Ask the Dating Coach: ‘HELP! She Wants Me to Baa Like a Sheep During Sex. What Do I Do?’
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How can I talk dirty without feeling awkward?
If you want to ask me any dating questions, please do. Send me an email, and I will answer them right here on the pod. Email me at connell at datingtransformation.com. That's C-O-N-N-E-L-L at datingtransformation.com. You can ask me anything. And I will answer it if I can on the air in an episode of Ask the Dating Coach. I also might answer it in my column. I write an advice column for the Good Men Project. So anyway, let's get to it. Let's get to question number one. This is wild. Here we go. This comes from Andrew, a 33-year-old in Brooklyn, New York. Andrew writes, Help! The woman I'm dating wants me to baa like a sheep during sex. What should I do? In his email to me, he wrote, Hey, Connell, I'm okay with dirty talk in bed, but the woman I'm into and dating is into lambs. In the middle of sex, she says to me, You're my little lamb, aren't you? I try to play along, and I say, Yes, I'm your lamb, but now she's wanting me to make lamb noises. She'll say, bah for me. Bah for me, little lamb. I want to hear you bah.
I'm no kink shamer, Andrew goes on to say, but I feel awkward making lamb noises. Should I tell her that I won't do it anymore? Okay, that's an amazing question. To bah or not to bah? That is the question. Andrew, I'm a big movie nerd. And I think that with this woman, you have a choice between the silence of the lambs and bleat prey love. You still wake up sometimes, don't you? You wake up in the dark and hear the screaming of the lambs. Yes. My view, by the way, is that if this woman is willing to hit the sheets with you, I'm always so appreciative when a beautiful, wonderful woman wants to hook up with me. So why not oblige her? I don't think she's asking for that much. Let me tell you a quick story from my dating past when I was single.
So years and years ago, I dated a wonderful woman named Kate. And Kate had some very specific desires in the bedroom. I remember the first night we were together, we were in bed, she was lying on my chest, lying next to me, and she took a deep inhalation, a deep smell of my chest, And she breathed in deep and said, ah, you smell like an Irish boxer. And I didn't think much more of it because, hey, if that's her type, great. I'm happy to be with this wonderful woman in bed with Kate. If she likes the Irish boxer type and I fit that mold, fantastic. Of course, I would be an Irish boxer with no muscle tone and a bit of a tummy. But hey, to each their own. So that was my first indication that she was into the whole Irish thing.
And then fast forward a couple of dates. She basically one night she asked me to use an Irish accent with her during sex. during intimacy. And at the time, I was very self-conscious about talking about sex or talking during sex. I was in my head. I was self-conscious, really a lot of self-judgment. And I didn't even want to talk sexy to a woman in bed, let alone do an accent.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What should I do if my partner wants me to baa like a sheep during sex?
2:13
2
How can I talk dirty without feeling awkward?
1:25–7:29
3
Am I too nice? Do women only want to date alpha males?
7:29–9:10
4
Why is the idea of the alpha male a myth?
9:10–12:24
5
What qualities do women really want in a partner?
12:24–13:14
6
How can I escape the friend zone?
13:14–42:39
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The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)