Do Women Ignore You on the Apps? These 12 Profile MUSTS Will Finally Get You Great Matches (Part 1 of 4)
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Who is Connell Barrett and what is this podcast about?
Showcase your authentic sense of humor. If you can make her laugh, you are more attractive than a guy with six-pack abs. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am your host, dating coach Conal Barrett. I'm the best-selling author of Dating Sucks But You Don't. I'm a dating coach. I am your podcast dating coach, here to help you confidently flirt with women, get more dates, and find your dream girlfriend. And do this all by being authentic. No sketchy pickup artist moves needed. Women like you for you. And my question for you today is, do you struggle to get quality matches and dates on the apps? If you're like most men, you do. And it's really frustrating, right? I know what that's like, which I'll tell you about in a second. And today I want to help you fix that by helping you fix your profile. So today I'm going to go through a 12 point checklist to show you exactly why you're not getting matches right now. and to help you start getting matches and dates, basically dates on demand, with wonderful women.
Why am I not getting quality matches on dating apps?
Because when you're not getting quality matches on the apps, oh man, it feels like women just aren't into you. It makes you feel unwanted. It can make you feel unlovable, unattractive. even hopeless. And I totally get this feeling. Long before I became a dating coach, I struggled with all the core dating problems that men deal with. And I struggled on the dating apps too. And I swiped and I swiped basically until I had carpal tunnel. And I just really struggled. At my lowest point with online dating, I remember... There was a point where I had literally only one match in the entire New York City area. I live in New York City where there's 20 million people in the greater New York area. I had one quality match. And she didn't even live in New York City.
What personal experience does Connell share about online dating struggles?
She lived 3,000 miles away. So I basically had one match in all of America. And I was feeling so lonely and so desperate at that time that I actually flew across the country to surprise her in SF. She and I had been chatting on the app, and I said, you know what? I'm going to surprise her, just like those guys in the rom-com movies. I saw myself as Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything, thinking, okay, I'll surprise her. I'll show up with my proverbial boombox and sweep her off her feet. So I fly to SF. I leave roses on her doorstep and a card that says, surprise, Connell's in town. Can't wait to meet you. And I waited and I waited and I waited for her text message to say, oh my God, you're here. Her name is Vanessa, by the way.
And I was waiting for Vanessa to text me and she never did. She ghosted me. So I flew to SF and got ghosted. And I felt completely rejected in that moment because I had literally no options, no dating options, and no online dating options. And that's what a weak online dating profile does. It doesn't just limit your matches, but it can make you feel lonely. It can make you feel rejected. It can make you needy and desperate like it did me. But here's the good news, though. The good news is if you're struggling with online dating, if you're not getting matches, It's not you. It's your profile. And this is totally fixable. In fact, my book is called Dating Sucks But You Don't because it came from a conversation I had with a client. And he was bummed out about his lack of matches.
How can fixing your profile improve your online dating success?
And he just felt like, oh, women don't like me. I guess I just suck. And I said, dude, you don't suck. You're awesome. You're a great guy. You have a cool sense of humor. You have a good job. He was a software engineer. Pretty shy guy. Not a naturally charismatic guy, but a great guy and a great catch. And I remember saying to him, his name is Vikram. I said, Vikram, you're an amazing guy. You're a great guy. You don't suck. Your profile sucks. Your photos suck. You're not showing your personality on your profile, but you're amazing. That's actually where my book title came from, Dating Sucks But You Don't. It came from this concept of you might think that you're unattractive to women because you're struggling on the apps, or you might think that the apps just don't work, that it's a big scam. But it's not. The apps work, and you have worth and value. You can absolutely get matches and get dates and find an awesome girlfriend online.
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Chapters
9 chapters
1
Who is Connell Barrett and what is this podcast about?
0:00–1:21
2
Why am I not getting quality matches on dating apps?
1:21–2:11
3
What personal experience does Connell share about online dating struggles?
2:11–3:55
4
How can fixing your profile improve your online dating success?
3:55–8:03
5
What are the 12 essentials of an irresistible dating profile?
8:03–11:04
6
What makes a magnetic first photo on dating apps?
11:04–16:46
7
How do I create a knockout second photo for my profile?
16:46–22:49
8
What is a 'man of action' photo and why is it important?
22:49–29:17
9
Why should I include a social proof photo on my dating profile?
29:17–49:00
More from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
7 Texting Mistakes that Make Women Flake Before the First Date (and 7 Easy Fixes)
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)