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How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett

Fix the Flirting Flaw that Creeps Women Out (the New Rules of Dating, Part 2)

08 Jan 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

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But if you are using chat GPT to write your openers, oh man, it's not gonna work.

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Chapter 2: What is the classy approaching move that women find fascinating?

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GPT stands for ghosted, probably tonight. If you use chat as your main writer. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your coach. I'm your host and your coach, dating coach, Conal Barrett.

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Chapter 3: How can you get girls to text you back?

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I want to help you get a great girlfriend in 2026 and do it with authenticity, not a bunch of sketchy pickup artist bullshit. And this is part two of my 26 new dating rules for 2026. If you missed parts one, or I should say the first 13 rules in the last episode, go check them out. Otherwise, let's get right to it. Let's continue counting down these 26 new rules of dating. Here we go.

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Rule number 14.

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Chapter 4: What is the right and wrong way to use AI on dating apps?

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Vulnerability is the new six pack.

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Chapter 5: How can vulnerability be an asset in dating?

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What do I mean by that? Well, approaching women is a very vulnerable thing to do.

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Chapter 6: What is the flirting flaw that makes decent men seem creepy?

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And it's that very vulnerability that makes it work as long as you lean into it. And because it's vulnerable, you may as well lean into it.

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Chapter 7: What are effective ways to ask for consent in a flirty manner?

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Vulnerability in dating in general, but also with approaching. So for example, when I take my clients out to meet women here in New York City, we go to lounges, we go to bars.

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Chapter 8: What question should you ask on every first date?

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And depending on a given guy's sticking points and goals, I often, not always, but I often have him start a night out by doing a very vulnerable, scary approach. Basically, I want them to really push their comfort zone. So for example, I had a client named Tyler and we went out one night and I said, Tyler, what are you scared to death of? What are you really nervous about in life in general?

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And he said, I'm terrified of clowns. He's one of those guys who's afraid of clowns. And so I had him walk up to two women and for his opener, he had to say, hi, I'm Tyler and I'm terrified of clowns. And not only did this not come off as weird or strange to these women, they were fascinated. One of them were like, oh my God, I hate clowns.

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Ever since I've seen Pennywise, the It movies, oh my God, I hate clowns. They're so scary. All of a sudden, these two women were fascinated. Another client, Blake, this is a very common approaching fear. He's petrified of not knowing what to say. Maybe the most common dating sticking point I hear from men, at least in terms of men who want to approach girls.

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And Blake was terrified of not knowing what to say. So I had him approach and he had to walk up to, I said, okay, your next five approaches, you have to walk up and say, hi, I'm Blake. And I don't know what to say to you. I wanted him to do five. He walked up to one woman, I should say two women, but one approach, and it instantly worked. They didn't even hear it, really.

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He just said, hi, I'm Blake. I don't know what to say. And they said, oh, hey, how are you? How's your night going? They were really happy to talk to him. And all of a sudden, he relaxed. He got confident. And he didn't even do four more approaches. He got one of the two women's numbers in less than 10 minutes. And they were kissing and making out on their first date. Right?

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So both of these approaches worked. Why? Well, because women respond to vulnerability. I don't mean oversharing or self-pity, just honest, basic, truthful communication and good old fashioned human courage. Women are not drawn to so-called alpha males. They're drawn to men who signal emotional availability, also self-awareness, and of course, my religion, signaling authenticity.

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That's what women want. So keep in mind, you might not have a real six pack, but if you can walk up to women, if you can be vulnerable on a date, share vulnerable stories, Walk up to a woman and say, I don't know what to say to you, but you're so interesting and attractive and I wanted to meet you. You'll be pleasantly shocked by how well this can work and how good it can feel just in your soul.

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Okay, number 15. By the way, we're counting down 26. This is part two. So if you're wondering why I'm starting in the middle teens at the beginning of this podcast episode, it's because this is the second episode. So new rule, the 15th new rule for 2026 is Consent is the new foreplay. Consent before sex is essential, but it doesn't have to sound like a legal deposition.

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The secret is to make it, when you're asking for sex or leading a woman towards sex for that first time, ask in a sexy, turned on way, not like an attorney asking a witness questions. Think Barry White, not Barry Sheck, okay? Barry White, great classic soul singer. Barry Sheck, OJ's lawyer. We don't want to be Barry Sheck. Be Barry White.

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