From Lonely to Lining Up Dates: 6 Simple Moves that Make Women Swipe Right on the Apps (Part 3)
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Who is Connell Barrett and why is he qualified to coach you on dating apps?
If you can make a woman laugh out loud while she's reading your profile, you instantly become sexier to her than Liam Hemsworth. I mean that. You become hotter to her than a guy with six-pack abs. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I am the best-selling author of Dating Sucks But You Don't and the founder of datingtransformation.com. Basically, I'm your dating coach. I'm your podcast dating coach, here to help you flirt with confidence, get a lot more dates, and get you an incredible girlfriend, get you that partner, that relationship that you really want. And the reason I became a dating coach... And a lot of people say, well, what qualifies you to figure out how to help men get dates? How did you become an expert?
And basically, I had all the big problems that you faced. I struggled to get matches on the dating apps. I didn't know what to say. I really doubted myself. And I just thought, I'm not that guy who girls go for. Because I was really lonely and largely lonely and largely dateless well into my 30s. And I remember I struggled on the apps, just like I bet you do. And I remember... I remember the first time I ever launched an online dating profile, I got a couple nibbles, but just women I wasn't attracted to, just women I wasn't that into. And I took that personally. And I thought, oh, man, I guess women just don't like me. I guess I'm that guy that doesn't get matches, doesn't get options on the apps. And the bottom line is that's not true. That wasn't true of me.
The problem wasn't me. It wasn't that I'm not good looking enough. It wasn't that I didn't have a lot to offer. The problem was that my photos and my bio were lacking these core essential things. And if you're struggling on the apps, which I assume you are, if you're still listening, is that you might think, oh, I guess I'm just not what women want. And I'm here to tell you that you are. You are what women want. Just like I learned I was what women want. And here was a big breakthrough moment I had. And I want you to have a moment like this. I remember when I finally got my dating profile handled by basically getting these 12 people online dating profile essentials checked, all the boxes checked, where almost all of them were checked.
I remember I started getting a lot of really good matches. I had a couple dozen matches and options at any given time. And there was one night many, many years ago when I had, it was a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I had three different first dates with three different, really cool, attractive, interesting women. And each of these first dates, they all ended basically the same way. Sexy, romantic make-out. And I remember I walked home that Saturday night. I live in New York City where you walk home. And I walked home that night. I drank at the time and I had a nice buzz going, had a nice Dos Equis buzz going. And I just thought, man, three cuties, three different nights made out with all of them. Wow. I guess women like me. I guess I'm enough.
On some level, that's what I was feeling. Maybe not in those exact words, but I realized, wow, I guess a lot of women do like me. And that's the moment I want you to have. I'm not saying you have to have three first dates and three different nights with three different women. You don't need to do that if you don't want to. You might just want to have... five, six, eight, 10 good matches coming in to your profile at any given time and then have one or two dates a week and then eventually choose a great girlfriend from some nice options. And that's what we've been working on for these last, uh, three episodes counting today's episode. I'm in the middle of a four-part series right now called The 12 Essentials of an Irresistible Online Dating Profile. In my 20 years now, I've been working in this area for 20 years, 20 years of online dating. I have learned a thing or two. I've got my 10,000 hours over 20 years for sure. And so we're in the middle of these 12 essentials. There are 12 things you have to have
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Chapters
2 chaptersMore from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)
The Date Seemed Great… So Why Did You End Up in the Friend Zone? (Part 1)