How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
From Lonely to Lining Up Dates: 6 Simple Moves that Make Women Swipe Right on the Apps (Part 3)
Thu, 01 May 2025
If you struggle on the apps, it can make you feel like you’re just not what women want. But the problem isn’t you—it’s your profile! Dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett can help. In Part 3 of his special series on online dating, Connell shares the second half of his 12 Essentials of an Irresistible Profile, so you can finally meet bright, beautiful women on Hinge, Bumble or any app.Highlights Include:01:33: Why Your Lack of Matches is Not About Your Looks02:19: How Connell Went from Struggling to Thriving on the Apps07:17: How to Hook Her Interest with this Simple Bio Secret14:19: The Line that Landed Connell Dozens of Great Matches17:45: The Essential that Makes Your Bio Magnetic27:47: Your Secret Weapon: How to Make Her Laugh35:17: The Hinge Poll Prompt that Gets Women Giggling and Wanting to Know More45:47: The 5 Red Flags that Make Her Swipe Left (Fix This Today!)Listen now, make these 6 simple moves, and start getting some great matches!DO YOU WANT TO ATTRACT YOUR DREAM GIRLFRIEND? BOOK A FREE CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:http://www.DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL FOR A FREE COPY OF HIS NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”:[email protected]
Chapter 1: Who is Connell Barrett and why is he qualified to coach you on dating apps?
If you can make a woman laugh out loud while she's reading your profile, you instantly become sexier to her than Liam Hemsworth. I mean that. You become hotter to her than a guy with six-pack abs. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I am the best-selling author of Dating Sucks But You Don't and the founder of datingtransformation.com.
Basically, I'm your dating coach. I'm your podcast dating coach, here to help you flirt with confidence, get a lot more dates, and get you an incredible girlfriend, get you that partner, that relationship that you really want. And the reason I became a dating coach... And a lot of people say, well, what qualifies you to figure out how to help men get dates? How did you become an expert?
And basically, I had all the big problems that you faced. I struggled to get matches on the dating apps. I didn't know what to say. I really doubted myself. And I just thought, I'm not that guy who girls go for. Because I was really lonely and largely lonely and largely dateless well into my 30s. And I remember I struggled on the apps, just like I bet you do. And I remember...
I remember the first time I ever launched an online dating profile, I got a couple nibbles, but just women I wasn't attracted to, just women I wasn't that into. And I took that personally. And I thought, oh, man, I guess women just don't like me. I guess I'm that guy that doesn't get matches, doesn't get options on the apps. And the bottom line is that's not true. That wasn't true of me.
The problem wasn't me. It wasn't that I'm not good looking enough. It wasn't that I didn't have a lot to offer. The problem was that my photos and my bio were lacking these core essential things. And if you're struggling on the apps, which I assume you are, if you're still listening, is that you might think, oh, I guess I'm just not what women want. And I'm here to tell you that you are.
You are what women want. Just like I learned I was what women want. And here was a big breakthrough moment I had. And I want you to have a moment like this. I remember when I finally got my dating profile handled by basically getting these 12 people online dating profile essentials checked, all the boxes checked, where almost all of them were checked.
I remember I started getting a lot of really good matches. I had a couple dozen matches and options at any given time. And there was one night many, many years ago when I had, it was a Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I had three different first dates with three different, really cool, attractive, interesting women. And each of these first dates, they all ended basically the same way.
Sexy, romantic make-out. And I remember I walked home that Saturday night. I live in New York City where you walk home. And I walked home that night. I drank at the time and I had a nice buzz going, had a nice Dos Equis buzz going. And I just thought, man, three cuties, three different nights made out with all of them. Wow. I guess women like me. I guess I'm enough.
On some level, that's what I was feeling. Maybe not in those exact words, but I realized, wow, I guess a lot of women do like me. And that's the moment I want you to have. I'm not saying you have to have three first dates and three different nights with three different women. You don't need to do that if you don't want to. You might just want to have...
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Chapter 2: Why is your lack of matches not about your looks?
So she's trying to find a reason to not swipe on you in a way. And being specific helps to create a vivid and authentic, I hope an authentic version of you that makes her realize, wow, this guy is colorful. He's relatable. He's interesting. And it's those details, the specificity and details, details, details. That's what's going to make this work. Yeah, and here's why it matters.
It matters because cliches or vagueness just really kill an online dating bio or a prompt, right? It makes a woman's eyes glaze over when you use tired, overused lines. Like, I love traveling. or I'm passionate about, yeah, that just doesn't work. So you want to be really specific. So think specific, not vague. It's kind of like vague is a swipe left, but specificity is sexy. Specificity is sexy.
So vague would be, I like watching movies. specific and and thank frankly sexy or at least vivid would be i love whodunit movies and i belong to a weekly movie group and we watch whodunits and try we try to guess who who did it in every movie i'm not saying that's literally sexy but it's compelling because it's specific right i could say i enjoy travel and i'm going to be visiting
going on a trip with my dad. Okay, that's nice. But what if I said, traveling lights me up more than anything on earth. And this year I'm taking my dad to Dublin, Ireland for a pub crawl and a tour of the Guinness factory. And I want him to connect with his Irish roots. All of a sudden that specificity brings me and who I am to life. It brings you to life.
And it helps a woman realize, wow, this is a guy. If you're her type within reason, this is a man I want to know. Again, remember what I said in the last episode? If you listened to it, I hope you did, which is that your online dating profile is a story. It's a book called Why You Are Boyfriend Material. Why you are a great catch. Why you are so dateable.
And specifics are going to bring those words to life. You struggle with dating, right? Sure, you have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating. Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there.
But I escaped. Using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my bestselling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't. And radical authenticity is why psychology today called me the best dating coach in America. And now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend.
So go to datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me. On our call, I'll tell you how my one-on-one coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend, and you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity. No creepy pickup tricks needed. So go to datingtransformation.com, book a free call today, and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend.
Okay, let's go to essential number 10. Number 10 is make her laugh. Make her laugh using your authentic sense of humor. Inject humor, quirks, some kind of playful, fun energy somewhere. Ideally in two or three places in your profile. You want your personality to come through. But at the very least, we want something that makes her laugh out loud.
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