How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
How to Write Irresistible Openers on the Apps + The Easy Way to Text and Get Dates (Part 3 of 5)
Wed, 20 Nov 2024
Do you struggle to write good openers? Do the women you text tend to ghost you? Help is on the way! In part 3 of this week’s special series on how to get a great girlfriend, your host—dating coach and bestselling author Connell Barrett—teaches you how to write irresistible openers on the apps that women reply to. Then he shares his simple, 4-step texting framework so you’ll always know what to message women, leading to more dates. And you’ll do all of this with authentic charm—no weird pickup tricks needed.In this episode, dating coach Connell Barrett will discuss:(4:28) The Real Reason You Struggle on the Dating Apps(7:27) The 3 Kinds of Openers NOT to Send(9:01) The 3 Secrets to Writing Openers that Women Love(10:25) How to Personalize Your Openers to Get Replies(12:57) The BIG Mistake You’re Making in the Apps(13:45) Why Women Love, Love, Love Playful Messages(15:30) How to Write the “Opposites Attract” Opener(17:58) How to Write the “Compliment + Nickname” Opener(20:56) How to Write the “Pop Quiz” Opener(28:00) 3 Tested Copy-Paste Openers that Women Love(29:58) Connell’s 4-Step Texting Framework to Get You Dates(32:57) A Breakdown of a Flirty Text Exchange with Suzy(38:30) Exactly When to Ask Women Out(40:32) Why Connell’s New “Surprisingly Sexy” Opener Works with ANY Woman(43:15) Your Dating Mission for this EpisodeAre you ready to stop getting ghosted and start getting dates? Listen now!Quotes"Learn her interests to tailor your approach; discussing them sparks meaningful conversations." - Connell Barnett"Master teasing by staying light and avoiding sensitive topics like appearance or intelligence. Keep it fun, not personal." - Connell BarnettFeatured in the episodeConnell BarrettFounder and Executive Coach of Dating TransformationWebsite:https://datingtransformation.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformationFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO CONFIDENTLY FLIRT WITH WOMEN BY BEING AUTHENTIC (NO SKETCHY PICKUP MOVES NEEDED):http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactTO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” 30 CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30
Chapter 1: What are irresistible openers for dating apps?
To swipe or not to swipe, that is the question. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach and author, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you confidently flirt with women and attract your dream girlfriend all by being authentic. No toxic pickup tricks needed. And this is part two of a five-part week-long series this week to help you get a girlfriend.
And last time I went over what I call man-to-woman communication, which is that turbocharged form of flirting and doing it as your authentic self. Today in part three, it's all about how to write flirty openers on the dating apps that'll get women replying and also how to text women to get you dates. So it's about how to be man-to-woman, but do it with online dating openers and when texting women.
Because if you're like most guys, you probably struggle with writing online dating openers and with texting women on the apps. You probably get ghosted. It costs you dates and confidence. And look, it's just so frustrating to match with a really attractive, intriguing woman only to hear this sound after you send her that opener. So let's get rid of that cricket's noise for once and for all.
You're about to learn two really, really powerful and also, of course, practical things. I'm going to teach you how to write irresistible openers that women reply to on today's episode. And I'm also going to give you my four-step framework that's going to make it so easy for you to know what to text her and to be able to keep women interested and messaging you back so that you can get dates.
So you're about to get really good at writing online dating openers that women reply to, and you're about to get really good at texting. And some of these openers are so good that if you're like me and some of my clients, a lot of times a woman will message you her phone number with her first or second message, or she starts to chase you. She starts to message you saying, hey, how was your day?
When are you asking me out? So if you want that kind of attention from women, then stick around. And also stick around to the very end of the episode, because I'm going to give you my favorite one-size-fits-all opener. I call it the surprisingly sexy opener, which is a fun, flirty opener that... I would say over 60% of women reply to who I message and my clients message.
I get, it's got a 60 plus percentage response rate. So listen to the quote, surprisingly sexy opener, which I'll share in the last few minutes of today's episode. And also I'm going to give you a mission to do as well at the very end, because this podcast is not just about passively consuming dating advice. Think of this as a dating coach session with me as your hitch, with me as your coach.
And again, Information is great, but you've got to take action. So I'm going to give you some missions to take action at the end of this episode. So before I get to the really good stuff, the really good how-to teaching, first of all, I just want to say thank you for being here. I know that you are busy. You've got a job. You've got a life.
You've got a million other podcasts or places you can consume dating advice. Thank you for being here with me. I also want to say that I think I know what you're going through. I remember myself struggling on the dating apps back in the day.
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Chapter 2: What should you avoid in dating app openers?
So that creates some flirty friction, I call that. Now, another way you could do the opposites attract opener with Anastasia is this way. Hey, Anastasia, I would write, you're super cute, but I see that you sleep with the blinds open. I actually sleep with blackout shades. What do you think? Can opposites attract? So it's that simple. Here's the structure. So you can use this as well.
The structure is, hey, name, you're super cute. I always like to compliment her on being cute. Hey, name, you're super cute. But I see that and then insert the detail about her and then insert the opposing viewpoint that you have. And then you say, what do you think? Can opposites attract? So again, one more quick example might be, hey, Anastasia, I see you're a dog mom.
Uh-oh, I'm a big cat lover. I'm a cat dad. What do you think? Can opposites attract? Winky face. It's that simple. And notice how the opposites attract opener ends with a question. A good, playful question and a simple, easy-to-answer question makes it more likely that she'll respond.
And again, please go to my Instagram if you want to see some of these back-and-forth messages that I do with women on the dating apps. Okay, let's take a really quick break. You struggle with dating, right? Sure, you have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating.
Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there. But I escaped. Using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my bestselling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't.
And radical authenticity is why psychology today called me the best dating coach in America. And now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend. So go to datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me. On our call, I'll tell you how my one-on-one coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend, and you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity.
No creepy pickup tricks needed. So go to datingtransformation.com, book a free call today, and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend. All right, here's another opener I love. I call it the compliment plus nickname opener.
For this opener, you notice something specific about her, again, that you like, and then you give her a nickname that's based on the thing you complimented. This keeps things positive. And remember from your Amanda Woman flirting training in the last episode, go back and listen to it if you haven't. It's hugely important.
You might remember that giving a woman a cute little nickname is a great way to flirt early on. So let's look at a profile of a woman named Amy, also from Bumble. She's a great catch. She is very attractive and super stylish. And what I notice about her profile is she has six different photos on her Bumble. And in every photo, she's wearing a different, really great, attractive outfit.
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