‘I Sent a Voice Note About Her Boobs…to HER! Can I Recover?’ Dating Coach Connell Barrett Breaks It Down
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What embarrassing dating disaster does the episode start with?
When you make a mistake on a date, it's not so much the mistake, but how you bounce back from it that women are going to notice.
How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach Connell Barrett, here to help you attract your dream girlfriend by being authentic. No sketchy pickup artist moves needed. And today we're going to do another installment of Ask the Dating Coach.
How can a dating disaster potentially lead to attraction?
Ask Coach Connell.
What is the 3-step framework for recovering from dating mistakes?
I get a lot of great questions from guys and my clients. But I hear from you on Instagram. I hear from you on my email. If you have any dating questions, I will answer them as best I can when I get them. You can email me at connell at datingtransformation.com. That's C-O-N-N-E-L-L. Or you can also find me on Instagram at datingtransformation. All right, let's get to it. And I have a doozy of a question to start with today. This comes to me from a man who I dubbed Connell.
What are the do's and don'ts of sexting?
vexed by voice note here's his question hey connell i just had a great first date with a total knockout and i was so excited about my date that i recorded an audio message for my trainer that said bro her boobs are ridiculous i just want to nom nom nom on them like a toddler But then I accidentally sent a voice note to her. I am mortified. How do I apologize and not lose her? I would still like to get a second date with her if I can. Signed, his name.
How many texts should you send before asking for a date?
And then I'm calling him vexed by voice note. Oh, man. So you know how you can unsend a text message? I think Apple needs to add a reclaim your dignity button to the iPhone. That might help you, vexed. But the good news is sometimes a fuck up is a gift. Sometimes a goof turns into a gift. Here's a quick story from my dating past.
How can humor help in apologizing after a dating blunder?
I was once on a first date, a sushi date, with an incredible, attractive, witty, stylish, blonde woman named Laura. And I was so into Laura. This was our second date, I believe. And she was way out of my league at the time, so I thought. So for me, the stakes were high. So the sushi date starts well. I excuse myself to the men's room. We're sitting in these booths, by the way, the sushi place here in Manhattan. And I came back from the men's room, and I returned to what I thought was our booth. I slide in. Because there's a pretty blonde woman sitting in that booth. And I say, hey, I'm back, hotness. Only to look up and see a baffled blonde sitting across from me who is not my date. I had sat in the wrong booth, catty corner to the actual booth with Laura.
And I just saw, oh, pretty blonde. I'll sit there. And my face turns red. And she's looking baffled. And I'm embarrassed. And then seconds later, her boyfriend appears at the booth. He probably just got back from the bar. And he gives me a look that says, what the fuck? What's going on here? So I apologized. I said, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I sat in the wrong booth. And I go back. Meanwhile, Laura is at our actual table, gleefully watching this disaster movie unfold. She may as well have been sitting there eating popcorn in the front row of a movie. She loved it. And Laura has a very sardonic sense of humor, my memory of her anyway. And I got back, and she was laughing. She's like, you're as smooth as sandpaper, Connell.
She was laughing, and I just kind of slunk into the correct booth. Now, to my surprise, that screw up didn't sink me with her. I thought it might, but actually it didn't hurt me. In fact, I think it helped me. I know it helped me because about a date later, we really connected. We became intimate. And she later confessed to me that that moment she said to me, and I quote, that actually made me want you. That was when I really wanted you. Can you imagine? It was only when I screwed up and fucked up that Laura got extra attracted to me. And I said, why? What are you talking about? She said, well, the way you owned it and laughed it off, it was so impressive. You were like the most confident guy in the room.
And We dated for several months. We didn't become boyfriend-girlfriend. We weren't really a good long-term romantic fit. But we did connect in a way that I feel good about, and I think she did as well.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What embarrassing dating disaster does the episode start with?
0:00–0:28
2
How can a dating disaster potentially lead to attraction?
0:28–0:30
3
What is the 3-step framework for recovering from dating mistakes?
0:30–1:03
4
What are the do's and don'ts of sexting?
1:03–1:40
5
How many texts should you send before asking for a date?
1:40–2:10
6
How can humor help in apologizing after a dating blunder?
2:10–6:18
7
What are the key elements to successful sexting?
6:18–8:39
8
How do you know when to ask a woman out on a date?
8:39–30:55
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)
The Date Seemed Great… So Why Did You End Up in the Friend Zone? (Part 1)