How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
“I Went from Zero to 83 Matches in a Week!” The 6 Essential Photos You Need for Dating App Success
Thu, 30 Jan 2025
Not getting enough quality matches on Hinge, Bumble or Tinder? Here’s the problem: Your photos aren’t making the right impression. But there’s a simple fix. Dating coach Connell Barrett reveals the 6 essential photos that he and his clients use to consistently get good matches on the apps. Connell’s client Ben puts it best: “I went from zero good matches on Hinge to getting 83 matches in one week. Suddenly I had too many dates!” Connell also reveals the 5 photo mistakes that make women swipe left—so you don’t sabotage your own success.You’re about to get the blueprint for the perfect profile, down to the ideal photo order:3:40: Essential Photo No. 1: The “Radically Authentic” Portrait to Hook Her Interest9:25: Essential Photo No. 2: The “Intriguing Photo” that Makes Her Want to Learn About You12:25: Essential Photo No. 3: The “Aww Factor” Image that Melts Her Heart15:50: Essential Photo No. 4: The “Man of Action” Shot that Turns Her Head18:55: Essential Photo No. 5: The “Social Man” Pic that Showcases Your Attractive Life20:48: Essential Photo No. 6: The “Wildcard” Photo that Makes Swiping Right a No-Brainer24:01: Plus! 5 Photo Mistakes that HURT You on the Apps!Listen now, update your photos, and start getting dates with women you actually want to meet.WATCH THIS VIDEO SHOWING YOU THE 6 ESSENTIAL PHOTOS:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcSb0-cMbsU&t=4sFOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE GREAT FIRST DATES:http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactTO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30WANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:[email protected]
Chapter 1: Why are dating apps not working for me?
It's not you. It's the halibut you're holding. That's your problem on the apps. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I am here to help you flirt with confidence, get dates, and get a great girlfriend, all by being authentic. No sketchy, weird, toxic pickup artist moves needed. Not here. And let me ask you a question.
I think I know the answer to this, but I'll ask you anyway. Are the dating apps just not working for you? They don't work for most guys, at least not very well. Chances are you swipe and you swipe and you swipe and you're really struggling to get good matches, good dates.
If you're struggling with online dating, if you've got carpal tunnel because you swipe so much with no results, we wanna fix that. And it can lead to a lot of other problems, right? It can lead to anger, frustration, giving up on the apps. And worst case scenario, you end up moving to a monastery in Myanmar, becoming a monk, swearing off women, and just meditating on a mountain.
Hey, that's not going to work for most guys. Well, today's episode, I've got some really good tips for you. Today's episode, I want to give you six essential photos that pretty much every guy needs in order to get matches and dates on any dating platform. And most men, if you're struggling on the apps, it's because your photos just aren't good enough. It's not that you're not good enough.
Chapter 2: What are the six essential photos for dating app success?
It's that your photos aren't making women feel the way we want them to feel. And that's simply about understanding that online dating isn't really dating. Not until you meet a woman or at least have a phone date with her. Online dating isn't dating. It's marketing. You're marketing a product. The product is you. The product is you as a great boyfriend. The product is you as a great guy.
A guy with so much to offer, and I know you have so much to offer. So understand, if you would, that if you're struggling on the dating apps, the good news is it's not you. It's the fish photos you're showing women. It's not you. It's the halibut you're holding. That's your problem on the apps. And I've been a dating coach now for 13 years.
I've helped thousands of guys get literally tens and tens and tens of thousands of matches on the dating apps. And I want to help you have the same kind of results. So today's episode, I'm going to give you six essential photos that you need in order. In order. I'm going to tell you exactly what six photos to use. I'll tell you how to take the photos and what order to put them in.
These are going to help you so much. I have a client named Ben. Ben did these six photos and he was literally getting like zero good matches a week. He was getting okay matches, but women he just wasn't attracted to. And he did these six photos and all of a sudden he was like, Connell, you're killing me. I'm so upset.
He's like, I got 83 matches this week, and I just don't have time to go on all these dates. And so I want you to have, that's called a first world problem. I want you to have first world problems like that. So here we go. Here are the six game changing photos that are going to really help you change the game for you on Tinder, on Bumble, on Hinge. And stick around to the very end.
In about 15, 20 minutes at the end of today's episode, I'm going to give you the Five photos not to use on dating apps. The photos that are going to get you swiped left on. So stick around to the very end and I'll talk about those too. Okay, here we go. Game-changing photo number one. Essential photo number one is you want a portrait. What I call a radically authentic portrait.
You want your first photo to be a portrait of you that... makes a really good first impression, and that sucks a woman in and just makes her say, wow, this guy is well-dressed. And I would love to learn more about him. Most guys don't have good portraits. Most guys just have a couple selfies on their online dating profile.
Or if they do have a portrait, if you do have a portrait, it might be a studio shot or it looks too much like a LinkedIn photo. And that first photo, the first essential photo, I call this a radically authentic photo. Here are the core components to it. Number one is you should be well-dressed. You should be dressed first date great. Number two is you should be looking at the camera.
You should be making eye contact with the camera. In other words, with that woman who's looking at you. And you should be smiling an authentic, genuine smile. Not a fake, say, cheese photo. And don't do a Zoolander, mean-mugging, trying to look sexy smile, I want you to do a real, genuine, authentic smile.
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Chapter 3: What is a radically authentic portrait and why is it important?
Your whole face lights up, basically. And that makes women feel what they want to feel to swipe right on you. If you just go, say cheese. then only your mouth smiles, but your eyes don't smile. And you look like the Joker from Batman. And hey, look, I love Batman. I love me that movie, but we don't want you looking like an evil Batman villain.
We want you looking awesomely, authentically attractive. So that's essential photo number one. And again, go to my Instagram or go to that YouTube video to see these photos in action. Because here's the thing, a really good opening portrait is going to get you probably 25% to 35% of your matches. All right, so that's essential photo number one.
It's the most important one, which is why I'm spending the most time on it. Essential photo number two, that secondary portrait, secondary photo, I should say. I call this an intriguing photo. What does that mean? The second photo should be another portrait that makes her want to learn more about you. It's another portrait, but it looks different than that first one, that radically authentic one.
So make the second photo another portrait, but you want to be wearing different clothes. a different backdrop, and just have a different vibe. What makes it intriguing is you're showing her a second side of you, a different side of you. For example, my photo, my opening photo, essential photo number one, I'm wearing a nice dark blue blazer and a tie, and I'm smiling a big warm smile.
My second photo, I have a leather jacket. and I'm looking away from the camera. I'm not making eye contact. I'm wearing a leather jacket, and I just look a little bit edgier. It's also taken outside. My first photo is indoors with natural light, jacket, tie, looking very successful, very stylish, very cover of GQ. My second photo, leather jacket, Henley shirt taken outside.
I'm looking a little bit off at an angle. It's a different vibe and that intrigues women because I'm showing complexity. So your second photo should be another portrait It should just look different than the first. We don't want the second to look the same as the first. Women like variety. They want to see a different side of you.
So maybe that first photo of you in the jacket and tie, that might attract some women. But maybe women like a guy with some edge, a little bit of bad boy edge. Maybe you're wearing a leather jacket in the second photo, and you're looking away from the camera instead of looking at the camera. Now, you should still be smiling in both, in my opinion, for most guys. An authentic, real smile.
But it's that second photo that might essentially attract a woman who might not be into the first photo. So yeah, a lot of women say... Most women match with me because they love that first photo of me. But every so often I get a woman saying, hey, I like that jacket. Or, ooh, you look like badass in that second photo. They're basically saying I like that second vibe. So...
Again, recapping, the second photo should be a different outfit, different setting, different clothes, but still a really good portrait. And here's your third photo. By the way, I'm leading towards something here. Basically, you should be hooking a woman's interest and matching with you by the I call it the one-two punch.
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Chapter 4: How does the intriguing photo help in attracting matches?
I'm going to give you what I call the flirty 30. These are 30 flirty questions to ask women on the apps or on dates or when you approach. so that you can confidently connect with cool, sexy women starting today. It's time to stop running out of things to say and start asking them flirty questions that are going to make them want to date you. To get your copy of the Flirty 30, it's totally free.
Just go to datingtransformation.com slash flirty30. That's F-L-I-R-T-Y 3-0. Datingtransformation.com slash flirty30. You're about to start. confidently flirting with women, going on dates, and soon getting a great girlfriend. Go get your flirty 30. And essential photo number six, I call this the wild card photo. Number six, this could be almost anything as long as it's unexpected.
For this one, we want to break the pattern. We want to show women something they have not seen in any of the other five photos. This is the cherry on top of your picture. online dating profile, something unexpected that's going to make her go, oh, wow, I love this guy. This guy is different. This will seal the deal if she's definitely leaning towards swiping on you.
And if she's on the fence, it'll push her over to the swipe right side of the fence. So here's some examples of wildcard photos. One of my best ones is a Halloween costume, Halloween outfit I wore a couple years ago. I was a hot cop. I was a hot cop, basically, like a stripper cop, basically. Sergeant Dick Utopia was my Halloween costume. And that gets me a lot of likes and hearts online.
A really cool travel photo that's visually arresting and different. I have a client who took some photos in the Redwood Forest of... somewhere up in Washington or Oregon, forget where it was, but he's in this really compelling forest. That's a travel photo, but what makes it work is not that he's traveling, it's that it's visually so different.
I have another, this is hard to tell on an audio platform, but one of my clients, John, took a great photo of him. He's just standing out in the street in New York City. And he's standing there as if he's on the phone, but instead of holding his phone, he's holding a banana up to his ear.
But he's got a very serious look on his face, like an important businessman on a call, but he's talking into a banana. So dumb, I know. Another client, the photo that worked for him for his wildcard game-changing... His nickname is The Gooch, G-O-O-C-H. He has a photo of him wearing a leather jacket, and on the back of his leather jacket is his nickname. bright gold letters, the gooch.
And the photo is just a shot of him from the back. It doesn't even show his face. But his thumbs are pointing to the back of his photo, the gooch. It's just so different. It just makes women go, well, that's different. So think of anything that's just different. It's about making her laugh or smile. So think different and breaking patterns, but in an unexpected way.
So again, I know this one's a hard thing to convey on a podcast. Please check out the YouTube video in the show notes or go to my Instagram and you'll see examples of me doing what I call these sixth essential photo is the cherry topper, the pattern interrupter, the photo that basically it's something that's going to make her smile. It's a wild card.
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