The Flirty Dozen: 12 Ways to Smash Out of the Friend Zone and Spark Connection on First Dates
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What is the main topic of this episode?
Do not, I repeat, do not make a gangbang joke on a first date. That's not the lesson here. The lesson here is to be expressive and let your personality come out. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett, helping you to flirt with confidence and get more dates and get a great girlfriend and do it with authenticity doing it as the real core you because women like you for you as long as you know how to flirt and how to make just a few moves and speaking of flirting and making moves today's episode is about you if you struggle with getting second dates maybe you get first dates Or there's women you like, but you can't even get a first date with her because she puts you in the friend zone. Or you do get first dates, but you really struggle to get second or third dates. Women just lose interest after two or three dates. Let's call this the friend zone, the dreaded friend zone. And today's episode is all about why we get in the friend zone and how to get out of it.
And I'm going to give you what I call the flirty dozen. I'm going to give you 12 great actionable practical tips that will help you smash out of the friend zone. 12 of them. Three of them are before the date. Six of them are on the date. And three more are after the date. So that we can smash you out of the friend zone and start getting you second and third dates. And a girlfriend. And women kissing you and making out with you and loving being with you. And that's what I want for you. So how do I know so much about the friend zone? Well, I used to live there. I was the mayor. I was a friend zone oligarch. I was the mayor of friend zone town. I basically was in the friend zone with women until my mid thirties. I remember so many friend zonings. It's just so sad.
I can laugh about it now. I was once on a date and it was going so blandly that She ended the date before I finished my Modelo. I had one drink. I was halfway done. And she said, well, it was nice meeting you. And I wasn't even halfway done with my date. And she bolted. I was on another first date and it was going. So it wasn't going badly. It was just flatlining. And she left me for another guy on the actual date. I'm not making this up. We were on a date. I forget her name. It's been so many years. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah and I were on a date, and it was just so flatlining and lame and boring. All my fault. And she saw three or four people who happened to be people she knew and was acquainted with, including a guy she clearly was into.
And she ended up saying, well, I'm going to go over to them now. Bye. And she left me for another guy on a first date. That was a first. And then there was a woman named Lauren. And Lauren... was a huge crush I had back in the mid double zeros. And this was a classic case of the friend zone because on paper she wanted to like me. On paper I was her type, intelligent and funny, at least on my good days, but I just couldn't get out of my own way. I was very eager. I was inauthentic with her. And at one point, I was just making stories up to try to impress her. And she could feel me trying to impress her, trying to be somebody I wasn't. And she friend-zoned me at first. Now, finally, I had a point in my life where I got some coaching. I got some help. I got some advice. And I said, you know what? Let's just try something radically different. And here's the night everything changed for me for the better. It was my first date with Katie. Katie was and is a beautiful woman, stylish, tall, slender, blonde.
Why do women lose interest after a first date?
She reminded me of a tall Sarah Michelle Gellar, which is a big thing for me because I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer back in the day. And I had a first date with Katie at this cocktail bar, fancy cocktail bar, very early in my dating journey. of getting first dates and just trying to figure out how the heck do you make sparks happen with women? And I told myself before that date, I said, you know what? I'm going to try something very different. I'm done being fake nice. I'm done trying to tell her, trying to show her that I'm good enough for her. I'm just going to really fully be me. So what does that mean for me? Well, I'm a natural born smart ass. When I was in college, our freshman year, they gave out
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What is the main topic of this episode?
0:00–4:17
2
Why do women lose interest after a first date?
4:17–8:08
3
What is the flirty dozen?
8:08–17:51
4
How to go for a first kiss successfully?
17:51–21:50
5
What should you text the day after a date?
21:50–27:58
6
How can you avoid the friend zone?
27:58–37:40
7
What are the best pre-date tips?
37:40–58:50
More from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
7 Texting Mistakes that Make Women Flake Before the First Date (and 7 Easy Fixes)
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)