Use these 8 Flirty Questions to Stop Boring Women and Spark Deep, Romantic Conversations
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What do women really want in a date?
It's a myth that women want the guy with the best game. They don't. They want the guy who feels the best about who he is and who can share that best self as he's getting to know her. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I am here to help you flirt with confidence, get lots of dates and get a great girlfriend, all by being radically authentic. No sketchy pickup moves needed. And if you're watching me on Spotify video right now, or YouTube, yes, I'm wearing a Yankees t-shirt for the first time in my life. I'm wearing a Yankees regalia. Because when your girlfriend's a Yankees fan, That means you're a Yankees fan. And today's episode, I've got something kind of different planned for you. I've got five kick-ass great questions from listeners who have been writing me with questions about dating issues, struggling with flirting. We've got a really good question coming up about good questions to ask on dates to get you out of the friend zone. I've got a guy who needs some texting help.
And anyway, I've got five really good questions from listeners. And if you want me to answer one of your questions, the best way to reach me is my email. Email me at connell at datingtransformation.com. Ask me any dating question, any problem you're struggling with. And if I don't respond to you personally by email, and I probably will, But if I don't, I will definitely answer you on this podcast so that everybody listening can get some help. Okay, let's get to it. Let's go to question number one. This comes from G, the letter G in Los Angeles. He's 33. And here's the headline I wrote for it. Help. I can't stop lying to women about my shameful sexual secret. Here we go. Hey, Connell. I go on a lot of first dates and women ask me the same basic question. What was your last relationship like? The truth is I've never had a relationship. I've never even had sex. I'm still a virgin. He goes on, parenthetically, in my 20s, I focused on my career, not on dating. When I get the relationship question, I lie like a rug.
I act like I'm a player, and I refer to my, quote, many sex partners from the past. I even mention an imaginary former fiance of mine. I feel shame that I'm a virgin and that I'm so inexperienced. I hate lying to women, but I'm afraid that no one will want me if they learn the truth. How can I stop doing this? From G in Los Angeles. He is 33. Well, there is no shame, my man. There's no shame in having no game. Because if you're going to beat yourself up for something, do it for lying like George Santos, talking his way out of a speeding ticket. Don't do it for lying about your sexual past. Can you imagine George Santos trying to talk his way out of a speeding ticket? Sorry, officer, I'm late.
I'm accepting the Nobel Prize in physics for my discovery of entangled photons in physical cosmology. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket. Anyway, G, thank you for your question. So a man lies on a date because he fears that a woman won't like him for who he is. And in your case, what you're telling yourself is, I'm a virgin, and that might mean I'm not enough for her. So you're wearing a mask, a player mask, and essentially pretending to be somebody who you're not. You're actually pretending to be the opposite of who you are. And there's no judgment from me here. I know all about telling big fat whoppers on dates. Back in the 00s, when I was first working on my dating life, almost 20 years ago, I met a woman named Lisa. I was way into her. I was super at it.
I was really crushing on Lisa. She was smart, sexy, witty, blonde. I was smitten. I was a school. I was Smith faced. I was full of Smith. I was basically writing Connell plus Lisa on my spiral notebook. And I felt out of my league with her though. That's the truth is I felt like she was out of my league. As far as I was concerned, she was a major leaker and I was a Toledo mud hen. And I remember thinking, well, what the heck am I going to talk to this bright bombshell like about on our date? Why would she like a bookish nerd like me? Because Lisa was into outdoor stuff. She was into scuba diving and hiking. And so what I did when I had a first date with her is I pretended to be into the things that she liked. I pretended to be the guy I thought she wanted.
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Chapters
2 chaptersMore from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)
The Date Seemed Great… So Why Did You End Up in the Friend Zone? (Part 1)