How To Make Love™

120: How to Change Your mind

13 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we explore why truly living our values—like inclusivity, growth, and liberation—requires more than good intentions. It demands th...

119: How to Love Without Villains

23 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

This episode is about the habit of making someone wrong—-and how quickly that instinct shapes the way we relate to each other. I'm asking what becom...

118: How to Stay Put

28 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

What happens after you let go of forced hope? No breakthrough. No surge of inspiration. Just life—continuing. In this quiet, honest episode building...

117: How to Hope

16 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

How do you hope when there's no logical reason to? In this episode, we explore what hope really is—and what it isn't. Rather than treating hope as o...

116: How to Rehumanize

26 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What does it mean to stay human in a world that fuels disconnection, numbness, and productivity? This episode digs into everyday forms of dehumanizati...

115: Like the World is Already Free

31 Aug 2025

Contributed by Lukas

laura reflects on the paradox of fighting for liberation while remembering we are already free. Through Buddhist practice, personal story, and practic...

114: How to Despair

30 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In this deeply human episode of How to Make Love, laura invites us to practice despair—not as defeat, but as an act of love and honesty. Together, w...

113: How to Believe in Others—Especially When You Shouldn't

23 Jun 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Let's explore the radical, often uncomfortable practice of believing in others—even when life, systems, and personal history give us every reason no...

112: How to Let Go

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Letting go isn't often graceful, it tends to be gutting—and it might also be the truest path to liberation. In this episode, laura explores what it ...

111: How to Not Know

14 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What if certainty is (sometimes) a part of the problem? This episode unpacks how our need to know can prop up domination—and how embracing the skill...

110: How To Fight

26 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

To fight or not to fight? And how? And against whom? Or for what? Join laura for a discussion about how to fight on behalf of love and justice differ...

109: How to Love the World When You Hate the World

19 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What do we do when we start to feel really embittered toward the world and the humans in it? How do we hold love and rage at the same time? How do we ...

108: What's Love Got To Do With It? (Inauguration Response)

20 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Can love really go toe-to-toe with hate? If so, how do we train for it? What does love really have to do with today and the next four years? Come dig ...

107: the Revolution of Reinvention

20 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this episode, we explore the art of personal reinvention — what it means to choose change on your own terms and imagine new possibilities for you...

106: Self, Family, and Organizational Care During Election Week [Bonus Episode]

28 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for discussion about practicing self, family, and organizational care during the upcoming weeks -- and how to prepare for it no...

105: The Costs of Courage

21 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We rarely confront the true costs of courage—social, emotional, physical, personal, professional. This episode unpacks why, despite the steep price,...

104: Love-Ability

30 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Loveability is a mess. But love-ability? Now we're talking. Tune in to hear why shifting from "loveability" to "love-ability" might change your life, ...

103: "I needed to understand – why do you believe these things?" (ft. Jada Hebra)

17 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How do we love people we really, really disagree with? Join today's guest Jada Hebra to hear her personal story of crossing a giant divide with her sp...

102: Celebrating 5 Years of Making Love

26 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Happy Birthday/Anniversary to How To Make Love! 🎈 We're back after an extended sabbatical and ready to take on more making of the love, justice, ...

Minisode: Winter Love

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The winter can pose unique challenges and opportunities to our practice of making love, courage, justice, and liberation. Tune in for a couple of thi...

101: The Feelings of Freedom

30 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There's the idea of freedom and the somatics of freedom. Today's episode tackles how and why we should learn to cultivate the sensations of freedom in...

100: Welcome to My/Your Crisis

30 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Who's ready for a mid-life crisis?! Me! You? Come on in for a lovingly honest and personal conversation about those feelings of falling apart –– m...

99: UNcontrol

31 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ethic. Process. Aspiration. Practice. Come learn what else UNcontrol is and means and why we should engage it in the work of personal and collective f...

98: "Relationships are what have rescued me." (ft. Alli Myatt)

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Belonging. Repair. Lines of difference. Today, guest Alli Myatt and I discuss radical relationships — especially at work. What makes them hard, what...

97: How To Be A Good Loser

31 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Becoming a bad winner and a good loser is ... a little counterintuitive, to say the least. Learn how and why in this episode. And what all of that has...

96: UNperforming

28 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We all perform. We've all been socialized to perform. And: none of us are truly free in a performance. Today's episode will take you into the what, wh...

95: "I didn't understand the toll that survivalism took on my Self." (ft. Chrystal Toop)

31 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The path of healing is paved in UNlearning. In today's episode, we'll hear examples of what there may be to UNlearn and how that UNlearning has played...

94: "You can't create without breaking something." (ft. Oceana Sawyer)

28 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

There is bracing. And there is breaking. In today's episode, learn why the latter is so essential to healing, to liberation, and to creation. Featur...

93: How To Think

31 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

What's the thing that: a) humans do constantly, b) shapes our life in resounding ways, and c) we're never taught how to do? –– think. Our thoughts...

92: 5 Essential Skills for Practicing Justice

30 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

What––for you––is the single most essential skill or tool right now in your practice of justice?––love?––courage? That's the question ...

91: Consent As A Way of Being

31 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When we learn to think of consent as a way of being and a practice in ALL domains of our life, we expand the work of justice, liberation, and love. Jo...

90: Scarcity

29 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes called 'scarcity thinking,' laura breaks down and reframes the notion of scarcity – what is is, where it comes from, and how to heal it. T...

89: How To Make (Dis) Ease

30 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join laura for a conversation about how we make ease and how we erode ease in our personal relationships. Plus, we'll look  at some common culprits (...

88: The Shadow Side of Purpose

28 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Purpose can be a guiding light. It can also be a dark shadow. But we rarely talk about the latter. We explore that conversation in this episode.

87: Freedom From The Inside-Out

30 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We can value freedom. We can treat it as an outcome. Or. And: we can train in making it our way of BEing. Resources from the podcast: Read My Grandm...

86: How To Hold Your Bits Responsibly

05 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

No part of you is bad. And also: some of your bits likely create harm in the world. Find out why, how, and what to do about it. Send laura a question ...

85: How To Judge Other People

19 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

😮 Since we all judge other people, let's be sure we understand the whats, whys, and hows of it. Especially the hows that connect us to oppressive w...

84: How To Be Selfish

30 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Most of us consider selfishness a bad thing...but what if that's an oppressive lie? Episode Resources: Link to become a patreon! Reflection Questions:...

Listener Question Minisode: feeling vs. inflaming emotions

16 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

laura tackles a listener question from episode 82: "How can you personally tell the difference between feeling an emotion and inflaming an emotion?"  ...

83: Consensual Expectations

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

High expectations can be helpful -- and they can create harm. For ourselves, and for others. How do we know the difference? What can be done to mitiga...

82: How To Feel Like Sh*t

08 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Let's talk about the importance of feeling emotional pain and "negative" emotion in both our lives and in the work of justice. In this episode, you'll...

81: How To Be Alive

18 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura as we dig into the whats, whys, and hows of aliveness. What prevents us from being and feeling alive? What helps us be and feel alive?...

80: BEing Gentle

11 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Access the show notes page here: www.laurabrewer.love/episode80   Love How To Make Love? Return the love by writing a review on iTunes or joining ou...

thank you ❤️

21 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Thank you times a million. I'll see you for episode 80 in the new year.  love. laura

79: Your Own Adversary

30 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you have your own back? Would you like to?    If you'd like to explore working with laura to build a radical practice of self compassion, you ca...

78: Impact > Intensity

16 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We've all heard of 'intent vs. impact' -- but how are 'intensity' and 'impact' related? And does our intensity produce the impact we mean to have?   ...

77: Listener Love Pick -- "Pleasure is at the heart of understanding how to get free." (ft. adrienne maree brown)

26 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's another listener love pick!--a listener-selected replay episode while we take a short October hiatus.    Join guest adrienne maree brown for a ...

76: Listener Love Pick -- "Do you love this person enough to be yourself & also change yourself?" (ft. Yolonda & Will Jones)

19 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's the first ever listening love pick!--a listener selected replay episode while we take a short October hiatus.  Join former guest Yolonda Coles J...

75: Well-Resourced vs. Not Depleted

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, we will: Look at the inherent challenges and limitations with focusing on being not depleted; Understand why a focus on being wel...

74: How To Courage

16 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In today's episode, we will: Define courage -- unconventionally. And as a verb. Identify opportunities and obstacles to practicing courage. Hear a vu...

73: How To Feel Overwhelmed

26 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Must of us don't feel overwhelm, we think overwhelm. Learn the difference in today's episode, and why it matters.   You can find more info on the s...

72: Love On Your Terms

17 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join laura for a discussion about the importance of defining and making love for yourself.   You can find more info on the show notes page: www.laura...

71: Imposter Syndrome

29 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join laura for a discussion about what imposter syndrome is, how it uses and connects to oppression, and four strategies to heal it.   You can find m...

69: How To Take Up Space (Without Causing Harm)

29 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for a discussion about what we mean by 'taking up space,' why that's historically harmful, and 5 concrete whys/hows on learning...

68: Wholeness

17 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of wholeness as a noun and a verb.   You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.laur...

67: Decolonizing Desire

31 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer as she explains how learning to hear and validate our desire can be a practice of love and justice.   You can find a summary o...

66: Life-Changing Lessons

11 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer as she shares 5 personal lessons that changed her life.   You can find a summary of the episode on the show notes page: www.la...

65: Liberatory Consciousness (ft. Tanya Williams & Bari Katz)

29 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join guests Tanya Williams and Bari Katz for a discussion about making love and justice with and through a liberatory consciousness. Steeped in the wo...

How To Die: Final Episode

20 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join end-of-life doula, coach, and host laura brewer for an exploration of death, love, and justice. Welcome to a special series and set of critical d...

How To Die: Episode 5 (ft. Dr. BJ Miller)

16 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Dr. BJ Miller for a transformative conversation about grief. What it is, how it feels, the different shapes it takes, how to work with it,...

How To Die: Episode 4 (ft. Nora Menkin & Anna Swenson)

02 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Two minisodes in one! Join guests Nora Menkin & Anna Swenson for two in-depth conversations about death care: legal considerations, body disposition...

How To Die: Episode 3 (ft. Daisy Sharrock)

16 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Daisy Sharrock for a deeply personal, moving story about loss. And intimacy. This is a conversation about creating intimacy with death, an...

How To Die: Episode 2 (ft. Iana Sundari Malcolm)

04 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Iana Sundari for a powerful conversation about death and justice. Iana is a birth and death doula, and the Director of BIPOC Well-Being fo...

How To Die: Special Series

20 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Join end-of-life doula, coach, and host laura brewer for an exploration of death, love, and justice. Welcome to a special series and set of critical d...

58: Love & The Patriarchy

30 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of how our blueprints for how we love can get all twisted up in patriarchy and paternalism, without our even...

57: "For me it was like a calling…I learned to live in truth in myself." (ft. Randy Quarterman & Sarah Eisner)

27 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guests Randy Quarterman and Sarah Eisner to talk about ancestral healing, redress, and reparations to the descendants of American slavery. Randy ...

56: Self, Family, and Organizational Care During Election Week

27 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for discussion about practicing self, family, and organizational care during election week -- and how to prepare for it now.  ...

55: "Racism is harmful. Divisive white allyship is harmful too." (ft. Dr. David Campt)

20 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Dr. David Campt for a discussion on conversations between white progressives and white conservatives about racism in America. Dr. Campt is...

54: How To Be Awkward

29 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of how learning to be awkward can be an intentional practice of disrupting the oppressive status quo culture...

53: "Whatever it is, you're not the only one." (ft. Janine Kwoh)

17 Sep 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Janine Kwoh for a discussion about making love by embracing awkward. Janine is the owner and artist behind Kwohtations, a Brooklyn, NY-bas...

52: How To Disarm

27 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of the ways we armor up, and what it takes to disarm.   You can find a summary of the episode on the show n...

51: "We have a responsibility as leaders to ask the question: why is it that way?" (ft. Erica Jordan-Thomas)

18 Aug 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Erica Jordan-Thomas for a discussion about making love by leading on behalf of equity.    Find links to all of the resources from today's...

50: How To Feel Lost

30 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for a discussion about how to make self-compassion when we feel lost. Plus lots of the 'f' word.   You can find a summary of t...

49: "Moving money is my medicine." (ft. Edgar Villanueva)

23 Jul 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Edgar Villanueva for a discussion about making love and justice through the inner and systemic work of decolonization.   Find links to all...

48: How to Radicalize

30 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for a discussion about resisting the silence/shame binary when folks we love create harm -- plus -- a discussion about why and ...

47: "Do you love this person enough to be yourself & also change yourself?" (ft. Yolonda Coles Jones & Will Jones)

22 Jun 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join former guest Yolonda Coles Jones and her partner Will Jones for a frank discussion about making partnership, freedom, intimacy, conscious parent...

46: Inside-Out

27 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for a discussion about the importance of building BOTH an external and internal practice of justice, and the inside-out work in...

45: "We no longer walk in the world in a way that is boxed in." (ft. Stacey & Jasmine Johnson)

14 May 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guests and hosts of Black Zen – Stacey and Jasmine Johnson – for a discussion about making love and justice with meditation and mindfulness. ...

44: Practicing Peace

21 Apr 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for a discussion how sheltering place provides both challenges and opportunities to practice making peace with and inside ourse...

43: "You've gotta stop acting like you're not qualified to tell a story." (ft. Colin Seale)

31 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Colin Seale as we tackle imposter syndrome, authenticity, and making sure all kids get the learning experiences they deserve. Colin is the ...

42: How To Make Space

12 Mar 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for a discussion about the role that making space plays in learning to make love and justice. And: how to create it. You can ap...

41: "Give me the opportunity to see your world for a while." (ft. Jenna Ushkowitz)

27 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Jenna Ushkowitz as we dig into making belonging, identity, and worth. Jenna Ushkowitz is a Tony Award-winning producer, singer, actress, a...

40: Confusion > Certainty

20 Feb 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of the ways in which 'certainty' can be toxic for our spirits and our practice of justice. And why confusion...

39: "We imagine that by desiring money, we are causing harm." (ft. Jessie Susannah Karnatz)

30 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Jessie Susannah Karnatz, the Money Witch, as we tackle all things money and how to build a responsible relationship with it in the context ...

38: Justice and Liberation

22 Jan 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of the differences between 'justice' and 'liberation,' why those differences matter, and how each is incompl...

37: "Looking for the invisible takes extra effort." (ft. Rina Deshpande)

26 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Rina Deshpande as we take on learning to become more aware of cultural appropriation in our physical and spiritual practices. Rina is a wr...

36: How To Make Anger (ft. a cameo by Lama Rod Owens)

17 Dec 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of the cultural mythology surrounding anger, and how that mythology keeps us in cahoots with white supremacy...

35: "Pleasure is at the heart of understanding that we are free & understanding how to get free." (ft. adrienne maree brown)

26 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest adrienne maree brown for a conversation about learning to make pleasure, science fiction, and freedom. And how they're all tied together. a...

34: Revise Your Sentence

12 Nov 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for a discussion about your Sentence: what it is, how it functions, how it messes us up in our practice of justice, and why exa...

33: "Don't ignore the things that won't let you go." (ft. Jovian Zayne)

29 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Jovian Zayne for a discussion all about BEing on purpose. And: how to find or refine your own personal purpose. Jovian is the founder of th...

32: Imagination As Resistance

17 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join host laura brewer for an exploration of imagination, why it's essential for the work of liberation, why that's a problem for most of us, and what...

31: "Curiosity & judgement can't occupy the same space." (ft. Emilee and Rob McGowan)

10 Oct 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join guests Emilee and Rob McGowan for a discussion about loss, tragedy, and creating intimacy and partnership – especially when it's lacking. Rob &...

30: How To Bear Witness

19 Sep 2019

Contributed by Lukas

What does it mean to 'bear witness,' why is bearing witness important for the work of solidarity and justice, and how do you do it? Join host laura br...

29: "Creativity is the antidote to destruction." (ft. Climbing PoeTree)

28 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join guests Alixa Garcia and Naima Penniman of Climbing PoeTree for a discussion about making love by BEing love, justice, and liberation. Climbing Po...

28: "To create something about love, I have to create it from love." (ft. laura brewer)

27 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

In a special 1 year anniversary mini-episode, the tables get turned on laura brewer, who sits in the hot seat to be interviewed about making love.  ...

27: "I'm reaching deeper, to the love that grief & rage grow out of." (ft. Dr. Katharine Wilkinson)

26 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join author & TED speaker Dr. Katharine Wilkinson for a discussion about how take care of and love our burning planet. And how to feel and tend to gr...

26: How to Retreat

16 Aug 2019

Contributed by Lukas

There's retreating to escape the work of justice, and retreating to better be in the work of justice. Join host laura brewer for discussion about how ...

25: "Organizing at the speed of love." (ft. Ai-jen Poo)

25 Jul 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join organizer & TED speaker Ai-jen Poo for a discussion about how to think and operate like an organizer in your day-to-day life, and how to actively...

24: How To Be Wounded

20 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

The root of the word vulnerability is "vulnus," meaning "to be wounded." Join host laura brewer for discussion about what radical vulnerability entail...

23: "Sex positivity is a philosophy and movement towards acceptance." (ft. Dr. Shannon Chavez)

06 Jun 2019

Contributed by Lukas

Join guest Dr. Shannon Chavez for a discussion of making love through creating sex positivity. Dr. Chavez is a sex therapist and a clinical psycholog...