Hump Day with Swanny & Friends

Mobility scooters + Maths Science

11 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Well back from his work trip with his 6 other mates, Ralphy explains how his time in Vegas was slightly different to Dane's many visits.It is usually ...

And then there were 2 + Maths Science

03 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ralphy is away....but you usually cant hear him anyway.Samantha and Dane weren't going to let you down just because Ralphy wanted to take his kids to ...

Its nice to get out and have my fill of men

26 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It was our 5 year anniversary of being cancelled today and it was like Dane was trying to take us to the edge once again... Samantha's first show back...

AFL Season 2024 Maths Science - Round 16

26 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you're new here, in this episode we talk some nonsense, address some important questions sent in by our listeners before breaking down each game of...

Hall of Fame Dane and Mick Malthouse

18 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Samantha has been managed for yet another week, purely to make way for one of the biggest guests, we have had on.We would like to think it has been ou...

Still not in Collingwood's Hall of Fame + Maths Science

18 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Well! Incase you missed it on the Telly, (he's quite funny isn't he!) here is part one with how it all unfolded. As usual we get to your listener ques...

"How I met Dusty" & guest friend Marko Allen, returns

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

As the title suggests Marko Allen joined us once again to lift our standards amidst rumours Samantha is returning next week. We will believe that when...

"Melbourne fans have no class" + Maths Science round 14

13 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dane tells Ralphy who he really is, we unpack some listener questions and get to talking about round 14. Ralphy gives his best and no its not an elabo...

Dane's Top 19 Players of the Top 20 Players of the Past 20 years, Guest Friend ABC's Ben Cameron, and Dane talks Hotel Buffets on the road

04 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Aaaand we're back. Guest friend this week is Ben Cameron from the ABC. Ben works on ABC radio each week with Mick Malthouse and has a theory to put to...

Would Dane coach in Tassie? And Maths Science.

04 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dane has come in croaky AF today. Self inflicted? Maybe in part. Swan FC have had another win and Ralphy wants to know what has caused this turn aroun...

Guest Friend - Russell Robertson

29 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We fear he may never show, traffic in Melbourne, is diabolical, as we know. However, he is a great man, with great stories and happens to be supportin...

Dane responds to Rooey Rat Pack rip & Maths Science - Round 12

29 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Sam believes that being up all night chest feeding and still wearing nappies herself is good enough reason to not turn up again. Who knows when she wi...

I thought I Was Gonna Lose a Kidney! Spot-Betting, and AFL Maths Science.

22 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Well this has gone pear-shaped. A guest has been a no show, what a mess. Can Dane and Ralphy recover? Only one way to find out.But the pod gets off to...

Guest Friend David Rhys-Jones: 'When I Knew I Was Done' & 'Robert Walls Was Brutal'

15 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Guest friend this week is the legendary David Rhys-Jones, always a good chinwag. Aside from a catchup telling old footy stories, David is raising awar...

Dane Gets Turned On Watching Baby Reindeer & Maths Science: 'Playing the Tigers is Like a Bye'

15 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Big show today with some Maths Science to crunch shortly. But first things first. We get an update on the Tom Brady roast, which both Dane and Ralphy ...

Roasts, The Return of Richo, and Dane Comments on Scott Pendlebury's Schlong

08 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Guest friend today is Jason Richardson and after Ralphy's horror last week at watching episode 4 of Baby Reindeer, as you'd expect on a footy focused ...

Dane: 'If the Dogs Don't Beat Richmond, Bevo Won't Make it to Monday'. And Round 9 Maths Science.

08 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

With Sam having had her beautiful baby, but being a lazy-arse and not coming back yet, we've roped in Jason Richardson to help us with a bit of Maths ...

Never Mind the Draw. Baby Reindeer WTF! And Will Sam Wicks get 'Hopoated' This Week?

01 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Big show today. Dane and Ralphy chat extra time in the AFL. Should it come in or not? There is vigorous disagreement and one of the boys calls the oth...

Dane: 'Collingwood are Miles off at the Moment'. AFL Maths Science for Round 8.

30 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Back with some more Maths Science to pick the lines and some of the boys best bets of the week, but before we get to that, Ralphy has read a Robbo art...

Guest Friend Dr Peter Larkins. Dane: 'I Played Footy as a Kid, Cos Online Porn Didn't Exist'

24 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A cracking guest friend today, the highly respect Dr Peter Larkins joins us and we find out how he got his start in the media, and the extraordinary s...

Dane: 'Unfortunately I Don’t Produce Milk' & AFL Round 7 Maths Science

24 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

AFL Maths Science is back this week for Round 7, and before we get to it Dane expresses his displeasure with Josh Rachele 'fucking' his multi last wee...

Guest Friend: Kate McCarthy; Swanny says 'There's No Way Mick Malthouse Could Coach Today'

17 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Kate McCarthy, former AFLW player and current Triple M Footy commentator is our guest friend today, and Swanny wants to know what the hell he has to d...

AFL 2024 Round 6 Maths Science, Swanny says 'Luke Hodge Has No Idea'

17 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Round 6 of the AFL Season and Swanny & Ralphy are guessing lines, giving tips, ripping the piss and generally being unprofessional. Swanny talks a...

Swanny: 'Essendon Are Such a Low Team' & Guest Friend Corbin Middlemas: "What the AFL have gotten wrong"

10 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

A great pod today, with guest friend Corbin Middlemas, ABC radio superstar. But first we get the rundown from Dane on the big boxing match, what did h...

AFL 2024 Round 5 - Maths Science

10 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Round 5 of the AFL Season and this week Swanny and Ralphy guess the lines, give their tips, and generally talk shit. They each give their best tip of ...

Live from Adelaide with Dane the Boxer

02 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Online this week as Dane continues giving back around the ....Well, in Adelaide as thats where Gather Round is and he can sniff out an envelope or 6 w...

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t relevant

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Caroline Wilson got a lot of air time on this weeks pod, Dane even called Ralphy the male Carro. Perhaps we should get her on?!We hear some little sou...

AFL Season 2024 Maths Science - Round 3

27 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It is Round 3 of the AFL Premiership season & this week for a little bit of fun the lads had to guess what they thought the line would be for each...

Guest Friend - Jack Watts

20 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hear how Jack's Mum walked in on Nic Naitanuii and while we didnt think we'd take that turn, we were relieved we did when some of the other topics cov...

AFL Season 2024 Maths Science - Round 2

20 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Yes, this one does look long for a Maths Science Episode but thats because we don't forget about the people.You come first so we open the show with a ...

The hard hitting topics of Listener questions

13 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this weeks episode of "Listener questions" our catch phrase was "Anything can happen"We covered everything from Racing in the 80s to Boxing is a da...

Season 2024 preview Maths Science with Heath Shaw

12 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We came out the gates strong this year, Heath came in! Here's a list of what we chatted about...Mummy V CoxMick's individual dossiers - "the spray boo...

Opening Round - AFL Season 2024 Maths Science

06 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Whell, here we are! Back for another go on the merry-go-round and much to Dane's surprise its actual footy starting this weekend, in Opening round. Hi...

How sincere do you think that apology was?

06 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Look there was another name we really wanted to call this episode (And you'll find out inside) but we value the fact that somehow we are still on air ...

Dane's cooking show update and listener questions

28 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Incase you don't know, Dane has stepped outside his comfort zone and now hosts a cooking show! We got an up date before trudging through the wonderful...

He was just being a good friend

27 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dane is back so, so are we! He comes in fine form, says what Collingwood can't, shares his opinion on culture and its relevance and gives us a list of...

A year in review

20 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well just like our season, its a long one, filled with all our best bits! From Lists to uncensored Urban Dictionary to Dane's insightful one liners. T...

I'm all out of Milk!

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Here is a little bit on not much for your drive to work, or home from...or whenever you indulge in shit talk with Swanny and Friends. Dane flew Jetsta...

Guest Friend - Gideon Haigh

29 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's guest is independent journalist, Gideon Haigh, who through his love of Cricket, writes a lot about it! From books to columns, from Sport to Tr...

Chef Dane

21 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's guest was none other than celebrity food critic Dane Swan! Unbelievably Dane has finally landed his own TV show, he tells us all about it at t...

Guest Friend - Sergio Paradise

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Meeting Steve Marshall, more affectionately known as Sergio Paradise for the first time, Samantha was unsure how this respectable man from the Media o...

Why are you so needy?

15 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Towards the end I think Samantha forgot where she was saying something along the line of "this is the most random shit talking we've ever done"...it i...

Medicinal Cocaine

01 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Whell, we would ask if you missed us, but we all know the answer to that! Dane gave us an honest answer to start the show of so we are officially back...

We did one to prove Dane is alive

02 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

After the weekend that was, we thought we should organise a welfare check on our dear Dane. We knew it was in his best interests to not miss his fligh...

Guest Friend - Tom Morris

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

He wanted to return to the media and well, I'm not sure we were the professionals he was hoping to surround himself with again.A cancel culture soul m...

Why we didn't do a pod last week.

27 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We thought we owed it to the listeners to explain how Dane cancelled on his own podcast plans and left you the people with out a show to listen to. In...

Guest Friend - Neil Balme

13 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's guest has had an illustrious career in Footy over the last 50 years, post his own, there aren't many clubs or player that he hasn't played apa...

Listener questions + Maths Science Finals wk2

13 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With only 2 games this week we thankfully had some time to get to a back log of listener questions! You guys always provide the goods.Our very own dua...

Guest Friend - Lynden Dunn

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With week 1 of the finals serving up Dees Vs Pies we thought we'd get a guest in who has worn both jumpers.Lynden Dunn gave up his Wednesday morning t...

Maths Science - Finals Week 1 & Ralphy's Spring stable

06 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Footy's back! And finals are upon us. What a fabulous weekend of footy in Melbourne and we kick off with a cracker of a match up.Before we got in to t...

Guest Friend - Champion Data's Daniel Hoyne

30 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Never has Samantha been more nervous about a guest coming on and not to be mistaken for excitement, lets be clear. But Ralph assured her that Daniel H...

That's not a face washer

30 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

News flash (to samantha only really) Pre Finals bye round is upon us so no Maths Science this week, instead we covered such as should Samantha jump on...

Guest Friend - Brett Deledio

23 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Brett Deledio of the Richmond & GWS Footy clubs talked us through his journey from Country footy to Number 1 draft pick with 240 odd games on the ...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 24

23 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's the final round of the Home and Away season for the AFL, Round 24 and before we get into the nitty gritty, we thought we'd talk some shit.You luc...

I'm a DILF

16 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week's listener questions really showcased Dane's inner thoughts!He has made a decision that he will attend Mad Monday with "his" club The Pines ...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 23

15 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Back in the same room again for some insight on Round 23. Dane assures us there is nothing to worry about with the Pies and there are a few point to p...

Guest Friend - Mike Sheahan

02 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today's guest knows all to well the risks of Podcasting with Famous Footballers yet here he is, It's Kate Sheahan's Dad, the Brilliant Mike Sheahan.We...

Do meth labs use gas? + Maths Science Round 21

02 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

One big episode of our usual shenanigans with some Match analysis stirred in for a bit of balance.From Meth to Movies to Maths. Wowee, what other podc...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 20

27 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This week we are online and you wanted the volume cranked! So enjoy the subtle hints of a baby, bottle feeding in Dane's arms and the not so subtle pr...

I hope Nick Daicos gets suspended

20 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ah, the sensible voice of reason has returned to once again, guide our ship, and, she stands firmly with Dane, showing grave concern Ralphy & his ...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 19

20 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Round 19 of the AFL Premiership is upon us and Samantha is back in the drivers seat. She went to Europe incase you missed it.We unpack each game. Will...

Guest Friend - MarkoAllen

13 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

He's back! Former Pro Golfer turned Media guy Marko Allen has graciously agreed to return to the pod! This time, not in Samantha's makeshift apartment...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 18

13 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Round 18 is upon us, still down the third wheel but Dane is in fine form so who really needs her! (Me, its me uploading from Malta, remotely again so ...

Guest Friend - Sonja Hood

06 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When a distressed Dane still hadn't received his North Melbourne membership, his people (Ralphy) took it upon himself to reach out to their people. He...

Split me down the middle and Maths Science Round 17

05 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ciao! It is Samantha uploading from Cinque Terra, Italy. Dangerously/stupidly/recklessly, without "proof listening" to this, so anything could be on h...

Fev left me stranded

20 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well, with Samantha away, any thing could have happened! In fact, Hi, its me, Samantha, uploading from a layover in Bangkok airport with out listening...

Lunchies, Brunchies and Scrunchies

14 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Back together all in the same room, shooting the shit, taking the piss out of Samantha and chatting some footy. How Good!Dane is left concerned for th...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 14

13 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We are back in studio! All together! How Good.Dane is almost considered FIFO the way he commits to this podcast for the people.Here is our take on Rou...

Guest Friend - Terry Daniher

07 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

With one of the biggest events on the Footy calendar fast approaching we were grateful that Terry Daniher made time to pop in for a chat.The Big Freez...

Hyper Bowl Plus Maths Science!

07 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Remember to always make responsible gambling decisions.Dane is away for something different so we bought you this half from Kooyong our normal home an...

I look like sideshow Bob

31 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It has been a big week of apologies in Footy, however we stand by the credence that one should only apologise for something they feel they did wrong o...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 12

31 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Hello and welcome to Bye round! The first of a few, other wise known as Round 12. With some strong passionate stands on a few games, some see Dane and...

Legs don't get as cold as arms

17 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Wedding etiquette, scientific papers on leg & arm and coldness and placentas...It's a different episode but really, it is just the same...a whole ...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 10

17 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's round 10 and unlike the Eagles, we will be better this week. There is a smell in the air over a few games and its got nothing to do with what Ral...

I've walked so they can run

10 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today was a good variety of all the things we talk sense about nonsensical topics. Samantha gave the hard truth that Collingwood football players from...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 9

10 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well it's round 9 and this isn't just your standard Maths Science chat, Ralphy, Sam and Dane got into it on the topic of does one person win a game or...

I'm a neutral unbiased, bias supporter + Maths Science Round 8

03 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Dane FC is on the road so we go online.Today's episode is a combined shit talk, listener questions & Maths Science you lucky ducks!We covered all ...

Pies did it for Ron

26 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We opened the show today with a bit of Porn chat and Samantha, fell in a hole. It was classic Swanny & Friends before deep diving into an ANZAC cl...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 7

26 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As well as our regular thoughts on the upcoming games for round 7 of the AFL Premiership season, today we added a bit of impromptu banter around on Fr...

I've only got two highlights

19 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Dane popped over to the home of the Festival of Footy this weekend and gave us a run down of the only important game, his. The Topic of Gwyneth Paltro...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 6

19 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well, It doesn't happen often but we had to start again...the Censorship Police stepped in, rightfully so & suggested we go again from the top, mi...

Guest Friend - Chris Johnson

12 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

3 time Brisbane Premiership champ and all round nice guy Chris Johnson dropped by for a yarn!We talked everyone from "Mud guts" Martin Pike and the an...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 5

12 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Gather around for our Gather Round episode of Maths Science! Before we get to Maths Science, Ralphy addresses the peoples burning questions and Dane t...

I was too tired to argue with umpires

04 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Due to Dane's work travel commitments we had to be online on a Tuesday again, meaning we only have Samantha's button pushing skills.With the biggest s...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 4

04 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

George Constanza & Friends last week saw raining green ticks, so, the boys are back to try and back it up.Ralphy & Dane's take on Round 4 of t...

Dane Swan paid up North

31 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As mentioned in part 2, which came out first, due to moving recording online, Samantha had to babysit her kid this week. He does dominate the audio fo...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 3

28 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Yes that is Noah in the background in the first minute, yes he was asked to leave as he is under age and we practice responsible gambling.And on respo...

BONUS! Divorce advice and listener questions

23 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We had a back log of listener questions to get through this week so we gave them their own episode!Lucky you. There is also some footy chat where shot...

Some people like an igloo

22 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ralphy had the old Covid but we wouldn't let illness get in the way of an average show so here we are, online!In this episode, Dane gives 2 apologies....

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 2

21 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Maths Science for round 2 is here, Ralph was of to a flyer, Dane like a handful of clubs slow out of the blocks but one this is for sure, Danes opinio...

The towel gets me

16 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In a bonus pod of shit talking, A disheveled Dane dissected the De Goey double pager in the Herald on Wednesday morning, featuring his dog.He was intr...

AFL Season 2023 Maths Science - Round 1

14 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It is here! Round 1 of the AFL Premiership season and all teams except Essendon are publicly said to be flying out of pre season so round 1 will sort ...

Dirty Snowball

08 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

This weeks part 2 is recorded 1st and is a brief look at Swanny's take on every thing from the AFL pre season to Ja Morant doing one better on Ginniva...

Season 2023 Maths Science Preview with Heath Shaw

08 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

As round 1 of the 2023 AFL Premiership season creeps up on us, we brought in the big guns to preview the season ahead and give you our take on the Mat...

Igloos and Maths Science

01 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Whell, this takes shit talking to a whole new level. Gambling is not the only thing we encourage you to do responsibly!Get it in your ears...not your ...

Guest Friend - Candice Wyatt

28 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Birds of a feather...Guest Friend Candice Wyatt hobbled on in with her life threatening foot injury today to waste some time talking about things like...

Another Jack Ginnivan hot take coz everyone else did

24 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

We thought we'd follow the masses and join the Jack Ginnivan chat, albiet a slightly different take.Of course we chatted through wildly inappropriate ...

Guest Friend - Anthony Koutoufides

24 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A wonderful way to wrap up our week with legend Blue Bagger of the 90's Kouta!His passionate and incredible footy memory, ran us through what it was l...

Guest Friend - Dermott Brereton

15 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Well we started our day with an hour or so full of full belly laughs, and now you can too.Dermott Brereton came in for a chat about himself and many o...

Dane's first week on the Job + Maths Science

14 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A quick part 2 that was recorded first. Enjoy Samantha's last ever list.Because her indecisiveness leads to her to be wildly unsuited to the task, reg...