#246: How To Stop Impulse Spending (Without Shame or Deprivation)
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What does a typical impulse spending moment feel like and why shouldn't you shame yourself for it?
The glass door slid open and before my feet even hit the floor, I was already saying the same thing in my head. I will not spend money. I will not spend money. I will not spend the money. I was with two of my best friends and we had stopped by Ulta, the beauty store. I wasn't there to shop though. They were. I didn't need anything. I truly believed I could walk in, stand there politely, and just walk right back out without buying a thing. But then I passed the nail polish. then the eyeshadow, and one thing turned into another, and a few minutes later, I was standing at the checkout counter with that familiar knot in my stomach. I was excited about what I was buying, but I also felt guilty at the same time.
Nobody around me knew what was happening in my head. To them, it just looked like a normal shopping trip. If you've ever walked out of a store, closed Amazon, or shut your laptop and thought, why did I just do that? I want you to know you're not broken. You're human. Hey there, this is Alison Baggerly and welcome to the Inspire Budget Podcast where we talk all about budgeting, debt, and saving money. Now, before we talk about impulse spending, we need to clear something up. Spending money isn't good and spending money isn't bad. It is neutral. For a long time, impulse spending created so much guilt for me that I felt tense anytime I had to swipe my card. even for the things I planned for, even for necessities.
And that's not a healthy place to live. You're going to spend money for the rest of your life. So the goal isn't to stop spending money. The goal is to stop letting spending be driven by emotion and shame. Because shame doesn't fix impulse spending. In fact, it does the opposite. Shame usually makes impulse spending stronger. Impulse spending isn't about liking nice things or being bad with money. It's unplanned spending that is meant to change how you feel in the moment. It shows up when you're stressed, when you're bored, when you want to celebrate something good, when you're feeling behind, when you're scrolling your phone hours on end and constantly comparing your life to someone else's. Spending money, even impulsively, gives a quick sense of relief, a distraction, a little hit of excitement and dopamine.
But once that feeling fades, you're left with the purchase and nothing. if you're anything like me, usually a little bit of regret. That's why willpower alone rarely works here. This isn't about discipline. It's about awareness. One of my personal biggest impulse spending patterns always showed up late at night, and it still does. I remember years ago, everyone in the house was asleep. I was up late working on my business inspired budget. At the time, I was still teaching full time while trying to get an online business off the ground. My to-do list felt like it was never ending. So in those late nights when everyone else was asleep, I would open up Amazon and immediately I could feel my body relax. I
I would scroll. I would find things I liked. I'd add them to my cart and check out. And for a few minutes, I felt better. But shopping did not fix my stress. It just distracted me from it. If you struggle with impulse spending, there are patterns there too. I want you to ask yourself, when does it usually happen? Where are you when it happens? What are you feeling right before you spend? And what are you feeling right after? This isn't about blaming yourself or beating yourself up. It's about noticing what's actually going on. Patterns in your spending are not failure. They're just information. And we can use that information to make changes with our spending. Let me give you an example of how I personally noticed patterns in my impulse spending years ago.
So back in 2019, we moved into this new house and I cannot tell you when I walked into this house, I just knew I fell in love. I don't know if you can fall in love with a house, but I did. I fell in love with a house. When we moved in, I wanted this place to feel perfect. I wanted it to be comfortable and safe and cozy.
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