What Irish people are REALLY confessing in sex therapy
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What do Irish people actually bring to a sex‑therapy session?
On the latest episode of Real Health with me, Carl Henry, I'm delighted to be joined by Brendan Kelly, who tells us how to break up with our phones.
The first thing is we shouldn't try to have a complete divorce from our phones. We need our phones. We shouldn't completely demonize the things. When you make that realization, then you start to take smaller steps to limit how much it intrudes moment to moment. There are very few of us who need to be connected moment to moment. Like, I really don't.
As ever, it's available on all podcast platforms.
This is an Irish independent production.
Irish men are amazing at being descriptive. It's like a game of charades or Cluedo, whereas women talk about their bodies as if it is some kind of secret garden.
Sex may be everywhere, but talking honestly about our own sex lives and asking for help when we need it, that's another matter. So what are Irish people actually bringing into the sex therapy room? Thankfully, Orla Reid, a psychotherapist specializing in clinical sexology, is here to share what she sees in her online practice. I'm Jennifer Zamparelli, and this is Just Between Us. So before things heat up, a little love for our sponsor, Kildare Village. We're all for sparks flying when the curtains are closed. But your luck, it's no harm to take yourself out for a bit of excitement too. With over 100 boutiques, including 60 you won't find anywhere else in Ireland, a visit to Kildare Village is shopping that's so Irish.
You're very welcome. Thank you. Brand new to the pod. I am, yes. Thrilled to be here. Great topic as well. Yes, it is a great topic and you're the one to talk about it. Can I ask you, how did you get into doing what you're doing?
It wasn't, I didn't leave secondary school and think I wanted to be a sex therapist, but I loved problem pages. I was never into fashion, never into design. I was really... On the periphery, I was never the cool kid. I was always the quiet kid, but I would inhale the problem pages.
Really? I just loved
them. I can't bear to read them now, but I used to love problem pages. I'm just really interested in people's inner world. And then as I got through my training, I loved attachment. I love... Intimacy, I find the concept of intimacy fascinating, chemistry, the private side for ourselves, the part of ourselves that we feel hidden and that we hide and that kind of Exploring intimacy brought me into the world of psychosexual therapy and then on into sexology.
And then it's huge. It's funny because when you say intimacy, it's not synonymous with Irish people. I don't know if that's a fair statement to make, but do you know what I mean? I do find that we have, well, we have had a huge problem with being intimate and communication and talking about this kind of thing for such a long time. Have we gotten any better?
How did Orlagh Reid become a clinical sexologist and what draws her to intimacy work?
I think we've gotten better. What I notice about clients when they come in, they don't have a clue really what I'm talking about. They think of an intimate moment. But when I'm talking to them, I say, because we're working online, we use lots of visuals. I talk to them about it. Like imagine a long intimacy spectrum. At the start, you probably never even talked before. Eye contact, standing close together, hand holding. And as you move up that spectrum, you're getting to maybe something more intimate. Intimate, more romantic, more sexual, more erotic to like sex acts and
everything.
So I try to get people to think of it in terms of that. It's the connection and different types of connections and behaviours. Irish people, I don't know. I mean, I definitely think we're getting good. Women are amazing at it. And we're often more intimate with our female friends than we would be with our partners. And I suppose the thing about intimacy is you can only really meet somebody at the level at which they're ready to meet you, if that makes sense.
So what do people actually talk about when they come to you for sex therapy?
Well, I specialize in sexology. So sexology is the whole field of sexual behavior. And the way I describe it is think of biology, physiology, genetics.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What do Irish people actually bring to a sex‑therapy session?
0:00–3:08
2
How did Orlagh Reid become a clinical sexologist and what draws her to intimacy work?
3:08–8:40
3
Why do many Irish clients wait decades before seeking sex therapy?
8:40–12:06
4
What is the “intimacy spectrum” and how does it help clients describe their needs?
12:06–14:16
5
How are referrals to sex therapy typically made in Ireland?
14:16–17:09
6
What impact does online therapy have on accessibility and comfort for Irish clients?
17:09–26:27
7
How does porn consumption affect sexual health and therapy outcomes?
26:27–36:35
8
What advice does Orlagh give for couples trying to conceive without losing intimacy?
36:35–46:12