We're getting into my three favorite girls Meryl Streep, Trisha Paytas and Robby Hoffman and my three least favorite men Justin B*ldoni, El*n M*sk and you'll have to wait and listen for the last enjoy!!!!!Sponsors:The Knot: Let The Knot be your partner in all things wedding planning. Get started at theknot.com/audio.Arya: VISIT arya.fyi AND USE CODE GABBYWINDEY for 15% off today!Bellesa: FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to my giveaway with Bellesa wins something! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/longwinded-podcast Quince: Go to Quince.com/gabbywindey for free shipping on your order and 365-day returnsPlease note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Full Episode
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Wait a second, I have some, I have some, I have some, let me turn myself up. Hello. Okay. I have some things to do. Okay. Right at the top of the hour. I have some things to do and I have a lot to say what's new. First of all, I'm recording this on Saturday at seven in the morning because I have somewhere to be. Imagine that.
I have something to do besides all of you. Yeah, I might have a lot to say, but also I'm in a contract. I don't want to be here. I'll be hit. I'll be served. I'll be given some kind of lethal paperwork that's going to want money from me. Who doesn't want money from me? So no, I have to come here and deliver week after week. Imagine the pressure. Imagine how I feel.
It's too much to bear right on my head. It's going to squish my skull into a pancake. If you don't do it first. But anyways, so good morning. Here's my coffee mug. I don't know if you guys have seen this one. It's Girls Weekend Toes in the Sand. Isn't that nice? I got it on our first trip to the Hamptons. It's four girls. This, which one's me? This one's me in the yellow.
Here, a nice little leg cross, red hair. I've always said I wanted to dye my hair red. Maybe when I'm going through a midlife crisis because that's when people dye their hair red. And then this one's Robbie, the one in the shorts and the little hat. And then this one and this one. This one's Rosie O'Donnell. And this one's Sylvia Plath. And those are our lesbian couple friends, but they're new.
They just started fucking. They just started. Slipped a finger in, if you know what I mean, because that's fucking in lesbian culture and that's the way we like it. Because in that singular finger, you'll feel more intimacy, more love and emotion than you've ever felt with that flaccid little anteater coming at your belly button. They're new, so it's sweet.
Oh, because I'm getting on a flight to Portugal, okay? And Robbie's coming with me because she's the love of my life. And I get a plus one and I don't like to go anywhere without her, okay? She's a grounding force. She makes all of the whelming of life. She makes all of the overwhelming of life just whelming. She helps me to handle. Can you imagine?
And welcome back to another episode of Long Wander. Okay, shall we? Shall we? Naturally, I'll talk about the discourse. Is Gabby okay? I know her shtick is depression and she talks about it, but genuinely, has anyone checked on her? Yeah. Yeah, everyone. Are you blind? Have you heard nothing? Are your ears plugged?
Are those three little bones in your brain not so reverberating on the correct frequency to understand that I'm okay? Yes, of course I'm okay. I'm too good in fact. I'm too good. Now I don't know what to do with myself. Am I going to be able to create art now that I am somewhat for the first time in my life at some kind of level of contentment? Is that okay with you?
Because it's a scary place to me. What do you mean? Is she okay? And of course I'm not okay. Are we treading on the same planet? Do you know capitalism? It's ruining our lives. Do you know, faschism, it's coming to get us. Not so slow. It's coming to get us in a flat bill and ugly sunglasses, probably Oakley, and a chainsaw on stage at some kind of a conference. Are you kidding?
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