Love Over Addiction

Cookies in the Freezer: Little Joys for Big Holidays

26 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In this deeply personal episode, Michelle shares intimate insights and compassionate strategies, for navaigateing family dynamics during the holidays ...

What Happens After We Leave

26 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

We lay in bed at night and dream about what life would be like if we left the ones we desperately love who struggle with addiction. What would living ...

Three Ways Addiction Makes Us Feel Like It's Our Fault

19 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When we love someone suffering from addiction, we can often get into the bad habit of blaming ourselves for their poor behavior. Addiction is manipula...

A Well Designed Happy Life With or Without Them

12 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

How would it feel if I said we need to live a life that isn't dependent on our loved one's sobriety? And if we can create that kind of life, we can ha...

What To Do With The Kids If Our Partner Is Drinking or Using Drugs

05 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Knowing what to do when our loved one starts drinking or using drugs around the children can be difficult. Here's one helpful tip: We don't need to st...

Should We Leave?

28 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

"Should I leave my partner?" What a big question. And let's be honest, it's a question that many women in this community have. Let's first start off b...

If We Struggle With Codependency

21 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Change is necessary if we want to move forward. Some of us enjoy changing, and others will avoid making the changes we know we need to because we're...

What To Do When We Feel Overwhelmed

14 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When I was married to a good man who suffered from addiction, I was terrified of leaving him. I thought about leaving all the time; I think part of me...

The Truth About Trusting Them

07 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When our loved ones who struggle with addiction choose to go to rehab or get help, it can bring up all sorts of feelings. We might feel hopeful that m...

How To Detach From Our Partner

31 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

If you're familiar with the world of addiction or codependency, you've probably heard the word "detach". But, like many "self-help" words, it can be v...

What To Do When They Start Getting Mean

24 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

One of the core beliefs we have at Love Over Addiction is that addiction is a third party in our relationships. We view addiction as a separate entity...

What's the Difference Between Good Boundaries & Poor Boundaries?

17 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Having good, healthy boundaries in place versus poor, unrealistic boundaries can make all the difference in our personal, spiritual, and physical live...

How to Really Surrender Control

01 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

The word surrender is used a lot in the world of addiction. One of the things that always bothered me was that I was constantly being told that I nee...

Why We Keep Going Back to Them

23 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Do you ever wonder: "Why do I keep going back to someone who hurts me so much?" There are many reasons we stay, but today, I'm going to be vulnerable ...

3 Reasons We Don't Talk About Loving Someone Suffering with Addiction

16 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Your loved one might seem put together on the outside. Most men and women who drink too much or suffer from substance abuse disorder hold good jobs an...

Valentines Day AND Super Bowl Sunday? Ugh.

09 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

It's almost time for Valentine's Day and Super Bowl Sunday (in America). One holiday can leave us feeling disappointed and unloved, wondering, "Why ...

Normal Relationship Advice Does Not Apply To Us

02 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Let's be honest, not many people know what to do with our feelings of deep loneliness or constant anxiety when it comes to our relationships. And very...

3 Ways You Might Be Codependent

26 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Being codependent can go hand in hand with loving someone suffering from addiction. Like two magnets attracted to one another, we connect with our par...

Why It's So Hard To Love Someone Suffering With Addiction

07 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

And addiction happens to really good people. I truly, truly believe that. I always said my ex-husband is one of the most talented human beings I've ev...

Should We Throw Away Their Substances

29 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When we love somone suffering from addiction, it can be hard to know if we should throw away their drugs, alcohol, or get rid of their pornography.  ...

3 Common Mistakes We Make During An Argument With Our Partner

22 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone suffering from addiction, everything about your relationship is different. Arguemnts can be very challenging to navigate. Today ...

How to Get Back to Being Yourself

11 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Today, let's dive into something deep—finding our way back to ourselves. You ever look in the mirror and wonder where that old you went? Yeah, it hi...

I Was Losing Myself

21 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When I was married to a good man who suffered from addiction, I made a list of things I could control vs. things that I needed to let go of becaus...

Why Do We Feel Depressed Around the Holidays?

16 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Michelle talks about how difficult the winter holidays can feel when loving someone struggling with addiction, the top five things people like us worr...

Narcissism, Abuse, and the Progression of Addiction

03 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Is It Possible To Build Back Trust?

27 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Whether your loved one suffers from addiction or not, having trust in your relationship is essential. Right? Because without it, you'll most likely st...

He Went To 5 Rehabs In 22 Years

20 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When your loved one who struggles with addiction has been in and out of rehab for 22 years, at what point do you say, 'enough is enough?' Because hone...

Her Trauma Bond Kept Her From Leaving

13 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When you think about the relationship with your partner who struggles with addiction, have there been times you've questioned yourself about why you'v...

Does An Alcoholic Have To Drink Every Day?

06 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When you think of someone struggling with alcoholism (or any addiction), you probably feel that they must drink every day, right? But as you'll hear i...

Spiraling And Spinning Out Of Control? You're Not Alone.

27 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Loving someone with addiction can sometimes make you feel like you're spinning out of control, can't it? One moment you're feeling joy and hope, only ...

He Won't Stop Drinking

20 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Has your loved one flat out refused to stop drinking (or whatever their substance of choice is) no matter how many times you've begged and pleaded? An...

Interview: Dating After Leaving Someone With Addiction

13 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you've moved on from your relationship with someone who struggles with addiction (or have been thinking about it), have you wondered what 'life aft...

Does Your Relationship Show Signs Of Abuse? You Might Be Surprised.

06 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you've been tuning in for the last several episodes, you've heard me covering some clues that you may be ready to consider leaving your relationshi...

What If They Get Better After You Leave?

30 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

If you've gone back and forth on possibly leaving your loved one who struggles with addiction, what's holding you back from doing so? If one of the re...

3 Clues It May Be Time To Consider Leaving

23 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Has the thought ever crossed your mind about whether you should stay or leave your relationship?  And maybe just the thought of leaving your loved on...

Interview: He Used His Child To Manipulate Me

16 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt like you're on a rollercoaster ride because of your loved one's addiction? Lots of ups and downs and uncertainty of what's ahead. S...

Interview: He Was A High-Functioning Alcoholic

09 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wondered whether your loved one's drinking is really 'that bad?' When you love someone who is a high-functioning alcoholic, it can be ea...

Interview: Breaking The Cycle of Codependency For Her Daughters

02 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

For many of us, codependency is something we've dealt with for a long time. But have you ever wondered how you came to be that way? Or how to break th...

When "Let Go and Let God" Doesn't Work

26 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You've probably heard the expression, "Let go and let God." That it's somehow OK to lose control of what you want or believe. But I disagree with this...

Two Codependent Boundary Systems You Need To Know

19 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

As a codependent, setting (and sticking to) boundaries can sometimes be challenging. And look, no judgment at all. Boundaries are tricky and take lots...

Interview: She Almost Called Off The Wedding

12 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you experienced red flags in your relationship with your loved one that almost caused you to make a huge decision to either stay or leave? That's...

Interview: I Hate The Holidays

05 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Maybe you love the holidays. Or perhaps you're like a woman in our community I spoke to recently who has said, "I hate the holidays."  If that's some...

Interview: Her Plan For A Happy Holiday

28 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, the holidays may not always be something you're looking forward to, right? Because most likely, this ...

Interview: How I'm Deciding To Stay Or Go

21 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How do you know if you should stay or leave your relationship when you love someone struggling with addiction? I had the pleasure of speaking with a b...

Interview: I'm Here To Stay

14 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you're with someone struggling with addiction, have you ever wondered what it could look like to stay in your relationship with them? I recently sp...

Interview: I Had No Idea I Was Married To An Alcoholic

07 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What happens when a loved one has been hiding their addiction from you (even for many years!)? Because let's be honest: it can be devastating when you...

Mindful Detaching and Finding Your Center

31 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you have someone in your life who is struggling with addiction, you've probably felt a wide range of emotions: hurt, anger, sadness, and sometime...

My Story Of Struggling With Depression

24 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, you may feel depressed sometimes or have feelings of anxiety. You've been through a lot because of th...

Ways To Spend Your Energy When You're Feeling Overwhelmed

17 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, you've maybe felt overwhelmed sometimes. Or you start believing some negative thoughts about yourself...

Staying With Your Loved One Who Struggles With Addiction

10 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, the decision to stay or leave your relationship is ultimately up to you. It's one that you need to ha...

What You Are Feeling Is A Big Deal

03 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Loving someone with addiction usually means you feel many things: love, anxiety, and frustration (just to name a few). Or even that you're coming ungl...

After You Leave: What To Expect

26 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, there's usually a rollercoaster of emotions - feeling hopeful for their recovery, only to then feel d...

You Have Control Over Your Decision

19 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you gone back and forth (maybe many times) on whether you should stay or leave your relationship with your loved one who struggles with addiction...

You Are So Much More Than Pretty

12 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever thought that if you just keep a smile on your face and look pretty and perfectly together (even though you're barely hanging on), that i...

Real Talk When They're Not Getting Sober

05 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You've more than likely tried expressing your feelings to them, right? Like how their drinking or using is affecting you and your relationship. Or tha...

When It Was Finally Time To Leave And Divorce My Ex-Husband

29 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, have you ever thought about the possibility of leaving them? Because let's be honest, it can be exhau...

Has Addiction Convinced You That You're Crazy?

22 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt crazy because of your loved one's addiction? Like, maybe their addiction is all in your mind and not real? Or that you're somehow a...

Do You Live In A Constant State Of Fear Or Anxiety?

15 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever worried that something bad might happen to your loved one that struggles with addiction? Maybe it's a fear of them getting in trouble le...

Are You Taking On Too Much Responsibility?

08 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, you're more than likely taking on too much responsibility. I mean, let's be honest; you're probably t...

What Are The Consequences For Your Loved One's Behavior?

01 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, it can be frustrating because you see them self-destruct. And in turn, it can also sometimes affect y...

Finding Your Way To Healthy And Healing

25 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, have you ever felt like you're losing yourself? Or maybe feel like you're crazy because of things you...

Can Addiction Screening Help Your Loved One?

18 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, you just want to try to make sense of why this is happening to them, right? And you probably also wan...

Does Your Loved One Struggle With Gambling?

11 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

As you know, there are many things that a person can be addicted to, such as alcohol, drugs, or pornography. But there's one type of addiction that I ...

How You Can Change The Future Of Addiction

04 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you have children with your partner who struggles with addiction, it's important to know and understand that they have an increased risk of devel...

What Makes Your Loved One Prone To Addiction?

27 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When thinking about your loved one who struggles with addiction, have you ever wondered why it affects them? What is it that makes some more prone to ...

The Evolution of Addiction Theory

20 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

As you may have heard several episodes ago, I'm taking a certification course at Stanford that's all about the history and theories of addiction in a ...

My Personal Experience With Abuse

13 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week, I'm switching gears a little bit to talk about a subject that may be a little sensitive to some of you (myself included): abuse. While the ...

How To Set Expectations In Your Relationship

06 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A loved one's addiction can sometimes have a way of making you feel that what you're asking for in your relationship is unrealistic. Can you relate? B...

Are You Doing Too Much Work?

30 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, have you ever wondered what it could look like if they ever got sober? Or what their behaviors would ...

Where Is Your Loved One In Their Recovery?

23 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you tuned in last week, you heard me covering some of the first steps in helping you figure out where your loved one may be in their recovery. And ...

How The 12 Steps Can Help You

16 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you have a loved one struggling with addiction, you might have heard about the '12 Steps' of recovery. These are a set of guidelines (steps) to wor...

Mind Games, Anger, and Your Loved One

09 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, they've most likely played mind games with you at some point. As a result, it can lead to anger or fr...

How Do I Stop Feeling Guilty?

02 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever felt guilty for a tough decision (or many) you've had to make when loving someone struggling with addiction? If so, you're not alone. Bu...

Are You Worried About Relapse And Your Loved One?

25 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, there may be periods when they are sober. And then you see a tiny glimmer of hope. But when that happ...

How To Have A Real Conversation With Your Kid

18 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you have kids, having a real conversation with them about your partner's addiction is important. Because here's the thing: not only is addiction co...

How To Love From A Distance

11 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When a loved one struggles with addiction, their actions and behaviors can lead you to feel hurt or angry sometimes, right? And it's easy to stay stuc...

Why You Must Master Your Boundaries

04 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Boundaries. You've probably heard that term before, and to be honest, it's one of my favorite subjects to talk about. But it can be a little confusing...

Having Fun Is Key To Your Healing

28 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Today, I want to talk about something that's important for your healing: having more fun in your life. Yep, you heard me correctly. You may be asking,...

Is Your Lack of Trust Holding You Back?

21 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, trust (or rather, a lack of trust) can be a common issue. Your loved one may have broken that trust. ...

Red Flags You Might Be Missing

14 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

As you've heard me say before, my ex-husband is a good man who struggles with addiction, but unfortunately, addiction turned him into a different pers...

What's Next With Your Healing?

07 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you've decided that leaving your partner who struggles with addiction is best for your situation, you might then be asking, "What's next in moving ...

Answers To Your Questions About Letting Go

28 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Loving someone struggling with addiction can sometimes make things feel out of control in your relationship and your life. And when you start feeling ...

My Relationship With My Ex-Husband

21 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Thinking about whether you should stay in or leave your relationship with your loved one struggling with addiction can be hard, right? It might give y...

Are You In Control Of Your Mood?

14 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone suffering from addiction, you've maybe wondered: why am I not good enough for them to get sober? Or thinking that if your partne...

Addiction Is Not Normal

07 Feb 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you think about the relationship you have with your loved one that suffers from addiction, you're more than likely the one who does all of the gi...

You Are Deserving of Comfort

31 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone struggling with addiction, you want so badly to help them get healthy and be the person they were before addiction took over. Ca...

Have You Let Yourself Mourn?

24 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Feeling anger, fear, or sadness when you love someone struggling with addiction is normal (even if you're no longer with them). And it's also understa...

The Real Danger of Distrust

17 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Feeling distrust in your relationship when you love someone struggling with addiction can be quite common. But there is some real danger in that. Beca...

How To Learn To Trust Yourself

10 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Whether your loved one suffers from addiction or not, having trust in your relationship is essential. Right? Because without it, you'll most likely st...

You Reserve The Right To Change Your Mind

03 Jan 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever gone back and forth on a decision you needed to make while loving someone suffering from addiction? Maybe there have been days you're re...

It's Okay to Be Angry

27 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone suffering from addiction, have you ever felt angry at some point? Maybe your loved one lied to you (again). Or spent every dime ...

How to Find Power From Your Embarrassment

20 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

At some point, you've probably felt embarrassed about your situation or something your loved one has done who suffers from addiction. Or maybe you're ...

Cheating, Denial, and Addiction

13 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever thought that your loved one who suffers from addiction might be cheating on you? It's not something you want to think about, right? So i...

What To Do When You Just Want To Scream

06 Dec 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever wanted to throw your hands up and scream from the chaos and dysfunction that sometimes happens when you love someone suffering from addi...

What Do You Want To Accomplish?

29 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

When you love someone with addiction, it can be easy to forget what you want to accomplish in your life because the focus is usually on them. Does tha...

Is Marijuana Safer Than Other Drugs?

22 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

If your loved one's addiction is marijuana, do they try to justify using it by saying it's safe because it's 'all-natural'? Or that it's not as harmfu...

Removing The Cloak of Addiction

15 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

When you love a good person suffering from addiction, it can sometimes feel like the light or sparkliness that's inside you has dimmed. Can you relate...

Changing Expectations vs. Changing Yourself

08 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Has the thought ever crossed your mind that you should change who you are just because things aren't going as planned with your loved one who suffers ...

It Is OK To Take Control Of Your Life

01 Nov 2020

Contributed by Lukas

You've probably heard the expression, "Let go and let God." And at times it can be a helpful mantra. But I disagree with this saying when you love som...

Things Don't Feel OK and That's OK *Bonus Episode*

30 Oct 2020

Contributed by Lukas

Earlier today, I was walking into the grocery store and then turned right back around to get in my car and record this podcast for you. This spur-of-t...