Machine of Death
Activity Overview
Episode publication activity over the past year
Episodes
ROCK AND ROLL : Written by Toby W. Rush + read by Rachael McCabe
12 Dec 2013
Contributed by Lukas
"This is my first concert," she replied, mustering her confidence. "But I've been a huge fan since Death by Rock and Roll." She made sure to name-chec...
Machine of Death Card Game - Playtest
19 Mar 2013
Contributed by Lukas
Kris Straub and David Malki play a round of Machine of Death: The Game of Creative Assassination.
Machine of Death 2 Interview : Kris Straub, Ryan North, + David Malki !
12 Feb 2013
Contributed by Lukas
Kris Straub interviews Ryan North and David Malki ! at the Super-Stupendous Machine of Death Magic + Variety Show, November 2011.
CASSANDRA : Written + read by T.J. Radcliffe
21 Sep 2012
Contributed by Lukas
It was like that movie, back in the day, where the machine asks the kid, "How about a nice game of chess?" / "No," he types back. "Let's play Global T...
QUESTION MARK : Written by Randall Munroe + read by Howard Tayler
24 Aug 2012
Contributed by Lukas
He had not read his slip of paper. It was folded in an envelope in his left pocket. In his right pocket were several books of matches, and he was wear...
DROWNING : Written by C.E. Guimont + read by Sean Casey
16 Aug 2012
Contributed by Lukas
I saw the first ads in March. A week or two later it was all over the news, and then for the next few months you could not get away from it. Still, no...
FRIENDLY FIRE : Written by Douglas J Lane + read by Zach Weiner
19 Apr 2012
Contributed by Lukas
She was somewhere north of forty. Her dark hair showed silver strands, and the beginnings of crow's feet bracketed chestnut-colored eyes. Tommy notice...
WHILE TRYING TO SAVE ANOTHER : Written by Daliso Chaponda + read by Ike Amadi
08 Mar 2012
Contributed by Lukas
Timothy got up. "One hundred and one here; just like the Dalmatians. I'm going to die in a fire while trying to save another." / Isma spoke slowly; sh...
HEAT DEATH OF THE UNIVERSE : Written by James Foreman + read by Andrew Giordano
22 Feb 2012
Contributed by Lukas
The machine printed out the certificates on special paper, the same pinkish color as those new five-dollar bills. He put them face-down on a tray and ...
IMPROPERLY PREPARED BLOWFISH : Written by Gord Sellar + read by Brett Donnelly
10 Jan 2012
Contributed by Lukas
"It's an older model, but that's all that ever made it to Fukuoka before these things were outlawed altogether. It was functioning, as of a week ago. ...
COCAINE AND PAINKILLERS : Written by David Malki ! + read by Nika Harper
22 Nov 2011
Contributed by Lukas
At nine o'clock on a Tuesday morning, the parking lot in front of Jack Bogg Enterprises was somehow already full. Kelly didn't know quite what to do. ...
LOVE AD NAUSEUM : Written by Sherri Jacobsen + read by Tiffany Petersen
15 Nov 2011
Contributed by Lukas
SWF, 36, seeks SM 25-50. Must be employed, love outdoor hobbies. No OVERDOSE, ALCOHOLISM, similar readings, please. Box 1876.
KILLED BY DANIEL : Written by Julia Wainwright + read by Timothy Volpert
22 Oct 2011
Contributed by Lukas
For a while, he kept the little slip of paper hidden at the back of a desk drawer at work, still inside its official envelope. He didn't want it in th...
CANCER : Written + read by David Malki !
11 Oct 2011
Contributed by Lukas
In garish red and yellow, the flyer announced that You, Too, could "Defeat the Machine!" A colorful cartoon hammer smashed a predictor box, starbursts...
SHOT BY SNIPER : Written by Bartholomew von Klick + read by Christopher Osborn
04 Oct 2011
Contributed by Lukas
A shot kicked up dirt in front of Grale's face. He pulled himself backward, back to the dubious protection of the fallen sign. They all knew Grale wou...
MOD Talent Show : After Many Years...
22 Sep 2011
Contributed by Lukas
Bradley McLaughlin performs his original song "After Many Years..." at the Machine of Death Talent Show, April 26, 2011, in Hollywood, CA.
AFTER MANY YEARS, STOPS BREATHING, WHILE ASLEEP, WITH SMILE ON FACE : Written by William Grallo + read by Bradley McLaughlin
16 Sep 2011
Contributed by Lukas
"You gotta be fucking kidding me!" says one of Jill's friends, leaning forward to get a better look at my shirt. On Toe Tag Night no one wears tags on...
VEGETABLES : Written by Chris Cox + read by Todd Croak-Falen
02 Sep 2011
Contributed by Lukas
"The bloke's a whack job." Billy, the Director of Marketing, tells me this while he's picking his nose with a paperclip. In the background a phone has...
TORN APART AND DEVOURED BY LIONS : Written by Jeffrey Wells + read by Jesse Thorn
25 Aug 2011
Contributed by Lukas
"Missus Murphy, I will have you know that I am to be torn apart and devoured by lions." Simon Pfennig was fully aware of how strange he must sound. He...
MURDER AND SUICIDE, RESPECTIVELY : Written by Ryan North + read by MC Frontalot
05 Jul 2011
Contributed by Lukas
"You don't see it? What if we could ship this box further away? What if Dr. Merry lived thousands of light-years away, and we could somehow get the bo...
FIRING SQUAD : Written + read by J Jack Unrau
23 Jun 2011
Contributed by Lukas
When I looked up from my plate, three young men were sitting on the other side of the rough table, staring at me intensely. None of them were very tal...
MOD Talent Show : When We Found Out On Our Own
12 Jun 2011
Contributed by Lukas
Zachary Bernstein, of The Bicycats, performs his original song "When We Found Out On Our Own" at the Machine of Death Talent Show, April 26, 2011, in ...
LOSS OF BLOOD : Written by Jeff Stautz + read by Joel Watson
10 Jun 2011
Contributed by Lukas
Pepper coughs and her eyes snap open. Then she yelps and recoils from me, my white uniform and blue gloves, my belt blinking with electronics. "No, I'...
STARVATION : Written by M. Bennardo + read by Brian Swanson
23 May 2011
Contributed by Lukas
Johnny straggled behind Dalton as they came out of the jungle into the clearing. Streaks of fuel burned in the grass, the flames pale and languid in t...
CANCER : Written by Camron Miller + read by Joanna Penn
13 May 2011
Contributed by Lukas
In the months afterward, in suburban dining rooms, the bohemian bourgeoisie debated the ethics of the machine. The first had been installed unobtrusiv...
NOTHING : Written by Pelotard + read by Lore Sjoberg
05 May 2011
Contributed by Lukas
The door opened when she was still a few yards from the house. An old man made his way out, standing on the three steps leading down to the yard, stra...
FLAMING MARSHMALLOW : Written by Camille Alexa + read by Colleen AF Venable
13 Apr 2011
Contributed by Lukas
I'm so freaking excited I can hardly stand it. Tomorrow is my birthday, THE birthday. The birthday everybody waits and waits for and until you get the...
HIV INFECTION FROM MACHINE OF DEATH NEEDLE : Written by Brian Quinlan + read by Jason Frederick
01 Apr 2011
Contributed by Lukas
Well, I thought, that sucks.
MISCARRIAGE : Written by James L. Sutter + read by Jonathan Shockley
25 Mar 2011
Contributed by Lukas
The second time the stick turned blue, it was intentional -- they had good jobs, a car, a house, and a strong desire to take the next step. They'd sur...
PIANO : Written + read by Rafa Franco
18 Mar 2011
Contributed by Lukas
I remember everything about that day. It was right there at the mall, between the ice cream stand and Hot Topic, a big hunk of metal with a hole and a...
ANEURYSM : Written by Alexander Danner + read by Kris Straub
08 Mar 2011
Contributed by Lukas
The cart was draped with a white bed sheet, keeping the cart's burden hidden. The guests all turned to watch as the little mystery wheeled into the ro...
EXPLODED : Written by Tom Francis + read by Christopher Joseph
19 Feb 2011
Contributed by Lukas
When some small-minded prick with a bag of pipe bombs decided commuters were responsible for all the world's problems this morning, it became the most...
DESPAIR : Written by K.M. Lawrence + read by Clair Lockeyear
23 Jan 2011
Contributed by Lukas
This is the procedure now: A vehicle comes into the bay, paramedics pull a body out on an unfolding trolley, and a nurse meets them and asks them for ...
PRISON KNIFE FIGHT : Written by Shaenon K. Garrity + read by Dave Kellett
06 Jan 2011
Contributed by Lukas
Very expensive nanny. Very expensive tutor. Montessori nursery school priced competitively with Yale. Phonics, piano lessons from age four, one edifyi...
SUICIDE : Written by David Michael Wharton + read by Todd Luoto
28 Dec 2010
Contributed by Lukas
The clerk set the gun on the counter. "There's a seven-day waiting period." Tommy peeled off an extra couple hundreds and slid them across the counter...
ALMOND : Written by John Chernega + read by Kevin McShane
06 Dec 2010
Contributed by Lukas
I'm tired of looking at the machine, but there's nothing else to look at. Maybe it's supposed to wear down my defenses and get me to take the test, bu...
EXHAUSTION FROM HAVING SEX WITH A MINOR : Written + read by Yahtzee Croshaw
23 Nov 2010
Contributed by Lukas
"The job of Prime Minister is no job for a weakling," said Derek Fortham MP, eyes shining in the TV spotlight. "Centuries of British politics have sho...
FUDGE : Written + read by Kit Yona
09 Nov 2010
Contributed by Lukas
To any of the countless shoppers passing by, the kiss wouldn't have seemed like much. Longer than a peck, sure, but nothing overlong or excessive. It ...
NOT WAVING BUT DROWNING : Written + read by Erin McKean
02 Nov 2010
Contributed by Lukas
Everyone knows that on the fourth day of ninth grade is when you get your results. I mean, that's the way it happens in our town; other towns do it d...
INTRODUCTION : Written + read by Ryan North
01 Nov 2010
Contributed by Lukas
The machine had been invented a few years ago: a machine that could tell, from just a sample of your blood, how you were going to die. It didn't give ...