Chapter 1: What is the significance of Awhina's experience on the show?
Hello and welcome back to the Maths for New Podcast with me, Joshua Fox, and welcome to the first episode of what I'm going to call The Aftermaths, where I'll sit down with cast members one by one to unpack the season, find out all the things they're now only able to reveal now the show's over, and also ask them, yo, what's next? And I hope you like the name, The Aftermaths, as in the aftermath.
Little play on words for you there. And you know, the word aftermath is also defined in the dictionary as the consequences or after effects of a significant unpleasant event, which sounds about right to be honest, doesn't it? Anyway, my first sit down was only ever going to be with the queen of the season in my eyes, Athena.
With these chats, I'm not aiming to change anyone's minds, but what I will say is, if you're one of the people who's been saying things like, why did Athena stay so long? She's just as bad as Adrian for staying so long. Why did she change her mind?
Or if you're one of the people who've been questioning her as a mother, which I don't agree with, where it's been like, why would she leave her son for so long? She never saw her son. I just want to say this chat will give a lot more context to things that we didn't see on TV that will answer some of those questions. Enjoy. Hello and welcome back to the Maths Mini podcast.
I'm very excited about today's episode because I'm joined by my favorite part of the season.
Don't lie there, Josh. Am I actually your favourite?
Yeah, I've been saying that on the podcast every week, so you've obviously not listened.
I haven't been listening to all. I listened to your one with my ex-husband.
Oh, yeah.
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Chapter 2: Why did Awhina stay on the show for so long despite challenges?
They never recognised when I slipped through his product on. Not only that, I told him ideas throughout the experiment. Like, hey, when you bake this, let's film the cast now so that you can have those reactions live next year when this is all trending. I was constantly bouncing back ideas.
You're like his business manager.
Well, you know, when I'm dating someone, I want to show interest in everything they do. So this is the direction he wanted to go. So I was like, if this is his direction, I'm going to help him go full steam ahead. That's how I shot for a partner. But it was just everything. So I did have an interest in his business because it was for my partner.
In that same kind of context, I don't think he asked me once any questions about myself. And I think when you're so giving, you naturally just think the relationship is almost both ways because you're showing up in every way. So things work.
Well, my perception is you wanted it to work so badly that you maybe were blind to red flags and certain behaviours.
I think with what everyone kind of forgets is that I'm in an experiment. I'm in an environment where I'm in these apartments with a partner that I didn't choose. So I'm kind of there and I'm going, well, why were we partnered together? This is my partner.
There has to be something there.
Well, there has to be something. So I'm showing up how I would naturally for a partner. So I'm still trying to get to know who Adrian is to his core. He doesn't know me yet. He doesn't have to show up as a partner yet. So I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt to get to know me and put in the work that I'm putting in. We've given up a lot to be here. Let's try. And I felt like
I was the only one trying consistently. And it was just really hard for me to kind of go, when do you kind of draw the lines when there's so many more layers than everyone else has seen? Like you've got production, you've got other cast members, like cast members, but... You know, applicants or whatever. Participants. Participants. You've got so many layers.
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Chapter 3: How did Awhina's relationship with Adrian affect her perception of herself?
So... and then also I had a few of the other girls when I brought up issues to them off camera where I said hey I think I want to go home again I was received with that same kind of feedback where it's like you're not giving Adrian a chance Adrian's a soulful man Adrian's given up a lot to be here you know you should give him a chance it's unfair because xyz left the experiment and then
Elliot leaving the experiment almost was like this big scary story because you watched how much people ripped him to shreds when he wasn't in a room to defend himself. And now we all saw how that played out afterwards. Lauren wasn't that great. But in that moment when Elliot wasn't there, he got ripped to shreds.
I thought, oh my God, not only did I not get the love of my life, I'm also going to be this villain, this bad person for not trying.
So it's almost in those moments you thought, actually, this isn't going to work. You're peer pressured by everyone.
I feel peer pressured, but not only that. I recognized very early on there was a lot of characteristics within Adrian that I would never want for a life partner. Now, if I saw a future with Adrian, a real future, he would have met my son. Like I went in there for a life partner and I got a child. I got a child.
A second child.
I got a second child. Now, the issue with that is you can blame peer pressure and you can blame the experts and production.
when i did choose to stay even though there were so many layers to that decision i'm spending a lot of time with this man intimately we're together five days a week without the rest of the group we're in an apartment on top of each other naturally feelings are going to develop and i did kind of develop like this care for adrian where i would keep seeing a child do the wrong thing and i wanted to keep helping him and i just i couldn't remove like
the child from the man i kept seeing this child who needed my help and then well my understanding is as the season progressed and it became clear adrian was going to be a villain that you almost felt protective right and you you're like you're staying more than you would have because you want to i was genuinely protecting him even at that last moment in final vows where everyone thinks i stayed to get laid
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Chapter 4: What criticisms did Awhina face during her time on the show?
And I said to myself, you know what, Athena, you're always going to be the bad guy in his story. You don't need him. He needs you. Yes. And he's literally offered you zero kindness from how much support you've offered him. It's always just attack, attack, attack. And I don't need this. Like I really don't. And at one point you kind of have to be like, he's not a child anymore.
He's an adult and I'm done. So I blocked him on all platforms. I blocked him.
So good when you press block that day.
I blocked him and then he added me on Snapchat. I blocked him on Snapchat and now he's added me on TikTok. So I haven't blocked his TikTok yet. Mate, if I had a LinkedIn, he probably would have added me on that. But I also think another reason why, this is my naughty reason, I think I also kept the channel open. Adrian's relentless. He's like Jackie, you know, relentless. Yeah. So...
And I knew his frustrations would be online where he would then kind of push his narrative, get in front of the story and kind of paint me in a negative light like he did in the experiment. No one else saw that because it wasn't shown. But there were so many times where I would address concerns and it would be deflected back onto me. And I would be made to feel like the bad guy.
And I almost felt like it was going to happen now because I don't have a voice. I don't have an online platform. I'm not rogue like he is on every social media channel, uploading a million TikToks, his brother as well. So I thought if I can offer him some kindness, maybe he wouldn't be attacking my character daily. But even with the kindness towards him, he was still attacking me.
So it's like, why am I helping this guy?
Yeah, you just need to cut him off for good.
Because he's still commenting about me. His family, his sisters, his dad even. His fake fan pages.
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Chapter 5: How did production influence Awhina's experience and decisions?
So they were all good mates and I felt like I was on the outside. You know, had them all on Instagram. I didn't have anyone on Instagram. You know, I spoke to ex-applicants. I had zero connection to this maths world. So I felt like I was on the outside. I felt like I was Adrian's wife. Yeah.
Like not a participant, you were like his plus one.
Yeah, and I felt like there were so many opportunities where I recognised poor behaviour, but I was like, oh my God, his behaviour is wrong and I'm trying to defend myself, but they're going to make it out like I'm the bad guy because he was always making me feel like I was a bad guy by the end of it. And there was moments in the experiment where Jamie always stood up for me.
She always stood on business, but it was always just Jamie, right? So when we would leave a dinner party and he was definitely in the wrong, he would leave it and go, see how only Jamie stood up for you? Because if you were in the right that everyone would have, you were in the wrong. And I would leave there going, well, why didn't more people stand up for me then? Maybe I am in the wrong.
Maybe I am, and I would question myself because, again, that collective language would be used.
We were essentially being manipulated everywhere because producers do that to an extent. The experts do because they're following a storyline. But then to have that behind the scenes in your room, that's a vulnerable... The very small rooms, it's just you and him.
We had the smallest room too. So other people had two-bedroom apartments. They had external bathrooms. We had the smallest room in the experiment. I could touch my kitchen from my bed.
I don't know. I feel like...
I had no space.
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Chapter 6: What were the emotional impacts of the commitment ceremonies on Awhina?
Yeah.
That friends and family went for like five minutes. Not even. Like I was already nervous about seeing them. Adrian and I obviously off the back of a tough week where he won't stay and I decided to leave. I was done. I've tried my hardest and... I didn't want to be there anymore. So walking into friends and family, I'd actually texted my twin sister that morning and I said, go easy on Adrian.
If we're here, I don't need this level of hostility. Like I'm struggling enough as it is. Like everyone can see. that I'm struggling, like I'm a shell that day. And then I sat down and I thought it could be nice, a nice friends and family, they're just gonna catch up, we can eat, we can have a few drinks and let's just come on like civility, like we're grownups. I was met with instant hostility.
It was an interrogation off the get-go. And afterwards, when I said that that was hostile, it was an interrogation, Adrian deflected that back onto me and made me feel like, no, Cleo and I were in the wrong and we were the bad guys and we attacked and our aggression was wrong and our language was wrong. And then even when we were in a group dynamic that night at the dinner party...
He was telling everyone his, you know, warped reality. I could hear him on the outside telling everyone his version of events and I do feel like a lot of people failed me that night because I think that more people should have stood up for me in that moment.
Yeah, and I think it's not even the cast that failed you. It's everyone involved in this show because, as I said, you said you went into that friends and family. You were already feeling a bit, like, uneasy. You weren't enjoying it. And they allowed those people, those three women, to just attack you before bringing in Cleo, who was your support.
Like, the production saw a vulnerable woman who was struggling, and they thought, let's throw three people who are going to attack her. Yeah. And, like, I didn't... Like, people always say, like, oh, my podcast meant to be funny, and I tried to, but things like that, it's... I cried watching that back. I can imagine reliving it.
Like I cried.
i think the reason i cried is because i when the experiment was over i could breathe i was happy but i actually left this experience going i'm the bad guy i genuinely did i told cleo i'm gonna be made out like the villain i was made to feel like the villain so everyone else was watching it back like aren't you happy like you're so supported like the other applicants that watch this i won't name them but
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Chapter 7: How did Awhina's friendships evolve during the experiment?
Okay. Hopefully we, as the Australian public, can leave him behind.
yeah i'm gonna say one thing though yes after this week you know it's done on air i will never talk about adrian again great so this i'm gonna do a few podcasts this week i'm gonna do channel my interview press on monday that's it you will never hear me mention that man's name again he's blocked for a reason i'm moving on with my life um and i will never speak of him again
You know what I like about you is the fact that everyone is now at the stage where they're planning podcasts and fashion ranges and this and that. And last time I spoke to you, you just went, well, you know, I'm just taking my son to a sports club and then I'm doing a shift like edge care. And you're like, that's all you want in your life. Like you don't want these.
My job's pretty awesome, not going to lie. Like I have a really great job.
But like to me, that's just telling of your character. You're just a nice, genuine person.
Well, I do have a good gig and, like, I'm really lucky because, like, I've got a really great community behind me. I remember when I first got back home, one of my friends cried and this was before it all aired and she cried because she was like, I just want the light back in you and I was like... And I was like it's so telling of like the people I'm normally around.
Like people genuinely care about you and they can see things. They're not waiting for you to spell a picture. Like how do people not see? Like now you're watching it back. There's comments where it's like Athena's body is rejecting her. Like she's ā I gained eight kilos in that experiment. But not only that, inflammation, my eyes. Like there's so many things. There's so many telling signs.
And I come home and my friends recognise it instantly. You know, like, it's just beautiful being home in my community. Like, I went straight back to work. I picked my son up on the way home from the airport. I flew home five times through the experiment at a cost to myself.
Oh, they wouldn't pay for that?
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Chapter 8: What lessons has Awhina learned about relationships after the show?
Like everyone had kind of gone wild.
You were in that relationship your whole 20s.
My teenage years too. I met him when I was 15.
Yeah, so it's like you might have looked back and gone, fuck, my best years are behind me and I didn't do anything wild.
I was so thankful for my son because he's amazing but I thought I'm missing out on something. I need excitement. I need something. I need to catch up to the rest of the world. You know, like I don't feel like I've done enough. even though I'd lived this very beautiful, incredible life, I felt like it was lacking somewhere. Like I had a hole and then maths fell into my lap almost.
And I'm thankful for it because I think a lot of people after a long-term breakup, they spend years chasing something. I had three months and when I left that experience, I was kind of like, holy fuck, my life is so great. I'm so content. I'm so happy in my life. I am not missing out on anything.
The level of excitement I have in my life, I have every day because I have this beautiful community behind me and we do different things. It is exciting.
You've got great friends, a good job and a son and a beautiful home.
And a beautiful family.
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