Making Cents

"I’m a saver, he’s a spender, how do we get on the same page?" Mailbag episode

21 Jan 2026

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Opposites attract, until it comes to money. This week’s listener says she’s a saver, her partner is a spender, and every attempt to “get serious” about their finances ends the same way: frustration, guilt, splurging out of spite, and a plan that falls apart by March. Instead of moving forward, they’re cancelling each other out, and it’s starting to wear them both down. In this Ask the Experts episode, EnableMe head strategic coach Katie Wesney breaks down why saver–spender dynamics are so common, and why money fights are usually about values, security, and behaviour, not just dollars. We talk about: Why saver–spender couples clash, even when they want the same life How different money personalities (savers, spenders, upholders, questioners, rebels) approach rules, goals, and plans Why behaviour matters more than the “perfect” financial strategy How starting with a shared vision changes the conversation Practical systems that reduce friction, including automation and separate “no-questions-asked” spending How couples can use their differences as strengths instead of sabotage If you have a letter you’d like us to answer, please send it through to [email protected] (mailto:[email protected]) and you might feature on our next episode! Follow me everywhere! Facebook / https://www.facebook.com/FrancesCookNZ Instagram / https://www.instagram.com/francescooknz TikTok / https://www.tiktok.com/@francescooknz Join the Money Memo newsletter for a free weekly money tip in your inbox each week https://www.francescook.co.nz/subscribe This podcast was filmed & produced by Fanaticals Video editing & content production by Lana Byrne Audio engineering by Tash Chittock #MakingCents #FrancesCook #SaverVsSpender #CouplesAndMoney #MoneyInRelationships #MoneyPersonalities #MoneyMindset #BudgetingAsACouple #JointAccounts #FinancialAccountability #MortgageTips #PayOffMortgageFaster #FinancialFreedom Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:09 Listener letter: opposite money styles 00:01:48 "Money fights aren’t about money” (trust, values, security) 00:03:14 How to start the conversation: vision, numbers, timeframes 00:04:24 Money personality types: saver / shopper / plodder 00:05:34 Gretchen Rubin tendencies: upholder, obliger, questioner, rebel 00:11:08 Saver vs shopper 00:13:24 Systems for couples: joint vs separate money + autonomy 00:15:58 Where to from here? 00:16:19 Outro

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Making Cents

"I’m a saver, he’s a spender, how do we get on the same page?" Mailbag episode

This episode hasn't been transcribed yet

Other episodes from Making Cents

How One Kiwi Got $15,000 Back From the IRD

Why Being a Loyal Customer Costs You Thousands

What Actually Gets You a Better Price for Your House

When Will The NZ Economy Actually Get Better?

The SpaceX IPO Needs a Bright Red Hype Warning

Can I Actually Count on NZ Super Being There For Me?

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