Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Beyonce could be working at McDonald's and still pull Jay-Z, but Jay-Z couldn't do the same thing working at McDonald's. Shout out to Chris Rock for that note. And shout out to today's guest, Scott Galloway, for referencing that, but more importantly, giving us an amazing masterclass where we go through his new book, Notes on Being a Man.
So if you are the parent of a man, if you're a young man under the age of 30, I promise you this episode is going to change your life. Ladies and gentlemen, I present my good friend, Mr. Scott Galloway.
You're listening to Mick Unplugged, hosted by the one and only Mick Hunt. This is where purpose meets power and stories spark transformation.
Chapter 2: What is the crisis of masculinity today?
Mick takes you beyond the motivation and into meaning, helping you discover your because and becoming unstoppable. I'm Rudy Rush, and trust me, you're in the right place. Let's get unplugged.
Scott, how you doing today, brother? I'm good. And I'm enjoying this podcast so far. Thanks for the kind words, Beck. Hey, man, I'm honored to have you on. I know how busy you are. And it just means the world that you're here with me, Scott. And there's so much I want to get into with the book. But I want to start by asking you, brother, like, what is your because?
That thing that's deeper than your why, that passion, that purpose that's driving you forward every day today?
It's a generous question. So trying to not put as much polish on it, it's changed. I would say it's kind of pre-45 and then post-45. I didn't grow up with a lot of money. Mick, did you grow up with money? Not at all. So that scarcity, some of that anxiety that I was raised by a single immigrant mother who lived and died a secretary, money was a thing for us. A lack of money was a thing for us.
And I don't want to say it traumatized me, but it made me very aware or self-conscious about not having money. And so, to be blunt, my objective or purpose as a younger man into my 20s, 30s, and even into my 40s wasn't to be a good person, wasn't to save the whales, it wasn't to restore social justice. Quite frankly, it was just to have economic security.
That was my purpose and my goal and everything I was focused on.
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Chapter 3: How is social isolation affecting young men?
I was never a bad person. I voted. I think I was good to my employees, but I was very focused on money, quite frankly, and the accoutrements of money, relevance, people find you interesting, access to things and experiences. I think as I, when I hit economic security and I had the luxury of thinking, what is my purpose? My purpose now I see is I wanna raise
I want to raise generous, loving, patriotic men. I have two boys. That's my purpose. And I'm still learning. I'm not sure I'm good at it. It's something I'm trying to figure out every day. But the box I really want to check before I check out, if you will, is I want to know that I've raised two kids that feel good about themselves, invest in other people's well-being, invest in the country.
That's my purpose. I want to raise loving, generous, patriotic men.
I love that, dude. I love that. And Scott, I'm honored to be here with you. And I owe you this right here. And this is me looking in your eye saying thank you. Notes on Being a Man, your latest book, is amazing. And why I'm telling you thank you is this. I have two boys as well, 23 and 25. You've allowed us to have meaningful dialogue. Meaning my boys are reading this book right now.
And we're having conversations and we don't live in the same household, right? Like they're 23, 25 ones in grad school in Miami. The other one's coaching football in Colorado. But we have a weekly chat where we break down this book and they get to ask me questions. I get to ask them questions. And one of the things in our last conversation two days ago literally was,
You say in the book, you know, men used to go from being needed. Right. But now it starts with being accountable. And my kids were like, so, dad, talk to us about what it was like, you know, to be needed. And I said, you're the example. Right. Like, I felt like as your father, I needed to be needed by you. Right.
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Chapter 4: What does Scott mean by 'garbage time' in parenting?
But now. I realize what I need is for you to hold me accountable to being the example for you. And that kind of sparked some really good conversation. So I owe you thank you for being a blueprint for what is going to be my future fatherhood for grown men.
Well, thanks. Those are generous comments. And my first reaction is you're both obviously done something right and you're blessed because I'm telling you, Mick, I know a lot of men, a lot of dads who when you scratch the surface and they get off mic, their sons are really struggling. And I mean, I'll give you some stark statistics here.
We have an opiate and a homeless crisis, but what we really have is a male opiate and a male homeless crisis. Men are three times more likely to be addicted, three times more likely to be homeless. If you walk into a morgue and there's five people who've died by suicide, four of them are men and 12 times more likely to be incarcerated. More single women own homes now than single men.
And I want to be clear, we should do nothing to get in the way of women's assent. We need to celebrate our mothers and sisters progress. It's been important. We won World War II because unlike Hitler, we said women can build P-51 planes and they can be in factories. Women entering the workforce, having certain laws passed, Title IX, gender equality laws.
This has kind of been the, it hasn't been AI or technology. That's been the fuel of our economy is tapping into different labor forces that were underutilized, specifically women and non-whites, such that we could continue to grow our economy and have the kind of prosperity we've registered. But there's just no doubt about it that the data is striking.
There are one in seven men now qualifies what's called a NEET, and that is they're physically capable, but they're neither in education, employment, or any sort of training. They're literally doing nothing. One out of three men under the age of 25 lives at home. One out of five 30-year-old men lives at home.
when only one in three are in a relationship under the age of 30, whereas two and three women are in a relationship. And you think, well, that's impossible mathematically. It's not because women are dating older because they want more economically and emotionally viable men.
And if a man hasn't cohabitated or married by the time he's 30, there's a one in three chance he's gonna be a substance abuser. So the question is, all right, if any group was killing themselves at four times the rate of the control group, you'd think we'd weigh in with empathy and programs. But the problem is,
I mean, from 1945 to 2000, America registered a third of the world's economic growth with 5% of the population. So we got six times the prosperity, right? And then the vast majority of that prosperity was crammed into one third of the population that was white, male, and heterosexual. So people like me with outdoor plumbing and pale skin born in the 60s, we had hurricane like winds in our sails.
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Chapter 5: What are the statistics surrounding men's mental health?
But the way I've gotten to some connection is randomly, and it's through what I call garbage time. I become an Uber driver on the weekends. I call my kids every day. A lot of times they decline my call because they're doing something they think is more important. I check in with them every day. I do my best. I am generous with everything but my time, except with my boys.
I will take any chance to spend time with them, talk to them, because I never know when those moments of connection are going to happen. So for lack of a better term, just being present. Something I also realized, and this is less true of boys your age because they're becoming men, but what I didn't, it took me a while to realize is that I'm not their friend, I'm their dad.
And that is Michelle Obama had this great I mean, basically what you said is occasionally parents have to be assholes such that your kids aren't assholes later in life. You have to disappoint them. You have to get in their face. You have to tell them they're being jerks or idiots. My house has a lot of yelling in it. I'm not proud of that. My God, it gets ugly sometimes. And I'm like, okay, no.
You said you were studying. You said you were done. I just went online. I found out. You missed this test and you're upstairs playing Fortnite. This is unacceptable. You're not going to the Halloween party this weekend. It's awful. I want my son to have a great time. I want him to be social. So two basics, a ton of presence in what I call garbage time, the willingness to have hard conversations.
And on a very basic level, what I got from my mom was, I was raised by a single immigrant mother who lived and died as a secretary, is every day, regardless of how angry she was at me or how badly I was behaving, she signaled to me that she loved me immensely and that I was wonderful. And I think that when I look back on
Why I get to lead the extraordinary life I lead, it's because one smartest thing I did was to be born in America. I just got great opportunities that I don't think anyone else my age got in other nations. Tremendous opportunities and prosperity.
And two, I think if you have a parent that regardless of the state of your relationship or what you've done, every day says in explicit and implicit ways, I love you and I think you're wonderful and you have a lot of value. You can't help but start to believe that. And I think that confidence is, I've carried with that my whole life.
So garbage time, having the tough conversations and always ensuring that every day they know I mean, I'm a busy guy and I'm an impressive guy. And my kids hear from me every day and know that that's the thing that's most important to me in my life is seeing them and talking to them. I think they've got to recognize that means I have value, right?
And boys will just naturally imply more value, if you will, on their father in some ways. And that is their father is sort of this mythical character to them. It's our size, the depth of our voice. But presence in a kid's life, when a boy loses a male role model, Mick, at that moment, he becomes more likely to be incarcerated than graduate from college.
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