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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
50% of you who are married are going to divorce. Some of you have already gone through a divorce. Most of us know people who have been through it. And today's guest, that's exactly what we talk about. I had an amazing conversation with Jacqueline Newman. She is the number one rated divorce attorney in New York City.
We're going to talk about the top three reasons that people actually go through divorce from a psychology standpoint. This is an amazing conversation. I can't wait for you to listen. Make sure you stay through to the end. Because as a divorce attorney, we're going to find out what Jacqueline's biggest lesson about love is. And I think you are going to want to hear that.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present my good friend, Jacqueline Newman.
You're listening to Mick Unplugged, hosted by the one and only Mick Hunt. This is where purpose meets power and stories spark transformation. Mick takes you beyond the motivation and into meaning, helping you discover your because and becoming unstoppable.
Chapter 2: What are the top reasons people get divorced?
I'm Rudy Rush, and trust me, you're in the right place. Let's get unplugged.
Jacqueline, how are you doing today, dear?
Well, thanks so much for that introduction. It's great to be here.
I am honored to have you here. You know, Jacqueline, to have the title of one of the top divorce attorneys in New York City can sometimes be a little weird to say, right? How do you feel? How do you receive that title when people talk about you in that manner?
Well, I mean, it's very flattering. And so, again, thank you so much. You know, I'm very proud of my firm and I'm proud of the career that I've been fortunate enough to build. I've been doing this since day one. I started right after law school. This is all I've ever done. So I put my time in and luckily it's all worked out.
That is awesome. That is awesome. You know, Jacqueline, on the show, I like to ask my guest, what's there because? That deeper purpose, that thing that's deeper than your why, that thing that keeps you going on a daily basis. So if I were to say today, Jacqueline, what's your because? What's that reason that keeps you doing what you do?
You know, that's a great question. And I love that you ask people that. I would say, you know, my because it's really it's helping people. I, you know, in many different features of my life, obviously, including my work, I take so much joy and satisfaction from really watching people grow and helping them. I mean, I get happy because you're happy. It's contagious.
And I really I think that is my because. And, you know, as I said, what I do for a living, I mean, I watch people go through a really difficult time in their lives and hopefully come out stronger. I watch their children be incredibly resilient.
And then I have, you know, outside activities in my life that are really important to me with my friends and my family and charities and things like that that also allow me to continue following my because.
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Chapter 3: How does emotional intelligence play a role in divorce?
You know, wealth is a little bit more on paper. It's not like they have $100 million sitting in their bank account in cash. So more often than not, they're very illiquid. A lot of their assets are hard to appraise. You know, we have businesses, we have private equity interests, we have hedge funds, we have real estate. So, you know, IP. So it does get complex. And that's always a hard thing.
A lot of times, you know, you'll have this money, you know, you'll, Their net worth is very, very high. But when you have to actually pay out your spouse, the liquidity issues are very complex. Not to mention these assets are also, as I said, they're hard to appraise. They're hard to know what true values are.
Chapter 4: What strategies should be considered during a divorce?
People spend hundreds of thousands of dollars bringing in experts to do appraisals. And they're usually subjective because it's very hard to know exactly what something is worth unless you sell it on the market. It's only worth what someone will buy it for. So and that's hard to do when you have assets that aren't easily liquidable.
Got it. Got it. So psychotherapist parents, you're an attorney, you're a divorce lawyer. Do you just like see red flags with people like, like you go to a bar restaurant, you see a couple dating? Is it like, do you ever just find yourself saying, now you probably should stop the date or this should be the last date? Like, what is that like for you?
It is a little bit like I do feel like I'm Superman. I feel like I have those like those x-ray vision glasses where I can walk in a bar and kind of tell like who's going to work and who's not. But I do a ton of prenuptial agreements. So it's like always in my mind, I think to myself. Are these people going to make it or not?
And so, yes, I think it does give you a little bit of view into relationships, you know, which, you know, can be good and bad because sometimes you really want to vote for them, but you just know. But I'm a big believer in, you know, people working things out.
I think also, again, what I'm seeing now is a lot of people are much more evolved in the degree of being open to therapy, being open to, you know, recognizing emotional intelligence, recognizing how important communication skills are like that wasn't happening, you know, in the past. People kind of poo pooed that entire, you know, field, we'll say. And now I think people are much more open to it.
So I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful that even the people that come to my office and I can kind of, you know, prenup and I'm like, oh, you're not really talking to each other so nicely and you're not really hearing each other. They're going to get better. Like, I just believe it. And if not, I guess I'll end up back in my office.
There you go. Get them on both sides. So you just brought up something interesting that I've never asked. And I it's intriguing to me to prenup or not prenup. That is the question. Like, is it good? Is it bad? When should you do it? Is it immediate red flag when someone wants to discuss a prenup? Like, I have so many questions on prenups. I'm just going to start there first.
And I have a I have a follow up.
So prenuptial agreements, I mean, we do a ton, ton of them. I would say they're probably like 40% of my practice at this point. That said, I actually, I am a believer in them. And I'll tell you why. You definitely have people that come to me and say, well, I'm planning my divorce, the unromantic, all of these things. And I completely understand that. But there's a few things here.
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