Embracing Queer Identity & Healing from Bullying with Margaret Cho
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What does the host say about identity, representation, and belonging at the start of the episode?
Today's conversation contains mentions of sexual assault and suicide, so please take care and be mindful of who is listening with you.
As I started doing stand up really early, I got some success really quickly and these kids kids who would like bullied me would like come to shows and pay like VIP prices to get a meet and greet and wanna like take pictures and like remember when we were at school, I'm like I go no, I don't remember you. I don't know who you are. And I I they the the look of disappointment and shock in their faces and I'm like, you know, but you really don't want me to remember You really don't want me to remember you writing graffiti about me pick on the w the walls of the school. Why would you think that I would forgive that? Mm. Hey. Can I talk to you about something? I wish you knew.
I wish you knew how lonely Menopause felt.
I wish you knew why it's so hard for men to share their feelings. I wish you knew what it was like growing up in a low-income family.
I wish you knew how hard it was not having a college degree. I wish you knew what it's like to be me.
Welcome back to Mind If We Talk, where you get to be a fly on the wall for many therapy sessions and learn some mental health tips in the process. I'm your host, Srila Roy Green, a licensed mental health counselor with over 19 years of experience. In today's episode, I sit down with Margaret Cho, a trailblazing comedian with a career that spans more than four decades, including her 90s ABC sitcom All American Girl, and five Grammy nominated comedy albums. Margaret has been an inspiration and mentor to many comedians that came up after her, including Dylan Adler, who also joins us today. Dylan is a stand up comedian, writer, and actor who has written for the late late show with James Corden. In our conversation, Margaret and Dylan reflected on their distinct journeys with queer identity and shared how, as adults, they found ample support.
And a sense of belonging. Later in today's episode, I'm joined by Hope Giselle, a nationally recognized organizer, author, and activist. Hope made history in August 2023 as the first openly black transgender woman to speak at the March on Washington. She helped me break down the psychological impact of positive representation, how bullying shapes the nervous system, and how to start healing from something you were never taught to talk about. I am so excited for this one.
How does Margaret Cho describe growing up queer and feeling like an outsider?
So let's jump right in. Welcome both of you, Margaret and Dylan. Thank you so much for joining us today for Mind If We Talk. I want to start with you, Margaret. If you could go back and talk to your past self. What wisdom would you impart on that younger version of yourself?
I think it's always it's everything's gonna be okay. You know, I would always be very worried about what the future would bring and Um you know, I grew up in San Francisco. If there was gonna be a big earthquake. I w you know, like just weird where like walking standing in the doorway. Like you're just like always worried about things and like there were some awful things that happened for sure. You know, one of my very first traumas was Harvey Milk's assassination in nineteen seventy eight. The the tragedy of that, the needless tragedy of that. Um So shocking because he was such an important figure in my childhood and um You know, to go from that to the absolute The devastation of AIDS. You know that completely rocked the entire community that I was in.
It destroyed my family's business. You know, the the loss of life. And culture and people, just the friends that we love. You know, um so there were reasons, valid reasons to worry, but You know, now coming through it. I realize I didn't have to worry so much. I didn't have to be so scared because we're resilient as a community, as um Poor people, we are endlessly resourceful. And incredibly hopeful. And were able to rise. На видing аню. enemy of course with transphobia, which is um something that I'm really putting all my energy against. But I I think I I've learned to stop obsessively worrying.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
What does the host say about identity, representation, and belonging at the start of the episode?
0:00–2:30
2
How does Margaret Cho describe growing up queer and feeling like an outsider?
2:30–9:38
3
What experiences does Dylan Adler share about bullying and finding a supportive community?
9:38–19:08
4
How do the guests explain the role of LGBTQ+ representation in finding hope and confidence?
19:08–28:05
5
What advice do Margaret and Dylan give for navigating the coming‑out journey and reclaiming your story?
28:05–34:51
6
How does Hope Giselle discuss the importance of positive representation and creating safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth?
34:51–45:10
7
In what ways do the guests use creativity and humor to process shame and heal from trauma?
45:10–49:25