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Morbid

Listener Tales 111: Camping Tales

25 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?

0.031 - 27.297 Alaina Urquhart

hey weirdos i'm bigfoot and i'm mothman duh i actually can't believe you like macked on my man like that yeah it's crazy he belongs to everybody i feel News to me. News to me, Mothman. My costume didn't come in time. So pretend I'm Bigfoot. Yeah. I cricketed that. She made this for me. Mothman woman.

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27.397 - 29.199 Ash Kelley

Mothwoman. Mothmama.

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29.42 - 41.817 Alaina Urquhart

Mothmama. I love it. I also just like that you're wearing like Nancy from the Croft sunglasses. Yeah. I respect it. I'm excited for these. I was going to say, would you just wear those anyway? Yeah. Oh, and this is morbid.

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56.208 - 59.952 Ash Kelley

Yep. And it's Listener Tales, in case you didn't know why you were here.

60.032 - 66.78 Alaina Urquhart

It is brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you. All about you.

67.38 - 80.995 Ash Kelley

And this Listener Tale is camping themed. Which is why we are creatures of the forest. Camping is something I am unfamiliar with. And something I would never like to be familiar with again. You've camped before?

81.036 - 81.436 Alaina Urquhart

Like in a tent?

81.456 - 83.278 Ash Kelley

When I was younger. In a tent? Yeah.

Chapter 2: What camping experiences do the hosts share?

157.071 - 168.384 Alaina Urquhart

It was like a vehicle that you park in the woods and you sleep in. Like a nice one. And I got sleep paralysis there and I thought of the Blair Witch a lot. Valid. It was scary.

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168.464 - 177.23 Ash Kelley

I think that's so fair. Thank you. And if you're going to get sleep paralysis anywhere, it's going to be camping. Yeah. Or camping. I don't want to do it again. I won't be doing it again.

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177.531 - 178.192 Alaina Urquhart

Oh, I don't like it.

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178.292 - 179.275 Ash Kelley

I will not be doing it again.

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179.295 - 185.349 Alaina Urquhart

I don't belong sleeping outside. I don't like the woods. We just went into the woods and I stepped in poison ivy and now I'm really paranoid about it.

185.369 - 191.143 Ash Kelley

I mean, I love the woods. I like looking at the woods. And I like like a nice walk through the woods.

191.123 - 215.376 Alaina Urquhart

yeah and i loved you know i like hanging in the woods sometimes i don't what do you mean but i feel like it's it's whimsical it's vibey i haven't hung out in the woods since i was like a drunk teenager and like there you remember woods parties and yeah so that was the thing i actually referenced woods parties um during one of my live show segments oh there you go yeah that's funny oh woods parties were the best they were fun what i would give the woods

215.508 - 232.809 Alaina Urquhart

Yeah, that's fair. That's a good thing in the woods, but I'm not sleeping out there. Somebody would inevitably always say, the cops are coming! And everyone would run into the actual woods out of the clearing. Every time someone would yell cops. And the cops were never coming. They were never coming. Except the cops did come one time. They did come one time.

232.829 - 236.453 Alaina Urquhart

That one time they did come, but that wasn't my business.

Chapter 3: What warning signs should campers be aware of?

644.146 - 663.496 Ash Kelley

We got back to the camp kind of late that night, and Chago was pretty buzzed. This night was not so relaxing. With him being in a booze-induced bear-like hibernation, I felt alone and kind of scared. Aww. I don't blame you. Sarah. The forest was too quiet. Every little snap of a twig had my heart jumping. My dog either picked up on my anxiety or just felt the vibe.

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663.557 - 687.082 Ash Kelley

It was whisper, whisper, borking at every noise. I know. I love when they do that. I know exactly that whisper. Sometimes Dolo does it in her sleep. Yep. Something wasn't right. Not even the crickets were chirping like they were the night before. Dead silent. Now, I have a completely irrational fear of Bigfoot murdering me in my sleep. Scream. Scream. He said, you should scream.

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687.122 - 693.353 Ash Kelley

Yeah, yell, Sarah. That will make Bigfoot go away. Listen, we're misunderstood. But I feel like a scream would make you be like, oh.

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693.653 - 696.118 Alaina Urquhart

Yeah, I'd go away. I don't want to hear it. But like, I'm not going to murder you.

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696.158 - 699.203 Ash Kelley

Well, that's the thing. You hear a scream. You're like, oh, that was not my intention.

699.223 - 699.544 Alaina Urquhart

Sorry.

699.584 - 702.549 Ash Kelley

I didn't mean to upset you. It kind of bums me out. Yeah, of course.

702.589 - 703.931 Alaina Urquhart

I've always felt that way about Bigfoot.

703.951 - 723.063 Ash Kelley

I'm not trying to bother anyone. Yeah. Bigfeet. They just want to buy Bigfoot feet? Yeah, Bigfoot feet. I have a completely irrational fear of Bigfoot murdering me in my sleep while camping, and this forest was very squatchy, as the guys on the show Bigfoot Hunters like to say. I actually love that. How dare they hunt me? How dare they?

Chapter 4: What happens when the campers encounter a strange man?

772.05 - 777.277 Ash Kelley

You always have to. When you're walking or when you're alone in the car. Yeah, driving in the rain. Yes.

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777.838 - 778.599 Alaina Urquhart

Looking out the window.

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778.619 - 780.241 Ash Kelley

You are the main character.

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780.261 - 784.567 Alaina Urquhart

And your mom's Ford Taurus in the backseat. And here's the thing. Always do that.

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784.948 - 785.348 Ash Kelley

Forever.

785.408 - 786.69 Alaina Urquhart

It's called whimsical.

787.151 - 789.033 Ash Kelley

Be the main character of your own life, okay?

789.054 - 792.218 Alaina Urquhart

Whimsy up your life. And don't feel bad about it. Romanticize that shit.

792.238 - 793.8 Ash Kelley

Yeah, romanticize.

Chapter 5: What happens when the phones fail in the woods?

2614.665 - 2631.117 Ash Kelley

What? We had them turned off somewhere in our bags, and when Allie went to take a picture of the spring, her phone wasn't turning on. So naturally, Isaac and I also tried to turn on our phones, but none of them would turn on. I hate that. A little bit creepy, but maybe we could have the cold drained the battery or something. I don't think that happens.

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Chapter 6: How did they get lost while camping?

2631.097 - 2650.759 Ash Kelley

That evening, we tried to find a place to set up a tent, but the trees grew so close to each other that it was impossible to find a large enough area to pitch a tent. We hadn't walked that far from the spring, so we figured turning 180 degrees and walking back would be easy. After two hours, when we still hadn't found our way back, I started to get freaked out.

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2651.3 - 2669.236 Ash Kelley

Isaac and Allie started building a semi-functional shelter from the wind, and I went to try to figure out which way was the way back to the parking lot. I had to figure out which way was east. Oh, fuck that. How I would do that, I had no idea, since the sun had just set and you couldn't really see any stars or anything because the trees were in the way.

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2669.957 - 2677.07 Ash Kelley

That's when I heard something that sounded like a grown-ass man screaming. The way that you just dropped that.

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Chapter 7: What terrifying sounds did they hear in the forest?

2678.271 - 2682.595 Ash Kelley

He was like, yeah, it was so weird. It was crazy. It was starting to get a little. And that's when I heard the man screaming.

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2683.516 - 2689.661 Alaina Urquhart

That's how I know you're a man. Because if I heard that, I'd just sink into the earth. I'd sink into the earth.

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2690.042 - 2698.369 Ash Kelley

Like top of his lungs falling off a cliff without any safety equipment screaming. You know what happened? He found your freeze dried spaghetti.

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2701.693 - 2703.274

It's inhumane.

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2705.583 - 2717.438 Ash Kelley

I'm telling you. It did sound far off, but it still gave me goosebumps. I could still see Isaac and Allie. So I shouted to ask them if they had heard anything and they hadn't, which was super weird.

Chapter 8: What mysterious events occurred after they left the campsite?

2717.578 - 2731.516 Ash Kelley

What the fuck? Because I only stood like 50 meters, like 160 feet from them. And it was really loud. This is giving Blair Witch. Later. That's all I keep thinking of. Which one of you is going to throw the fucking map in the stream? Which one of you?

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2731.536 - 2732.177 Georgie Crawford

They don't have a map.

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2732.277 - 2734.86 Ash Kelley

Who is it? They already did that. God damn.

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2735.401 - 2760.345 Ash Kelley

oh later on we laid down to try to sleep isaac said he heard something walking in the forest like twigs snapping and footsteps pretty soon you're gonna have little handprints on your tent that part fucks me that part even just thinking about that i was like because the kids make some noise like they're lifting something oh stop no no i don't like to talk about it that noise sends me that movie is a masterpiece and they're not gonna do a good job remaking it

2760.325 - 2762.607 Ash Kelley

You can't remake it because you can't remake that marketing.

2762.728 - 2766.011 Alaina Urquhart

Also, the amount of people. I was there. You can't do it. I wasn't even there. And I know you can't.

2766.071 - 2768.994

And the amount of people being like, do we get to see the witch this time?

2769.154 - 2779.305 Ash Kelley

No, that was the scary part. No, you don't. It's like why The Strangers doesn't work in sequel form because you showed me The Strangers. I hate it. I don't want to see The Strangers. No.

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