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NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast

Debt in the Dating World and Retirement Planning for Entrepreneurs and Business Owners

10 Feb 2025

Transcription

Chapter 1: What financial red flags should you watch for in the dating world?

77.164 - 91.25 Elizabeth Ayoola

Oh, you must want me to be talking all day, Sean. But I'm proud to say that I'm now well versed in red flags, and they're no longer a carnival for me. So with that said, the last red flag for me was a guy I was dating calling my son a third wheel.

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92.805 - 93.005 Sean Pyles

Wow.

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93.366 - 101.111 Elizabeth Ayoola

And for good measure, I'm going to throw in another one. So I also met a guy who wanted to have more kids. He had six already, but he did not have a plan for more income.

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101.131 - 119.105 Sean Pyles

Wow. Well, I got to say, those make me glad that I'm not in the dating pool. Well, for some people, the amount of debt that you carry might just turn them away from dating you. Welcome to NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast. I'm Sean Piles.

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Chapter 2: How does debt influence dating prospects?

119.566 - 121.067 Elizabeth Ayoola

And I'm Elizabeth Ayola.

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121.84 - 129.244 Sean Pyles

This episode, we talk with a listener to help them figure out what their retirement might look like, including whether they should leave the farm that they built their life around.

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129.965 - 144.414 Elizabeth Ayoola

But first of all, we're talking about a new NerdWallet survey that tells us how much debt might make you seem like a walking red flag to a potential romantic partner. And we are joined by Sarah Rathner for this conversation. Hey, Sarah.

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144.914 - 151.498

Hey, everyone. Let's tell listeners how to avoid being a hot mess. Well, financially anyway, I can't help you if you're a hot mess in other areas of your life.

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151.84 - 156.342 Sean Pyles

All right, well, Sarah, tell us, how much debt makes someone undateable?

156.982 - 168.306

So on average, about $20,000. That's a lot, so it's pretty forgiving. And even more forgiving, a lot of people would actually be OK if their partner has any amount of debt.

Chapter 3: What financial traits make someone a desirable partner?

168.894 - 186.29 Sean Pyles

That really stood out to me in the survey. Nearly 40% of respondents said that they don't care how much debt their partner has of any kind. I found that kind of shocking because if I was dating someone and I found out they had a huge amount of debt due to discretionary spending, that would certainly make me question things.

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186.997 - 201.753

Me too, but I think what I'd also be looking for in a potential partner is what sort of plan they had for dealing with their debt. If they're paying it off, if they're not asking to borrow money from me, I mean, I would consider that a green flag or maybe at least a beige one.

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202.173 - 223.299 Elizabeth Ayoola

Yeah, I like that Sarah Beige flag. I think for me, I would be trying to gauge their money value. So are they in the trenches of their financial trauma? Also, do they have a basic understanding of their financial snapshot, like where their debt fits into that? And also, like you said, Sarah, a goal for getting out of debt. So for me, it would also be about what their expectations are for me.

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223.68 - 228.361 Elizabeth Ayoola

Are they expecting me to pay their debt off or contribute to it? I think those are some factors that would matter.

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229.045 - 242.155 Sean Pyles

And context is really important here too. If someone has a bunch of medical debt or student loans, I think that's easier to sympathize with because our educational and medical systems can sometimes force people into debt just to get by or to get ahead.

242.655 - 253.964 Elizabeth Ayoola

Absolutely. And because I'm a little empathetic, I think that would be a soft spot for me for sure. But beyond debt, what did this study have to say about how people weigh the financial management of a potential spouse?

255.183 - 264.796

85% of Americans say that financial responsibility is an important quality in a romantic partner. Hard agree with that, of course. I'm one of the 85% for sure.

264.876 - 266.859 Sean Pyles

Yes, I sign on to that.

Chapter 4: How can you improve your financial appeal in relationships?

267.868 - 283.816

What does that mean? What is financial responsibility in this context? So that includes things like living within your means, saving toward your goals, investing for the future. If you put it another way, few people are attracted to overgrown children who can't handle the logistics of their own lives.

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284.576 - 285.017 Sean Pyles

Go figure.

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285.437 - 291.68

Yeah, if that sounds pretty harsh, well, maybe this is a wake up call for some of you out there who can't handle the financial logistics of your own lives.

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292.262 - 303.856 Elizabeth Ayoola

I am seconding that and I had an ex who had this exact problem and it's one of the reasons he is an ex. So how can people maybe make themselves a little more financially appealing to a partner, Sarah?

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304.258 - 326.41

Well, as we've said, the fact that you're in debt for any reason is likely not going to hurt your dating prospects, which is a good thing because, like we also talked about, there are a lot of reasons why people end up in debt that have absolutely nothing to do with their character. But prospective partners like to see progress on financial goals. Are you making regular payments towards your debt?

326.731 - 339.496

Are you adjusting your spending habits to free up more of your cash every month to pay off your debt more aggressively? Those types of actions communicate to other people that you're not sticking your head in the sand. You are addressing your debt head on.

339.956 - 359.783 Sean Pyles

I also want to throw out there that sometimes debt can be a green flag. Like I, for one, have hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt with my mortgage. That's a good kind of debt that you would want to see someone have, especially if it's affordable in their budget. But the study mentioned some entertaining red flags and some green flags that people should consider in a potential partner.

359.963 - 361.163 Sean Pyles

Can you talk us through those, Sarah?

361.607 - 367.171

Yeah, and just because the red flags are entertaining from the outside, just when you're living it, it's not great.

Chapter 5: What are key retirement planning strategies for business owners?

448.141 - 456.949

And if they lie to you, it could actually be because they're a dishonest person, but it could also be because you can't handle the truth and they're afraid to tell you the truth.

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457.449 - 465.576 Sean Pyles

And this goes for all parts of a relationship beyond just money management, too. Remember that you and your partner are on the same team and do what you can to support each other.

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466.101 - 478.893 Elizabeth Ayoola

Exactly. I feel like it's always so romantic to me when I hear about couples who maybe started off with, I don't know, $200,000 debt and then they worked as a team and paid it down together. So I think that's a huge part of love too, like working towards goals together.

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479.554 - 488.042 Elizabeth Ayoola

With that said, we are about to turn to this episode's money question where Sean and Sarah talk with a listener about how they can plan for their dream retirement.

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488.493 - 496.971 Sean Pyles

But before we get into that, we are at one of my favorite parts of the show, the part where we ask you to take a second and think about where you need some guidance with your money.

497.759 - 524.693 Elizabeth Ayoola

And I'm betting a lot of you have received your W-2s or 1099s and other tax documents in the mail. And you're starting to wonder about filing your taxes this year. Hmm, talking to myself. We're working on an episode all about your tax questions, so let us know where you need help. Leave us a voicemail or text us on the Nerd Hotline at 901-730-6373. That's 901-730-NERD.

525.254 - 528.584 Elizabeth Ayoola

Or you can pop us an email at podcast at nerdwallet.com.

529.238 - 545.295 Sean Pyles

And a reminder that one of our goals on Smart Money this year is to talk with more of you live on the podcast to help you with your money questions. So if you want to hang out with Elizabeth and me for a bit and get some nerdy wisdom, let us know. One more time, leave us a voicemail or text us on the nerd hotline at 901-730-6373. That's 901-730-NERD or email us at podcast at nerdwallet.com.

552.532 - 560.825 Elizabeth Ayoola

All right, let's get to this episode's money question segment where we talk to a listener about their retirement goals. That's up next. Stay with us.

Chapter 6: How does an organic farmer plan for retirement?

625.601 - 646.881 Sean Pyles

Again, explore the Range Rover Sport at LandRoverUSA.com. We're back and answering your money questions to help you make smarter financial decisions. On this episode, we're joined by Smart Money listener Tenzin, an organic produce farmer, with some questions about how to plan their retirement and manage their business. Tenzin, welcome to Smart Money. TENZIN ZHANG Thank you. Glad to be here.

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647.537 - 659.088

Before we get started, I just want to remind you that everything we talk about today is just for educational purposes and is not specific financial advice. And while Sean is a CFP, he's not your CFP. So does that sound good?

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659.429 - 659.809 Sean Pyles

Definitely.

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660.249 - 660.91

All right, great.

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661.37 - 669.038 Sean Pyles

So to start, Tenzin, tell us a little bit about your life personally and financially. A lot of it revolves around the farm with your wife, right?

669.537 - 683.867

Yeah, that's correct. That's our primary and basically only source of income. We are both all in on the farm. As you might guess, it's a highly variable source of income. It changes a lot throughout the season. It changes a lot season to season.

683.967 - 692.153

And then there's a lot of little decisions made along the way that can multiply or ripple out and make a big difference throughout the course of any given season.

692.954 - 698.758

Tell us a little bit about the farm itself. So before we get into all the money stuff, give us an idea of your work.

699.437 - 718.07

We run about a 10 acre vegetable farm in north central Wisconsin. We have a very short manic growing season. So there's a high level of intensity. We've got about five employees on the farm. It's just kind of go, go, go between last frost of the spring and the first frost of the fall.

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