Not Your Mother‘s Book Club

CHRISTMAS BONUS: The Bull-Headed Man

31 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Bestiality, Incest, and Greek Mythology, oh my! We made a list and checked it twice and can now verify that ALL of our smutz are on the naughty list t...

HALLOWEEN BONUS: You Will Bounce On It

02 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Kefir, Jane Goodall, and Being Self-Aware, oh my! Boo! We'reeeee backkkkkk! Les-be honest... who didn't miss us? We heard your orgasmic screams from b...

HALLOWEEN BONUS: Madame Limp Gimp and Professor Se-man

31 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Smack, Smack, and Smack, oh my!  Make sure to say it three times cause you’ve never had a pumpkin spice cum shot like this before…seeds and all. ...

BONUS EPISODE: Swish and Flick ft. Olivie Blake

06 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Veggie tales, Veggie porn, and Vageggies, oh my! Calling all smuts for a very special surprise bonus episode! Who knew fanfiction could be this hot? M...

A Hypothetical Episode

21 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Shrimp, Fingers, and God, oh my!  Well put a “hypothetical” diaper on me and let me jump out a goddamn “hypothetical” window cause it’s the...

Wafty Pie

07 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Yeti’s, Bigfoots, and Housewives, oh my!  This week our clams are scared shut with Seduced by Big foot and Ravaged by the Yeti by E. Roche-Poesy. D...

The Girl with the Snakeskin Ankle Boots

16 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Cuts, Clubs, and Cum, oh my!  Have you ever seen a man barefoot in the club? If so, call 1-800 TAKE-IT-OUT-BACK.org. This week we’ve got cum seepin...

The Twelve Handed Man

02 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Prepped, Primed, and Primped, oh my!  HE’S A MURDERER! But he’s kind of cute… HE’S A MURDERER! But he got 12 hands. The one and only Lora Lei...

Ding Dong Derek's Dead

19 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Keep Sweet, Pray, and Obey, oh my!  Hold onto your Daddies cause Kayla Daniels is coming for them in the Mormon tale, The Daddy Trap. PBS kids said…...

Mein Eyes See Green

05 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Running, Ripping, and Relentless Tonguing, oh my!  He’s a green viking and she’s Billie Eilish. This week K.L. Wyatt’s Stolen by the Orc Comman...

Poop Dick

21 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Rylan, Wolf, and Malachai, oh my!  It’s giving vampire diaries meets beauty and the beast meets little red riding hood meets Rylan meets Twilight m...

Knock Knock

07 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Beds, Knobs, and Broomsticks, oh my!  Knock my knocker and call me Susan. We’re off our hinges this week as we read Unhinged by Vera Valentine. Who...

Gaggle of Gaggers

17 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Feral, Flaming, and Flourishing, oh my! Here’s the deal. You suggest a book. We’re gonna read it…and forget who suggested it. This week on Mikay...

Germans in a Tree

03 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Orchard-ers, Shaved Foreheads, and Maiden veils, oh my!  It took us 30 minutes to come up with a title for this episode so you better freaking enjoy ...

Deck-Her

18 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Dogs, Drugs, and the DEA, oh my!  It’s season 4 smutzzzzz! Get ready for a wild season of shenanigans and Mikayla’s sex life in unbearable detail...

HOLIDAY BONUS: Bears-a-Bleeding

24 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Birds, Eggnog, and 12-inch Tongues, oh my!  On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me…Railed by the Krampus by Dalia Davies. Just kiddin...

HALLOWEEN BONUS: Bootyhole Dress

29 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Peencers, Lipsticks, and Cervixisez, oh my!  Let us spin you a tale on this hallows of all eves. What has 6 legs, 4 arms, peencers, and a bootyhole w...

Mikayla Takes the Wheel (Pt. 3)

27 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Baby, Child, and Offspring, oh my!  YOUR ASS IS GRASS YA BASTARD! Welcome to the finale of Season 3! If you’ve made it this far... What’s wrong w...

Be Gay!

06 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Because I, Because you, Because we, oh my!  Shut up inner dialogue! This title may be misleading but…we don’t care. Deal with it. Have you ever b...

Yes, Daddy **UNLOCKED**

31 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Papa, Pa, and Pops, oh my! It’s the last DP episode of Season 2 and guess what smuts…your unanimous decision unanimated our pussies. Good job Jami...

Cooter Sling

23 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Wings, Claws, and Tats, oh my!  Watch your cholesterol! This man-se-ses is about to brine all up in here. King Henry is literally alive for 800 years...

THE Book

16 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ogres, Coaches, and Shame Wizards, oh my!  With a book cover like that…we were NOT prepared. We opened Pandora's box and our vaginas are not okay. ...

This Week on the Bachelor

02 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

In the name of the cowboy, the daddy, and the holy priest, oh my! Can I walk you out? Will you accept this rose? Can I steal you for a second? Is she ...

The Season of Seasoning

18 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Fish Food, Shark Men, and Stolen Identities, oh my!  Da Da…Da Da…Da Da Da Da DA DA DA DA DA!!! Shark Week came early this year, folks! Chum at th...

Hmm... why?

04 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

How, Dare, You, oh my!  Ever wondered what it would be like to be with a man that folds your clothes? Well get ready cause he’s defs gonna be sniff...

400°F

21 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Croissants, Eclairs, and Cannolis, oh my!  No whisk, no weward this week as we wead Her Pastry Shifters by Mia Harlan. Will her stiff peaks get your ...

The Edge of the Century

07 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Kidnapping, Lesbians, and Escorts, oh my!  We Googled “sexiest lesbian erotica” and The Night Off by Meghan O’Brien came up so that’s what we...

Nobody Loves Raymond

23 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Dead, dripping, and …disingenuous, oh my!  Ha Ha Heinous. The shit hit the vent this week as we read Going Public by Hudson Lin. Get ready to be ma...

THE P*nis

16 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Never The Same, Totally Unique, and Completely Not Ever Been Done Before, oh my! -Lady Gaga Get ready to get a heart boner cause this week we’re rea...

RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

02 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Senators, Centaurs, and Slime, oh my!  Tentacles are feet. Welcome to another episode of Not Your Mother’s Book Club where this week we are reading...

Gold Star

19 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Secretaries, Ex-Boyfriend’s Daddies, and Job Hunting, oh my!  This week we are finding the limit and playing within it. Yayy! It’s praise kinks! ...

Ballerina Vallerina

05 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Bowing, Mewling, and Arching, oh my!  The Gods have arrived and they are ready to fight for your vaginas…but only after global warming. Do you tast...

Jurassic My A$$

19 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Shotguns, Shower Heads, and Buttholes, oh my!  A dinosaur called Big Al walks into a bar. Knock Knock. It’s his 7 foot d*ck. Protect your extremiti...

The Boot of the Ball

12 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Serenity, Passion, and Surrender, oh my! Welcome back, smutz, to another season of chaos! Mikayla’s celibate and Dharma has a Southern drawl. What’...

HOLIDAY BLOOPERS

08 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Funnies, Out-takes, and Rants, oh my! New year. Same chaos.

HOLIDAY BONUS: The Book That Broke Us

25 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Magic, Mistletoe, and Moaning, oh my! You must have all been extra naughty this year to deserve what you're about to hear. Finishing off 2022 strong w...

HALLOWEEN BONUS: Earthbender

30 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Pebbles, Boulders, and Stones, oh my!  Happy Halloween you ghouls! It’s monster season so we’re bringing you Titan: A Gargoyle Daddy Dom Romance ...

Mikayla Takes the Wheel (Pt. 2)

16 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Winter, Buffets, and Livestock, oh my!  We ‘tis thee farewell. Leaving you with Jasmine Haynes’ Past Midnight. Will this throwback be just as goo...

Hey There Delilah

02 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Actions, Speak, Louder, oh my! This week we are listening to the lesbians. Join us as we read Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake. Th...

Geology Rocks!

18 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Men Written by Women, oh my! It’s our first regency novel of the season and Tessa Dare came to impress with A Week to be Wicked. Are we getting roma...

The Power of Jimmy’s P*nis

04 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Kegs of Lube, Penis Straws, and Espresso Shots, oh my!  This book claims “hilarious and erotic surprises”...we claim…BANKRUPTCY! Call the polic...

Cock-a-doodle-doo **UNLOCKED**

07 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

**Our generous Distinguished Patrons have deemed you all worthy and selected this EXCLUSIVE EPISODE to release for your pleasure. Enjoy!** Space, Plan...

Summer Announcement

10 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Your two favourite smutty ladies are taking a break for the next two months due to exciting things in our personal lives! Be sure to check back in in ...

Threesome Time, Eh?

03 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Beavers, Mounties, and Denim, oh my! Hope you’re all wearing your Canadian Tuxedo this week as we read Full Mountie by Ainsley Booth and Sadie Halle...

Forked For Her Pleasure

19 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Demons, Magicians, and a Girl, oh my!  This is the most vanilla sex scene we have ever read. There are no demons, forked tongues, or clawed hands of ...

I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up In A Tree

05 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Wizards, Dinos, and Mammoth Shafts, oh my!  It’s Pride Month Smutz and you know we’ve got something TINGLY in store for yall. Magic clits at the ...

HE HAS A GUN!

22 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Biting, Bleeding, and Boning, oh my!  Haunting Adeline by H.D. Carlton has officially left us both speechless.   CONTENT WARNING: consensual non-co...

Kiss Me, My Son

08 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Magic, Flying, and Typos, oh my! She’s a little bit boring and his name is Justin. Welcome to another episode Smutz! It’s Mother’s Day and we ar...

Bob’s Your Uncle

01 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Uncles, Cousins, and Estranged Nieces, oh no!  Join the confusion smutz! They say love is a battlefield but they never mentioned uncle porn. Well, it...

Res-Erected

17 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, OH MY!  The heavens have opened on this most glorious of days. Welcome to our special orgasmic Easter Sunday Episod...

Dangling by the D*ck

03 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Corn-Toes, Bunions, and Hooves, oh my!  APRIL FOOLS! Mikayla’s pregnant and riding a unicorn. No, we will not be taking questions at this time. Ins...

The Rotten B*tch

20 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Faeries, Curses, and Spell Check, oh my! It’s St. Patty’s Day Smutz! Make sure to grab your clovers cause you’ll need some extra luck this week ...

Giddy-on Out, Gideon

06 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Mirrors, Cracks, and Thumbs, oh my!  What do billionaires and vampires have in common? Book deals. Your smuts are back at it this week with Bared to ...

His Penis Has a Nubbin!

20 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ridges, Knobs, and Tails, oh my!  This week’s episode is ribbed for your pleasure. Join us as we read Ice Planet Barbarians by Ruby Dixon. Will thi...

The Cat Who Got Her Cream

13 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Texans, Fashionistas, and Plumbers, oh my!  We’re back Smutz! Fresh off the dick. Ready to please and traumatize our favorite smutz for another sea...

Season 2 Announcement!

25 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Premiers, Patreon, and Merch, oh my! Support your favourite mistresses and get so many perks in return! You can become a DP at patreon.com/notyourmoth...

Bonus: Holiday Special

26 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Donkeys, psychics, and sergeants, oh my! Ho, ho, ho, hoes! Happy Holidays to all our smutz. Hope you were all naughty this year. For this extra specia...

Bonus: Halloween Special

31 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Impaled, ballooned, and reflected, oh my! We're back, Smutz, and spookier than ever! Did you really think we'd abandon you on the sexiest holiday of t...

Episode 30: Mikayla Takes the Wheel

05 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Cars, Christ, and cum, oh my! Don't be sad smutz, for this too shall pass. This isn't goodbye, it's see you later. It's not you, it's us. We gotta go ...

Let‘s Have a Quickie: Ep. 14

01 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read a listener submission! We have titled it "Sunday Morning Cunnilingus." Enjoy, smutz!

Episode 29.2: Mon Cherry

29 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fluids, juices, and geysers, oh my! It's another episode of episodic episodes and some episodes. Thus marks the conclusion of all things corona virus....

Episode 29.1: Pink Surprise

29 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Finland, France, and flying, oh my! Guess who's back back back again? Did you really think we'd end the season without consulting the Ferret Queen her...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 13

25 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Warm N' Wet" by tweakmymeter. You can find more of their stuff at reddit.com/user/tweakmymeter

Episode 28: Someday My Prince Will C*m ft. Kennedy

22 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Crying, sobbing, and bawling, oh my! This episode will have you tearing up, smutz! Grab your box of Kleenex because Anne Rice will have you expelling ...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 12

19 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Pleasuring Erin on the Beach by Joseph Benson. You can find more of their stuff at josephbensonstories.med...

Episode 27: Breast Control

15 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Backs, thighs, and breasts, oh my! It's August, bitches, and the man of the month is half-naked and hammering your nail with audacity. Round of applau...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 11

11 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "House by the Creek" by Lush Luscious. You can find more of their stuff here.

Episode 26: Good Boy

08 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Growling, panting, and nuzzling, oh my! The dog days are over this week because doggonit, we found it. Master of Wolves by Angela Knight is sure to ge...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 10

04 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Enemies in the Woods" by claircupperotica. Find more of their stuff at wattpad.com/user/claircupperotica

Episode 25: The Pantie Slicer

01 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

TED Talks, elevator music, and the mafia, oh my! Please welcome to the stage, Spicy Italian Criminals! Hands up if you've ever had a sexy elevator fan...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 9

28 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Of Horniness and Highlighters: A Workplace Masturbation Story" by Kiki Wellington. You can find more of th...

Episode 24: The Silver-Tighted Dragon Slayer Man's Shaved Chest and the Curious Virgin

25 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Under-face, virgin sacrifice, and Ruby, oh my! Hope you missed dragon smut, 'cause we found a dragon in the basement this week and maybe some sex? We ...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 8

22 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read Her Name Was Lacy, Did Her Panties Match? by Katebriggswrites. Find more of their stuff at katebriggswrites...

Episode 23: It's Bridgerton, Bitches!

18 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fingers, mouths, and wanuses, oh my! Due to popular demand, we finally caved and will be reading The Duke and I by Julia Quinn, aka Bridgerton. We lov...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 7

14 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "First Time Making My Girl Lose Control and Squirt Everywhere" by BikerDaddy666. You can find more of their...

Episode 22: Thumbs Up

11 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Exorcisms, spasms, and government benefits, oh my! Thumbs at the ready smutz 'cause you'll be unable to speak after this long, hard, girthy, thick, di...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 6

07 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Lets Have a Quickie, we read "Truth or Dare" by Heather Kinnane. You can find more of their stuff at heatherkinnane.medium.com

Episode 21: Shannon the Moderate feat. Andree the Relentless

04 Jul 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Vikings, witches, and prophecies, all day! We've got another guest for you dirty smutz and she ain't here to play. Please welcome Andree the Relentles...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 5

30 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Voyeur" by Sarah Writes Smut. Check out more of their stuff at sarahwritessmut.wordpress.com

Episode 20: A Gentleman and a Scholar

27 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Orgasms, orgasms, and orgasms, oh my! Holy crap! Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles. We've made it to 20 episodes, smutz, and boy do we have a sur...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 4

23 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Claimed by the Mountain Man" by Kaia Bell. You can find more of their stuff at kaiabellxx.medium.com 

Episode 19: Damn Daniel

20 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Earth, Wind, and Fire, oh my! Do you want hot, supernatural sex? Do you want Russian dirty talk? Do you want fast-paced fucking? Well, Water Bound by ...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 3

16 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Neighbour Competition" by Daphne. Find more of their stuff at reddit.com/user/peachyy-keen/.

Episode 18: Chin-Chin feat. Grandmaman

13 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Clubbing, clapping, and coming, oh my! Cum one cum all and listen to the wise words of Grandmaman. We couldn't have picked a better first guest and we...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 2

09 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie we read "Sex on the Beach" by Autumn Seave. Check out their stuff at autumnseave.medium.com

Episode 17: Breaching the Breeches

06 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Pirates, promises, and pain, oh my! Argh me mateys! 'Tis land ahead! Welcome to our first and probably last pirate smut. Elizabeth August's Pirate Bri...

Let's Have a Quickie: Ep. 1

02 Jun 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This week on Let's Have a Quickie, we read "Heaven and Hell" by Carmine Edgewick. Check out more of their stuff at blissfultorment.bdsmlr.com

Episode 16: Mommy?

30 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Nuns, bounty hunters, and plumbers, oh my! There are too many cooks in the kitchen this week as we dive into Bobbi Smith's Sweet Silken Bondage. Don't...

Episode 15: Machine Gun Kelly

23 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Incest, stalkers, and Britney Spears, oh my! This is truly one of the most pointless books we've ever laid eyes on. Hope you're pumped up for an unnec...

Episode 14: Rub-a-Nub-Nub

16 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Strapless bras, professors, and journals, oh my! This week we unlock the professor/student fantasy. Everyone's had a lil' crush on their teacher at so...

Episode 13: A-man-da

09 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Mounds, mirrors, and dressers, oh my! Regency is back baby and this time she is here to stay! Get ready for Laura Lee Guhrke's Governess Gone Rogue. W...

Episode 12: Mikayla's Wet Dream

02 May 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Scotland, Scotland, and Scotland, oh my! Dharma whips out a new accent and Mikayla's panties fall to the floor, never to be seen again. If found pleas...

Episode 11.2: 175% Man

25 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Slurp, slap, and slosh, oh my! Poor Bill Johnso doesn't know what hit him and neither do you. Welcome back! This week we finish off Kissing the Corona...

Episode 11.1: Hot Doggin'

25 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sniffed, spaffed, and shlonged, oh my! Here we go again! You thought you could escape this apocalyptic nightmare but we were just warming you up. Read...

Episode 10.2: Green, Mean, Fucking Machine

18 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kittens, goats, and pythons, oh my! So you've come back for more? Hope you brought your beaker 'cause the end of this book will have you begging for a...

Episode 10.1: Pop Pop

18 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Tic-tacs, beakers, and waterslides, oh my! Somehow we made it to 10 episodes and to thank all of our loyal listeners we have decided to ruin your live...

Episode 9: Just Let Her Cum!

11 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Hurricanes, white panties, and ribs, oh my! Have you been missing some mansplaining in your life? Are you confused as to what feminism is? Then tune i...

Episode 8.2: With a Cherry on Top

04 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sundaes, Sundays, and Tuesdays, oh my! What day is it? Another episode? What is she putting on his dick? What has Mikayla been asking for? What accent...

Episode 8.1: My Grandma's Dragon

04 Apr 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Dragons, Flanges, and Ex-husbands, oh my! Join us this week as we read our second listener's suggestion, Dragon Heat by Allyson James. Who knew secret...

Episode 7: Snake-Eyes

28 Mar 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Volcanoes, aliens, and green nipples, oh my! Beam me up Scotty! Come and meet your UFO (Unidentified Fucking Object). This week, C.J. Barry takes us t...