Oh These, Those Stars of Space!

[Patreon Preview] Sax on the Bridge

28 Apr 2026

Contributed by Lukas

When a terrible theft occurs aboard the CSS Cavalier, it's up to three crack investigators- Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt), and...

[Patreon Preview] Bitter Somethings on Barrakar

26 Mar 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Something's rotten on Barrakar. Damn that would have been a good ep title too. Oh well! Scandal (Carly Monardo), Charity (Ali Fisher), and Single Chan...

[Patreon Preview] Tapestry

26 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

If you pull at one of the loose threads of your life, it can unravel the very tapestry of yourself. Even if your self is a robot named Threadcount-900...

[Patreon Preview] The Ones Who Visit Melas-One

29 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Ah, Melas-One. That beautiful, peaceful colony in the stars. Surely nothing lurks beneath this precious idyll. And even if there is, can Billy Onassis...

[Patreon Preview] Hard Die

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Deep inside the Cavalier, a team of terrorists has seized a bar, taken hostages, and declared war.One man has managed to escape...An on-duty mascot (B...

[Patreon Preview] Mirror, Mirror, On the Star... Part Two: Who's the Darkest Mirror of All?

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

THE MIRROR SHATTERS! With our heroes Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher), Liberty Bal...

[Patreon Preview] Mirror, Mirror, On the Star... (100th Episode!)

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What lies on the other side of the mirror? What if it was not a perfect reflection of your normal, hot self, but something...darker?? In this episode,...

[UNLOCKED] C.B. the Cool-Baby

22 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

UNLOCKED! On the eve of the release of Oh These, Those Stars of Space's landmark 100th episode, we're freeing our 99th episode from behind the paywall...

[Patreon Preview] C.B. The Cool-Baby

26 Sep 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When a mysterious visitor arrives aboard the CSS Cavalier, will Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), and Chestershire (Al...

[Patreon Preview] The Nintendo Switch 3- Mootant Massacre

27 May 2025

Contributed by Lukas

With our heroes Threadcount (Christopher Hastings), Mitzi (Ali Fisher), and Vestavia (Carly Monardo) trapped by Dr. Genesis (née Aldo Nintendo) and h...

[Patreon Preview] The Nintendo Switch 2- MmmBop

25 Apr 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Trapped! In the 90s?!?!Mitzi (Ali Fisher), Vestavia (Carly Monardo), and Threadcount (Christopher Hastings), find themselves trapped in 1996 Los Angel...

[Patreon Preview] The Nintendo Switch- Part 1

27 Mar 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Vestavia (Carly Monardo), and Mitzi (Ali Fisher), are sent to investigate Darkmoon Deep Science Station a...

[Patreon Preview] The Voyager

27 Feb 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When a mysterious visitor...traveller... Voyager arrives on the CSS Cavalier, he seeks to learn all he can about this little starship where we lay our...

[Patreon Preview] Defending Your Holy Life

30 Jan 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When a new spot opens up in a prestigious Choir of Space Angels, Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) is summoned from the CSS Cavalier to Space Heaven to see if...

[UNLOCKED] The Mysterious Matter of Ted Crount

26 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

UNLOCKED! As a special year-end treat, we're releasing one of our most popular episodes this year from behind the paywall! Enjoy to your heart's conte...

[Patreon Preview] Cube of Terror

19 Dec 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Vanguard Internal Affairs Officer Hank Pissed (Joe Lepore), arrives on the CSS Cavalier, he summons two top agents, Scandal (Carly Monardo) and C...

[Patreon Preview] The Ship Before Time

26 Nov 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Boboli (Carly Monardo), Single Chance (Tim Platt), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), find themselves on an ancient starship, they find themselves i...

[Patreon Preview] A Very Long Minute (With Ryan North)

25 Oct 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Ah yes, just another typical day aboard the CSS Cavalier for crewmembers like Vestavia (Carly Monardo), Gelmire Lysdander (Tim Platt), and Dr. Dewey (...

[Patreon Preview] The Mysterious Matter of Ted Crount

26 Sep 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When ship systems begin to go strangely awry aboard the CSS Cavalier, Engineer Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Groomda (Tim Platt) have little ch...

[Patreon Preview] Walk Like an Ungyptian

29 Aug 2024

Contributed by Lukas

THE NEPHEWS RETURN!But will they all survive? Or will an encounter with the mysterious Jaish Al-Ghost (Joe Lepore) and his hunt for a mysterious artif...

[Patreon Preview] Call Me Ugly

26 Jul 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Fresh out of a brief stay in Sick Bay, Coyote Ugly (Branson Reese) returns to active duty, on a seemingly simple mission with Dr Dewey (Christopher Ha...

[Patreon Preview] In Tealest Light

27 Jun 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Werimether (Christopher Hastings) creates a new holozone program, the whole crew gets swept up by his fictional English Village: Little Tooting. ...

Special Announcement from the OTTSS Crew

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Hello, Dear Audience!   It's me, Joe Lepore- the one who says 'Wow' at the beginning of every episode, with a special announcement. Are you sitting ...

Moon of the Cats

30 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Ship's Dentist and most-humanoid cat person Dr Surgery (Branson Reese) invites fellow feline officers Chestershire (Ali Fisher) and Marvin Blond ...

[Patreon Preview] How to Not Get Blown Up from the Inside

24 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Boboli (Carly Monardo), Guy Normal (Branson Reese), and ship's Olympian Gene Lime (Tim Platt) meet two alien species that just can't get along. Who wi...

The Nighttime Society of Dreamweavers

16 May 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) is-what else?- dreaming, when he summoned by former foe Snoozebo (Joe Lepore) of the Cavalier to aid him in a dangerous que...

The Old Ship

25 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When the Cavalier receives a mysterious distress signal, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Billy Onassis (...

[Patreon Preview] Justice... and/or Discipline

19 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) brings Scandal (Carly Monardo), Groomda (Tim Platt), and Chestershire (Ali Fisher) to the idyllic world ...

The Planet with No Chocolate

12 Apr 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Just when he thought it was safe in the Galaxy, Delicious Donald (Branson Reese) arrives in his personal hell. Meanwhile, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Mona...

These Those Spring Special: Trek Draft!

28 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Spring has sprung, so it's no better time for a seasonal special, baby!! Join Joe, Ali, Chris, and Branson as they draft their dream Trek bridge crew,...

[Patreon Preview] Hiss the Bride

22 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) is tasked with planning the Bachelorette Party for Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), she naturally invites Mer...

Cold Case

14 Mar 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When the CSS Cavalier crosses paths with a centuries-old human spacecraft, Groomda (Tim Platt), Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and Bubbsriel (Carly ...

[Patreon Preview] Groundroach Day

29 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

What would happen, one wonders, if that villainous mastermind Darkly Gameover (Joe Lepore), hacked into the CSS Cavalier holozone to create a series o...

Sown the Future Part Two

23 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

Reeling from the events of last episode, Begonia Bloodterror (Chris Hastings) and his time-travelling companions Vee (Carly Monardo) and Oberon Coaxia...

Sown the Future

16 Feb 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When ship's Tactician Begonia BloodTerror (Christopher Hastings), is brought to the future by some time-lost compatriots Vestavi-er, Vee, and Oberon C...

Scandal and Charity's High School Reunion

25 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity (Ali Fisher) are summoned to their High School reunion, will they recapture the glory of youth? Rekindle old ...

[Patreon Preview] A Ship in a Pocket

19 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

In order to pass through a dangerous Correxian checkpoint, the CSS Cavalier is shrunk down to the size of a coin, and escorted secretly by Dr. Dewey (...

Hyperlift Lost

11 Jan 2024

Contributed by Lukas

When Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), get stuck in a hyperlift aboard the CSS Cavalier, eve...

These Those Holiday Special: Alien Draft '23 with Joe, Tim, and Carly!

28 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's a bird! It's a plane! No...it's a podcast!It's the end of the year, and as we kick back and relax, Joe, Carly, and Tim gather round that cosmic f...

[Patreon Preview] Showdown at Prosperous Chasm

21 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Ship's Cat Chestershire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese), need emergency...

The Grand Oomda

14 Dec 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It seems like a pretty typical day for the CSS Cavalier's chief scientist/tentacle monster Groomda (Tim Platt), until a mysterious figure from Groomda...

AbNormal

30 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

The holidays have arrived at the CSS Cavalier, so naturally Ship's Event Planner Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) is on hand to host a preview of Delicious Do...

[Patreon Preview] "The Chesterfields are Dying Left and Right!"

17 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes, dear listener, family reunions aren't 100% joyful. I know this may come as a shock to you, all the more reason you'll relate to Meredith Ch...

Perchance to Snooze

09 Nov 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Guy Normal (Branson Reese), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Boboli (Carly Monardo) settle in for a peaceful night's sleep, little...

Mission Accomplished

26 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When our three Mages- Deremeth (Ali Fisher), Werimether (Christopher Hastings), and Jodge the Middle Mage (Carly Monardo) find themselves sent to a pl...

[Patreon Preview] Connect The Botz

19 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

By the end of this episode, you'll be like "Rip Van Winkle? More like Rip...Van...Twinkle Toes!"DRAMATIS PERSONAEBubbsriel (Carly Monardo)Pluto Cloud-...

The Lake Beast

12 Oct 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Down on an alien world, ambitious ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), finds himself on a bit of a wild Goose chase when trying to form a Triumvirate ...

These Those September Special: Talkin' EXTRATERRESTRIALS with Joe, Chris, and Branson!

28 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Even Groomda needs a break sometimes! Instead of a classic These Those adventure, Joe "Close Encounter" Lepore, Christopher "Area 51" Hastings, and Br...

Hint

14 Sep 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Gelmi-ahem, Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) is invited to an exclusive dinner party at the mansion of video game madman Darkly Gameover, how can h...

To Taste Success

24 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ship's Junior Mortician Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo) discovers the perfect wedding gift for Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Meredith Chest...

[Patreon Preview] The Prince and the Tentacle

17 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When a Vanguard Tentacle Expert arrives on the ship, Groomda (Tim Platt) can't be far behind. And when that Tentacle Man has an old friend aboard- Hel...

The Purple Excellence

10 Aug 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Begonia (Christopher Hastings) are put off at first when they meet the grim and mysterious photographer Lestecheth Felderm...

Bovine Alley

27 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Sacre Bleu...cow?? When Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), grizzled veteran Klaus Kitski (Branson Reese), and ship's Translator Très Bien (Tim Platt) ...

[Patreon Preview] Tale as Old as Space

20 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When Junior Mortician Vestavia (Carly Monardo), Ship's Agent Billy Onassis (Branson Reese), and Mage of Ill Portent (Christopher Hastings), find thems...

Future Days of Present Past

13 Jul 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When plucky Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), ship's ENT Dr, Dewey (Chrisopher Hastings) and junior mortician Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monard...

Flower Power

22 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When the Flora Regnant of Angio Prime falls gravely ill, ship's tactician Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) is whisked away from the Cavalier...

[Patreon Preview] Bright Lights, Ring City

15 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

On a critical mission for the CSS Cavalier, Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and his bodyguards Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity Mesterfield (Al...

The Lost Boy or: A Delicious Day

01 Jun 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Having finally earned a promotion, Ensi-er, Lieutenant Junior Grade Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) leads a crack team including Blooperno Illion (Christoph...

The Nephews

25 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

50th Episode! When a mysterious warning is issued for Deck 52, brothers Rupert (Christopher Hastings), Dupert (Carly Monardo), and Poopert (Branson Re...

[Patreon Preview] Spacemellow Hollow

12 May 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When a mysterious door appears before three Cavalier crewmembers, they find themselves freed from the hustle-bustle of the galaxy. Each is faced with ...

Incident on the Humphrey

27 Apr 2023

Contributed by Lukas

It's probably Gelmire.With Ali Fisher as Charity Mesterfield, Branson Reese as Guy Normal, Carly Monardo as Scandal, Christopher Hastings as Dr. Dewey...

Fightstar

30 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Every 8 years, the deadliest lifeforms of the galaxy gather to determine the next champion. The Great Tournament is secret. Deadly. Illegal. Kind of h...

[Patreon Preview] The Legend of Sleepy Fellow

23 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Though beloved members of our heroic crew, sometimes officers Clare President (Taylor Moore) and Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) can feel like outsiders. A...

Gigantix

17 Mar 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Gigantix. The name itself causes hearts across the galaxy to flutter with wonder and adventure. The ship of dreams. The voyager of miracles. The Jewel...

Collector's Edition

28 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore). Dr. Thomas Dewey (Christopher Hastings). Groomda (Tim Platt). Three of the finest officers to ever serve aboard the Cava...

Yonder Stormzone

21 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

A hunt for a fresh navcomputer leads Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), and Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore) to MaxMax-3, a ...

[Patreon Preview] Top of the Computer To Ya

08 Feb 2023

Contributed by Lukas

When the crew of the Cavalier discovers a shipwreck in deep space with ties to their past, you won't be shocked to learned they send an away team to c...

The Normal Show

31 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Ah, Starhaven. A simple, happy community, and the perfect place to raise a family, like loving siblings Groomda (Tim Platt), Baron Baudelaire (Taylor ...

[Patreon Preview] The Wa of Aqua

24 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

While the crew mourns a fallen comrade, duty still calls for Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), and Clare President (Ta...

Mothers and Brothers

13 Jan 2023

Contributed by Lukas

Following the discovery of a long-lost android brother, Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings) works tirelessly to revive this unexpected family link,...

[Patreon Preview] What's My Mage Again?

28 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When their old Professor pays a visit to the Cavalier, Deremith, the Mage of Good Fortune (Ali Fisher), and Werimether, the Mage of Ill Portent (Chris...

Yuletide Kombat Family: CHEF EDITION

22 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Yuletide Kombat Family is a game where holiday themed characters fight to save Christmas. This time, however, the These Those crew puts a whole new sp...

Missionary Impossible

09 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's high stakes on the Illegal Moon of Scrutum-6, where adventurers Cheredith Mesterfield (Ali Fisher) and her trusty Spacehorse Scandal (Carly Monar...

Game, Cube

01 Dec 2022

Contributed by Lukas

With errands to run, Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Vape Salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore), hope to squeeze in a little fun while on ...

Backdecks

23 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When the Cavalier's most-eligible Bachelorette, Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo), crosses paths with its most-affianced ensign, Gelmire Lysande...

[Patreon Preview] See You in Hell

10 Nov 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When a Vanguard Commbadge is detected on the dangerous and mysterious planet Lucifar, it's up to Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore) and Billy Onassis (Br...

Brothers and Sisters

25 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When routine maintenance uncovers something deep in the Cavalier's computer core from a fallen comrade, it's up to Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), Threa...

The Little Bambinos

12 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ship's Tactician Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) is a master strategist. But all his plans are thrown out the window when two small urchins...

[Patreon Preview] New Moon

04 Oct 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Ship's ENT Doctor Dewey (Christopher Hastings), his wife, Documentarian Ilse Schlacht (Carly Monardo), and Vape Salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moo...

Footsteps

06 Sep 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When the Vanguard receives a surprise message from a reclusive world somehow associated with feet, it's up to Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), ...

[Patreon Preview XXL] In Which All Present Members of the Casketshowroom Family Discuss Their Personal Dynamics and Perspectives on Love During a Shopping Trip etc. etc.

01 Aug 2022

Contributed by Lukas

"...Family Members including Tuscaloosa Casketshowroom (Taylor Moore), Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo), and Froglevel Casketshowroom (Ali Fish...

Information War Part Two

18 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Captured at the end of the last episode, hopes for our heroes grow dim as the clock ticks towards their scheduled rendezvous. Gelmire Lysander (Tim Pl...

Information War

06 Jul 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Behind Enemy Lines, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) leads a crack team including telepathic agent Blooperno Illion (Christopher Hastings) and mild-manner...

[Patreon Preview] A Tablespoon of Danger

27 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

PREVIEW: The Vanguard presents gaseous crewmate Clare President (Taylor Moore) with his first opportunity to eat, and along with the meal sends as an ...

The Jungle Book

06 Jun 2022

Contributed by Lukas

With the Cavalier's Hyperwarp Drive out of commission, grizzled veteran Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore) assembles a crack team including ship's contraria...

The Wreck of the Young Professionals

10 May 2022

Contributed by Lukas

After a scheduling error in the holozone leads Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), ship's Pet Chestashire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Body...

The Modern Prometheus

21 Apr 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), and sh...

Down and Out on Xanadu Hard

29 Mar 2022

Contributed by Lukas

It's vacation time as the Cavalier makes a pitstop at legendary pleasure planet Xanadu Hard. But when pilot Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore) has a dangero...

Little Help Part Two

28 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

PART TWO (OF TWO)- Following the shocking events of last episode, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and a critically...

Little Help

14 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

When a routine medical exam goes horribly awry, Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), and Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), f...

The Contest

21 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

While headed off to a routine mission, Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore), Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and ship pleasure droid Don Valentino (Branson ...

Mystery in Hudfar Village

31 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

An already exciting occasion in sleepy Hudfar village is made all the more momentous when three mysterious strangers arrive in town. With no knowledge...

Crisis on Luthlex-7

14 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When an isolated planet with fantastic technology and beloved wines stands on the brink of destruction, it's up to Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastin...

Vanguard Nights: 2021 Thanksgiving Hangover Special

28 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Far from the the light of the Cavalier, these are those VANGUARD NIGHTS: apocrypha, ephemera, and straight up goofins' "in" the "world" of Oh These Th...

LIVE: Man Moon Rising

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Heads up DUDES! It's the audio from our first (FREE for Patrons)  live stream: MAN MOON RISING. Liberty Balboa, Mitzy, Gelmire, Threadcount and Legs ...

King of Queens

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Hear Ye, Hear Ye! A mysterious structure from the distant past appears off the bow of the Cavalier, and Ensign Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), Father Matth...

Overtime

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

After the first two minutes of this episode, you might think there's nothing but silence for the next 60 minutes. BUT KEEP LISTENING. I promise it's w...

Bride and Vroom

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When an old "friend" of Baron Baudelaire interrupts a wedding planning party, Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher) Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and the ...

These Electric Kings, These Digital Lords!

03 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Following a party in the Engine Room, pilot Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore) calls Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Threadcount 900 (Christopher Hastings...

Bound by the Limelight

23 Aug 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In the middle of rehearsal for a new play, the crew of the Cavalier is blinded by a strange and powerful blast of light from a nearby planet. Can the ...