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Chapter 1: How did Danny O'Donoghue cope with the death of Mark Sheehan?
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We were both doing really well. Three kids, wife, beautiful family. Just for that to just be whipped away, bang, gone now. What am I going to do when the best part of me was always you? It's unfair. I'm angry at Mark now. It's just weird. Why am I angry? I'm angry at him for not being here. When my dad died, I had Mark. But now Mark passed away, I don't have anybody.
I want no real love till I've loved and I've lost. He wrote that verse and now I'm singing it about him.
Today, I'm very, very excited to welcome The Script's Danny O'Donoghue to the fucking studio.
Yeah, let's go.
That's amazing.
How are you?
Good to be here, dude. We need to maybe address the elephant in the room.
Oh yeah, the giant black eye. So I was sparring an hour and a half ago. I was like, I'll get myself all fresh before I come down and hit the podcast. And yeah, I let my hands down, drop down in round seven. And I got absolutely pinged. I was down with the pros this morning as well. So I just got absolutely hammered.
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Chapter 2: What challenges did Danny face during his early music career?
Released the first single. tanked, never heard of again, dropped from the label and then you're back at square one. And how old were you then? I probably would have been a washed up pop star at 18. Fucking hell, dude.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
I mean, I remember your video. You and Mark would have been like, you were 16, right?
Yeah, he would have been about 18. Right, okay.
Because I mean, when I met James, I was like, we were both like 15, 16. And we were obsessed with everything pop. Yeah, yeah. We would like study songwriters. We would just idolize these things. So we knew every fucking band. Yeah, of course. Same as you did. Everything that's tipped to be big. You know, same as you. Yeah, of course. So I know you guys.
That's hilarious. I remember the video. Yeah, I remember the video. Also, you can go and check it out on YouTube. Motorbikes and foyers and things. That's right, yeah. Britney Spears had that video had just kicked off and she's wearing the schoolgirl outfit. Yeah, yeah. So when they said to me, you've got half a million to blow on a video, what do you want to do?
I was like, let's do it in a girls' school. So we did it. So it was like all of us boys were trying to... The whole thing was like, what if we snuck into a girls' school at the weekend kind of thing? We don't really get away with that stuff now, do you? But back then it was great. So yeah, we did that. And then... Yeah, I mean, we did everything. We did the Smash Hits roadshow.
We were on the kind of same year as when Westlife were on it. But they just had it sewn up. I mean, Louis Walsh managing them. You know, the dark arts that kind of go on around that area. But, you know, fair play to the lads. They did brilliant. And while their star was going up, we just completely plummeted into the ground. And kind of went, like I said, we washed up around 18, 19.
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Chapter 3: How did Danny's dyslexia diagnosis impact his life?
Yeah.
And there's kind of breaks that you have in between it to look back on and go... well what did I do during that time you know there's like I remember you said on one of your podcasts you're like there's what days you don't remember there's some years I don't remember in my life I'm like I totally am on the same page because I think what people forget is around that time 2008
heyday in music, you know, CDs are still selling, there's money everywhere, drugs everywhere, alcohol, women, whatever you want, it's all there for you. In fact, it's encouraged. In fact, it's, you know, like I said, dude, like, we were like, oh, who's going to take the caner of the year off you?
Of me, yeah.
Do you know what I mean? Like, I was trying, I was trying very hard, but you were right out in front of me, you know? Yeah. But it's, and... It's mad to think back and look at that stuff and go, how were we held up on pedestals for doing that stuff, knowing the outcome? And I kind of feel like sometimes the press look at you and go, oh, here's one. Here's one.
If we poke them hard enough and for long enough, this is a car crash waiting to happen. And so let's do it because people love a car crash. They slow down for a car crash. And I think that gets into selling, you know, selling mags and selling rags and all that kind of stuff. And it's interesting the ones that they do kind of pick.
But I'm glad now that, you know, kids these days, I don't think they don't have that same kind of class, suicidal idols. They don't have that same want and gusto. A lot of them are about health. A lot of them are, you know, they don't drink alcohol.
probably maybe because of COVID or something they just like lost the social buzz of going out into a pub or finding that sense of community you know but yeah I was talking to my kids about it my daughter's like 16 now she goes to a party she came back drunk one night I had a bit of a chat I was trying not to freak out I was like she's not me it's okay
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was talking to her about it. She's like, well, most people don't want to get drunk because they don't want to end up on cameras. Wow, yeah, yeah. When we were kids, like, no one cared. You know, we'd just get drunk, puke, you know, whatever, like, it was fine. It was kind of like part and parcel. But imagine if, like...
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Chapter 4: What role did therapy play in Danny's recovery journey?
Yeah.
When the best part of me was always you. Oh mate. Do you know what I mean? So it's a tough situation to be in to go, well, I'm here and this is the middle of our life now. And now it's almost like, I'm angry at God. I'm angry at me. I'm angry at everybody. I'm not like, what, what happens? Like, what actually happens? How did, he's in the prime of his life. What went on? And how is he now?
He's not here. And we're all here.
And we've worked so hard to get to this moment.
Yeah. And he worked hard, you know, he worked hard. He worked hard and he worked hard for himself and he worked hard for me. Do you know what I mean? And it's unfair. I guess a lot comes into question at that point.
You know, you lose him and you're so tied up in everything musical is with him.
Do you see me? I'm already getting a fit. Can you see me, buddy? I'm already getting a fit. You know what I'm saying? I'm getting like, all right, can I have something? Can I get a pillow here or something? Can you get me a pillow? I've been trying to study that body language stuff. I've been feeling a bit... Because of the journey I've been on, there's certain things, right? PTSD, right?
I don't know if you know much about it. But when I start talking about, let's say, Mark... the room kind of closes in a little and then all that's left is like your head is focused and it's, it's really strange because when, and there's only certain subjects I deal with, he's one of them.
So I'm dealing with this with my therapist at the minute to like, right, find out what, put a name on it and it is, it's post-traumatic stress disorder of, of my body's physicality. Like you can see my body going like this in real time and like I said, anybody who feels that has ever felt it, go and, go and get tested man because it's,
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Chapter 5: How did addiction affect Danny's relationships and career?
And I was dating my now wife at the time. Just started this... two months before COVID. And then we got, you know, crammed together for the two years. It was beautiful. But then we kind of got back out. Then Mark passed away. And I think I carried over some of that COVID energy of like, let's go mental. And, you know, it's like, oh, well now nothing matters anymore. So I went down a dark hole.
I've always been like manic depressive. So I've always had like massive, oh, everything's amazing. Then other things are really bad. Never, never thought about suicide. Nothing like that. I wouldn't, I've never gone to that dark place. But I did feel this real sense of like, I wanted to really get out of it. Like, I just want to not be here.
Not kill myself, but I just don't want to be in this reality. Let me go to another reality, like some other dimension where things are warped.
Being present in life is too painful. So let me get somewhere else. Give me another life. Yeah, give me... Let me go oil two, oil three.
Let me look on the oils until I see... Oh, I like this one. This is where all the alcohol is. Cool. And I felt... I tried to telegraph and one day I was sober and I was like, let's just talk to a therapist, right? You know, I was saying that to myself. You know, I was like, let's just talk to a therapist. Are you sure? Yeah, let's just do it because...
You can have a bit of fun, but then if it gets too much, maybe you need somebody by the ankles who can pull you out. And I talked to a therapist and we got on amazingly well. And he'd been through a lot of the similar stuff that I had. So I felt in a safe space to be able to open up enough that I could tell him about the times I was partying. Also getting advice on things to look out for.
I knew grief. I knew this was going to bottleneck at some point and going to hit me bad. So I didn't cry through most of the funeral. You know, I spoke at the funeral. I sang at the funeral. Yeah. And I didn't cry. It's very unlike me. I mean, I'll just, you know, I mean, I'll cry at a Disney movie. I'm super hyper emotional. And I was like, this is going to go bad.
And then I, like I said, a mate of mine gave me a number of a therapist. And it was, it has changed my life. Absolutely. From that moment, something happens where I was working, you know, I was still on tour and I was still doing things, but I'd had this anchor of a person who I was able to offload and dump everything
all of the crazy stuff that I've been thinking of during the week, all of the anger. I'm angry at Mark now. It's just weird. Why am I angry? I'm angry at him for not being here. It's not his fault. All these different things and now I'm sad for me. I'm sad for his family. I feel like I need to do more for the family. I feel like I'm not doing enough and all of these mad feelings and emotions.
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Chapter 6: What are the emotional struggles Danny faced after Mark's passing?
What are the rules? Okay, you know. And David Goggins, how did he do it? And just like looking at all these things for ways and means of how to... looking for a way of how can I get through this?
But I got back and my first therapy session after I got back and he's sitting down and, and I, you know, you can see yourself on the, on the zoom, you know, and I'm looking at me and I'm like, he knows I'm fucked.
Yeah.
He knows. I know. why don't you just fess up here? And I was like, in my head, I was just like, you got to tell him. I was like, no, you got to fucking tell him. And some dude just literally jumped out at me and went, he got fucked in Christmas. Like, I didn't even know I was saying it. I'll say that, but without cursing.
It's like some dude, I just looked out and went, he got wrecked at Christmas. And I was able to go back in
to my own mind and I was like I can't believe I just ratted on myself yeah I just what are you like what are you thinking here like I just ratted myself out yeah so my therapist was like okay and he's like well look it happens this happened you know we worked on it and went through it and I was like I finally said it I finally told on myself and from that day because we'd done the work up until that point about six months worth of work
to recognize when I'm trying to hide, I'm trying to do all this flash stuff and trying to hide. And then I just called it out. And I was like, no, the only thing that's going to set you free is the truth. The only thing. And from that moment on, I told them everything. And I thought I'd been in therapy for a few months beforehand. Nah, bro, I wasn't even getting started.
Like it was then I was like, oh, we can be...
we can be truthful now like alright let's go get the gloves on like let's go so I found it just the most the most amazing time I started going to I tried to get myself on a schedule and I needed to get up in the morning I needed to put my phone away because I'm a very addictive personality I get addicted to absolutely everything you know we were talking before I'm the best I want to be the best at everything let's go if it's drink let's go if it's music let's go yeah
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Chapter 7: How has Danny's perspective on life changed since getting sober?
And then he was trying to get the bus home, but the bus driver wouldn't let him on. And he had no money. And then he started walking in the direction of home. But he wasn't wanted at home because his parents didn't want him there anymore because he was an alcoholic. And so I ended up writing about that story.
And it was like a cathartic moment where the hairs and we're like, you know, it's because it's the truth. You know, it's someone else's truth, but it's a collective truth that we all share. That me, you, you know, family members, everybody shares this
if we're that close you know I heard you talking about like that beer is like if I have that one that's the gateway to remorse and you know we're always on that on the verge of that and you have to be prepared for that at all at all costs you know and I think people can be quite scared by that like or people find that quite um
I know people who don't know about this. I meet friends who I haven't seen for a while. You're okay now, right? I am. I'm one beer away from being fucked again. They're like, what? Really? You think you'd be that? And I was like, I know so. I've tried it too many times and been unsuccessful at it to not know that truth now.
When you stopped drinking, did you think you were stopping or did you think you were taking a break?
I thought I was taking a break. I convinced myself that stopping was too hard.
Yeah.
And I needed to take a break, but it was the perfect thing for me to do. Yeah. I was like, you know, because sometimes when you're sitting there and you can fool yourself, you're sitting there praying to God and you're like, you really mean it. Somewhere in the back of your head, you're like, uh, Just get me through this situation.
Straight back on it again. Straight to the pub.
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Chapter 8: What insights does Danny share about creativity and mental health?
Couldn't ever make anything work. Just because I didn't know how to structure anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What was mad with me was when I got diagnosed, they were like, they told me about the priority system in it. And that is like, okay, there's the tap is running, the house is on fire, the bill needs to be paid, or there's an itch on your leg. All of them are the same priority for someone with ADHD.
and it's like I don't have a priority system it's like okay we need to get out of the house forget about the tap don't spot a scratch on your leg all of these things they're in like a certain thing and again arming yourself with the knowledge is the best thing you can do man it's really it's a beautiful thing yeah man and that's what's so great about I mean social media gets a bad rap right but if I think about I learn so much from social media and from YouTube and like searching things out and watching people and there's so many podcasts and great people to listen to and kind of great sources of
knowledge out there if you want to you can go and check them out and they're out there man Goggins Goggins got me through that first one really yeah 100% absolutely yeah Goggins is a shit out of recovery I love that oh yeah 100% I love that I love that Jordan Peterson he's a cacophony of excuses and you know love it We do a thing on On The Mend called Music To Mend By.
And we're going to ask you for some songs that mean certain things to you. So the first one I'm going to do is a song that helped you through a tough time. It can be one of your own. It can be a song that you've heard on the radio. It can be one of your favorite artists.
Yeah, Money Can't Be Moved, probably. It got me through... This is what I want to say. So it got me through the breakup that I'd gone through. And this was The Power Of Alcohol. So remember the story I told you about when my dad said... Don't do what I did. Yeah. Never, never give up on your dreams through all these things.
So I was back home just before he passed away and I got to spend some time with him as an adult. And we're sitting in the car and I was like, he's like, how's things with you son? I said, good. And I said, dad, I always followed your advice, you know that. And he's like, what a voice. So you remember the night you sat in the kitchen and you told me, don't do what I do.
You'll regret it for the rest of your life. And he goes, I was pissed. I went, what? He goes, yeah, I was just pissed.
Oh, man.
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