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Chapter 1: What parenting misadventures are shared at the beginning?
Hello, you're listening to Parenting Hell with... Arlo, can you say Josh Widdicombe? Josh Widdicombe. Can you say Rob Beckett? Rob Beckett.
Poo Beckett. Rob Beckett. Way A, man. Is that Geordie? If it's not... Well, we don't know, actually. We know. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yes. Doesn't say. Pardon? I thought I deleted the email. Oh, no, oh, no.
But you know you can shake. We learnt that. Oh, yeah, yeah, you can shake. Also, people have been commenting that we're on our phones too much when we do this podcast. And I just want to let everyone know that's because... That we don't get on. No, we do get on. We have our notes on there.
about things we want to talk about we have small business shout outs on there and we also have the voice notes on there other podcasts and Instagram other podcasts slash TV shows name me no names have Romesh GK Barry autocue autocue we do not have autocue because we don't know what we're going to say exactly Anything can come out.
Do you think he's out there writing my crude retorts for me and sticking them on all the time?
I have only just discovered your podcast and I'm way behind in series three. Blimey, this person, Callie, is not going to find this out for years. What series are we on?
michael 12 12. all the way there that's a lot of it hoping you still found we're not in series 12 we're on series one we've never stopped no we haven't have we yeah hope you still do these intro clips and look forward to seeing if we make it on when i eventually get there i have a four-year-old arlo and a one-year-old ezra here is arlo's alternative attempt at your names thanks for the laughs cali thanks cali michael when is the end of series finale
Soon, actually. Okay, good. What was the cliffhanger last time? No, we sort of... I have two espressos to pump up the energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't know what the cliffhanger could be. Yeah, well, we'll see. We'll work it out when we get there. Yeah, we'll work it out when we get there.
You're looking pretty relaxed, refreshed. Got a bit of a colour on the cheeks. Well, yeah, that's true. But... Been on holiday. Yeah. I wouldn't describe it as relaxing or refreshing. Okay. Where did you go? We went to Greece. What's your problem with Greece? Oh, do you know what?
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Chapter 2: How do Rob and Josh navigate their recent holiday experiences?
How is Rich?
He's all right. He's okay.
Have you been invited to go to Necker Island?
No, I haven't. No. So you're on holiday with a celeb.
well not with well not that celeb I can say recognised me as much as Rory Stewart recognised me when he saw me at Oxford Station he just stared through you stared through me like Rory Stewart on a Saturday afternoon like a lively bombastic student trying to get you to donate to a charity yeah bombastic bombastic so Shell who used to be our nanny yeah she's moving to Australia yeah she came out for a few days yeah we had a lovely time Rose's mum was there so she came out
Yeah. Was a friend? Yeah. Did you make a look after the children? No, we didn't actually.
No. One night. So it was like a come out because she's your friend. Yeah. For a holiday. She went early. Did you pay for her to go out? That's nice, as a leaving present. Well, yeah. That's nice.
But we'll probably go next year.
Do you think she was under the impression that she may be sort of being taken out to do sort of secret childcare, but you didn't do any of that anyway?
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Chapter 3: What challenges do they face with their children's activities?
And they've basically put red boards up like someone's having a cardiac arrest. Yeah. And he's just sat around there with his family. With his family.
And they can hear him and his family behind it. And get this, there's another celeb. Yeah. Bleep this. Right. Complaining that he hasn't got as many boards around him as the other celeb.
No way. Yes way. And you're just sat there going, guys, I'm the host of Strictly, actually. No, no, I wasn't there. Right, so if you were there drinking, you would have got bored. I don't know. Who's organising these boards? So do you... Right, so how famous do you have to get for people to see you walk in and then go... I'm miles off boards.
They need boards. I am miles off boards. Or do you request boards? Because I'm going to say it. When we got on the plane, I was there. So was Adam Lallana, the footballer. Neither of us had a sniff of boards.
No, I mean, you know, no offence to Adam, but he retired about five, six years ago. You know what it's like with athletes. No one cares. You drop. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, so no sniff of boards.
I cared, but yeah. So isn't that wild? We'll put that picture on our Instagram. Oh, yeah. You've got to put that picture up. I'm going to say it. Yeah. Being behind those boards is worse. than being in front of the boards. I'm replying to a text message. I can see you're texting.
There's the actual criticism. It's correct. I was going to try and style it out.
You went to look at the boards and you got a text message.
I've got my agent. I've got a reply. You've got an agent? Yeah. What's it about? Is it about work? It's about work. It's my work phone. And I'm at work. So this is my work. Yeah, because it's time sensitive because it relates to something that's happening tomorrow morning.
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Chapter 4: How do they handle celebrity encounters during their travels?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm like the Danish.
I think you've got a bit of a problem with money, haven't you? No. I think you're scared of it. No. You're scared of it going now that you had it because you never had it. Yeah, that is true. So you're panicked of it.
Yeah. That's normal. That's normal, yeah. It's worse in my head now than it was when I was on 14 grand on Dora the Explorer. Yes. When I didn't give a shit. But then that's a problem, isn't it?
That is... Because it's actually your life's got easier, but your mind's telling you it's harder.
Oh, my life's got way, way easier. Yeah. Yeah. Where are my boards? I think you need boards just at home.
So would you sit behind the boards? I would say no need for a board. If someone said, come this way, we've got a calling off. Speedy boarding. If it was a separate room that existed as a room already, and they said, would you like to wait in here? Absolutely, line it up, all over. Who wouldn't want a separate room?
If it was, will your family go in this metre square space so that no one can look at you, but they can hear you?
It's the kind of boards you'd use to cover a dead body. If someone had just died, they'd just put that in the corner until the paramedics came.
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Chapter 5: What parenting lessons emerge from their recent experiences?
Then I had to go to Tenerife filming. I've been so busy. I had to go to Tenerife to film. Yeah. I've never left England.
and arrived in someone like tenerife and it'd be colder in tenerife than england so i i left england in like just shorts and a t-shirt like didn't even take a jumper right the person i was meeting out there they were like i literally picked up a jumper to bring but it was so hot in england that i just thought i can't even hold this yeah never mind think about packing it got there it's cold
Breezy and cold. I was like, I'm in Tenerife and I'm colder than I was in England. Oh, Rob. So I did that. Well, I can't think what's going on.
So you would normally go away for half term, but you were working.
Yeah, I was working. And then Lou was working. She was at the Hay Literary Festival. Yeah. Did she enjoy that? Yeah, she did. It's well far, isn't it? I'm quite enjoying work and travel really far and be like, it's hard, isn't it, travelling to all these places just for the night and come back? I'm like, is it?
Yeah.
Wouldn't know. Would have no idea. Yeah. It's a little bit, isn't it? Yeah. And that's one you did this week. In the UK. Yeah. Imagine four of those a week for a year and a half. Just imagine it. It's really hot in here, Josh, isn't it?
Yeah, it's boiling in here because the heating's fucked up at Spotify. So was the holiday good, though?
You had to be in the pool the whole time?
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Chapter 6: How do they discuss their financial responsibilities as parents?
It's a buffet.
I don't have to have yogurt with fruit and nuts. I'll have a white chocolate mousse. So you've been having fruit and nuts for breakfast? Yogurt, fruit and nuts. Do you know what I like to do on holiday, Rob? Go on. It's my favourite breakfast. Go on. Slice of bread. Yeah. Thin cheese. Are you toasting the bread? No. Okay. Like an open sandwich.
An open sandwich. So butter? Yeah, butter. Butter. Thin cheese. White bread. Butter.
vary the bread up sometimes brown sometimes white whatever they've got yeah butter thin cheese what cheese do you know like they have the thin cheese at breakfast buffet no you know like the the thin cheese it's all like is is it it's not a type of cheese that's a way of cutting no it's just like gouda or emmental or one of those kind of mild no flavor one you know the really thin ones with the holes stop saying well yeah the holes is way more of a clue than the thin yeah so yeah gouda
Yeah.
Okay, so you're having gouda on bread. Yeah, with bits of tomato. Bits of tomato? Bits of tomato. Cut up a cherry tomato. Cut up a cherry tomato, yeah. And maybe a few capers. And that's your... That's my breakfast. That's your treat breakfast. That's my treat breakfast. That's some sort of Dutch evacuee. I'm like, do you know what? This is living. This is living. Do you know what, Josh?
You've done well for yourself here. So that's your treat, so you wouldn't have that every morning? Well, after about day three, I'm like, do you know what? You're on holiday, Josh. Let rip. Have it every morning.
Why is that? It feels so not letting rip. So you're not having any warm or hot breakfast?
No. At all? I don't really like hot breakfasts. You don't? Porridge? Yeah, but it's so boiling. You can't have porridge in Greece in May. But that's the only hot breakfast you'd have.
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Chapter 7: What humorous moments arise from their discussions about food?
What am I having for lunch? Pasta? Yeah. Just what kind of pasta? I don't know. Tomato-y pasta?
Right, okay. No, I'm finding this quite fascinating, but I don't know if it's just me.
What do I have for dinner? We go to a different restaurant each night, and then I'll have what they're serving there. You'll have what they're serving there.
I don't go off-menu. Yeah, but what did you have? Talk to me for one of your meals. Like a kind of load of Greek stuff. I feel like I'm doing a BBC News report, right? Talking to a nan that's on a state pension that's not enough and she's talking us through what she eats each week to try and make the money go further.
So, I don't want a full English breakfast every day when I'm abroad.
No, no, I'm not saying you have to, Josh.
But I'm just saying that the way you're talking about... I've told you I had a white chocolate mousse one day.
I don't even feel like you have the capers on it either. I think you've just added that in to try and look different.
No, no, I do. Not every day.
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Chapter 8: How do they reflect on their changing perspectives on life and parenting?
But Rose has got thoughts about... Because it just felt a bit disparate. Do you know what I mean? It felt like you were... The kids wanted to be in the pool. Do they make friends with the other kids when they're there? That pool's not good for making friends as well. Because it's too deep. Because it's too deep. So you know, the way kids make friends is if they're splashing in and out of the pool.
The shallow bit. Yeah. Okay. So we're probably going to go to a different bit of that resort or a villa or a different resort. Okay. But then I will miss out on seeing my favourite celebrity every year.
Well, and see if the balls have changed. Well, you know, next time you go, if you go next year, you'll have done Strictly. So maybe. Yeah. I don't know how popular Strictly is at Thessaloniki.
Well, obviously not that popular. No. Because, actually, in the UK, this is the first time in my life, Rob, people have been coming up to me in the street to congratulate me. Really? But not in Thessaloniki. No, but in the UK. Someone congratulated me in Waitrose last night. What did they say? Congratulations. It's mad, isn't it? How big that show is. It's mad. It's weird.
What did you do with your kids then? Well, so Lou was in France for a friend's 40th. They went to South France for a few days. So I was solo parenting. Yeah. Some would call default parenting. Yeah, some would. Don't know when the seesaw swings, but it's starting to swing.
Yeah, exactly.
Now I'm working less and she's working more. um we went so we went to tom we went to tom allen's oh yeah for uh he had like a book celebration because his books come out yeah common decency yeah um very very funny that's the name of the book not just your view on him holding an event for his it's just common decency to have a book celebration anyway so we
I was like, I texted him, I said, what is this? Is this a, it was four o'clock on a Saturday. Oh no, four o'clock on the bank holiday Sunday. And so I text, cause Lou weren't coming back to the Monday, but my Monday night, my, my, I had big pants on Monday.
Cause what I like to do when Lou's away is make sure that I do loads of the kids and dedicate an entire day to making the house even cleaner and nicer and better than it was when Lou left. So I could say, look, I've managed to do all this. I've done this better than you.
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