Episode 2817 CWSA 04/22/25
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What makes Coffee with Scott Adams a unique experience?
Are you ready for a good time? Well, you should be. The news is pretty weird today. Come on, technology. There we go. You were fighting me, but I won. Do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do. Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization. It's called Coffee with Scott Adams, and you've never had a better time. But if you'd like to take this experience up to levels that nobody can even understand with their tiny, shiny human brains, all you need is a cup or a mug or a glass, a tank or a chalice, a steiner, a canteen, a jug or a flask, a vessel of any kind. Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee. And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure, the dopamine of the day, the thing that makes everything better. It's called the simultaneous sip. It's going to happen right now. Go. Exquisite. Well, the news is all kind of small and weird today.
Most of the stories aren't that big, but they're all kind of interesting and weird, so we'll have some fun today. Well, according to the New York Times, the White House is trying to figure out how to persuade Americans to get married and have more kids, because if we don't, all of America will be destroyed by lack of birth rate. Some ideas that are floating would be $5,000 baby bonus. Who would have a baby for $5,000? You'd have to be really bad at math or something to have a baby for $5,000. Imagine how bad you'd have to be at math. It's like $5,000. Wow, I can raise this baby for 18 years and I've got a little extra left over. I don't know. It's going to have to be more than that.
Why is the Biden family Easter photo controversial?
And there's something about reserving Fulbright scholarships for married applicants with children. I don't know. That seems small. But we'll see what they come up with. I would say it's too early to judge it. How many of you saw the weird Easter picture of the Biden family posing on some steps to the House? And it seems obvious that Joe Biden is photoshopped in.
What happened with the Tesla vandal Dylan Adams?
So everybody in the family is dressed casually, as you would for an Easter event. But then in the back, there's this little stiff image of Joe Biden wearing a suit and tie. On Easter? Do you think he wore a suit and tie in his own house on Easter? It's so obviously Photoshopped. It's hilarious. Anyway, you have to see it. I guess I couldn't find a good picture of him with a casual shirt on. So you know that Tesla vandal? His name was Dylan Adams, no relations. But apparently he vandalized at least six Tesla vehicles in Minneapolis, and he will not be going to jail. So they caught him, and they know he vandalized six vehicles for something like $20,000 in damage collectively. But he's going to be Instead of prosecution, he'll be up for a diversion program. A diversion program.
What are the implications of Kristi Noem's purse theft?
Yeah, that'll fix him. I assume he's also paying to repair the cars? Don't you think that should be part of it? Because I would hate to think that the owner has to repair the car, but the perpetrator gets a diversion program? I don't know. We'll have to wait on that. This one's weird. Department of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, she got robbed in a restaurant. So somebody with a surgical mask came by and grabbed her purse. And even though she has Secret Service, they got away. How bad is your Secret Service if somebody could get close enough to the Department of Homeland Security head to grab their purse And then they can also get clean away. That's not really good secret servicing, is it? But the thing that's getting everybody's attention is that the contents of the purse allegedly include $3,000 in cash. How many of you carry $3,000 in cash with you just casually? I don't think I ever have. I don't think there's one time in my entire life I've had $3,000 in cash on my body. I don't have a purse. And it makes me wonder what the denominations of the money are.
Like when you open the purse, is it all a bunch of ones and it's just filled with cash? Or is it a bunch of hundreds in neat little packages? And why does anybody need $3,000 in cash if they're a top government official? Is it for tipping? If it's for tipping, I don't think a receipt care service is going to get a tip. I think they lost their tip. Anyway, that's weird.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What makes Coffee with Scott Adams a unique experience?
0:00–2:10
2
Why is the Biden family Easter photo controversial?
2:10–2:37
3
What happened with the Tesla vandal Dylan Adams?
2:37–3:50
4
What are the implications of Kristi Noem's purse theft?
3:50–8:55
5
How did LeBron James influence Kamala Harris's campaign?
8:55–10:31
6
What is Check My Ads and why did it close?
10:31–15:43
7
What are RFK Jr.'s plans regarding food dyes?
15:43–23:29
8
What chaos is happening in the Pentagon under Hegseth?
23:29–43:23
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Real Coffee with Scott Adams
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The Scott Adams School - 09/09/26 WALTER KIRN Joins The Home Team!
The Scott Adams School - 09/08/26 Joel Pollak Drops In With Erica & Marcela
The Scott Adams School - 09/07/26 Labor Day With The Home Team
The Scott Adams School - 09/04/26 FRI-YAY! The Home Team