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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
Lang? Good golly. Good golly. Lang is fast. Good morning, everybody. I will not be defeated. Steve the Texan was first, though. What? Oh, yeah. Ooh, Texas in the house. You go, Steve. Steve's are battling it out. Slap it on a skillet. Bookish. Good morning, everyone. Is it Monday again already? Monday? Has everyone been following the story of Punch Monkey?
I plan to do an expose, a full story on Punch Monkey. I don't know if we call him Punch Monkey, but Little Punch. This is like the only story that's keeping me alive these days is that Little Punch. You want to save America? Would you take him home? Would you adopt him? Like, of course, that's like what my instinct is.
But obviously what's best for him is to be amongst his peers and be resilient and find his way. But oh, my God, this little. All right. So drop an emoji in the chat. If you think there's going to be a punch feature film and punch stuffed animals and punch merch everywhere, because it's got to happen. Punch punches uniting this country. Look at the punchy people. Yeah, we love punch. All right.
I think that gave us enough time to come in, talk about something happy before we get into the disasters. No, just kidding. So you guys, for anyone who's like me and needs to be talked off a ledge, Sergio's got that task today. So we'll, we'll lean into Sergio. All right. Lean in. But before we do anything, Brie, take us away.
Now, I need to warn you before we go further, that somewhere in my house, there's an alarm going off. And it's starting to make me crazy, because I can hear it, but you can't. So I might have to take you on a trip through the house to find the alarm. But before we do that, we're going to enjoy the new and upgraded simultaneous SIP.
The reason I tweeted it out is that you can read along and join in on the chorus. It's newly revised. As somebody pointed out on Twitter, I got rid of the word thermos. And as my Twitter wag said, I impeached it. So thermos has been impeached and removed from the list of the simultaneous SIP text. And it goes like this. Grab your vessel. Be ready. The simultaneous SIP. I know why you're here.
You're here for the simultaneous SIP. All you need is a cup or a mug or a glass, a tank or chalice or stein, a canteen jug or flask, a vessel of any kind. Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee. You can fill in your own beverage there. And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of the dopamine hit of the day, the thing that makes everything better, the simultaneous sip. Go.
And add that part. Got to add the... Good stuff. That must have been, that was like the official launch of the official simultaneous sip. There it was. You saw it here, guys. So welcome again. It's Monday. You are at the Scott Adams School where everybody loves to show up for class. Right. Not like the old days. My name is Erica and I am joined by my beautiful co-hosts.
We have Sergio looking dapper in his beanie. I'm digging the whole set up, Sergio. Thank you. Good morning. beautiful Marcella, the multi-talented Marcella. And we have Owen Gregorian. He is reading one book at a time, you guys. There he is. Good morning to everyone except Ayatollah Khomeini. And Ahmadinejad. Yeah, you guys.
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Chapter 2: What are the latest updates on US-Iran relations?
So what's your opinion about the Israel angle? I am heartened though, like I said before about a lot of people in the region joining in makes me feel better that it wasn't like America again going like into a war. And it's like, why are we doing all this warring? So how do we how do we square that up?
Chapter 3: How did the US-Israel attack on Iran unfold?
Can I do a reframe on this, Erica? Yes. Because we're losing sight of what happened here, right? There's a regime of It's a kidnapping regime that took over a country, right? Iran. It took over a country that was having a good time. Everything was awesome. And they took over for whatever reason, right? Whoever was behind it, that happened.
And like you said, nobody did anything about it for 47 years, right? And now, finally, all the pieces are there to do something about it. And he does it. He liberates a whole... generation of people, right? Women that are gonna be making children and they're gonna be naming their kids little Donald. There's gonna be so many Donalds out there, you'll see, right?
And this is very hard for a lot of people to understand, right? Because we're so used to this history of all these presidents doing nothing.
all these years and just bowing down to to other countries not just uh israel but like everybody out there right china you know biden was uh whoever paid him the most right allegedly i don't want to say anything okay but uh but everything was sold out right this is the first time ever
in my experience as a immigrant here that I moved here from falling in love with this country in the 80s, that I see a president taking actions towards stopping all this stuff in a sane way and not a crazy indiscriminate way of doing this. So we are beating China without having to go into World War Three. Basically, we are like he's like strangling China, which is our last enemy, right?
a last enemy that can take over us. Now we're like burying them in their territory where their supplies are taken over by us now. So now they have to like rely on nuclear or paying more. But now we have the control over their energy because 90% of the oil from Iran went to China. Okay, 40% from Venezuela went to China. I just want to redirect for one second.
Like I, I get what you're saying and like it can totally make sense. So for people who heard Trump say no wars, like we're not having any wars. So tell me if I'm right. So your point, Sergio is like not to minimize this in any way. Like we did like a smaller war with a really, crazy psycho country to avoid what you're going to call World War III. So here we are.
A lot of us were like, wait, you said no more wars. It's not a war. It's a security operation, right? It's a security operation. Well, they define it as a war. They define that as a war. They do define it. The administration does define it as a war because they are going to go get Congress's approval.
Now it's not a war like Iraq and Afghanistan where we're going to be there for years and nation building. There's not going to be any nation building. We're just going to get those three defined objectives out of it. Now, I mean, obviously you can say there's going to be all these other consequences that are going to hit us that we don't know, you know, but you go in
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Chapter 4: How are Iran's proxy groups reacting to the conflict?
You know, we remember one of the things that I so sorry. One of the things that I have to say is and I want to cry. But when this happened on the weekend, the first my first thought is like Scott is watching. And and I just I missed him so much. And I think Erica was saying the same thing. All of us are missing him right now. Well, we certainly we certainly all miss him at this point.
And I wish he was here to give his take. And I can't say for sure what his take would have been. Because it's often not something anyone can predict. But I think I can certainly give you my take based on past things that he said of what I think he might say. But before I get into that, I wanted to respond in terms of the Israel question. I certainly think Israel is part of the picture too.
But I think I also, you know, I don't think it's at all... there in terms of evidence that we're just their puppet or that we're just doing it because Israel wanted us to. I think Trump has had an agenda to get peace in the Middle East for a very long time. And he's been working towards that with the Abraham Accords and all these things. And Iran really was the last big sticking point
preventing that from happening um partly because of all the terrorism that they were still doing but also because they were the one that would just say no we're not doing that and you know we want death israel and all this stuff and so um pretty much all the other players in that region had kind of come around to the abraham accords and at least partially had signed on to it and iran was the one that was the big player in the region that was just not willing to play ball and
So I think from that perspective, I think the U.S. has an agenda to say we need to topple this regime. We need to get new leadership in place that will be willing to sign on to the Abraham Accords or to be peaceful or to not have all this terrorism all the time.
um that's been an agenda of the trump administration for a very long time and they've been working very steadily towards that and even the board of peace is part of that you know i mean it's it's all very consistent with the direction that they've been going and um the other statement i would make about it is that i think i see trump as a very confrontational uh style person that
This is something I kind of learned myself that I wasn't nearly as willing to directly confront a problem as I probably should have been early in my career. And so, like, you know, I might have someone on my team that's not really performing the way they need to be or doing everything I need them to do, but I just wouldn't make a big deal of it.
You know, I'd say, oh, yeah, everyone has their own weaknesses or problems, and it's not that big of a deal. We can make it work. And so I just wouldn't deal with the problem. And then that problem would persist, right? I mean, that's the logical outcome of that is it's not going to get better unless you confront it. And I worked with someone who was the exact opposite.
He would just get in your face and deal with the problem right now. Like, we're getting to the bottom of this. We're going to understand why this is happening. We're going to stop it. It's not going to continue. This is the last day. You're not going to have this problem going forward. And it made me very uncomfortable.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of President Trump's decisive actions?
It was them. Like they apparently launched some kind of missile from that base and they it misfired and it went right back down and hit the school. So they apparently hit their own school and we had nothing to do with it. And so, you know, that's an example, I would just say, of where you can't really know exactly what's true. I don't even know if that story is true.
I mean, you know, you don't know. So I would just take with a grain of salt any story you hear, especially if it's too on the nose, as Scott would say, that it's like, oh, here's the perfect story to make it seem like we're the monsters or they're, you know, the good guys or whatever.
And so I think you need to step back, wait a while, see how this all fleshes out, what the debunks are that come out, and eventually things will become more clear. But I think right now we're still in that fog of war phase. Yeah. I mentioned about taking Trump taking the stronger position.
I think that certainly would have been an element of what Scott would say, because that seems to be what he's doing in this context. And also that he's shaking the box, that he's, you know, not willing to just take things the way they are and say, well, that's just the way they are. He's going to change things. And so I think he's definitely shaking the box with this where he's.
putting Iran in play in a way they've never have been in the past for generations. They've had been under this regime and no one's done anything significant about it. Everyone just considered it impossible and just thought, okay, we can't do anything about this. And some presidents have shoveled money towards them. Some have done sanctions. They've done little things, but
Nothing that would ever be decisive. And I think it left Israel in the mode of saying, OK, every once in a while we got to go blow up their nuclear site so they don't get enough uranium to do anything. But again, now Trump is putting an end to it at this point. And I think it's much more likely that.
by taking out all the leadership and putting in most likely some new leadership that would be more amenable to America, that we could see a resolution. I don't think it's by any means certain yet, but I think it's much more likely than it ever was before. And it is interesting to see the reactions
of the other countries in the region where most of the other Arab nations seem to be on our side and seem to be cooperating. And, you know, you mentioned Qatar and others that might even get involved with the conflict.
And it probably was a huge mistake for Iran to spew out all these missiles all over the place and around the region because now they're basically just pissing off everybody around them and they don't really have any allies left. at this point. And you don't see China stepping in, you don't see Russia stepping in.
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Chapter 6: How is the Middle East responding to the US-Iran tensions?
You know, just like weapons of mass destruction, you know, in Iraq. I don't know. And I think, you know, Owen's point of like, you just can't really, you just have to like hope for the best with these things. Yeah.
and really quick you guys i just want to say if you're enjoying anything we're doing today could you just take one second to hit the like button the thumbs up subscribe do all the things it would really really mean a lot to us um and comment comment on x that you like it yeah comment on x like you know keep us going over here please you know erica so to bring back bring it to scott a little bit this is uh scott um declared war on china right back in 2018
when he said that he was gonna take him down and he's been working on it and helping Trump do it all these years. And now, again, I don't want to just say that it's great when you can align many objectives together, like what Owen was saying, that it's not just one reason. Yeah, it's oil. If it's helping Israel, With this, it doesn't hurt Israel right now. You know what? Let's go for it.
Right now, it's just win-win for everybody, right? It's no win-win for China, and it's no win-win for Russia. So those are the last two superpowers left, right? So now we only have one superpower. That's it. Right now, it's 100% defined right now that their weapons don't work, right? It's like they had like all their best Chinese weapons, anti-aircraft weapons. None of it worked, like everywhere.
They cannot use it or any excuse about it, right? So we know that our weapons are the best. Nobody can take us down. And that's what Trump wanted. He wanted to make sure there was no question. There was no question. Did you hear that? I'm sorry. I thought I was on mute. So I think that this is also. All right.
So like the positive thing for me is I do think that whatever country next wants to be like, you won't touch us. I think they're going to be like, oh, shit, Trump, Trump serious. And maybe talk about what he wants. So, you know, yeah, good example to set. Isn't that what you want in your neighborhood?
Somebody that is taking care of business, somebody that is taking all the homeless, all the crime and is cleaning up everything for the for the commerce, you know? Yeah. But, you know, I think there is at least a chance that this is going to lead to a golden age in the Middle East. I don't think that was a possibility any other way.
I don't think with the brand there the way they were, that that would happen. And so I think, you know, Scott may have mentioned the possibility of a golden age, and he might have talked about how Jared Kushner and Steve Woodcock have been these amazing negotiators. And if they could have found a diplomatic solution, they probably would have. And they were certainly successful.
the lead negotiators with Iran. So I think we definitely had our best people on the case from a diplomatic perspective. But I think, you know, and in terms of war, I mean, I think to me, war is, you know, it is kind of a hard thing. Like, I don't like to argue over words because it's like, of course it's war. But at the same time, like the last time we declared war as a country was World War II.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of the US's three-part mission against Iran?
To Scott. To Scott. To Scott.