Real Men Don't Wear Long Sleeves
Activity Overview
Episode publication activity over the past year
Episodes
Round 3: Bailey Dale, A Recognisable Man
30 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In this episode we watch to see if Rory Lobb and the Bulldogs end up answering for their assaults on Mason Cox's cheekbones and the presence of the so...
Round 1: The Blonde Jacob Elordi?
16 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Footy. Camping. Painting. Sinking. Yarning. Ranging off.
Round 0: The Winds of Change are Blowing for Tom Barrass
09 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Opening round has us returning to season 2025 feeling like we've been downgraded from a Tropical Cyclone to a category one system. Sit down as we go t...
Round 8: Marcus Bontempelli's 2cm of Growth Has Radicalised Us
05 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It's Round 8, the Real Men are back in AFL's unofficial rivalry round. We discuss the best and worst rivalries, nightmare blunt rotations and who from...
Round 3: Marry Tex For The Money
31 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Sit back and listen to us watch the worst Friday night footy in our hoodies as we take on the important topics of Aussie hip hop, New Zealand AFL team...
Round 2: The Darkest Timeline of Ben King Colonising South America
24 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, the Bulldogs take on the Suns in Ballarat, where we ponder who is leading the comeback of the goatee, discuss the financial impacts of the ...
Round 1: I See You've Played Perkins Durham Before
18 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The Real Men are back for Season 2024!!! It's been a while, and there's a lot of confusion around who the frick some of the Essendon players are. We l...
Round 24: Tom Green Smiles Strong
28 Aug 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Nobody likes you when you're 32.
Round 17: The Curious Case of Jake Stringer's Neck Tattoo
10 Jul 2023
Contributed by Lukas
There's a runsheet this week and it's time for banter.
Round 15: Watching the 9PM New Years Eve Fireworks with Caleb Serong
25 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
What are the best tactics for pulling all-nighters at primary school sleepovers? What's the best food to at the footy and what the hell are they putti...
Bonus Content: Player Playlists
14 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Little treat for all real men who love their beats. To reiterate we are not affiliated with Telstra or Spotify in any way shape or from please support...
Round 13: Andrew Phillips is Prime Minister Material
12 Jun 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 13, the Bombers and their army of giant red heads defeat the insipid Blues as we talk adult men with freckles, the redemption of Toby Greene,...
Round 11: Andrew Brayshaw Calls Mum to Break Up the Fight
29 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 11, it's NAR vs WAL. As the Brayshaw brothers fight it out, we touch on incest threesome, wax figurines, why Caleb Serong will be the next Pr...
Round 10: Jye Amiss Just Woke Up
21 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 10, we watch the Walyalup play Geelong, whilst putting our skills to the test of guessing AFL players from their Instagram captions. We also ...
Round 8: Making Love to Josh Dunkley By the Fire
07 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 8, we discuss the rights of the Tasmanian devil, find out what happened to the players from the long forgotten TV show 'The Recruit', and rea...
Round 7: Jack Higgins (Dan Butler) has Evil Facial Hair (is Bright Red)
01 May 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 7, it's Friday night footy in our hoodies and Erin faces her fears as we watch Port vs St Kilda. We discuss our grand plans if one of us was ...
Round 6: Jack Macrae Is The Promise Ring Type
25 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 6, the Dogs teach the Dockers a lesson out west, while we discuss the infamous 'Lobster Tears', cast a potential AFL version of Ready Steady ...
Round 5: Harry McKay Is Cursed By The Real Men
17 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It's Gather Round baby. In Round 5, Carlton lose to Crows and prove that Erin curses every player she runs into as the Real Men are treated to some So...
Round 4: Jarrod Berries and Cream
10 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 4, we're here for the hoo-ha as Collingwood take on Brisbane at the Gabba, and we discuss key characters of the game, dick pics, and how Gill...
Round 3: Fergalicious Greene
05 Apr 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 3, Hawthorn play North and we ask some serious questions, such as: Why does JHF get booed? Is Nick Daicos overrated? And most importantly, wh...
Round 2: Cameron vs. Crippa: Battle of the Country Bumpks
26 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 2, Geelong and Carlton - featuring two of the great country bumpkins - battle it out in what proves to be an episode full of analysis on inte...
Round 1: It's Always Nice to See Ben Cunnington
20 Mar 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We're back for season 2023! Some things change, some things stay the same. We hate North now, but West Coast are still shit. Join us to catch up on ou...
Semi Final: Charlie Cameron and His Perfectly Shaped Calves
12 Sep 2022
Contributed by Lukas
It's a Semi Finals week for the books! The Lions get the bunny off their back against the Demons, Daniel Rich's butt grows larger each day, and Jake L...
Round 22: Will Hoskin-Elliott Gets the Voldemort Treatment
15 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 22, the Swans put an end to the Magpies dream run and we talk Pat Lipinski's heritage listed nose, Ash Johnson's ascent to glory, and learn n...
Round 21: Matt Guelfi and His Objectively Beautiful Eyelashes
07 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 21, the Bombers and the Giants continue to flop and we get a history lesson in Adelaide's Northern suburbs, talk the latest retirement announ...
Round 20: Angus Brayshaw is Worth Every Cent
01 Aug 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 20, it's Brayshaw vs Brayshaw as the Demons and the Dockers slog it out, we catch up on the latest goss, and get progressively drunker.
Round 15: Is Chad Warner Doing the Curly Girl Method?
26 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 15, Swans and Saints play the round's most boring game whilst we are joined by Stat Man and No Points Horse to discuss Nick Blakey's various ...
Round 13: Does James Aish Remember Us From High School?
13 Jun 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 13, chaotic good Fremantle and chaotic evil Hawthorn battle it out and we catch up on the last few weeks of goss, cast Travis Colyer in the L...
Round 8: Senior Citizen of the Year Robbie Gray
08 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 8, the Power get redemption over the Bulldogs while we get to know Fake Person Trent Dumont, explore the possibility of a body swap with Cale...
Round 7: The Unsolved Mystery of Michael "Sonny" Walters
01 May 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 7, Geelong and Fremantle tough it out as we rekindle our long-lost friendship with James Aish, mount a campaign for Gryan Miers to ditch the ...
Round 6: Steven May vs. The Goal Post
26 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We're back for Round 6 to watch Melbourne play Richmond, celebrate the legacy of Anzac Day, discuss the quality of Ben Brown's family relationships an...
Round 4: Brody Mihocek is the Pride of Croatia
11 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 4, the Eagles get the better of the Magpies as we discuss how Boyz II Men are the magic connecting Rose and Darcy Moore, repurpose Shannon Hu...
Round 3: Elliott Himmelberg Does His Part For Youngest Siblings Everywhere
03 Apr 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 3, the Showdown legend lives up to the hype as Crows steal victory in a heartbreaker (for Erin). We discuss the youngest brother inferiority ...
Round 2: Harry Himmelberg is Summer Bay's Latest Heart-Throb
28 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 2, Richmond and GWS play the year's most boring game to date while we tackle Buddy's legend status, the highs and lows of the football wilder...
Round 1: A Legend is (Jason) Horne-Francis
21 Mar 2022
Contributed by Lukas
We're back for Season 2022! And straight into it with the Kangaroos and the Hawks battling for good versus evil, ready to discuss our ever-mounting gr...
Grand Final Preview: The Eve of Greatness feat. Stat Man & Roaming JL
22 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's finally here everyone! Grand Final Week 2021, and we celebrate with predictions, trivia, and special guests galore. Thanks for joining us for sea...
Preliminary Final: Max Gawn Ejaculates Himself Into History
11 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's the final hurdle and Melbourne shame Geelong to take their rightful place in the Grand Final. We talk Jack Viney and Ollie Wines' place amongst t...
Semi Final: One Bailey Smith To Rule Them All
05 Sep 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Semi finals week and boy does it deliver! The second episode in a row to deliver a one point margin, the Western Bulldogs and Brisbane Lions give us a...
Elimination Final: Isaac Heeney is Today's Main Character
29 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The real men (and their sound quality problems) are back for a bumper finals series! In an elimination final as tense as they come, we watch the AFL's...
Round 9: Tom Hickey Inspires a New Generation of Songbirds
16 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 9, the Swans overrun the Magpies while we discuss the simple joys of collecting footy cards, cast Josh Kennedy in his motion picture debut, a...
Round 7: Ben Brown's Post-Football Career in French Language Pop
02 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 7, it's first against eighteenth with the Kangaroos facing the Demons in Tassie, while Erin faces her own hangover demons, Ben Brown makes hi...
Round 6: Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti Is A Once In A Lifetime Man
26 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 6, Collingwood and Essendon honour the Anzacs while we discuss Will Hoskin-Elliott's determination to make an enemy of Rose, Nik Cox's homage...
Round 5: Stevie Motlop, Alberton's Most Eligible Bachelor
18 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 5, fan favourites Port and Carlton go at it while we discuss how many of our days on Earth have been memorable, the evidence-based use of rev...
Round 4: Bayley Fritsch Earns A New Nickname
11 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 4, Melbourne and Geelong get their long sleeves out while we talk Tom Hawkins' likeness to a mutinous 1920s sailor, which footballers could m...
Round 2: We'll Have What Logan McDonald's Having
28 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 2, the Swans battle the Crows and we battle ongoing technical difficulties, all while Erin and Rose discuss the spiritual importance of Buddy...
Round 1: Brayden Maynard is Scott Pendlebury's Illegitimate Trailer Park Son
21 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 1, Bulldogs get up against the Magpies and we discuss marketing opportunities for Aaron Naughton and his mullet, eulogise Scott Pendlebury's ...
Pre-Season: Vibes As A Qualitative Research Method
16 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're back with our predictions for the 2021 season, based of course purely in fact, science, and peer-reviewed journals.
Round 16: Marcus Bontempelli's Chronic Back Soreness From Carrying the Weight of the Patriarchy
16 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 16, we're back after a long hiatus to watch the Bulldogs and the Eagles tussle for victory and stop pretending to be interested in talking ab...
Round 7: Zak Butters is Inducted Into the Good Boys VIP Club
16 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 7, Robbie Gray steals a heart-stopping victory for Port against Carlton, as we reveal our official Top Five Players list, lose our grip on re...
Round 6: Do You Love Jy Simpkin Enough to Pose With a Big Lizard on Instagram?
16 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
After a bye, in Round 6 we watch Essendon beat North Melbourne while stalking various players on instagram, discussing the level of personal sacrifice...
Round 4: Charlie Dixon Believes in the Value of Each and Every One of Us
16 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 4, the Power overrun the Eagles and we discuss Rose's newfound alliance with Matthew Lloyd, our stance on Tom Rockliff's leather glove, and o...
Round 3: Tim English Could Die of Consumption Any Minute Now
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 3, two famous rivalries battle it out once again, as the Bulldogs challenge GWS, and Rose and Erin turn against each other within minutes.
Round 2: Eddie Betts is Unchanged By the Linear Passage of Time
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We're back for the 2020 (Corona) season! Carlton and Melbourne struggle to engage as we catch up on the latest Darcy Moore instagram content, whether ...
Preliminary Final: Darcy Moore Is Doing Everything He Can
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In a preliminary final as devastating as they come, Collingwood fall at the last hurdle, and an absolutely manic episode sees Rose experiencing the 5 ...
Semi Final: Slow Dancing to Black Eyed Peas with Lachie Neale
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Semi Final Week, the Lions lose in a heartbreaker to the Giants, Rose declares war against Toby Greene, Erin proposes a Cheers remake based on Rose...
Qualifying Final: Patrick Dangerfield Just Wishes We Could All Be a Bit More Positive
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
It's Finals Week 1! Collingwood are through to a prelim and we reveal how to tell someone's from Adelaide, what paranoid delusions we let control our ...
Round 23: There's Something About Patrick Cripps
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 23, the Blues crumble at the hands of the Cats as we search for Jamie Elliott's soulmate, Erin struggles to go 15 seconds without objectifyin...
Round 22: Bachar Houli is One of Three People Worth Dying For
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 22, while Richmond edge out West Coast in one of the best games of the year, we discuss Dusty's fresh ink, compare gruesome injuries of dista...
Round 21: Someone Get Brodie Grundy a Hair Tie!
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 21, the Magpies make Rose proud against the Dees as we ponder whether the inhabitants of Canberra deserve our respect, find out what hospital...
Round 20: Easton Wood Saves You From a Burning Building
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 20, the Bulldogs lose to Brisbane, Rose loses her patience with Gillon McLachlan, and Erin loses her battle to convince Rose Twilight still h...
Round 15: Dyson Heppell's Famous Cool Room
15 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
In Round 15, we watch Essendon beat GWS and discuss Dyson Heppell's famous cool room, whether or not Jeremy Finlayson should change his name to Alex, ...