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Chapter 1: Who was Jane Andrews and what was her connection to the royal family?
Once upon a time, a man from Vantaa went on a long after-work trip. A smuggler with a bad sense of self-esteem ran through Aleppo to his home, where he made an arrangement for a half-wit. Zorizoripasta got the name Zorizoa-pasta. Today, it is eaten all over the world. Aleppo. Urban legend. Anyone who's ever dipped a toe
into the more chaotic corners of the British royal family, we'll be all too familiar with the exploits of the fiery ex-Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson. Or, if you're nasty, Fergie. Oh, I thought she liked it. Does she not call herself Fergie? No, I just meant as in, like, when it's Janet Jackson, she's like, Miss Jackson, you're nasty. Thank you.
Oh, okay.
Got it.
All right, sorry.
It was a pop culture reference, I'm afraid.
Look who you're talking to.
While her marriage to the disgraced nonce, formerly known as Prince Andrew, ended over 30 years ago, we Brits know her best as a professional hanger-on who the firm never quite shook off. And one who absolutely 100 million percent knows where the bodies are buried. And that's why they can't. Yes.
Since the 1980s, the tabloids have slated old Ferg's for everything from her fashion sense to her spiralling debts and embarrassingly salacious love life. Who thought she could have been upstaged? And just this year, 2026, she found herself in hot water again, all over her alleged links to Megapedo himself, Jeffrey Epstein.
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Chapter 2: What events led to the murder of Thomas Cressman?
Still, even if she wasn't dipping into the royal cookie jar, Jane's job gave her access to something even more valuable. The sort of social capital that she'd never had before. As the newest member of London's hoity-toity Sloan Ranger scene, Jane hobnobbed with old money toffs like she'd been born with a silver spoon in her mouth just like the rest of them.
Off duty, she could be found partying in Chelsea bars and champagne tents at the races with a string of wealthy, eligible bachelors. And soon enough, one of them made an honest-ish woman out of her. Christopher Dunn Butler was an IBM banking exec 20 years Jane's senior, the sort of settled older man Jane hoped could look after her and provide the stability that she so desperately craved.
But after their whirlwind romance and wedding in 1990, Jane realized Christopher was more of a pipe and slippers kind of guy, and Jane needed passion. Their relationship fizzled out, with Jane indulging in multiple flings with other men.
Around this time, Jane's boss found her own love life very publicly hitting the rocks. After Fergie's split from former Prince Andrew in March 1992, she was papped five months later in the infamous toe-sucking scandal on holiday with her so-called financial advisor. Viewer discretion is advised if you do decide to Google this particularly notorious picture.
It's not that bad.
It's just a bit of toe action. No. Is it Sarah Ferguson sucking someone's toes? Because that is absolutely not something I ever need to see.
I just mean in the context of the things we usually give warnings for of what you should Google. I think it's really low down on the scale.
So having well and truly put her foot in it with this later controversy, the Duchess became an even bigger laughingstock than ever before in the eyes of the public. Bearing in mind this is a woman about whom the tabloid once genuinely ran a poll asking, would you rather shag Fergie or a goat?
I'm not Fergie's biggest fan, but that's so fucking horrible.
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Chapter 3: How did Jane Andrews' past influence her actions?
He particularly liked her to dress up in skimpy costumes for role play. He had a thing for leather and a particular predilection for anal sex. Jane later insisted that she never liked these kinks, but she went along with them because she desperately wanted their relationship to work.
Even so, during their explosive rows, she'd often threaten to humiliate Tommy by spilling the beans about his dirty habits to his family members and business associates. They're all fucking out too. That's vanilla for them.
I was going to say, it's the wrong group of people to be thinking they're going to be put off by a bit of anal.
And then there was the other constant threat of tension beneath everything. Jane's desperation for a ring and Tommy's reluctance to give up his bachelor lifestyle. Jane described herself as the ultimate in insecurity and Tommy as the ultimate in commitment phobia, a volatile mix that was a surefire recipe for disaster. Also things that come into play quite early on, I would argue.
I don't think those are particularly hidden secrets by either of them.
No. And I guess there is ego at play here for Jane as well as just cold, hard pragmatism of wanting a rich man.
Because if you just want a ring on your finger and a man who is wealthy and going to take care of you and you do engage in those circles that you're able to come across a man like that, why are you going after the one man that everybody notoriously says no one has ever been able to get him to commit to anybody? Yeah. Well, that's my man.
Just pick the fucking guy that's like, I don't know, twice divorced and like needs, basically hasn't got a subscription to the lady magazine, but essentially just needs like a nurse and a maid and a, you know, someone who'll do a bit of anal with him. Like, why have you set your target on the hardest person that's in this circle? Maybe the lady does have a section for anal these days.
Maybe, maybe. But yeah, I think it's obviously a bit of ego there for Jane, like getting the man that nobody else could tame, that nobody else could get. But I'm like, you've made it very difficult for yourself, lady. But anyway, in March 2000, the first rogue sparks started to ignite when Jane went through Tommy's inbox and found racy emails to a woman in Las Vegas.
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Chapter 4: What were the details surrounding Jane's trial for murder?
But at the same time, it's that like thing that some people are addicted to, right? That drama of like the arguments and the volatility and the passion and the like screaming at each other. And like, she is not fully a-okay. Like all these threats of like, I'm going to kill myself. I'm going to hurt myself.
Like this intense fear of abandonment that she had kind of screams towards some sort of like
personality disorder a category b personality disorder like something histrionic borderline something like that but that can also be very alluring because those people can also be very very fun and enchanting and engaging when when you're on the right side of them so tommy maybe his analogy of a slipper does make sense but it's a slipper that also kind of bites you every now and then
But I don't know, what do you do with this person? Like, what do you do? She's like stolen the car and threatening to drive herself off a fucking cliff.
I mean... I mean, I think you don't take it to meet your family in France in the fucking first place is what I think. Don't do it. Don't do it.
Don't do it. Just run away. Just don't do this. Don't do it. But I also appreciate that... If you are in a relationship with somebody who is like that, it's also very hard to get out of that situation. Like, they can be very dangerous and there's no point denying it. Of course there is. Like, they're either going to hurt themselves or they're going to hurt you. Which, spoilers, is what happens.
After calming Jane down, Tommy drove her to the airport with his mum and his nephew in what must have been the most awkward car journey known to man. Jane reportedly screeched down the phone to her friends back home that it was over and that Tommy had said he would never propose and he had wasted two years of her life.
According to Tommy's family, Jane didn't seem to care that they were in the car too. In fact, she wanted to make the biggest scene possible and humiliate him in front of all of them. Jane would later deny that Tommy told her he didn't want to marry her, claiming this was just her go-to line when she was trying to goad him.
But no matter what actually went down in France, the one thing clear to absolutely everybody who knew them, or even had been in the same room as them, the relationship had grown seriously toxic. Probably always had been, but these things only tend to get worse.
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Chapter 5: What were the key arguments presented by the prosecution?
But nobody came. If Jane had been the one making the call, probably willing to bet that the emergency services would have been more likely to send an officer to at least do a welfare check. But after this call, zero action was taken. Tommy's friend Richard Gore distinctively remembers him saying that the police are only interested if there's a body bag. And tragically, he was right.
Within 48 hours of making that call, Tommy Cressman would be dead.
The details of what exactly happened next are slightly sketchy, but here's what we do know. In the hours after Tommy called the police, there was a lull in the argument where Jane left the house for a while. She was on a one-woman mission to destroy his life. Remember those naughty emails Tommy sent to a woman in Las Vegas?
Well, Jane printed those off and delivered them by hand to Tommy's mum and business partner, the famous racing driver Sterling Moss, with a sarky note saying, a little of what I have to contend with. She also faxed copies of the emails to the woman's boss for good measure.
Two days later, on the morning of Monday the 18th of September, one of Tommy's colleagues went to his flat after he didn't show up for work. The scene they found waiting for them was nightmarish. Thomas Cressman's pyjama-clad body was found wedged between his bed and the wall, with blood soaking through the carpet.
He had a 19cm kitchen knife clutched in his cut-covered hands, with his final act clearly having been trying to pull it out of the gaping wound in his chest. There was a bruised dent in his forehead and a cricket bat lying nearby. A bloody dressing gown cord was tied loosely between the doorknob and the banister outside the room and there was no sign of Tommy's live-in girlfriend, Jane Andrews.
Still, there were clues as to what had gone on here. Police found a torn-up letter in the bin from Tommy to Jane that addressed her mood swings, her jealousy and her possessiveness, insisting that he did care about her and hated seeing her upset, but that she needed to make him part of her life, not all of her life. He was clearly desperately trying to get through to Jane, to appease her anger.
There was also a post-it note written in Jane's handwriting that had been left out for investigators to find. And this is what it read. My dearest parents, I'm so sorry. No more hurt inside me anymore. Jane. Kiss. She'd added, almost as an afterthought, the following sentence. Tom hurt me so much. He was so cruel to me. To investigators, it sounded like a confession and a suicide note all in one.
So the hunt was on to track down Jane Andrews before she could take a second life, her own.
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Chapter 6: How did Jane's defense strategy evolve during the trial?
She also leaves and then lies about it repeatedly and says she has no idea what's going on and pretends she doesn't even know that Tommy's dead. Police also reckoned that her tying the dressing gown cord to the door was a calculated attempt to stage the scene to look like she had been afraid of Tommy and trying to trap him inside.
But the cord was tied so loosely that anyone could have yanked it free. For the police, Jane Andrews' sob story simply didn't ring true. And they believed that they had a cold-blooded killer on their hands.
Whether they did or not was up to a jury to decide. On the 23rd of April 2001, Jane's trial began at the Old Bailey in London. With Jane's past association with Fergie now splashed across the headlines, it became a massive case for the tabloid hacks who sniffed out any hint of a royal scandal. This was more than just a domestic homicide.
It was yet another embarrassing stain on the royal family who still hadn't quite restored their reputation after the death of Princess Diana in 1997 when the Queen knocked her off. Jane was represented by prestigious defence barrister John Kelsey Fry, while the equally respected Bruce Holder Casey led the prosecution.
While it's not necessary for a British court to prove a motive, it always helps. And in this case, the prosecution weaved a compelling narrative to convince jurors what had happened between Jane Andrews and Thomas Cressman on that fateful night. But this just wasn't a heat of the moment crime of passion that Jane might get off with a lighter manslaughter sentence for.
Although that is so much harder than you think and almost. It's like it's so rare. It's so, so rare. Instead, this was a case of premeditated murder.
Whilst the jury weren't allowed to hear about Jane's history of obsessive behaviour with her ex-boyfriends, several of the couple's friends and Tommy's relatives testified for the prosecution to paint a picture of Jane as a possessive, vindictive woman, desperate to secure her future with a rich man.
Bruce Holder urged jurors that after years of instability, the holiday in France was a crisis point that had finally caused Jane to snap. Realising that she couldn't have Tommy, she instead resorted to killing him. Jane's actions before and after Tommy's death showed what Holder called a capacity for thought, cunning action, deliberation and revenge.
The fact that she'd armed herself with a cricket bat and a kitchen knife when Tommy was at his most vulnerable indicated that she planned to kill him. And her movements after his death, playing dumb about what had happened, staging the scene and going on the run, were all proof of her ability to lie through her teeth. None of this suggested a woman in fear for her life or acting in self-defence.
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Chapter 7: What was the verdict in Jane Andrews' case and its implications?
According to Jane, the next thing she knew he was slumped on top of her and the knife must have gone into him. Then she crawled out from under him and fled from the house in a state of shock, focused purely on escaping with her life.
And there's no doubt that Jane's account is harrowing. The problem was, it was completely and utterly inconsistent. Jane repeatedly contradicted herself, came out with new details that she'd never mentioned before, and you turned on details that made absolutely no sense. As senior investigating officer Jim Dickey put it, every time she opened her mouth, a different story came out.
Even the account we just told you is a mishmash of all of the different versions that Jane Andrews told during police questioning on the witness stand and then in later interviews. Under cross-examination, you'll be unsurprised to hear, Jane fell absolutely to pieces. She admitted that she'd left the house after the alleged rape that morning. Remember those vindictive emails that she'd sent out?
She had to go out to do them. But then she said she returned of her own volition and got into bed with Tommy despite supposedly being scared for her life. She also confessed to lying about thinking Tommy was okay when she left the house and couldn't give a straight answer about her evasive texts while she was on the run.
Even trivial details like the thong underwear that she bought in Penzance came under fire. If she had been assaulted like she claimed, why would she choose that style of knickers was asked. And also, if you just bought two bottles of painkillers to kill yourself, why are you buying lacy thongs? I don't understand the connection there.
I totally understand that. She wants to be found looking fit. That's what that is. That's very open and shut for me. I also, you know... I don't love the, if you've been assaulted, why are you wearing a thong argument? Like that's like, some people only have thongs. I don't like, I really don't.
I don't like that. I don't get that question. Like if you've been assaulted, why are you buying a thong? I don't get that.
Well, you're asking for it, surely.
Like, you know, she wants to be found looking fit. I can put, I can vibe that with her personality for sure.
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Chapter 8: How has Jane Andrews' story continued to affect public perception?
A distorted sense of self-image, self-esteem and identity. Impulsive and risky behaviour, such as reckless driving, substance abuse or overspending. Self-harm and suicidal ideation and behaviour often triggered by moments of perceived rejection or abandonment.
extreme emotional instability with intense mood swings, and lastly, stress-related dissociation or paranoia, where you lose contact with reality or feel paranoid that people are after you. And I think we can say that Jane has a full house. And while this does shed light on her behaviour, it doesn't excuse it in a legal sense or otherwise. I think about this a lot.
Nobody who does something like that is well, but that doesn't matter. You're still responsible for your actions in the sense of, I'm not talking about responsibility versus diminished responsibility. I'm talking about the way you move through the world has impact and that impact needs to be dealt with. Like there needs to be weights and measures. You can't just be like, oh, well, she's bonkers.
So nevermind. Obviously, this is so dumbed down and so blanket, but the only instance in which mental illness equals diminished responsibility is if your relationship to reality is so distorted, your right and wrong is upside down. I know we talk about it all the time, but Andrea Yates, I think, is the case that I find the most useful in explaining what I mean by that.
Yeah, I mean, I think it's breaking down into two different types, right? So when people talk about mental illness, like, yes, you can talk about personality disorders because they absolutely affect a person negatively or can affect a person negatively, or even different types of, you know, cluster A, cluster B, cluster C.
But then you're talking about psychosis and that psychosis would be the only thing that for me would be like, okay, that is, and not just for me, like it matters in the law, it makes sense that that is the only thing that can be deemed to affect your culpability, criminally speaking.
I was listening to a forensic psychologist talk about the personality disorders and why they rightly are not included when it comes to diminished responsibility. Because typically they say it's not really even worth diagnosing somebody specifically with like, oh, it's borderline personality.
Of course, for some people that can be helpful, but it's more like cluster B because there's so much overlap between the different personality disorders that exist within there. And it can also change. So what she was saying was that cluster A personality types can be just quite odd, just quite odd.
So you're looking at things like schizotypal, things like, you know, Brian Koberger, he was a great example of of somebody who would fit into that sort of cluster A. Again, his disconnection from reality and his inability to connect with people probably did lead to him committing those crimes.
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