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Chapter 1: What should you do immediately after falling out of a plane?
Hotel Matsissa rakennat lomasi juuri sellaiseksi kuin haluat. Aamu meren rannalla, päivä kaupungin sykkeessä. Ostoksia tai ei suunnitelmia lainkaan. Hotel Mats Espoon Matinkylässä. Skandinaavista tyylikkyyttä, merenläheisyyttä ja pääkaupunki vain metromatkan päässä. Viivi pidempään, koe enemmän. Katso majoitustarjoukset hotelmats.fi
Salkku X. We meet again. Five numbers. Five wishes. Estimates. Conclusions. Power. As a reward, the Xpeng G6 electric car is completely yours. 10 weeks of time to solve in the code address power.fi.x.
Chapter 2: How can you maximize your chances of surviving the fall?
Don't miss it.
Hello. Hello. Welcome to an episode. Disaster zone. It's going to be great. Get ready. Strap in. Because we're going. Where are we going? You're going to tell us.
I know.
We're falling.
So, you've fallen out of a plane. The ground is hurtling towards you at 120 miles per hour.
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Chapter 3: What is the best landing position to adopt while falling?
We've all flown on a Boeing. Don't be too hard on yourself. At this point, there's good news and there is bad news. The good news is whatever calamitous event led you to being ejected from the aircraft hasn't killed you. The bad news is what awaits you now. A six-mile freefall, followed by weeks of recovery alone, and potentially months of self-sufficiency in the wilderness.
But not to worry, because just before you took off, you listened to this very shorthand. Over the next 20 or so minutes, we will equip you with a load of vital information you might not know about surviving in harsh, remote conditions. And, for the first time ever, this might just save your life. This is the shorthand.
So where are we? Oh yes, you're six miles up and falling. And weirdly, things could actually be worse. Had you fallen from a 10th story balcony or off of a cliff, you'd only have a few seconds to prepare yourself for your impending reintroduction with the Earth.
Luckily for you, at about six miles up, you've got a good couple of minutes to get yourself ready for what is probably going to be quite a rough landing.
Chapter 4: What materials should you aim for when landing?
Unfortunately, at six miles up, the oxygen is quite thin, however.
And freezing.
Mm-hmm. So the bad news is that you are going to pass out. It's probably best to see this as a nice bit of light relief before you come back round and the realisation of your impending thump hits you once again.
Once you wake up, it's probably best to look for some more positives. Don't get too caught up with the technicalities, like your odds of survival. Because sure, that is very, very low. But it's not zero. And that's something you can hold on to. Firstly, you need to take a look around and assess your situation. The million-dollar question is, are you still strapped to your seat?
If you are, that is excellently great fantastic news. The odds of living to tell the tale are significantly higher if you have a bit of wreckage to protect yourself. Julianne Kapitka was blown out of a blockheed Electra on Christmas Eve 1971 and woke up strapped to her seat in the Amazon jungle.
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Chapter 5: What are the first steps to take after landing safely?
Fucking hell. Merry Christmas. Sure, she had a broken colophon and had to wander the jungle clinging to life, but she did make it out alive and that is an enormous win. If you're not attached to a piece of wreckage, it's probably time to start thinking about trying to slow yourself down. The main thing is to make yourself as wide as possible in order to maximise your drag.
That is your best shot of fighting the forces of gravity pulling you speedily downwards. The ideal position would be a sort of mid-air starfish, chest down, arching your back with your head upwards, classic skydiver pose.
Now once you've adopted the falling position, it might be a wise idea to have a look down and think about what you want to aim for. The optimal landing materials are things that will either compress or break, as they'll absorb some of the energy of your landing. Mud, swamps and freshly ploughed fields are great. Snow is even better.
Trees are also good, but try to aim for the outside branches rather than going down the centre, you know, to avoid being impaled. If you're falling towards a more built-up area, well, at least you won't have to find your way back to civilisation. Remember, keep thinking about the positives. The bad news, though, is that towns and cities are notorious for being quite concrete-y.
Chapter 6: How do you prioritize survival tasks in the wilderness?
And concrete isn't great for cushioning your landing. Try and have a look for a tiled roof or even some sort of nice breakable glass to go crashing through to slow down your descent.
Let's have a look at Alan McGee, who was blown out of a B-17 flying fortress during World War II. He fell about four miles, completely unconscious, before crashing through the glass roof of a railway station in the sleepy town of Saint-Nazaire in France. Alan survived the fall with a few cuts and a couple of broken bones. And he lived to the ripe old age of 82.
So, stay positive, remember Alan, as you're hurtling towards your certain demise. What you absolutely must not do is aim for any water.
That is what I thought you should have done. Myth busting.
Myth boost-en.
Life-saving. Red-handed shorthand.
Because unlike snow or mud or a bog, water doesn't compress. It only moves a part out of your way.
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Chapter 7: What are the best practices for finding food and water?
And that's fine when you jump off the diving board at your local swimming pool, but the harder you hit it, the less likely the water is to displace itself, which is why belly flops hurt so much. If you hit the water at 120 miles per hour, it doesn't give the water a lot of time to get out of your way, so effectively it becomes concrete that swallows you afterwards.
Plus, if you do miraculously survive this impact, you're probably not going to be feeling particularly up for a swim. This is bonkers.
So aim for glass roofs. Don't aim for water. I hope you are writing this all down, listener. I really hope there are people listening who are, like, on a plane.
Salkku X. We meet again. Five numbers. Five wishes. Estimates. Decisions. Power. As a reward, the X-Pen G6 electric car is completely yours.
Chapter 8: How can you signal for help after a plane crash?
For ten weeks, solve the code in the address power.fi.x. Don't miss it.
Hey, did you see when Marja and Jussi went... Shh, quiet. Top secret, you know. Or rather, their secret is the delicious fish master's gravilohi from Ruokatorilta. Or the delicious premium cake. And I mean, they're really good.
Every chef has his secret. Herkku Grills products are only available at the Ruokatorilta food stores.
Salkku X. We meet again. Five numbers. Five wishes. Estimates. Conclusions. Power. As a reward, the X-Pen G6 electric car is completely yours. For ten weeks, solve the code in the address power.fi.x. Don't miss it.
Hotel Matsissa rakennat lomasi juuri sellaiseksi kuin haluat. Aamu meren rannalla, päivä kaupungin sykkeessä. Ostoksia tai ei suunnitelmia lainkaan. Hotel Mats Espoon Matinkylässä. Skandinaavista tyylikkyyttä, merenläheisyyttä ja pääkaupunki vain metromatkan päässä. Viivi pidempään, koe enemmän. Katso majoitustarjoukset hotelmats.fi.
So you're aiming for something nice and squidgy. As for your landing position, there's not a massive consensus on what works best. But the golden rule is anything but head first. You essentially want your head to be the last thing that hits the ground so that it's going nice and slowly when it does eventually hit.
The last thing to remember is to try and stay in your skydiver's position until the last possible second. The moment you curl up into a ball or go into a pencil position, your drag is going to be significantly reduced and you're going to accelerate. The aim of the game here is to be going as slowly as you can manage when you hit the ground and for your deceleration to be as gradual as possible.
With all of that in mind, the last possible second is also probably a good time to repent for your sins and pray to all of the gods you can think of. Because the odds of sticking the landing are still essentially zero.
But, against all the odds, you have nailed the touchdown and you weren't immediately turned into human pulp. Now what? Well, as we've already said, if you land in civilisation, the odds are somebody probably noticed your 120 mile an hour arrival and you'll be in hospital within the hour. If you land in the wilderness, that is a whole other kettle of fish.
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