Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
Episodes
‘I wouldn’t be any kind of best man if I didn’t try to persuade you'
25 Nov 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I wouldn’t be any kind of best man if I didn’t try to persuade you' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more inf...
I think it was John F Kennedy who said that politics was the something of something else
17 Nov 2016
Contributed by Lukas
I think it was John F Kennedy who said that politics was the something of something else by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privac...
When she was born, the midwife smacked her orse and Sorcha fake-smiled her back
11 Nov 2016
Contributed by Lukas
When she was born, the midwife smacked her orse and Sorcha fake-smiled her back by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mor...
Don’t be frightened, it’s just latex and make-up – but you can call her Granny
07 Nov 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Don’t be frightened, it’s just latex and make-up – but you can call her Granny by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy fo...
‘Mount Anville took out a High Court injunction banning me from their debs one year’
21 Oct 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘Mount Anville took out a High Court injunction banning me from their debs one year’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privac...
‘You’re a dirty dog. And I can’t tell you how proud that makes me feel’
13 Oct 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘You’re a dirty dog. And I can’t tell you how proud that makes me feel’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mor...
Women want more. I say let them have it. I’m just not sure I’m the man to give it to them
07 Oct 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Women want more. I say let them have it. I’m just not sure I’m the man to give it to them by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/p...
“ It feels like you’re.”“What?” “I’m going to use the phrase ‘pimping me out’.”
30 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
“ It feels like you’re.”“What?” “I’m going to use the phrase ‘pimping me out’.” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘No one goes to lectures before Christmas’
23 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘No one goes to lectures before Christmas’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informa...
‘Her ex worked as a risk assessor for an insurance company. I call him Love Actuary’
16 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘Her ex worked as a risk assessor for an insurance company. I call him Love Actuary’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privac...
‘Did you hear that, Shadden? George Clooney is one of Hennessy’s neighbours!’
09 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘Did you hear that, Shadden? George Clooney is one of Hennessy’s neighbours!’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for...
‘Honor is pacing in front of the cage, glowering at 200 terrified kids’
02 Sep 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘Honor is pacing in front of the cage, glowering at 200 terrified kids’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more in...
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 4
29 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 4 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 3
29 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 3 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 2
29 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 2 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 1
29 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
RO'CK Game of Throw-ins Extract 1 by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We can hear them chanting through the walls of the dressing room
26 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
We can hear them chanting through the walls of the dressing room by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
‘You’re so transparent. You’re trying to butter me up so I won’t humiliate you too badly’
22 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘You’re so transparent. You’re trying to butter me up so I won’t humiliate you too badly’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast...
‘After 2km, I’m wheezing like a 60-cigarettes-a-day man while Garret isn’t even breathing heavily’
17 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘After 2km, I’m wheezing like a 60-cigarettes-a-day man while Garret isn’t even breathing heavily’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. Se...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘He’s got 12 months of hord training behind him. All I’ve really got is drugs’
05 Aug 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘He’s got 12 months of hord training behind him. All I’ve really got is drugs’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast...
‘That’s a side-effect of taking these pills, by the way – short-term memory, em . . . thingy ’
29 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘That’s a side-effect of taking these pills, by the way – short-term memory, em . . . thingy ’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See a...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘What’s happening with your face?’ ‘I’m thinking. I’m thinking deeply’
22 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘What’s happening with your face?’ ‘I’m thinking. I’m thinking deeply’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. ...
‘I suddenly feel the kind of shame that only a couple of lunchtime pints can help erase’
16 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I suddenly feel the kind of shame that only a couple of lunchtime pints can help erase’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...
"See that little island down there. Lambay Island. Or – as it will soon be known – Aquatraz"
08 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
"See that little island down there. Lambay Island. Or – as it will soon be known – Aquatraz" by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.co...
“Do you want to be the fedda puking his ring up on the soyud of the road?
01 Jul 2016
Contributed by Lukas
“Do you want to be the fedda puking his ring up on the soyud of the road? by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more in...
‘I find myself standing on Vico Road, hand on the wall, throwing my breakfast up’
24 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I find myself standing on Vico Road, hand on the wall, throwing my breakfast up’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy f...
‘Claire doesn’t have, like, a Wicklow Wicklow accent? she’s very, very nearly South Dublin’
17 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘Claire doesn’t have, like, a Wicklow Wicklow accent? she’s very, very nearly South Dublin’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast...
‘Are any of you familiar with Countdown?’ Of course they are – they were in UCD
10 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘Are any of you familiar with Countdown?’ Of course they are – they were in UCD by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy f...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘You’re like a young Katie Hopkins – except more, I don’t know, evil?’
03 Jun 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘You’re like a young Katie Hopkins – except more, I don’t know, evil?’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See ...
JP’s dad won’t be able to show his face in Doheny & Nesbitt’s again
27 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
JP’s dad won’t be able to show his face in Doheny & Nesbitt’s again Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
‘I can see Honor standing in the wings, giving Miss Pallister the famous one-finger salute’
20 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I can see Honor standing in the wings, giving Miss Pallister the famous one-finger salute’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com...
She might have fitted into the dress on our wedding day, but now, well..'
20 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
She might have fitted into the dress on our wedding day, but now, well..' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more info...
‘I put Leinster on the Census form as my religion’
07 May 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I put Leinster on the Census form as my religion’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
‘If at first you don’t succeed, it’s a pretty good indication you’re never going to’
29 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘If at first you don’t succeed, it’s a pretty good indication you’re never going to’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/...
‘I could tell you the word she used except The Irish Times probably wouldn’t print it’
22 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I could tell you the word she used except The Irish Times probably wouldn’t print it’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...
‘I can’t wait to see Denis O’Brien wipe the floor with you in the High Court'
15 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I can’t wait to see Denis O’Brien wipe the floor with you in the High Court' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: doing a hard sell on Inchicore as an estate agent
08 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: doing a hard sell on Inchicore as an estate agent by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more info...
Honor is naturally gifted on the piano. She’d want to be – we’ve spent about 12 grand on lessons
01 Apr 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Honor is naturally gifted on the piano. She’d want to be – we’ve spent about 12 grand on lessons by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See ac...
‘The last time JP had his hand on a breast, it came out of a bucket’
25 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘The last time JP had his hand on a breast, it came out of a bucket’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more infor...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘I haven’t heard the word pronoun since I sat the Junior Cert’
18 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘I haven’t heard the word pronoun since I sat the Junior Cert’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...
‘Are you the same guy who first called Mullingar the Gateway to Dublin?’
12 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
If JP is crazy enough to think he can take the chest-bump out of selling houses, he’s crazy enough to do anything Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pri...
‘I make sure to just say it in my mind. Because that’s being a good husband'
04 Mar 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘I make sure to just say it in my mind. Because that’s being a good husband' by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mo...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘Chorles wants a prison colony for people who don’t pay their water bills’
27 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘Chorles wants a prison colony for people who don’t pay their water bills’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See ...
‘The government is planning to come down hord on people not paying their water bills’
19 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
‘The government is planning to come down hord on people not paying their water bills’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/priva...
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘Keep your friends close. But make sure you have the means to destroy them’
16 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
“Once Chorles discovered how highly the porty rated in the opinion polls, he didn’t want to discuss issues in case it alienated the people who wer...
This is getting ridiculous. It’s like being on a spa weekend with Sorcha
05 Feb 2016
Contributed by Lukas
This is getting ridiculous. It’s like being on a spa weekend with Sorcha by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more inf...
He smiles with the same smile he uses when choosing his lobster in Cavistons
29 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
He smiles with the same smile he uses when choosing his lobster in Cavistons by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more i...
These apartments will be so small, there won’t be room for two people to break wind
15 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
These apartments will be so small, there won’t be room for two people to break wind by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy f...
These are going to be our Family Date Nights
08 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
These are going to be our Family Date Nights by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Has she been drinking or is she still pissed from last night?
02 Jan 2016
Contributed by Lukas
Has she been drinking or is she still pissed from last night? by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I just don’t consider it a sport. It’s like watching CCTV footage of a fight
18 Dec 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I just don’t consider it a sport. It’s like watching CCTV footage of a fight by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mo...
You look like something Dr Marie Cassidy should be going at with rubber gloves and a bone saw
14 Dec 2015
Contributed by Lukas
You look like something Dr Marie Cassidy should be going at with rubber gloves and a bone saw by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/p...
I actually love women. If that makes me a feminist, then so be it.
14 Dec 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I actually love women. If that makes me a feminist, then so be it. by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information...
Christmas is a time of year when, er… you get loads of stuff
27 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Christmas is a time of year when, er… you get loads of stuff by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I’m the porty spokesperson on Gender Issues
20 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I’m the porty spokesperson on Gender Issues by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross, we need to take Pang to the Beacon – right now
13 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross, we need to take Pang to the Beacon – right now by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
My son’s nickname is Manslaughter.
06 Nov 2015
Contributed by Lukas
My son’s nickname is Manslaughter. by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Sorcha hasn't touched her chicken
30 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Sorcha hasn't touched her chicken by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“Ireland won alright. Which means we’re into the semi-finals of the World Cup!”
23 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
“Ireland won alright. Which means we’re into the semi-finals of the World Cup!” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy f...
“A lot of children are just born that way – they’re d**kheads.”
16 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
“A lot of children are just born that way – they’re d**kheads.” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more inform...
I’m there, “Pang, give me those cigarettes.” She goes, “Get away from me, you racist!”
09 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I’m there, “Pang, give me those cigarettes.” She goes, “Get away from me, you racist!” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.co...
If you can do it on the upper deck of a no 40 bus
02 Oct 2015
Contributed by Lukas
If you can do it on the upper deck of a no 40 bus by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
‘If you bought a gaff in Tenerife, they'd say they bought one in Elevenerife’
23 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
‘If you bought a gaff in Tenerife, they'd say they bought one in Elevenerife’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...
I should report you – underfloor heating is a human right
18 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I should report you – underfloor heating is a human right by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Seedless in Seattle Extract Five
14 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Seedless in Seattle Extract Five by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Seedless in Seattle Extract Four
14 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Seedless in Seattle Extract Four by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Seedless in Seattle Extract Three
14 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Seedless in Seattle Extract Three by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Seedless in Seattle Extract Two
14 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Seedless in Seattle Extract Two by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Seedless in Seattle Extract One
12 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Seedless in Seattle Extract One by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
RO'CK: It's here. A day I thought I'd never see
12 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
RO'CK: It's here. A day I thought I'd never see by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross goes to Electric Picnic: “I’m not staying in a focking tent”
04 Sep 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly: “It’s not camping,” Sorcha tries to go. “It’s what they call glamping!” Honor whips out her phone. “I’m staying ...
People are chanting, "Co'ck for Taoiseach!"
28 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
People are chanting, "Co'ck for Taoiseach!" by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
‘His dog just bit me,’ Honor goes. ‘Get up off your knees. We’re going to the Gords’
21 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll Kelly: ‘I see one placard at the next auction and the doggy gets it. Cah-peesh?’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more in...
‘Why don’t you just tell Denis O’Brien’s solicitor that you’ll stop having Denis O’Brien Hair?’
14 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll Kelly: ‘Why don’t you just tell Denis O’Brien’s solicitor that you’ll stop having Denis O’Brien Hair?’ Hosted on Acast. S...
‘Whatever you think about two men kicking the humanity out of each other in a cage...'
07 Aug 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll Kelly: ‘Whatever you think about two men kicking the humanity out of each other in a cage. . . at least it’s not soccer’ Hosted o...
I've got to stop thinking about my old man as an ATM
31 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
I've got to stop thinking about my old man as an ATM by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - JPs old man
24 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - JPs old man by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - You know that smell
10 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - You know that smell by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - I've genuinely never seen Sorcha so angry ...
03 Jul 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - I've genuinely never seen Sorcha so angry ... by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informati...
Ross O'Carroll Kelly: ‘Why would I want to date you? I’m already married to you.’
26 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll Kelly: ‘Why would I want to date you? I’m already married to you.’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy...
Ross O'Carroll Kelly (June 20th - 2)
22 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll Kelly (June 20th - 2) by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O Carroll Kelly (20th June)
19 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O Carroll Kelly (20th June) by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly (May 23rd)
11 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly (June 6th)
11 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly (June 13th)
11 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly (May 30th)
11 Jun 2015
Contributed by Lukas
Ross O'Carroll-Kelly's audio column in The Irish Times Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.