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Short Wave

How To Have Hard Conversations

19 Nov 2024

Description

Many people are gearing up for holiday conversations with loved ones who may disagree with them — on everything from politics to religion and lifestyle choices. As the conversations unfold, these divisions are visible in our brains too. These conversations can get personal and come to a halt fast. But today on the show we get into research in neuroscience and psychology showing that as much as we disagree, there are ways to bridge these divides – and people who are actively using these strategies in their daily lives. Want to hear more neuroscience and psychology? Email us your ideas to [email protected] — we'd love to hear from you!Listen to every episode of Short Wave sponsor-free and support our work at NPR by signing up for Short Wave+ at plus.npr.org/shortwave.Learn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

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Transcription

Full Episode

0.785 - 4.288 Emily Kwong

You're listening to Shortwave from NPR.

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14.042 - 30.932 Rachel Carlson

It is no surprise that there is a lot of disagreement and division out there in the world right now. That's the understatement of the century. I mean, Donald Trump was just reelected as the 47th president of the United States after a campaign season filled with divisive and sometimes downright hostile language. Yeah.

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31.313 - 36.896 Rachel Carlson

And a lot of people are gearing up for the holidays where you might not always see eye to eye with the people you love in your life.

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37.156 - 58.839 Emily Kwong

Yeah, this is true for many people I know. It is feeling tense and data supports this. Polling data from SNF Agora Institute at Johns Hopkins University shows that almost half of the U.S. electorate thinks members of the opposing party are downright evil. In a 2022 Pew study, growing numbers of Americans said members of the other party are dishonest. immoral, and close-minded.

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58.859 - 62.525 Emily Kwong

So it's not just in our imaginations, we really are becoming more divided.

63.207 - 87.693 Rachel Carlson

So Emily, this week NPR is exploring these divisions and finding stories about people trying to bridge their divides, successfully or not. And since we're a science show, I wanted to know, what does science have to say about how to manage conflict well, political or otherwise? And that's how I ended up talking to two people who've been disagreeing with each other for almost 45 years.

88.493 - 95.919 Rachel Carlson

Jeannie Safer is a psychoanalyst, she's liberal, and she's married to Richard Bruckheiser, a conservative Republican who works for the National Review.

96.339 - 99.101 Richard Bruckheiser

And he's adorable, so he's like 92 feet tall.

100.122 - 101.143 Rachel Carlson

I asked them how they met.

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