Chapter 1: What car confusion does Paula Cole's song introduce?
I'm Richard Porter. I'm Johnny Smith. And this is On the Other Side of Things, the Smith & Sniff spin-off in which we answer your questions. Welcome once again to the question-answering version of our show, Half an Hour on a Friday. You probably know that by now, but anyway. Shall I dive straight in?
Well, you're such an early diver, I feel like I can't compete anymore. You've established your masculinity and your dominance.
There's no point in wasting time. Quite a quick one here from a listener called Craig House, who is down this neck of the woods in Somerset. And I know this because he's put it... in his email. He says, hello, you pair of wankles. I have a question regarding the 1996 Paula Cole song, Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?
In the first line of the song, she mentions her and her partner owning a 56 Chevy. Yes. I've always assumed she was referring to the tri-Chevy era car rather than a truck. Or she would have just said something along the lines of a 3100 Chevy. Anyhow, later on in the song, she states, we finally sold the Chevy when we had another baby. My question is, how big was the baby?
And what could they possibly sell it for that was any bigger? It's bugged me for 30 years. Keep up the good work, CMTMB. Craig, I listened to this song. When Craig's message came in the other day, I listened to this song. Because it was one of those songs where you go, oh, I remember quite liking that song when it was on the radio a lot.
Yes.
And I probably haven't heard it for 30 years. So I put it on. I think she actually says that when she first met her boyfriend, husband, whatever it's supposed to be, he had a 56 Chevy. Right. And then, yeah, later on they have to sell the Chevy because they've had another baby.
I think I've found the solution here. Do you?
What's your solution? Well, I just think it's a pickup truck and it's got a bench seat, right? So you could probably get one baby in the front, but two is difficult. Two is just silly. So you need to have a car with a back seat, which the Chevy is a single cab pickup. It's... I'm not quite following.
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Chapter 2: How do old cars end up in unusual places?
I don't know because I always assumed, like Craig, that she was referring to a 56 Chevrolet in tri-Chevy sedan. But... But obviously not, because that's a very sensible family car for two, possibly three babies. So I'm going to go with Corvette. I'm going to say Corvette, irresponsibly carrying the baby in your arms or with a papoose type thing. Yeah.
And the baby loved the interior because that cockpit of those early Corvettes is just something else. I've got real hankering. We keep talking about Corvettes. We talked about in the main podcast, the bloody C4s. I keep thinking about C4s. Damn it.
Yeah, so, I mean, I suppose Craig countered with, well, why didn't she say Corvette? But if you want to be picky in the actual song, she rhymes Chevy with ready. It's, oh, you get me ready in your 56 Chevy.
yes now there is a word that rhymes with corvette that may communicate a certain other similar meaning but it's a bit rude so i'm not going to say it oh i can't think about what that is but you're not going to tell me that so no no no yeah then she says we finally sell the chevy when we had another baby now she's chevy and baby don't rhyme do they but that's fine chevy and baby makes total sense okay
and you took that job in Tennessee. Presumably it was a good job worth doing. Don't know. Well, it says you made friends at the farm, so it's a farm job? Yeah, because he's a cowboy. Or is he a cowboy? Or she wants a cowboy. I think this song's a bit sad. It is quite sad, yeah. Anyway, there we go. That's not really an answer, is it? Craig, I think pickup truck. Johnny thinks Corvette.
Either way... Paula Cole's story checks out. I don't think it was a tri-Chevy or she had a massive baby. We just don't know.
I've got a question now. This is from Tom Garwood. Hi, you pair of chody shifters. We haven't said that for a while, have we? No. Good old charity shifters. I ought to say that a bit more because I still enjoy saying that. Nice to have that back. I used to have a 1996 ST205 Celica GT4. Ah.
But I sold it around 10 years ago, shortly after moving in with my then girlfriend, now wife, as the running costs were just getting a bit high as a daily. I let it go for a ridiculously cheap amount and I've regretted it every day since I adored that car.
I'm emailing you because I recently looked up my old number plate and I was in shock to find two photos of my old car in what seems to be a Toyota graveyard in Poland. This is particularly weird as I sold the car in Cheltenham in brackets. I've attached one picture of when I own the car and two which I came across the other day in the Polish graveyard.
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of owning left-hand drive cars?
Yes, is the short answer. I've got two, and I'll make them quick. One, I sold a yellow, I think it was 1977 Volkswagen Derby, chrome bumper model, which I bought out of a scrapyard, and I've said this story years ago. I bought it out of a scrapyard because I was in that scrapyard that day looking for parts for another car. It came in on a low loader, and it was deceased spec, and apparently...
the deceased man's wife said i don't want this car i hate it and i don't want anyone else to own it take it to the scrapyard but it was absolutely immaculate right the scrap man i said to the scrap man what are you doing with that car because it looks amazing and i looked around it he went yeah yeah he told me that story and i went you've got to sell it i said i'll i said i'll buy it and he looked at me and he said well i've got the v5 in my hand i haven't filled it out of scrap yet
And I said, I'll buy it off you now. And he said, take it now for 250 quid. And I did. Fast forward half a year, I sold that car to a guy who was in the US Air Force over here in Norfolk. When I say over here, I mean in the UK. I don't live in Norfolk. And he got posted back to California about a year later, and he took that car with him.
So he has a yellow Volkswagen right-hand drive Derby in Cali. Wow. And his name is Eric. I haven't spoken to Eric in years, but I hope you're all right, Eric. So there's that. And I sold my Mark I Granada to an American guy who drove it to Greece, which I knew he was doing.
Oh.
Yeah. Sweet, sweet guy. Lovely guy. But unfortunately, what I didn't know, and he sent me some photos about two years later, is that he barrel rolled it in Greece. And so and he still has the car. He's still apparently trying to put it back on the road. But that was 2007. 2001, 2002. It was a long time ago. So those are my stories. You? Crikey.
No, I don't. I mean, never like a weird place. I've seen cars that I have sold before. being driven by their new owners and had that weird moment where you go, oh my God, my car, it's being stolen. No, wait, I don't own that car anymore. That's just, it's fine. But yeah, sort of- It's their car and they'll do what they want with it.
Your story about the Derby, though, suddenly made me think about one of the most incongruous things I've seen, which is that our friend Richard Bremner, excellent car journalist, and of course, British Leyland aficionado, had a very early- Mini Metro, which he subsequently sold. to another friend of ours, Jamie Kitman, the American car writer. Based in New York. Based in New York.
And Jamie took the Metro to New York and posted pictures of it on the streets of New York City, like, you know, parked in a row of massive SUVs or sort of, you know, going down one of those great kind of canyon streets between skyscrapers and stuff like that. But it just looks ridiculous. comically tiny in an American context. New York City. New York City. City.
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Chapter 4: Is driving at an angle into a steep driveway bad for your car?
And it's like, it's a real challenge, but that is one of the things that his company does. It's fascinating work. Um, and I guess that's why he bought the Metro. It's just, well, it might've just been because why not? He does also have a love of slightly unusual cars. Um, so yeah, that I don't have any.
Jamie Kittman was doing quirky car stuff for, Many years ago, wasn't he?
Yes. Oh, God, yeah, yeah. Jamie's long been a kind of unusual car guy. Also, he manages bands. He manages They Might Be Giants, his big... Oh, yeah, he did.
That's right.
Yeah. He still does manage them, I think.
And I vaguely remember OK Go. Was it OK Go?
Yeah, yeah. They were one of his, yeah. Ooh. He is an interesting guy, is Jamie, and an SSG.
So you've got a question.
I have, yeah. This is one that's actually from last year, but the reason I bring it up is because it's from a listener called Daniel, who in fact resent the question because he sort of realised that things slipped through the cracks. And this is actually a very good question. It is. If you could have any left-hand drive vehicle as a right-hand drive version, what would you have?
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of the 1996 Paula Cole song?
My unpopular opinion. Okay. I mean, I know what you mean. I just think the decals look shit. The wing looks shit. Don't like the wheels. Don't like the front bumper. Just look, just have an XFR-S. I mean, it looks so much better in every single way to me.
But that's just me. Yes, I know what you mean. It's so appealing to have a sort of stealthy car. I mean, I would definitely have a Project 8 with the touring spec lower wing. And I wouldn't have the stickers on it. The stickers are awful. I mean, you didn't have to have them, did you? No, but they're awful. It's a pretty extreme car, I suppose.
It's almost, it exists in that world of like, it's like a GT3 RS. And it actually feels very like a GT3 RS to drive in a weird sort of way. It's got that real kind of tightness to it and sort of, you know, it's quite intense in a good way. And I suppose, because I always look at GT3 RS and go, do you have to have the stickers? Just, it would be cooler without. So, yeah.
Yeah, I think nowadays it's cooler without. Yeah. But yeah, I like that. I think it's an engineering sexy masterpiece. But anyway, what was the question?
To answer Daniel's question, cars that were only left-hand drive that you'd love to have been made of factory right-hand drive. I mean, another one, BMW Z1. I've always got a thing about those.
Well, E30 M3.
Yes. Fiat Barchetta. I've always thought they were sweet. And I drove a right-hand drive conversion of a Barchetta and it was terrible. I don't know what they'd done, but it was just... I think they'd had to use a different steering setup or something. It just didn't feel very nice. And having driven...
barchettas as they're meant to be in left-hand drive they they were always quite nice to drive so yeah yeah that'd be good proper factory barchetta right-hand drive mainly maybe predictably i'm going to go with the delta eight um integrale because i know that there was some some some custom right-hand drive cottage industry conversions but i'm not sure how well jason plato famously had one and destroyed it
when he caught his parents having sex and went for a long drive to clear his head and ended up having to call them and disturb them. And his dad had to come out and get him because he'd put his car in a field. Yes. And it was ruined. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: How do car owners feel about their past vehicles?
Yeah, that'd be nice, wouldn't it? Because they didn't come in right-hand drive, so definitely 959.
Could you not get a right-hand driver on? Definitely not.
No, I think it just probably wasn't worth the maths, was it? I mean, on a more prosaic level, I'm really glad they're doing the new Twingo in right-hand drive. But I sort of, I wish the old, the original one was available in right-hand drive. Because, you know, I almost bought one last year. Yeah, and I still think you should have because it looked immaculate.
And I, yeah, I was just, I was thinking about one of the things that was in my sort of, nah, don't bother column was just like, will this be a regular nuisance for any reason if I'm just tooling around in this? And it's sort of like, probably not. But just every so often there'd be a ticket barrier or something that would be a bit... But they're small, so it's not such a big deal.
I've just thought of a car. I'm just racking my brains as to whether or not they did do right-hand drive. I want to say they didn't, but I'm suddenly... I feel a bit scared to say it in case it's wrong. Citroen SM?
No, they were just left-hand drive.
Were they left only?
I want to say they were left only. Now you've got... I feel like they were left only, but... I feel like they were left only.
But the thing about the SM, because you were just talking about cars that you've been tempted to buy that you haven't bought recently.
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Chapter 7: What are the effects of chassis flex on vehicle longevity?
And my partner has a Civic, which also seems to behave fine.
what do you know about car development and chassis slash body weakening over time is this something that is cycle tested will the flex eventually weaken the car would a rear strut brace resist the twist am i being ridiculous long time listener first time caller cheers mate thanks mate bye tom this is a really good question actually i'm down with this um
My Tesla does this because my office is down a slope at a certain angle of attack. And you can either certain cars will cock a wheel when you go down it slowly and other cars will creak. And my Tesla does a sort of bit of both because it's such a heavy car. And I do wonder because it's. Nearly done 300,000 miles. Am I just annoying it?
Is it like asking old people to touch their toes when they wake up and their alarm goes off? Or is it okay in warmer weather when the body metal is slightly more pliable? I don't know. I don't know, Richard. I mean... This stuff, torsional rigidity is tested. Absolutely tested.
Yes, it is. Oh, absolutely. On test rigs and... I mean, obviously things have got a lot more sophisticated now in terms of the amount that is done. in the box, if you like, within supercomputers and things. So... Yes.
But, yeah, they still stick shells on rigs and completed cars on rigs, and there is still room for, you know, sort of durability testing and doing, like, Belgian Parvail, all that sort of stuff, I think. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I suppose, unless you're going to keep the car forever... I don't think it's doing enough damage. No.
Think about the forces that are going through a car shell that you're not really aware of, but are there, you know, every sort of major suspension input over a bump, but also all the things a car shell has to do, including crash resistance. Yeah. They're bloody strong. You're not going to start peeling the welds apart by just going into your drive. Yeah. No.
I mean, you can take a standard rigidity shelled modern car around the Nürburgring probably quite a lot of times before you get any splitting of body seams or anything like that. Yes, you're going to wear out soft joints, bushes, ball joints. But I really wouldn't worry, Tom, unless you're crashing up and down your drive at 20 miles an hour like Nick Nolte in some 80s film.
Yeah.
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Chapter 8: How can listeners submit questions for future episodes?
I mean, if there are any car engineers listening who have extra information on that, either that we're talking shite or that, in fact, it's absolutely fine, then do get in touch. Hello at smithandsniff.com is the email address.
That's true, actually. We have real car industry engineers who listen to this podcast.
Yeah.
Unbelievably.
People know their stuff. Actually, we're sort of out of time.
I don't know if there's a short one. If you find a short one. My cat's just decided to...
like sit on my lap and be a be a bit you know pick me um okay well that feels like the needy cat has tipped the balance it is time to wrap this one up but uh as i said if you have got a question for us hello at smith and sniff dot com is the email address uh start your subject line with otter sot if you have a question because it helps us to find them we'll be doing this again on friday normal show on monday until then goodbye bye everyone thank you please
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