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Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I'm Richard Porter. I'm Johnny Smith. And this is On the Other Side of Things, the Smith & Sniff spin-off in which we answer your questions. It's a Friday, unless you're listening to this on a different day. So here we are, answering listeners' questions to hello at smithandsniff.com.
Chapter 2: What are some of the funniest mangled car names you've heard?
I was going to kick off with a very straightforward one from a listener called Nick, who says, Hello, you pair of ball joint dust covers that no longer prevent the ingress of dirt. so specific so mot tester centric as well yes um that's definitely mot terminology uh nick said i was training a guy the other day and a loud car went past he looked and said that's a fiat 500r broth
I nearly wet myself. His mangling off the mark. What's the worst mangling of a car name you've ever heard?
Oh, gosh. There were two people that have recently referred to BMW Alpinas as Alpines. And it does really annoy me because you're like, no, you're crossing the streams now because that's an entirely other brand. Well, two other brands. It's obviously the audio equipment Alpine. And then you've got Alpine, who in British would be Alpine.
So you're like, come on, the waters have become murky so quickly here. Just don't do it. Please don't do it.
My wife had a great one the other day. she, for some reason, was asking me about BYD. Yes. Chinese car manufacturer. Yes. But then, for some reason, she didn't, I presume then, she didn't think they were called BYD because she didn't say BYD. She said, what's going on with that Chinese car company? You know, what they call build your own.
And I was like, build your own? No.
no not build i suppose the d does look a bit like an o and you know the cars used to say build your dreams on them before they realized that was shit and got rid of it but yes but yeah build your own i thought that's that's a different concept but she may be confusing it with bring your own where you have to take a bottle of wine to a restaurant of course blast your drains blast your drain blast your drains yeah and never put butter down the drains ever
Oh, no, don't do that. Never do that. Or lard.
Don't put lard down there.
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Chapter 3: Which is better for tight parking: Smart ForTwo or Toyota iQ?
I'm not proud of that. Goodness me. Anyway. That's a good one, though. I'm sure there's been some great prom vehicles.
Yeah.
Yeah, I bet. I mean, that's the thing. I don't know when it started becoming a thing here. It sort of feels like it's in the last 10, 15 years, maybe. Yeah, it has. I mean, it's definitely a 21st century phenomenon in this country. Prior to that, no. Leave us disco at most.
Yes. Right. This is a letter from Tony. Hi, you pair of 4D gel number plates. On the way to Shedfest 2026 in my BMW E36 3 litre M3. Nice car, Tony. The driver's window wouldn't close fully when I shut the door due to a worn micro switch. Very annoying wind noise on the ride up. I had to think of a quick fix. Ah. The spare corn plaster I had for my little toe worked a treat.
Peel the back off, stick it on the switch, sorted. It did remind me of my first car fix when I bought a, in brackets, Johnny, cover your ears, two-door yellow Hillman Avenger for £20 in 1987. I was 17-ish. £20? £20. That car would have been like 10 years old. And a two-door. One of the front leaf spring hangers was corroded, needing a repair.
Luckily, my mate had an arc welder, so we began to weld the corrosion. So the next day, when I rode to his house on my rally burner with my Blues Brothers shades on for my mate to open the door, looking like Eric Estrada from Chips, we had a brief conversation on why it felt like someone had poured sand in our eyes and we should have worn a mask. Oh no, arc eye.
Anyway, we decided to tie the hanger with a rope instead, bonnet up around the slam panel. This lasted approximately five miles. When judging a right-hand bend, the passenger wheel decided to turn right. Oh dear, the scrap man picked it up and gave me 25 quid. I was a fiver up on what I'd paid for the car. Any quick fixes that you guys have ever done or seen that haven't quite worked?
Cheers, Tony Evans, head of quality control at Land Rover. Only joking, I'm a bin man. I don't know if he is a bin man either. There's so much to unpack here, isn't there?
There's an awful lot. I mean, he decides that the trying to tie the broken hanger to the crossman.
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