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Chapter 1: What interesting car discovery did Jonny and Richard make?
I'm Johnny Smith. I'm Richard Porter. And this is Smith & Smith, a podcast in which two friends talk about cars and many other things. My brother asked me if I wanted to go via, take a shortcut via the mummified fox the other night. He picked me up. He had to take me, you know when you've got to drop a car off somewhere and you need to get back to where the other car is or where your home is.
Just boring logistics. Yeah. And it looked like there was a bit of traffic on the A1. So Greg was like, hey, let's just come off here. We'll go down on the underpass via the mummified fox. And I was like, what do you mean the mummified fox? He went, come on, you know, the mummified fox underpass.
Chapter 2: What is the story behind the mummified fox underpass?
And I said, no. Is it a pub? He said, it's been there for about five years. What? I said, it's been there for five years. He said, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so he pulled off and drove under this underpass. And he slowed down because there wasn't a car behind. And he went, look, just there. And he said, it must have got hit by a car years ago. Poor thing.
not to the side of the road, but because it was under the underpass, it was both dry and out of sight for birds of prey and any other carrion-eating warriors. Scavengers, yeah. Scavengers. And there's never been a car called a scavenger, has there? Has there? No, because I think it has... Does it have positive connotations?
I mean, you do scavenger hunts, which is supposed to be quite fun, but... Yeah. Scavenger. No, it just sounds like it's going to smell. Is it a bit BOE? But equally, I could see it being... In the 70s, there'd be just like a kit car. For some reason, it's a six-wheeled estate slash camper called like the Drakeston Scavenger.
It's got white wellers, obviously, the sleaziest wheel known to humankind. They've been soaked in a brine solution before going on sale. Yeah. And it's just this sense that it's a bit manky and a bit sleazy. Scuzzy. Scuzzy's a word, isn't it? Yeah, scuzzy. Exactly. Yeah. The scavenger. But they call it the scavanger. Scavenger. Isn't that a place in Norway?
Yeah.
Yes, it does sound like it. There's a mummified fox and it's been there for five years. Yeah, and it's probably two or three feet from the road. So it's really close. But the conditions that have allowed it to be perfectly preserved, presumably also, I guess, under the underpass, it's quite cool. So it's not going to rot in sunshine. No, and the wind obviously blows underneath the underpass.
My brother's like, it's perfect conditions for mummification.
Yeah.
Roadkill mummification. So I was like, oh, wow. So we had a look at it and it was a bit weird. And I said, oh, well, I must have been driving past this for ages without knowing.
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Chapter 3: What happened with the Opel Rekord headlamp theft?
Because Mistral is a wind, isn't it? And I think Kamsin is a wind. Well, hang on a minute. So there's two brands chasing wind. Yeah. Wind chasers. I'm not aware of a car company that goes, you know what, types of rain, that's us. This is our new model, the Drizzle. But we've also got the Monsoon and the... What other types of rain are?
Sea... I was going to say spume, but that's something else, isn't it? Spitting. It's spitting. Oh, the worst kind of rain. Spume is the froth off the top of a crashing wave in the sea. Is that right? Is it the... Is it the froth? It's not the water that's sort of flung from a big wave. No, it's not the water which licks off depending on if there's an offshore wind.
It's the foam which always looks suspicious like it could be sewagey. Yes. If you're in the sea, I always avoid those bits. Yeah, it's just got chemicals in it. Yeah, in case it just goes into your mouth just a bit while you're trying to stay with your chin above the water or whatever. Hey, anyway, look, spume or not spume.
I forgot to say, there's several things I forgot to mention last week while they were relatively timely. But the most important one was, I don't know if you follow Lewis Hamilton on social media. I do, yes. He doesn't follow me. But he did a really, really good Instagram reel and little mini story on lowriders.com.
Last thing I was expecting Lewis Hamilton to be involved with, he was having a look around a low rider and had a drive of it and was flicking the switches and dicking around with the hydraulic suspension. It was really, really good. I enjoyed it a lot. And I suddenly thought, hang on, if Lewis makes low riders even more mainstream, maybe I'm finishing my low rider.
After its 21-year relatively slow progress. Maybe this is the right time. Maybe I've actually timed it perfectly. I've just been waiting for Ham. Haven't I? Ham and his Lolo. You've touched on something that quietly drives me nuts and has done for a while. Oh. Is that...
F1 people, and I think this is at an all-time high now, F1 people on podcasts, TV coverage, you name it, always refer to the drivers just by their first names, like they're mates. Oh, Lewis. And I want to go, shut up, you're not. You just watch them on telly.
They'll go, yeah, I thought Lewis was great in that race, but, you know, Kimi's really coming on strong now, and that's got to be bad news for George. Like, you don't know any of these people!
LAUGHTER
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Chapter 4: What amusing incident did Richard have with a grumpy minicab driver?
He's very good at this stuff. It's branding, isn't it? If he just gets everybody to call him Colin Furze, then it's like every time someone says it, it's like a free advert for him. Well, he owns Thursdays, doesn't he? Because he's marketed that just perfectly. It's Thursday. And he puts his videos out on Thursday because he is Colin Firth. I mean, like, damn it, you're good. Damn you.
No, he's smart. But I think Tim Henman, he is just Tim Henman, isn't he? Because Henman, he's not a surname-y sort of person, even though he's a professional sports person. But Tim, you can't say Tim. Tim was playing Andre Aguilar. What about if you got rid of the hen and it was just Timman? Timman? Tim, Tim. Or just take his initial and put it to his surname and then he's Fenman. Fenman?
I don't know if that's gaining anything. Or the N-man. No. The end man? The end man.
I am the end man. See me play tennis.
See me do that rather weak sort of, yes, with my fist pulled down, sort of like Bruce Forsyth, but it's just somehow I can't do it convincingly, but I keep doing it anyway. It was never convincing. I wish he'd stopped doing that because I probably would have had a little bit more time for him because I think he's a nice guy and he's obviously a very talented player.
I was going to say, I mean, we can talk about Tim Henneman critically all we want, but he would absolutely paste either of us around the tennis court in about one minute flat. I played tennis yesterday and I was cack. Did you? But I enjoyed it. I've just finished a song for this ongoing music project that I have called Goths Playing Tennis that I'm really pleased with.
I'll release it at some point. But based on an ongoing thing that amuses me in my own head, Goths would play tennis all in black, even at Wimbledon. Surely this has got to lead on to goth cricketing. Well, it's a natural follow-up, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, there is an observation at the end of the song about sports and activities that goths excel at because they insist on wearing black at all times.
But yeah, goth cricket would be amazing, particularly if they were playing a team that was just wearing the trad whites because then it would be very easy to tell who plays for who. It would be very, very logical. In fact, we should put this to some cricket people we know of one. Oh, yes. Greg James with his Tale Enders podcast. We should put it to them.
We should say, surely there's a goth cricketing should be a thing. They go out onto the field wearing their blacks. They refer to it as cricket whites, don't they? Yeah, they do. Also, you know when cricketers rub the ball on their trousers for reasons that are related to... Spinning. Spinning, I think.
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