Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
One iced coffee? 99 cents, please. For real? No way. One iced coffee? 99 cents, please. For real? No way. What a deal. Your new morning groove. Iced coffee from McDonald's. Any size for just 99 cents till 11 a.m. Price and participation may vary. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Hey, everybody.
I hope you enjoyed this episode with one of the funniest human beings on the planet, Eddie Pepitone. He's the man. Make sure you watch his special on YouTube. And come see me on the road. Texas, Oklahoma, I'm coming to see you. Enjoy this episode with Eddie Pepitone. And maybe while you're listening and you live in Dallas, Houston, or Oklahoma City, you buy tickets. Dallas is close to sold out.
That's March 19th. March 20th, I'm going to be in Houston, Texas. Houston, come and see me. I know I said the name of the venue wrong and they got mad because it's the Cullen Performance Hall. So I'm sorry. If this is why you're not buying tickets, Houston, I apologize. I was wrong. It's the Cullen Performance Hall. Come see me at the Cullen Performance Hall.
If you're mad at how I'm saying it or anything, I promise I will correct my behavior. But go to DanSoder.com. I'm going to be in Houston March 20th and then Oklahoma City March 21st. bringing Matt Ross and Brendan Sagalow. It's going to be a hell of a show. You got the band back together, baby. Oklahoma City, I'm going to be at the Tower Theater March 21st. DanSoder.com.
Please buy tickets, and I'll see you out on the road. Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour, almost done. There's only a few weeks left before we film this. So come and check out one of the shows, DanSutter.com. Full listings for all the dates. I love you. Enjoy the podcast. I'm sorry if I interrupt. I promise I'm trying to work on it. I just get so excited.
First time I got to really watch you do a set was at the Old Creek in the Cave on a Wednesday night for maybe 12 people on this show Rebecca Trent used to produce called Monsters. I think so. And you just talked about the Pulaski Bridge for 15 minutes. It was one of my favorite sets I've ever seen in my life. Yes. And now I know what the Pulaski Bridge is.
I used to cross that bridge all the time and I was always like, it's the bridge that goes between Queens and Brooklyn. And you were like, this is where comedy lives at the foot of the Pulaski Bridge. Well, you know what it's like. It's like when you're up there, you're like trying to find that vein of comedy. Of something that inspires you to be funny.
And I think that night, I just loved the name Pulaski. And that bridge, I had never been to Rebecca's place over there. And that bridge is so kind of ominous. It's right across the street. It's this huge steel structure. And it also isn't sexy like a lot of the bridges in New York. It's not sexy. Brooklyn, Manhattan. You have all the Williamsburg Bridge. They have all this stuff.
Pulaski Bridge is like, this is very necessary. It's a very inner borough bridge where you almost don't even realize you're going Queens to Brooklyn. And then you're like, oh, yeah, I guess I did just cross over. How did we just go into Queens? I don't know. I don't know. It looks all the same. You grew up in Brooklyn. Yeah, I grew up in Brooklyn until I was nine. I grew up.
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Chapter 2: How does Eddie Pepitone relate to Martin Scorsese's work?
And that's when it's sad, but you're like, it fooled people. Absolutely. People weren't that savvy unless you were a jazz musician back then. There he goes. Baby, they suck in each other's guts. Yeah, right. That's what it is. Honey, I'm going to tell you right now, they play each other like trombone. And they're like, oh, stop it. Would you leave me alone, Stray Cat Allen?
Or they have a jazz name. They always knew what was happening, the jazz guys. Why was that? Was it because they were just out performing in nightclubs? I think so. And they were smoking weed. They were the fringe of society? I don't really know, Dan. I just threw that out there. I didn't know I was going to get grilled on lick. I don't know. Why is it with the chess people?
This is what you get for talking to somebody that's a lifetime pothead is you get lifetime pothead questions where you go, why is that? I never thought about that. But yeah, I mean, those like Liberace coming out, I almost want to do research on it because he did come out. Can you look that up? I want to see if Liberace actually was like, by the way, I'm gay.
All these candelabras are for a reason. I like to see. I like to light pussy. Yeah. He came out on Theo Voin's podcast, right? That's what it was. He was like, man, that makes a lot of sense. You suck and you're fucking. That makes a lot of sense. I have a friend named Straight Liberace. He just wears a lot of diamonds. Liberace never officially came out as gay.
Publicly denied his homosexuality until he died of AIDS-related pneumonia in February of 87. Man, AIDS was like, if you guys aren't going to say it, I'm going to say it. AIDS, that's what AIDS did in the 80s. Hell yeah.
too many motherfuckers are keeping a secret yeah yeah the aids was like the great liberator well it's what's you know my family's from san francisco and they would almost talk about it like an army and like a what like an army invaded san francisco where they'd be like well then 80s you know in the 80s with aids and you're like yeah you guys had so many bath houses there's probably the bath houses
The bathhouse industry took a beating. It did. Because of AIDS. It did. Yeah, I never got to the bathhouses. Like, I still have friends who tell me, not kidding, who tell me to go to a Turkish bath. Oh, the Russian bath. Yeah, they say, you know, it's great. Like, it gets all the toxins out. You go, I'm not trying to sleep with you. I'm not trying to play with your penis.
You get the fuck out of my face with that. And they go, all right. It's funny as if you do take that stance, you just look incredibly homophobic. We're like, I'm not going to the bathhouse. It's a soak, your skin. They call it a soak. They have one word descriptions of it. But you said you grew up in Brooklyn until you were nine and you were heavily traumatized.
You know, yeah, I mean, I'm thinking of the Scorsese thing because he, I kind of understand him now. I've watched three episodes of this doc and I always was like a little critical because I'm an asshole of Scorsese being so violent, like just incredible violence. And then I, after watching this shit, he witnessed it. Oh, really?
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Chapter 3: What are the challenges of modern celebrity culture?
identify with people who are anti-trans because a lot of these anti-trans people are like, don't give kids chemicals. You shouldn't let, and I, you know, I'm a pretty compassionate person where I go, I think they should let their lives. But the reason I feel that way is because they're starting to give fat kids Ozempic. And I go, don't, yeah. And I go, don't do that. We need our fat kids.
We need our funny people. You're, you're, you're, The pharmaceutical industry is gonna take away our charming, sweet, and funny people. You need fat kids. Or we need our, another angle is, we need our scapegoats. We need certain people to be fat so we can feel better about ourselves. Exactly. That's something. Also, I've always wanted to put chocolate ice cream in a Klondike bar.
But maybe it was a fat person that was brave enough Maybe he's a former fat teenager. Let kids... And granted, I wasn't fat as a teenager, but I did have an abnormally large head and a very skinny body. So it was a different thing. I wouldn't want head shaving surgery. Let these big domed kids know what it feels like to not find a fitted hat. I didn't know they're given...
You're starting to give them that weight loss thing. It always starts with the rich people, but then it trickles down because rich people do it, and then middle class people, or what was the middle class people, now go like, well, I got to do that for my kid. And honestly...
insecurities i don't think when you're a teenager you realize that insecurities become your superpower when you're older just like martin like what you were saying with martin scorsese he's like yeah he's like inside can't breathe and now this guy is still making great movies for five decades for four decades yeah what was his last one uh it was before after the irishman he did um oh the irishman
Fire Killers of the Fire Moon. Oh, that was really good too. See what I mean? Like, good for asthma.
exactly like yeah you know what if you work uh with your hands you got a blue collar job i probably have said this on the podcast before but i mean it there is certain work clothes and we can't say it because this is a commercial for their competitor but there's a certain brand of work clothes that got fashionably cool and then completely outpriced for people that actually do the work you know like really hard work and need good jackets for outside work well guess what
Brunt Workwear has got all you covered. Founder Eric Gerard grew up blue collar. He created Brunt after friends in the trades told him big legacy brands, the ones I was talking about, stopped listening and became fashion companies. I just nailed that. That's exactly what I was saying. But guess what? Brunt's got you covered.
It's named after real guys Eric grew up with, actual hardworking tradesmen. It's traditional work boots, forced... to be comfortable and durable because that's what the people need. So no painful break-ins, no sore feet, no stiff leather battles. It's comfort right out the box. Brunt workwear. Not only do they have boots, they got a bunch of stuff.
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Chapter 4: How does the conversation shift to discussions about social media?
Yeah. He doesn't understand what the fuck it is. Right, he's like, he's just too old to deal with. I'm wondering, why is there a little child grabbing my leg? I need to know what this is. It's not a human. It doesn't eat solid foods.
great so now i'm in parenthood yeah he i you almost wonder if he was tricked into coming in that woman like where she was like this is part of the massage mr pacino now is it is it someone he's been with for a long time it's uh barbara walters 82 years old that's so funny i She was 29. And he was 82. Well, that's the lifestyle. He looks good, Pacino. Eddie, I don't agree with you.
He always looks like he just took goggles off his face. Oh, my God. I didn't know that. Wow. He looks like he was watching Oppenheimer. Like he was in the desert watching the explosion. He goes, that's going to kill a lot of Japanese people. He's just taking off his glasses. Yeah, I think it's powerful enough. Oh, we're going to blow up a lot of jobs.
I'm sorry, I think we have to go with Cillian Murphy. He's just a little more... I want to play Oppenheim, huh?
whoa that's a big bomb i love that we're doing oppenheimer and de niro these old school gen z gets it um but i do think that would that should be a new form of elder abuse is social media clips when they don't know what they're doing trends that they don't know yeah and and force enough yeah i guess it would be forcing that they are forcing them Really?
There's no way Martin Scorsese was like, hey, did you see the four non-blondes Nicki Minaj thing where it's half four non-blondes and then you rap Nicki Minaj? Can we do that? Honey, honey, let's do the Nicki Minaj thing. I'm going to set this up. I need nine hours to set up the shot. He's just continuously filming. She's like, we did it. Oh, no. You found another thing that upset you?
Is this another Scorsese? Yes. Yes. The kid. You would think the kid would be better looking. Just because... No, I mean it. Just because he's a big celebrity, you would think they get... They get raised in an environment where they would be- Expensive lotions. Yes, lotions. They go to the parts of the world where the sun doesn't give you cancer. Yes. Like St. Barth. Am I out of line to say that?
No, not at all. Can I be honest? And I know this is probably going to be a popular opinion, but I thought a very similar thing when I saw it for the first time. I went, oof. Like, Marty, you're going to have a kid old. Better be a hot kid. Yeah. Yes. Come on. What are you doing? Not hot. Just like kind of like... Yeah. Also, it's never the celebrity that wants to do the trend.
And then it just makes me think like, your daughter's just holding you up. Your daughter's just making you do this. This is elder abuse. Yes. Maybe if you would have abused your kid more, they wouldn't have... You know? I don't know. I'm just trying to get around to this. Oh, that's really unpopular. I didn't know this was the unpopular podcast.
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Chapter 5: What insights does Eddie share about his childhood experiences?
As we just talked about Martin Scorsese, one of the greatest artistic minds of our... Right, getting roped into TikTok. There was an article today that TikTok settled... Did you see this? Settled a lawsuit about being addictive. And they admitted they... I don't know, certain ways they marketed or something. Well, they do it like the same way that...
people get addicted to slot machines where every time they pull it, there was a 60 minutes piece like 15 years ago about this where they said, yeah, it was like around 2011, 2012. They did a piece where they were like the guy, he was a former programmer for Facebook. This is when Facebook was still the rage. And he was like, no, we, it's a targeted dopamine hits.
where yeah yeah that's been going on where they go like if you keep going then we'll give you something that will create a reaction out of you so you want to keep going so that's read the book and this was a while ago dopamine nation oh yeah yeah that's a i mean that's they found out a way to just like get us to be lab rats and touch the button absolutely i i lately i just like instagram
I don't know why I don't do TikTok. See, I stopped with Instagram. You did? There was a thing about it. I might have to. Bumming me out. No, I still post on it, and I still will look at it, but it lost being my primary thing. I like Reddit. Because Reddit's really good for... Are you serious? Yeah, but I don't go to the comedy shit. I go to, like, sports or movies or, like, entertainment.
And then you go... Now, granted, you can get lost down wormholes in that. Oh, absolutely. Very, but, like... My negative experience with Reddit was going on and looking at comedy shit. Because I love comedy shit, and then I would see stuff that would just make me... I don't go to any of my friends' subreddits. I don't go to any... I keep it impersonal.
I want it like... If you look at my feed, it's all like sports, movies, wrestling, and then like rant dogs. A lot of dog stuff. A lot of dog stuff. But now, the algorithm grabbed me. All they're putting up now on Reddit in my algorithm feed is dogs that are dying. Like final posts. And I went, I had to mute it. I had to mute pics of dogs. I'm sorry, r slash pics of dogs.
But I had to mute it because I was just like on my couch and it'd be like, this is Buster. He's been through everything. And you go, I don't know. The second I see where it's going, I go, I can't read this. I was crying on the toilet this morning. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Listen, I have been a huge fan of therapy.
I tell people, probably to the point that you're sick of hearing it, you're probably rolling your eyes right now. Well, if you're rolling your eyes, you probably need therapy. How about that? We'll play that little game. If you're rolling your eyes at this ad, you probably... Everybody needs therapy. Everybody needs someone to talk to.
You're a human being with... Myrtle's sneezing at me, but I don't care. I'm telling you... it's human being a human being has complicated feelings we're not a dog we can't just bury our face in a stuffed bee and and suck a hole that looks like it's bh we can't do that you're a human being you have you have complicated emotions i hope she's not eating that as i say as i poke her
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Chapter 6: How do Eddie and Dan discuss the impact of fame on personal relationships?
I think I'm going to call it the Billionaire Rehabilitation Center. Yes. And it just focuses around a rehab for billionaires where they try to make them empathy, empathetic.
my friend did uh rehab i've had a bunch of friends in rehab and one of the things they do is sometimes they'll take you out to a field and pet a horse so that you can i'm serious dan saint germain had a fantastic bit about this oh yeah he's like he goes that's how you know he's like damn i fucked up if you're in a field if you're in a field just petting if you're just in a field petting a horse but that's what we would need is like
just a billionaire to sit there with like a cleaning lady. And she's like, I have kids. And he's like, whoa. And your kids, like, I love them. Like rehab them into being humans again. Yeah. Because it's the, it's the, it's they're fortified by yes men. Yes. They're fortified by people. But they want that. And they build that and they can't deal with it.
You see, Elon must have got slapped into reality a little with the Doe shit because there was so much pushback on that shit. But I feel like guys like that, when they get pushback like that, they double down. That's true. Because that's always been their way out of it. That's true.
When you look at all of his business dealings and you go, well, he gets put in these situations where people go, you're fucked. And then he goes, I'm just going to double down. And then it works. And then he gets out of it. So he never has to go like...
who's i being a dick back there it'd be funny if he had one like for some reason he's got one blue collar friend in his life like a cabbie in brooklyn going and he bites him over this shit and he's like elon why are there so many fucking robots yeah why don't you get a real woman to blow you he goes dominic i would love to help you but you're asking too many difficult questions i don't know why aren't you more like joe rogan and just say yes
like billionaires they should have a blue collar friend they should have yeah if bezos had a friend that was like a pipe fitter in the pipe fitter union yes you know and bezos would be like with his weird wonk eye and he's all on steroids now and he'd be like hey my warehouse my warehouse employees are mad because they're going to try to unionize and one guy goes i love unions Yes, exactly.
He goes, Mark. He goes, Jeff, Jeffrey, what you don't understand is this house was bought by you. Exactly. I pay my membership fees. I got fucking friends. We go now. We hang out. Yeah, yeah. And Bezos ignores it and goes, here. Look, I got a new fucking thing. It's the size of an insect, and it surveils everything in 300,000 miles. Isn't that cool, Dominic?
And he goes, you're creeping me the fuck out. No, it's not cool, you fucking idiot. He smacks him. Get the fuck out. That's what they need. They need a friend that doesn't want things from them. Because you've been in this business a long time, and I've been in it over 20 years, and you see people change because. Yes. They get famous. I saw this in an interview one time. I forgot who said it.
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Chapter 7: What are the implications of billionaires' actions on society?
He was in Palm Springs when I finally got there. i never i never i never left no because i i am the fires close to you at some point it was somewhat close like someone told me it's good to be poor in la because you're not in the hills where the fires and the floods get you you're in the grid it would
all the valet people yeah that that is funny where they go they go well no one's picking up these cars and then all these rich all these poor people are driving like mercedes-benz and fucking and audis being like everyone died in the fire yeah i always think about you know because they talk about the the the tech billionaires elon and and zuckerberg i don't know if it's true but they're building compounds in new zealand for like the end of the world totally
Did you see Mountainhead? It was kind of based on that. Did you see that? Oh, I guess I'm better informed. No, it's... I guess I'll leave the conversation. No, it was a... And it kind of sucked. It was a little disappointing, but Corral was in it. Oh, where the four tech guys go away. I remember that. It was all about that shit. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I forget who wrote it, some big guy, but it kind of sucked. Yeah, but the premise itself is interesting because you go... Well, what happens, right? Hypothetically, let's play this out. The world ends. You get to your compound.
You're going to need security, but then what stops the security from going, well, I got the gun and I know how to fight and you're just a fucking nerd that knew how to program computers.
Yeah, there's a fucking guy, Douglas Rushoff, who writes about these billionaires and he's an economist and he's like just, he can't believe, like they took him to one of their conferences and he thought they were going to ask him questions
uh about questions about you know how do we help the society but no they just wanted to know how do we survive like do we have the people with shock collars who are our security like they really are taking it to the level of like like who who will have access to our food supply You know, I just showed my poor brain, my dumb brain, by going like, security will turn on you.
And they're like, we have electric dog collars. They're not going to do anything. They're going to obey us if they want to eat and live. Yeah. But then my thing is to just fucking kill me. Because I'm not going to live in a fucking post-apocalyptic society. No. Where there's six guys in New Zealand living perfectly fine and everyone else, it's Mad Max.
I was thinking that in a post-apocalyptic society, I did a woman show about this. Like, you're still trying to get to an audition. You got to suck someone off for gas. Yeah.
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Chapter 8: How does the episode conclude with reflections on comedy and life?
In my 20s, if I would have heard that, I would have been like, yeah, it sucks because I'm lighting a cigarette. I'm like, yeah, good luck. And now in my 40s, I go, what was the first sign? Yes. Because I'm like waiting for it to be like, ooh, if my right shoulder starts hurting. Whew.
oh yeah did you ever smoke cigarettes uh no just a lot of weed okay i was a cigarettes guy and a weed guy never a cigarette are you off of cigarettes now yeah i've been 13 years without smoking oh great but i you did some damage oh her and i want to come back katie and i are looking to smoke is that right because of all the shit why not why not why not if i what i'm going to be going through is it a real pleasure
yeah it's by the way this would be funny a commercial for smoking as the society collapses yeah you go listen hey it's all fallen might as well have a marlboro things like that yeah things like you know you know you know as you watch the chaos outside and have limited access to food supply and it's going to be 130 tomorrow you know what might be nice a marlboro red that's what it is that's how you sell it where you go not only is it an appetite suppressant
But you can light it off the burning buildings. Every time. I did that thing about the only thing I like about the LA fires is that I like cigars and I just lean out the window. It's really funny. Thanks, God. Well, my family's from Northern California and they've dealt with fires. My grandma lived in Lake County, which was like central to where all those fires happened in Northern California.
Is that near Mount Shasta?
uh no it is it is by uh it's by ukiah i don't know if you know where ukiah is it's up uh is it near oregon oh okay it's south of oregon it's it's about three hours north of the bay area oh okay yeah and it's uh i've been up to fucking eureka now yeah doing comedy eureka's fucking cool it's so far eureka's very mendocino it's like east of mendocino i don't know if you know mendocino i don't want to brag about do i know mendocino or not
All I'm saying is if you watched Murder, She Wrote... I never did. I had no interest in that. I'm reading Rush Off, Survival of the Richest. Well, I'm watching Lansbury. And I'm seeing how all this shit goes down. I saw her live when she was like 90-something in L.A. That's a thing you do in L.A., like...
My wife will go, you know, Angela Lansbury's at the Beverly Hills Cinema today introducing, you know, the Orient Express. She was doing that. And so we go, and she's there, you know. Yes, I am. You know, it was great. Yeah, I mean, she's Jessica Fletcher. She's one of the greatest actresses of our time. She was great. Bedknobs and broomsticks. I mean, the lady's been in everything.
Bedknobs and broomsticks. She's the best. But... when you go i remember in northern california they'd always have the fires or whatever and people in la would be like oh sucks sucks having those fires and then you're like fuck you guys so there was a little bit there's a real right north hates north south i'll tell you what it is I think North hates South more than South hates North. I agree.
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