SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma
“Restaurants need to stop with the artisanal ketchup!!” with Paul Scheer
24 Apr 2025
From their home studios, Kareem and Paul re-litigate how Heinz is the best ketchup of all time and why fries must be included with the price of a burger. They also dig into bald-guy and gap-tooth representation (does David Letterman have a gap?), fashion tips for aging cool guys, wasting time in the gym, what are Miracle Whip, Clamato, and club soda exactly, the Italian race debate, Paul’s ties to the mafia, the importance of a butter bell, pancake strategy, cooking for their children, accidentally ordering bottle service, and–as always–Takes on Takes©. Also: why is Heinz ghosting Kareem and Paul after offering a trip to their ketchup factory? Host: Kareem Rahma Creators: Kareem Rahma and Andrew Kuo Editor and Sound Producer: Dale Eisinger Artwork: Andrew Lawandus Theme Music: Tyler McCauley Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Full Episode
What the damn frick is up, everyone? It's your boy, Kareem Rahma, back with another episode of Subway Takes the Podcast. Today, I am joined by the legendary comedian, actor, sometimes magician at children's birthday parties, Paul Scheer. You may know him from his very en vogue gaps space between his teeth. Finally. It's made a comeback.
Look, you know, Lauren Hutton broke open that door and look, I need anything I can get. I'm a bald man. First of all, you know, bald representation is at an all time low. I feel like it's, there's sexy bald men, but there aren't just regular bald men. And if there are regular bald men, they're like, they're not looking good. The hair is out like on the side of their head.
Like I, I need to get some, Jason Statham is a bald man. LeBron James should embrace his bald man. I feel like we need to, we need to lead with bald men. I think you guys need to rise. Yeah. Look, I'm not calling out James Gunn, but I'm going to call out James Gunn and say, in your Superman movie, you cast Lex Luthor as a haired man? Come on, man. That should be going to a bald man.
We cannot have bald erasure here, all right?
That's true. Bald man representation has... I mean, people just don't really talk about it. Like, the fact that you are essentially a special breed, and it needs to be embraced. Like, we embrace... At this point, we embrace...
like i guess uh i think the word is like fat or whatever sure what is it we're we're we're we're nobody's everything right yeah we're showing every body type but bald always falls by the wayside look just spend a day and just look around at billboards tv ads whatever you're not gonna see that many ball you're gonna see like one bald man to eight it like that's like that's the ratio it's like i think less brother less i think you're actually right yeah
I've done it.
I've looked around. It's tricky, man. It's a tricky thing.
It's a tricky thing to be a bald man. How does it feel to be arguably one of the funniest bald men? If not the funniest.
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