Sweet Valley Hive
Episodes
“Small Language Models” (Sweet Valley High #88, Love Letters for Sale)
17 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we learn an eerily timely lesson in the dangers of what happens when we outsource empathy by having someone—or something—handle our com...
“A Boy Stealer is a Boy Stealer” (Sweet Valley High Super Star #5, Todd’s Story)
10 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Todd is minding his business, shooting basketball….s, when a shadowy figure from his past returns and threatens everything Todd holds dea...
“We Need a Hotline!” (Sweet Valley High #87, My Best Friend’s Boyfriend)
03 Mar 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Liz resists fascist censorship to force a necessary discussion of sexual harassment at Sweet Valley High. The surprisingly rich text touche...
“Can Anything a Boy Can Do, Can a Girl Be Doing It?” (Sweet Valley High #86, Jessica Against Bruce)
24 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This week, it’s a battle of the sexes in Sweet Valley when resident rich jerk Bruce—in a transparent bid for more screen time—creates a mysterio...
“3-2-1 Zoop” (Sweet Valley High #85, Soap Star)
17 Feb 2026
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have a departure from form as we attempt to recreate an episode we already recorded that was accidentally deleted by our very very very ...
“It’s a Rork-Shrack” (Sweet Valley High #84, The Stolen Diary)
16 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a stolen diary causes a modicum of drama in Sweet Valley and a near nervous breakdown for Pardo, who finds the disconnect between the book’...
“Not Everything’s Great in Paradise” (Sweet Valley High #83, Steven’s Bride)
09 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have a study in the terror of the domestic. When her mom gets transferred to London for a new job, it seems Cara’s only option is to e...
“Art Imitating Life Imitating Sweatshirt” (Sweet Valley High Super Star: Olivia’s Story)
02 Dec 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week’s text tackles the subject of High Art vs. Commerce, with Olivia (for reasons never explained) forced to choose between a life of responsi...
“Gaslight, Gatekeep, Cultboss” (Sweet Valley High #82, Kidnapped by the Cult!)
25 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Jessica gets involved with a group called the Good Friends, a local commune that is run by the incredibly hot Adam Marvel and is very clear...
“Unproblematic King Michael Jackson” (Sweet Valley High #81, Rosa’s Lie)
18 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have some nuanced discussion of ethno-racial identity and some even more nuanced discussion of ejaculate-guzzling (and that’s just lin...
“Who They? What Both? Girl?” (Sweet Valley High #80, The Girl They Both Loved)
11 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Note: We had some audio issues this week which will be fixed in the next episode. Thank you for your patience! This week, we have a book that is oste...
“Fuck, Marry, Kill: Chicken Salad Temperatures” (Sweet Valley High #79, The Long-Lost Brother)
04 Nov 2025
Contributed by Lukas
*Note: Due to circumstances that are definitely nobody’s fault, the audio is a little messed up for this episode. Don’t worry, we fix it soon (the...
“A Run-of-the-Mill Humiliation Ritual”(Sweet Valley High #78, The Dating Game)
23 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, (previously former second-string) quarterback Scott Trost can’t get a date, so he does what any sixteen year-old boy would do: writes ide...
“Teens and Anabolic Steroid Use” (Sweet Valley High #77, Cheating to Win)
16 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a doping scandal hits Sweet Valley when a character we don’t care about starts taking “magic vitamins” to help his track performance....
“Quick Ask Zoe” (Sweet Valley High #76, Miss Teen Sweet Valley)
09 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, it’s sister vs. sister ( 🎵ow OW OW!! 🎶) when the Miss Teen Sweet Valley pageant comes to town. Jess has entered the pageant and is ...
“He Wore a Rainbow Bracelet” (Sweet Valley High #75, Amy’s True Love)
02 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
GAY! GAY? GAY. G-G-GAAAAAAYYYYY! 🎶 We’ve got our first named gay character/ We’ve got the most important book of our lives/ Did I cry this mor...
“A Dangerous Diet…” (Sweet Valley High #74, The Perfect Girl)
26 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
*Content warning: eating disorders*Well, apparently President Bill Clinton has recently put out a PSA about eating disorders, so we have another book ...
“Guess What’s Got Me This Smiling?” (Sweet Valley High #73, Regina’s Legacy)
19 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a party this week as Robert and Pardo are physically co-present for only the second time in hive history! To celebrate, we experiment with the ...
“Is She His Girlfriend or Is She His Daughter?” (Sweet Valley High #72, Rock Star’s Girl)
12 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, there’s a new girl in town and she’s shrouded in mystery: is she the live-in girlfriend of a man old enough to be her father, or is she...
”Staring Jessica” (Sweet Valley High #71, Starring Jessica)
05 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, the demotic turn has hit Sweet Valley as we take a decidedly modern look at reality television.Jessica is auditioning to appear on a nation...
“Books Are Mother” (Sweet Valley Super Star, Enid’s Story)
24 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas in Sweet Valley, and the ghost of boyfriends past (ahem…Jeffrey French) and terrible dads have come to...
“Cheer Violence” (Sweet Valley High #70, Ms. Quarterback)
17 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have the ultimate battle for quarterback supremacy as newly no-longer-blind Ken Matthews faces off against (gasp) GIRL Claire Middleton....
“I Love My Lizard Brain” (Sweet Valley High #69, Friend Against Friend)
10 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
**Content warning: graphic racial violence**This week, we have a complicated book and a roller coaster of an episode. Our text follows Neil, a White ...
“I’ve Never Once Heard You Say Wow” (Sweet Valley High #68, The Love Bet)
02 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Just for fun, try this quick thought experiment.Soccer boy meets rocker girl.Soccer boy and rocker girl bond over classic cinema.Soccer boy and rocker...
“What Darts But a Mouse” (Sweet Valley High #67, The Parent Plot)
27 May 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Blonde twins scheming to romantically entrap their parents? We know what you’re thinking, but this is completely different. In The Parent PLOT (yes,...
“The Ululations and Throatations of the Situation” (Sweet Valley High #66, Who’s to Blame?)
29 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have the fallout from Tahoe in the second book of the trilogy dealing with the Wakefields’ marital drama.When their parents separate, ...
“The Rabbit and The Hare“ (Sweet Valley High Super Star #2, Bruce’s Story)
22 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, it’s Succession meets Flea Market Flip when grandfather Patman announces a cutthroat competition between Bruce and Roger, and the stakes ...
“The World is Imploding; Pass the Salad Tongs” (Sweet Valley High #65, Trouble at Home)
16 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
*** updated ***This week, we look into the void and come face-to-face with our own obsolescence. Pardo has made the fatal error of prompting ChatGPT t...
“The Most Chilling Chef’s Salad in History” (Sweet Valley High #64, The Ghost of Tricia Martin)
08 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There’s a new girl in town, and—wouldn’t you know it—she looks just like Steven’s dead girlfriend, Tricia Martin! This throws Steven into a ...
“I Noticed the Surfboard Gave You a Pretty Good Spanking” (Sweet Valley High #63, The New Elizabeth)
01 Apr 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Note: Readers are advised to read this book with a pair of scissors in hand.Sick of being pigeonholed as predictable and boring, Liz decides to surpri...
“But the Ginger Chicken Just Arrived!” (Sweet Valley High #62, Who’s Who?)
25 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week is an absolute barn burner of a book, as we meet two of the most memorable characters in all of literature: cool rocker chick Magenta Galaxy...
“It Forks No Lightning” (Sweet Valley High #61, Boy Trouble)
18 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week’s book, as Dylan Thomas (as quoted by Robert) says, “forks no lightning.” The A-plot’s central conflict revolves around Patty’s bo...
“Electra Who: For the Love of DILFs” (Sweet Valley High Super Star #1, Lila’s Story)
11 Mar 2025
Contributed by Lukas
What this week’s book lacks in cover and title interest, it more than makes up for in fun, froth, and flirtation. It’s our first Super Star Editio...
“A Crumpled Toyota…” (Sweet Valley High #60, That Fatal Night)
11 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Join us under the covers this week for some quiet sobbing (it should feel wrong!) as we follow star quarterback Jason Street–oops, we mean Ken Matth...
“Bureaucracy Rothschild” (Sweet Valley High #59, In Love Again)
04 Feb 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Todd and Liz negotiate their burgeoning new relationship as they are pitted against each other in a rope climb for this week’s high-stake...
“The New President of Varitronics” (Sweet Valley High #58, Brokenhearted)
28 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, shockwaves echo throughout Sweet Valley with the return of America’s second favorite homo, Todd. Yes, “Todd’s back”—and this time...
“Which Deep Hues?!” (Sweet Valley High #57, Teacher Crush)
21 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, beloved side character Olivia has her eyes on the hot new painting teacher at Sweet Valley High, who—spoiler alert—lacks appropriate bo...
“Horny for Spirit” (Sweet Valley High Super Thriller #4, Deadly Summer)
14 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In our fourth Super Thriller, we have pranks gone too far. In order to embarrass Liz, Jess and Lila contrive an apparently harmless Ouija Board scheme...
“Denial Bangle Arguing” (Sweet Valley High #56, Lost at Sea)
07 Jan 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Jess is stranded on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific. In an eerie parallel, Pardo struggles to assemble an over-the-toilet st...
“Which Ear is the Gay Ear?” (Sweet Valley High #55, Perfect Shot).
17 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We are in the basketball mood this week! Join us as we follow Sweet Valley High’s performance in the playoffs and ponder the important question: are...
“Again with this, with the rope and the trunk” (Sweet Valley High #54, Two Boy Weekend)
10 Dec 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have a devious bait and switch: what appears to be a fun and frothy story of dating two boys in one weekend turns out to be a cautiona...
“Barista under Duress” (Sweet Valley High #53, Second Chance)
19 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Pardo goes on an epic quest to make coffee. Meanwhile in Sweet Valley, Kristen the tennis prodigy goes on quite the journey herself, figuri...
“UncleGate Part 2: This Time It’s Personal” (Sweet Valley High #52, White Lies)
12 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Robert’s GI system tackles an overabundance of acid, and our text tackles an age old question: Should girlfriends let their boyfriends sp...
“Yeah, I Know What a Point Spread Is” (Sweet Valley High #51, Against the Odds)
05 Nov 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’re plunged into the seedy underbelly of the world of sports betting as Ronnie Edwards (Small Fry) tries to figure out how to pay off h...
“We don’t kill ghosts. It’s not appropriate” (Sweet Valley High Super Thriller #3, No Place to Hide)
29 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, in honor of Halloween, we have an especially spooky text full of fake ghosts, threatened imprisonment, and terrifying late night calls to t...
“The Way of the Bamboo” (Sweet Valley High #50, Out of Reach)
22 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we are overjoyed to be joined in a totally non-tokenizing way by artist, musician, and the specialist of guests Elliot Caroll on the moment...
“The Pacific Really Makes You Think” (Sweet Valley High #49, Playing for Keeps)
15 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have a return to form involving fashion show sabotage, a twin identity switch, and Jessica using all of her charisma, uniqueness, nerve ...
“Reddest Head” (Sweet Valley High #48, Slam Book Fever)
08 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Somebody call the doctor! Everyone in Sweet Valley (including Robert and Pardo) have a chronic case of Slam Book Fever! It’s positively diagnosable ...
“Assaultmaker” (Sweet Valley High #47, Troublemaker)
01 Oct 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have a love triangle nobody cares about in the A plot. Thankfully, the B plot involves Jess flexing her comedic chops and evolving into ...
“A Powerful Allegory about Jerking Off” (Sweet Valley High #46, Decisions)
24 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, Pardo is sick with a cold, and Liz is sick with an unquenchable lust for her new dirty habit. While her friend Robin Wilson is asking the b...
“The System Is Working” (Sweet Valley Super Thriller 2, On the Run)
17 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, a stranger with a shadowy past has come to Sweet Valley. Is sexy poet/barista Eric a murderer on the run, or is he perhaps running from dan...
“Who Wants Eggs?” (Sweet Valley High #45, Family Secrets)
10 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Cousin Kelly is visiting Sweet Valley, but the grin on her face belies a deep-seated—dare we say, repressed?—darkness that emerges only in her nig...
“An Unprecedented Weaponization of Seasonal Allergies” (Sweet Valley High #44, Pretenses)
03 Sep 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, the dybbuk known as Steven is bravely grappling with one of the most serious issues we’ve encountered yet: seasonal allergies. Meanwhile,...
“True Life: My Nana’s a Bitch” (Sweet Valley High #43, Hard Choices)
27 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, there’s a new bitch in town, and her name is…Nana? Enid’s beloved grandmother has come to stay with the family, but she’s not the...
“Solving Racism One ‘Whatever’ at a Time” (Sweet Valley High #42, Caught in the Middle)
20 Aug 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’re back from vacation and ready to tackle the complex subject of interracial relationships. Cheerleader Sandy Bacon is dating Manuel L...
“He’s Definitely Problematic Because He Was Holding a Corpse” (Sweet Valley High Super Thriller #1, Double Jeopardy)
23 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A spooktacular hello to our listeners this week as we dig into our first Super Thriller! Liz and Jess have a summer job at the local paper, and it fee...
“To Be Being or To Be Not Exactly Being” (Sweet Valley High #41, Outcast)
16 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we deal with the aftermath of a painful and shocking event that rocked Sweet Valley. Molly, our titular outcast, is being blamed and find...
“A Drug Dealer Who Loves a Pun” (Sweet Valley High #40, On the Edge)
09 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
If you know you know, and if you don’t know, you’re about to know real quick. This week is a Very Special Episode about a Very Special Book that r...
“A Frisson of Awkwardness” (Sweet Valley High #39, Secret Admirer)
02 Jul 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a tale of three catfishes at Sweet Valley High this week as the school paper’s new personals column causes ripples among the students. But wh...
“You is a deictic” (Sweet Valley High #38, Leaving Home)
25 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we get to play that classic party game, Swiss Boarding School Telephone, as Liz applies for a competitive scholarship that would allow her ...
“You’re Gonna Enable” (Sweet Valley High #37, Rumors)
18 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, rumor(s?) are flying around Sweet Valley High as everyone tries to figure out mysterious Susan Stewart’s real background—is her mother ...
"Squirmy Little Weasel” (Sweet Valley High #36, Last Chance)
11 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
The powerful feminist message of this week’s text caused Robert to weep. Our lead character, Johanna, has painfully low self esteem because sadly, i...
“It Doesn’t Feel like Gingham to Me” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #6, Spring Fever)
04 Jun 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we finally get what we’re all been waiting for—a real carnival! Add to that a wild horse, a torturous tour of the farm, a fake twin swa...
“Locker Room Lovemaking” (Sweet Valley High #35, Out of Control)
28 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Something’s rotten in Sweet Valley this week: cases of expired Tofu-Glo in the Wakefields’ garage. Tofu-Glo is, naturally, the soy-based beauty ML...
“Bouillabaisse, Will You Marry Me?” (Sweet Valley High #34, Forbidden Love)
21 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Two households, both likely split-levels, In fair Sweet Valley, where we lay our scene, From ancient pizza law, to new nonsense, Where local gossips s...
“And We *Must* Trace the Angle of Reflection” (Sweet Valley High #33, Starting Over)
14 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we have a story of a teen girl in the foster system struggling to find her place after moving in with her cousins. To balance out this some...
“Bad Mood Holiday” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #5, Winter Carnival)
07 May 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week Sweet Valley is abuzz with the promise of a “Winter Carnival.” Unfortunately we get neither winter nor a carnival in this book. Instead,...
“The Identity and the Hairdo” (Sweet Valley High #32, The New Jessica)
30 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Things are getting drastic in Sweet Valley this week—sick of being mistaken for her gorgeous sister, Jessica does the unthinkable: she dyes her hair...
"The Bullet of the Duel” (Sweet Valley High #31, Taking Sides)
23 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we’ve got one of the hottest matchmaking duels of all time! What’s a matchmaking duel? No one knows. Even so, come for the introduction...
“Pascal’s Tennis Shop Schedule” (Sweet Valley High #30, Jealous Lies)
16 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Robert’s in a devil-may-care mood today, and thankfully in Sweet Valley, the stakes couldn’t be lower. Sorority sabotage vis-a-vis tennis shop sch...
“He’s 21 and Could You Just Let Him In” (Super Edition #4, Malibu Summer)
09 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It’s (somehow?) suddenly summer in Sweet Valley, and no summer would be complete without hot days at the beach, cool nights spent with friends, and ...
"Manufactured Lesbian Rivalry for Elizabeth’s Sexual Titillation” (Sweet Valley High #29, Bitter Rivals)
02 Apr 2024
Contributed by Lukas
“Bitter rivals”—better titled “Indifferent Acquaintances”—make for strange bedfellows this week when Liz’s childhood friend Amy returns ...
“A Little Shampoo Goes a Long Way” (Sweet Valley High #28, Alone in the Crowd)
26 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Listener, have you ever felt like an ugly duckling who didn’t fit in? This week, we explore the deeply relatable story of Lynne Henry, who takes adv...
“Danger, Intrigue, Romance, Mistaken Identities…J’adore!” (Sweet Valley High Special Edition #3, Spring Break)
19 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Bon voyage! SVH goes transatlantic this week as our favorite twins swap homes with a glamorous and mysterious family in Cannes for Spring Break! But e...
“Hornystruck” (Sweet Valley High, #27 Lovestruck)
12 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, our positively RIPPED quarterback Ken is hornystruck–oops, we mean lovestruck–with the glamorous and sophisticated Suzanne, and we wat...
“And Sometimes We Must Blame Victims” (Sweet Valley High, #26 Hostage!)
05 Mar 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Picture it, the perfect crime: a beautiful teenager trapped in her mansion, used as a pawn in a deranged criminal’s corporate espionage, with only O...
“Sometimes People Need New Assholes” (follow up for Sweet Valley High #25, Nowhere to Run)
27 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
And now for something completely different! This week, we revisit a previous text as Pardo shares a modest secondary interpretation of SVH #25, Nowher...
“She Really Is…Mostly…A Bitch!” (Sweet Valley High #25, Nowhere to Run)
20 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week’s episode has it all—armchair diagnoses of personality disorders, a deep-dive into 1980s architecture, parenting advice from a certified...
“A Christmas Miracle? or Munchausen by Proxy?” (Super Edition #2, Special Christmas)
13 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas—don’t you dare say “holiday”—in Sweet Valley, and this one’s a doozy. We’ve got a medi...
“Famously Actively Grieving” (Sweet Valley High #24, Memories)
06 Feb 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Grief comes in waves and so does Deja Vu, because we’re feeling like we’ve read this book before. Join us as for a discussion of the challenges of...
“Disgusting Salty Warm Wet Kisses” (Sweet Valley High #23, Say Goodbye)
30 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
We hate to see him go, but we love to watch him leave. This week, we’re pouring one out for Turd--oops, we mean Todd--who’s off to Vermont to liv...
“Inspiring Journey of Woman Finding Way for Benefit Girls of Sweet Valley” (Sweet Valley High #22, Too Much in Love)
23 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
Can one be too much in love? Can one have not enough lashes? This week the kids are struggling with the complexities of relationships, dealing with ...
“Sumptuous Spanish-Style Banquets in Santa Barbara” (Sweet Valley High Super Edition #1, Perfect Summer)
16 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
What makes a perfect summer? If you’re anything like us, you’re picturing a bear attack, an out-of-control forest fire, a breakup with your boyfri...
“I’m a Sister First and a Shitty Reporter Second” (Sweet Valley High #21, Runaway)
09 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we continue to regress into angry teenagers as we follow Jessica’s COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE journey as she contemplates running away fro...
"La Belle Indifference" (Sweet Valley High #20, Crash Landing)
02 Jan 2024
Contributed by Lukas
A plane crash, hysterical paralysis, and food poisoning–this book has it all! Jessica takes a cooking class and falls in love with the art of Fren...
Minisode: The Number 137
26 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Is there a number that holds the key to the secrets of the universe? This week, we have something a little different to tide you over for the holiday...
“The Horse Doesn’t Know It’s a Race” (Sweet Valley High #19, Showdown)
19 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a showdown this week, with Lila and Jess both interested in the same guy. Jack is gorgeous, charming, and cultured… but there’s something m...
"Wow! Such Opposite Mansion Decor!" (Sweet Valley High #18, Head Over Heels)
12 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Is it fiction or a natural fact? This week we ask: do opposites attract? Regina (and Robert) are head over heels for Bruce, But is it really true lo...
“People Marry the Eiffel Tower” (Sweet Valley High #17, Love Letters)
05 Dec 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we ponder one of life’s greatest questions: what is love (baby, don’t hurt me)? Does it take two to tango, or can Caroline Pearce dance...
“Which Fork Is This?” (Sweet Valley High #16, Rags to Riches)
28 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Roger’s world turns upside down when he learns he’s been a millionaire’s son all along! His new life involves a Cruella-like “aunt” (in pink...
"Porsche is a Subset of Rich" (Sweet Valley High #2, Secrets)
28 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
It may be the dog days of summer in 2023, but it’s certainly fall in Sweet Valley, bringing us ghostly resonances, trick-or-treating, spooky secret...
"Promises Are Okay; Art School Saves” (Sweet Valley High #15, Promises)
21 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A promise is a promise and a promise must be kept. Or must it? This week, we delve into promises both lighthearted (taking care of loved ones) and gra...
"Beef Tournedos and Call it a Night" (Sweet Valley High #14, Deceptions)
14 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Listen along as Pardo argues with herself on my behalf about Mrs. Doubtfire, pleads for us to #believehomosexuals (no homo), and dives into the most e...
"It’s Kind of Nice to Have Liz in a Bunker" (Sweet Valley High #13, Kidnapped!)
07 Nov 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Welp, Liz is in a bunker, but at least Jess is getting the chance to meet a new hottie! There’s repression, obsession, and lots of digressions in th...
"Flopping Helplessly Side to Side" (Sweet Valley High #12, When Love Dies)
31 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
We've got a mixed bag this week: a cancer diagnosis, candy-striping hijinks, and...an abduction via chlorofoam. Chlorofrome. CHLOROFORM. Join us...
“Call Her Suzy (All Her Friends Do),” Sweet Valley High #11, Too Good to be True
24 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
This week, we learn that all that glitters might just be too good to be true. A stolen lavaliere, uncomfortable hose play, and a discourse on the eth...
"The Whore Not Lived" (Sweet Valley High #10, Wrong Kind of Girl)
17 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
A sensitive conversation boils over into a fight on this week’s episode. Once we simmer down, we get to the meat of the episode: cheerleading drama,...
"The Boy Who Cried ‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’" (Sweet Valley High #9, Racing Hearts)
10 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
The titular race may take a backseat in this one, but Francine still knows how to get our hearts pounding. Join us for a discussion of the world of wo...
"The Playful Soap Suds War" (Sweet Valley High #8, Heartbreaker)
03 Oct 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Surf’s up in Sweet Valley, and someone’s about to get their heart broken! Or… are they? Join us for a discussion of lost loves, grief, and the e...
"A Volcano of Steam and Froth" (Sweet Valley High #7, Dear Sister)
26 Sep 2023
Contributed by Lukas
Dear Listener, have we got a book for you! Join us for a rollercoaster ride as we discuss comas, onion soup dip recipes, and perhaps the most lasting ...