REMASTERED: Better Than Before: How To Change Your Habits, with Gretchen Rubin (Behavior, Productivity, Goal Setting, Self Improvement)
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I think a lot of times people get discouraged because they try and fail to form a habit over and over. But in fact, they haven't set it up in a way that's right for them. And so that's why they're not succeeding. What you see is that the people who are happier, healthier, and most productive are the people who have figured out themselves and they've set up their lives to suit them.
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Gretchen Rubin has books that were both instant New York Times bestsellers, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. And she truly is one of the world's leading thinkers and writers on habits and happiness and better than before. It is a book all about how we change our habits. So Gretchen, thanks for being here.
Well, I'm very happy to be talking to you today.
Yeah. So I love the idea of habits and changing habits.
You know, as you said, I wrote two books about happiness, and I had been spending a lot of time thinking and researching and talking to people about happiness, and I began to notice a pattern that often when people talk about, well, a happiness boost that they've had, but really even more often a happiness challenge that they face, they often were pointing to something that at its core involved a problem with a habit. So somebody would say, like, oh, I'm exhausted all the time. But really to me that sounded like, you're not going to bed early enough. Like, why aren't you able to form the habit of turning the light out at 11 instead of at 2 a.m.? What's going on with your habits? And often people would talk about a habit that they knew that if they made it or broke it would make them happier, but somehow they just weren't able to translate that into action. And then I had a lunch with a friend who made this casual comment that got me obsessed with habits. And she said the thing is I would be happier if I exercised. And when I was in high school, I was in the track team.
And I never missed track practice. But I can't go running now. Why? This just floored me. I was like, what is it? It's the same behavior. It's the same person. What's different? What meant that at one point to have it was effortless and now she can't do it. Try as she might. And so then I was like, okay, that's it. My next book, Habits.
I love it. Do you believe that there is kind of a one-size-fits-all solution to changing our habits, or do you think it's something different?
I think that so many people say start small, or do it for 30 days, or have a cheat day, or do it first thing in the morning. And all those strategies work well for some people, sometimes, but they don't work for everybody all the time where we would all have perfect habits. And I think really what I found when I really delved into this is that There is no magic one. And what we really need to do is to think about ourselves, understand ourselves, the significant elements of our behavior, and then shape our habits to suit us. Sometimes people are like, well, this is what Steve Jobs did, so this is what I'm going to do. Well, that doesn't tell you anything about yourself. I mean, maybe it'll give you some interesting ideas, but it doesn't mean it's going to work for you. And I think a lot of times people get discouraged because they try and fail to form a habit over and over. But in fact, they haven't set it up in a way that's right for them. And so that's why they're not succeeding.
But if they took a different approach, they might very well have a different outcome. And so in Better Than Before, what I'm trying to do is talk about, well, how do we understand ourselves as it comes to kind of our habit nature? What should we understand about ourselves? And then how might we put that into practice to shape our habits and suit ourselves?
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