Chapter 1: What are the latest updates on ACC Head Grim Lane?
New chair, who does? Yeah, I like it. I like the vibe in here. It's changed. Joe stole it from somewhere. We're not going to disclose where. That's come from Joe's house, I reckon. Do you reckon? It's a bit of a mid-century kind of vibe to it, but no. Joe's house looks like a... Looks like the inside of a mid-century design magazine.
Funnily enough, I'm pretty sure there are mid-century design magazines in your house as well.
Chapter 2: How did the Crusaders show support in Super Rugby?
Is that right? There is. This is a bit of inspiration. None from myself, though. It's mostly the better half that's putting that all together. Yeah.
Chapter 3: What insights does Manaia share about the Warriors' Round 1 victory?
It doesn't surprise me. I found myself at a market on the weekend. Yeah. And there was a guy. Matakana? No. Takapuna? Hobsonville. Oh, okay. And there was a guy there selling pots and stuff like that. Quite often is, eh? And they were quite cool. My mum bought one. Oh, yeah. She was like, you should get one. I was like, oh, I'll bring the missus down here. You should get one, man. Next week.
Where's that? Hobsonville? Yeah. All right, I might see you there. Yeah, it comes down on the weekend. Nary a weekend goes by where Joe Jerry doesn't wake up on a hangover and have to go straight to Plant Barn. I feel like every time I text you on a Sunday morning, you're at Plant Barn. Yeah, a bit of Plant Barn, a bit of Freedom, a bit of... Ikea? No, Ikea's too mainstream. Ah, yeah. Yeah.
Jungle disorderly. Yeah. Are we recording? Yes, we are. Okay, Grim Lane, where is he? What is he doing? I have seen a picture of him having a beer last night. I believe he made it to Delhi, which is outside of the dry state. Man, I mean, if anyone, I know there's a lot of people, there's people furious on the text machine in the Hauraki Breakfast Show.
If it makes you feel any better, he's having a turgid time over there because he couldn't hit the piss. They lost. He hasn't stopped moving. He hasn't stopped moving. He has slept in a bed once. He's horrendous with admin as well. And so just know that he'll be just squabbling about, flapping his wings, just trying to figure out where to go, spinning around in circles, going up and down.
But he is on his way back. So that's, I suppose, a positive. How long do you reckon that beer lasted? No, it wouldn't have stood a chance. He took that photo. He would have hit post. That's the second one. No, that's the second one. He would have hit post and that beer would have been deleted before the photo got to the internet, I reckon.
Like Muhammad Ali switching the bedroom lights off and getting into bed before the room went dark. That's what G-Lane would have been doing over there. Did you talk to him on the radio show yesterday? Yeah, we did. Was it Monday, maybe? Yeah.
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Chapter 4: What is the significance of the Grim Lane curse?
I think he's been genuinely blindsided by the amount of vitriol he's received about this whole Grim Lane curse thing. Yeah, this is the first time that he's really been a part of something that isn't... Like a movement. Yeah. Well, what it is, it's the first time he's been to a final where there's been a lot of noise about the curse before the final.
So people were already baying for blood that he was going over there. In the past, in 2015, 2019, these things... That was the birth of the curse. Yeah. Now everyone's aware of the curse and it was worst case scenario for him because he went over there and they did lose. And now, I mean, it's... He's copping it, man. I've got to be honest. We're getting some screenshots in. He turned his DMs off.
Yeah, he's had to. He's had to private his Instagram account, turn his DMs off and change his phone number just so people can't get through to him. I think we are going to share some of them at some stage. But he is so often the... the giver of such comments or the giver of such allegations that other people are involved with things like a curse, Pinot Noirs, whatever.
Now that he is the recipient, it's going to be interesting to see how it goes. Because what he has learned is people are willing to turn on him. G-Lane fans are willing to turn on him. Oh, they're the most willing to turn on anyone. The Lizards have done a 4-1-80 and gone, fuck you, G-Lane.
The thing is, and the hard part about this, is the only way to break the curse is to go to another final and have them win. And I think that's what he was trying to do this time around. I'm circling the date of maybe the Super Rugby final if the Chiefs make that. Yeah. I'd quite like them to go to that. Oh, but it has to be on destination. What if they lose?
Paul Stewart Ford had a good point where he said, you know, you could have picked an easier assignment rather than India in India in a T20, which is not our strongest format. Either.
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Chapter 5: How is the Warriors' performance impacting fan perceptions?
There's something about the change the pitch. Yeah. There's a lot of red soil, black soil shit. Chicanery going on. Yeah, that is a good point. He could have picked one, you know, for example, if someone farts through into the next Rugby World Cup and we're playing like, I don't know, Tonga or something. Yeah, right, yeah. I'd really target that for Gillian. That would work.
It has to be a high stakes game that isn't it as well. There's a vibe thing about it. It has to pass the sniff test. We've talked about this a lot. The criteria we set on. Too much. Yeah, the criteria we settled on was if he travels away from his home region to support his team. Yeah, okay, right.
So that means if it's a domestic competition, if he follows the Chiefs to any other town other than Hamilton.
Chapter 6: What are the implications of player trades in the NRL?
Yeah. then that constitutes the curse. Oh, that's good. And in the international team, that only counts if he's not in New Zealand, if he's overseas. So domestic, if it's outside of Hamilton, that's a curse. And international, if it's outside of New Zealand, that's a curse. We don't consider the Warriors, him showing up to a Warriors game to be a curse. Okay, that's good.
Because they're not from Hamilton. You guys have discussed this at length. Oh, yeah.
Chapter 7: How are the Warriors preparing for their upcoming matches?
No, I think we even contacted a witch doctor or something, a Romany gypsy woman, to see if we could convey the curse from him to someone else. How do you get rid of a curse? Could we absolve him of the curse? Because my theory is... Give it to Pixie or something. Well, yeah, I don't know if you can give it to like animals, but I know he hates his cat. Yeah, okay.
So like he could potentially convey the curse onto his cat. That would make that cat very powerful. It would make a very powerful cat, yeah. How often are cats going to sporting fixtures? Not often. That is the positive there, Joe. Or then the other thing is I feel like a baby, it'd be very easy to convey a curse onto a baby.
But the confusion for that child growing up, not knowing, not knowing, not knowing. While we're watching it. Not finding out. Like going to every sporting event, every sporting event this baby goes to, just, God, I've never been to a game where my team wins. That feels harsh. I just have to assume that that's how Lane got this curse in the first place. Do you think?
She's an eight-year-old with a moustache. Do you think the curse is like this interdimensional entity? With dimension. With dimension. On level with the power of like it or the shining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it kind of just lies dormant for a few years and then every kind of two years at a major sporting event, it becomes awake and then it draws ā
Chapter 8: What listener feedback is discussed in the 'Yours Please' segment?
lane to these events and then it feeds on like anxiety and fear and like anger and sadness and then it just disappears off again to hibernate for another two years or three years or so i think the opening scene for the horror movie of the grim lane curse is the 2007 cricket world cup in barbados you know and it opens on that the credits are still rolling and he's there and it's like him and his mates we're off to the finals
And then they lose and then it just goes down and down. And then it's like four years later. Yeah. And then he's here and then four years later. And then. There's a franchise in it for sure as well if you really wanted to get. Yeah, 100%. There's an entire story arc there. There's a universe that could be created around it. Anyway. There's a prequel. Maybe. Actually, the first one.
The prequel would be good. The first one's probably. There must have been a sporting fiction when he was 11 or 12 that he can think back to that went, oh, hang on. I feel like 2015 might be actually the first movie, and then 2007's the prequel. The prequel, yeah. Yeah, okay, I see. The most recent one. The Aussie final at the MCG or wherever it was. Yeah, okay. Enough with the cricket adjacent.
What about the cricket itself? Did you watch it? Yeah, I did watch it. Oh, you were in here? Jesus, sorry. No, I was only in there for a bit, but I was at home. I felt like that game was over within the first few, I mean, it was over before it even started because they stacked the deck in their favor. Yeah. As they do.
I said on the radio the other day that it was like, it's like when a kid invites all his mates around to his backyard or like to come play PlayStation with him and just everything is set up for him. He gives you the shitty controller. Yeah. Changes the difficulty. He's learned all of the moves on Tekken or whatever and he just towels you up. Yeah.
big middle finger right in your face and then sends you on your way. That's what it felt like. I'm not sure if any other nation is going to win a T20 ever again after seeing the way that India played yesterday. I don't think so. It was one of the scariest performances I've ever seen in sport, like one of the most dominant performances.
We did not even look like for a second we were in it and Seifert was hitting back-to-back sixes from pretty much the second over. Yeah, yeah, that's right. But I think that whole World Cup, if you told me that that's how it was going to go, I would have been happy with that. I mean, that's how I thought it was going to go anyway. Yeah. Our preparation for that tournament was perfect.
We got absolutely towed up by India. And India, that's exactly what we wanted. We wanted to be underdogs coming into it. farted around in the pool play. Then we get through on a rain, a washout and then a net run rate debacle that puts us through. We fucking hump South Africa. And then we lose in the performance of the tournament. Yeah.
And then we lose in the final and then, uh, world cricket, which as we know is run by Indian cricket, uh, select no black caps in the tournament team. Not one was listed in there. Finn Allen couldn't get a run. There's a, I was going to call him a cunt. He's probably a lovely guy. Tim Seifert couldn't get a run. Tim Seifert couldn't get a run. Rich from Ravindra couldn't get a run.
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