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Chapter 1: What was the recent Europe trip about?
Yeah. So what Joe is referencing is while we were in Europe, we had several shows in three different countries. First stop was in Glasgow. Glasgow, Scotland. Scotland, Scotland, Scotland. Yeah. You know. And then we went right over London. Fucking. Down it. Fuck off. Yeah. And then. We had three shows there. Had a great time there. And then we ended up in Dublin, Ireland. Yeah.
I'm still working on that one. That's the only one I. But it's tough. You scared me. Hmm? Joey scared me into practicing because as soon as I practiced the Scottish accent and I think I got it pretty good. It's good. You know, just like give me something to say. Hey, how are you? See, but like give it like something with like, Hey, how are you?
Like, it's not great, but like while it was there, it was better. I think, I think. Okay. It's the air. I think the air and the ground. Blame the air and the ground. You know, but like Scotland, how are you?
Yeah.
Chapter 2: How did they experience Scotland and its culture?
We had a fucking proper time in Scotland. How many Guinnesses do you think that you had? We also had a baby Guinness shot for the first time. Those are delicious. Those are delicious. And the reason they call them baby Guinness is because they look like a little Guinness. Baby Guinness. I would say a couple dozen.
He's gasping over there. He's all over.
Love it. Listen, I've always... I love this stuff.
You know, it's so fucking funny.
Fucking funny. Yeah. Frank, why does this upset you? I didn't like Guinness when we were 19. Let it go. It was over 10 years ago. But even a couple years ago, when we were recording episodes of the Basement Yard podcast, which you could find everywhere, you would openly say, I don't like Guinness. It's gross to me. And you know what? I'm not going to give you too much.
What do you want out of this interaction? Nothing. I literally was just going to say I'm not going to give you too much shit because I understand our palate changes as we grow up and we experience more of the world. I do. That's what I'm saying. There's no need to bring it up. I brought it up, bitch. Now what? I said I liked it. And then you're like, oh, you didn't like it 10 years ago.
I think it was just... A decade ago, you said you didn't like it. It's... Joey, you and I need to hold each other accountable. So as we grow up in life and we like things that we previously had not liked, we're going to bring it up. So... You've done this to me too. You like the same things that you've liked since 2009. And then there's some other stuff that I've also liked too. Which ones?
Watches. I like watches. I used to make fun of watches. It's true. I used to make fun of them, but see, I grow. I blossom into this beautiful butterfly that you see in front of you. So you're allowed, but I'm not. No, you are. I just said I'm not going to give you too much shit. But you gave shit. You handed me shit on a platter. So we took the red eye into Edinburgh. Am I saying that right?
Because it's not pronounced that way. It is spelled Edinburgh. Edinburgh. Yeah. I think the G-H is just like... Yeah. It's not like... Edinburgh. And then some of us... It was a little tough on some of us. You know, I can't sleep on planes. You... I barely slept. So we were pretty tired. Mm-hmm. Best way to stay awake was with a couple Guinness. A couple of Guinness. And seeing a castle, too.
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Chapter 3: What are their thoughts on historical timelines and time travel?
what do you mean you're gonna take your brain put it in a six-year-old so that you have a bedtime and then and then you're gonna play with your toys i would like to do that yes i have all my toys play with the toys but you won't even have the nostalgic effect like you're you're you're i would be like i remember this these are like yeah because i still have my current day brain oh you want to live deja vu just like live for like a couple days not not too long okay you know and then i would tell my parents like first of all dad come home right let's talk
There's this thing that's coming out called Google, called Apple. Oh, Apple had been out at that point. So was Google. When we were six? I think so, right? Say Google, Amazon, Apple. Bitcoin.
Yeah.
Well, that's in the future. I would tell them about that too. I would tell them that above anything. I would say all of those. Amazon, Google, Apple, Bitcoin. Okay.
uber maybe because uber blew up i would say put money into those things as soon as you can don't fuck around do you think don't fuck around this is coming from the body of a six-year-old by the way yeah i think my dad would not take me seriously i don't think anybody would you think your mom would be like yes six-year-old i'm gonna and i'll be like i can tell you things about yourself that you don't know that i know yet
So I'll fuck with her. But you can make that up, yo. A six-year-old could say that to you. Like, your daughter could be like— No, but, like, it would be real. It would be—I'm not saying, like, in the future. But, like, at that time, be like, by the way, I know what's currently going on with you. I know you haven't told us, but, like, I'm showing you I'm wise beyond my years here.
You've watched a lot of movies. I have. Too many. I love how that's—that your plan is to play with your toys when you're six years old. That's—
You could do that now.
Yeah, you could do that now. No, it's weird if I do it now.
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Chapter 4: What would they do if they could time travel to their childhood?
Yeah, that one I would probably – I mean your parents weren't in Manhattan. True. But I would say spread the word about the island.
Yeah, I mean, so you think that people are not going to listen to me about Apple, Google, Uber, Amazon, and Bitcoin, but they're going to listen to you about an oncoming terrorist attack that kills 3,000 people.
I'll be honest with you. First of all, I'm not going back to 1998. If I had a time machine. Oh, let me guess. Let me guess. You're going back to 2013. So you could see 21-year-old Joe and just be like, hey, stop shaving your head. Let's talk about the future. Also, Young and Restless is not a good clothing brand investment right now. You should probably stop wearing it so much. Reckless.
Did I say Restless? Yeah. It's a soap opera. That's a soap opera? The Young and the Restless, yeah. Do you watch soap operas?
Is that a thing? Oh, okay.
I was going to say that's bananas. I wouldn't go back in my life. I would go way behind that. To do what? See what it was like. I mean, you can read about what it was like. Why do you need to see it? Frank, you already lived this. You can just remember it. But I forgot it. Your fault. And I'm setting myself up for the future.
So are you going to be like, hey, young Warren Buffett, let's talk about who I am to you and how I can, once I'm born in 1992, how we can work together. No. I think if I had the choice to be like, you can go back to any time in life and experience that for a certain amount of whatever, like I wouldn't pick shit I've already experienced. Why would I do that? Crazy.
Because you want to re-experience it, re-solidify the memory in your brain, the feeling, so you could pass that along to future generations, whether they be your children, your grandchildren, or whatever. Instilling.
That sense of love and playfulness and childlike wonder, remembering what that is, reconnecting with your roots, and then give that to the next generation in order for them to maintain that is something that is wildly valuable. You don't think you can do that without a time machine? You can remember everything. You remember your childhood. I remember a lot, but there's a lot I don't.
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Chapter 5: How do they describe their experiences in London and famous landmarks?
Oh, okay.
But, yeah, during the day. But, like, bro, at night, remember, there were, like... I remember the small amount of time that I was here. There were, like, cops on every single corner because, like... It was probably – Astoria had no power for a week. Yeah. That was crazy. That shit was nuts. I was trying – I was taking, like, naps in the middle of the night. Naps.
But, like, my dad would have the car on so that we could sleep with the AC because it was hot as hell. Yeah. Oh, wow. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, it was so hot. That is crazy. I remember when I was sleeping in the middle of the night. Then the lights came on, and I was like, yeah. I mean, remember everyone thought it was another terrorist attack. Yeah. When was that? 2005, I want to say.
Oh, so not that far away. Yeah, I would have been scared. This is such a weird thing that maybe it doesn't add to the story at all. But I remember...
hearing like a loud noise outside which I don't know if that's like real or if I'm making that up now because it's been so far so long since this thing and hey Arnold was on the TV and it was Helga Pataki and she was like confessing her love for Arnold or something and the TV shut off and I was like What the fuck? Like, who turned the TV off and then everything was off?
Who interrupted my Hey Arnold? Who interrupted Hey Arnold? Great show. That was a pretty good show. Great show. Sick bedroom that kid had. Let me tell you, not many bedrooms I wanted to have that weren't mine. That was one of them, 100%. You loved your bedroom that much? I liked my bedroom, yeah. Which one? Because you've had three bedrooms. One, two, three. I actually had four in that house.
So which was your fave? I mean, my fave was when I was older, like in high school, and I had my own little space. The basement? Yeah. That was fun. Go down to the right, you mean? To the right, yeah. I used to have the one to the left before that. Right, by the back door. Good time. I used to sleep with a knife under my pillow. Yeah. Which people apparently think that's crazy. Yeah.
No one was breaking into your house. But we had a great time in Scotland. We went over to England. We had some proper points. Yeah, we did. Bangers and mash. I didn't have any bangers and mash. I had some sort of banger. What's a banger? A banger is a sausage in your mouth. There were just bangers in your mouth. People were banging your mouth. I see what you're doing here.
We saw Buckingham Palace. Buckingham Palace, which was super okay. Yeah, it was all right. I was expecting more, to be honest. Big Ben blew me out of the water. Big Ben was huge. Big... You listen. People talk about how big this thing is, and they're right, but no one talks about the girth of it. No one talks about how wide and thick Big Ben is.
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Chapter 6: What is their opinion on traditional British and Irish foods?
So people just make up the wildest stories, and there was one I saw where it was like – they picked a random celebrity and it may have been, it probably wasn't Tom Hardy, but like they'll do, they'll be like, Tom Hardy is saying that people are getting uglier and this is why. Wait, hold on.
And then it's like, if you tape your mouth, then your jaw, like they'll show people like a before and after where they're like this. And then the next photo, they like, they use tape. Like this is just after two weeks and they're like a hundred pounds lighter. do we know for sure if Tom Hardy is calling people ugly? No, we don't.
So how do you know that this marketing technique is not based off truth, Joey? Because the whole thing is a fallacy. That's why I'd be afraid to sleep. Tom Holland's out here and says, all you guys are fat pigs. Yeah. But like I spoke to Jimmy Kimmel last week and he said, everyone is disgusting as hell. Have you ever worn one of those nose straps?
When I was younger, like the sticky ones, but not the magnetic ones. Those are amazing. They just like – didn't you say you wore one and you could like smell the earth or something? Bro, I literally – I've never had the most – I've never had the most – I've never had that much oxygen. Why is it so hard for me to say? You still fucked it up. My neck feels weird. You've never had that much oxygen.
See, you got to pause.
I've never had that much.
Much oxygen. Much oxygen. Much oxygen. I've never had that much oxygen. There you go. There we go. In my nose. Like I had like, there's like a bendy thing in this thing and it sticks to your nose and it opens up your nostrils like this. Yeah, but like. I don't, like, you don't get that thing where, like, when your nostrils are too, like, unobstructed. And then it gets cold. It gets cold up there.
Yeah. And it's freezing. And I want warmth back in my nose. I agree. But it's not like that. Because it only opens up, like, this part. It doesn't open up, like, your sinuses. Yeah. So it, like, you know. But I like it a lot to have that. Well, yeah. So he's taping his mouth. He's waking up. Waking up at like 321 a.m. Listen, I don't know Ashton at all.
I think he's a former NFL player, if that's not mistaken. I have no idea. I know that there's a lot of discipline that comes with being a professional athlete. If you don't need to wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning, don't wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning. And if you do, shut up about it. 4 a.m. wake-ups?
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Chapter 7: What was the Guinness factory tour like in Dublin?
But he also has, like, a bodyguard that he has with him. Goddamn. Bro, if I— This guy is yoked with a capital WOAH. Whoa, dude. We just found out Frankie's type. No, I mean, dude, look at this guy. I mean, clearly whatever he is doing is working. There is a level of discipline that comes with that morning routine. Like he's also probably eating only like.
kale you know what i mean like he uh i just don't get the whole like oh and the banana thing at 8 43 in the morning rub his face with it he rubs his face with the banana peel which i don't know why the science behind that oh no is it is this being marketed as like an alpha male thing have the alpha males taken this again no i don't think so
I think it's just this dude doing his morning routine, and it's just like that. It's like ASMR, too. Is there science behind the rubbing of the banana peel? None that I'm aware of. I didn't look into it. I don't know. Because, honestly, the cold water in the face thing, that's just an ice plunge. That's just an ice bath, but just for your face to tighten up your skin. Right.
See, I didn't even know that. Oh, yeah, well, that's what the cold water does. Hot water... Uh-oh, here we go. So, apparently, rubbing banana peels on face, it creates glowing skin, reduces wrinkles, acts as a moisturizer, hydrates the skin, helps in collagen production, treats acne, treats sun damage, and reduces under-eye dark circles. Also, by the way, what website is this from?
Yeah, this is just a photo we're seeing.
Yeah.
I'm good on rubbing a banana on my face. I mean, if it were to, like... Help? It is said to tighten sagging skin, brighten complexion, and reduce wrinkles.
I mean, it's not impossible.
I don't think it's impossible. I don't think that rubbing a banana on your face does nothing. I just wouldn't want to smell like a banana all day. I mean, I imagine because doesn't he do this and then he goes and works out and then showers and stuff and has a day? Oh, yeah, maybe. So it's not like he's just like, before I leave, rubbing a banana peel on his face. Yeah. Here's my thing.
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Chapter 8: How is pub culture in Ireland and the UK different from America?
My reasoning is because I don't feel pressure.
And I don't want to. That I'm understanding. But when you started being like, well, there's pressure on women. And I'm like, you're a man. You saw how high I got up there? That was actually impressive, honestly. You sound like Elmo. I'm just, here's the thing. What if we get to 50,000 patrons? Will you get lip injections? No way. What about a BBL? A BBL? Will you get a BBL? Absolutely not.
Also, I heard that's a dangerous procedure. People have died. Really? Yeah. All right. What about this? You know, people get Botox in their pits so they don't sweat. Would you do that? No, because I don't really sweat much.
Me neither. I'm not a big sweat man.
I think if I had a big issue, I would do it. Yeah, I mean, I know people, well, you don't sweat much? No, no, my pits. My pits don't sweat. Oh, yeah, your head sweats like crazy. Can you get Botox on your head to stop... See? I don't know. I would be afraid to, like, not have a moving head. You know? I knew a boy that got Botox and, like, he literally was just like, hey... Just like that.
Hey, if you found out, like if there was like legit signs to come out, there's like, yo, by the way, this banana peel thing is legit. You're going to start. Yeah. Why not? I eat bananas pretty regularly. So you just eat the banana and then just, just kind of bing, bing, bing. But I do like moisturizing. I don't like the feel that bananas leave on your hand. It's like this.
You know what I'm talking about? It's like, it's, it's a little, it's a little like slippery, but like grainy too. It stops. I don't know that I've had... I don't know what you mean by that. You know what I'm talking about, where, like, your hand, like, kind of, like, starts to glide, but, like, it's like... You know what I'm saying? I do. Thank you, Ant. I got you. Unbelievable.
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