Chapter 1: What special guest joins the show?
Welcome back to the baby. Welcome back to The Basement Yard. Today, me and Frank are on the same side because we have a special guest, the smartest person who's ever been on this show by 100 million miles. Definitely. Dr. Mike is with us. I don't know if this is a diss or a compliment. No, no, no, no, no. How is that?
To be fair, in our current setup, the only other people we've had on here are Rhett and Link, and they're very smart. I forgot about them. They're very smart. But not as medically smart as you. And part of them is really tall. Bro, what is with, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm going to say this. If you're watching someone on YouTube, chances are they're over six and a half feet tall.
I don't know what the fuck. This guy walked in and I'm expecting Dr. Mike to come in and he's like five, ten, like a doctor. I've always had short doctors. Well, because a lot of them have a God complex. And that's crazy. I mean, it's true. I mean, surgeons. That's right. I would probably throw surgeons. That's what I was referencing as well. Do you find that a lot of doctors are shorter than you?
I think it's a mixed bag. You're 6'2"? Yeah, 6'3". Is that me too? Yeah. No, you're not. This guy's like 5'4". Well, if I'm wearing my Vomero Premium Pluses or whatever they're called, then I'm easily 6'5". What is that? Are those doctor shoes? No, those are like the new Nikes that have the amount of padding that basically you don't need to hide your inserts. Nice, nice, nice. Gotcha.
So you're going like Tom Cruise level inserts on these shirts. I'm proud of those inserts. Good for you, my friend. Damn, maybe I should wear an insert. You definitely should. All right, you're getting crazy now. Or get the surgery that can make legs longer. Don't do that. Is that a thing? I heard it's very painful, though. It's called the leg.
Take a hammer and they... Hey, we're going to let him. I've also never performed this procedure, nor have I consulted on that procedure, but yes, that's the... They break it, but they do like... They create a little space in order for the bone to heal, and they progressively do that over and over again. I saw this in a movie recently. Your bones will just heal towards each other? Yeah.
The space is really little and over time. Oh, and they have these screws that they tighten and they keep growing. The materialists. Is that, was that the one Dakota Johnson?
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Chapter 2: What are the height perceptions of doctors?
You've seen it too, right? Pedro Pascal is like five, two. And then all of a sudden she finds out, Oh, he got the tall guy surgery and he's like six, one Benjamin button. He, he reversed Benjamin button. Okay. Cause how, how long is that process? It's long. It's tough. And imagine you're not walking comfortably. So there's a lot of rehab required for that. It sounds like years.
And it sounds expensive. It's kind of classified as cosmetic as us medical professionals would understand. Well, it is in some cases, but there are cases medically where someone has, let's say, bowed legs and they need to straighten them. So in those situations, you're using the procedure for function purposes. We all knew that person in high school that walked like they rode a horse.
I know, but they always had a great jump shot for some reason. Unbelievable jump shot, but they shot it like this. Yeah. Well, you know, now everyone who is one of those three-point shooting champions that set all the Guinness World Records, they don't have good form. Oh, you're talking basketball, brother. You're above my head. Go back to the medical stuff. Yeah.
You haven't seen I'm not a good basketball is not my thing. I'm a baseball football But you've seen what I'm talking about This very awkward shooting form that if you play in a pickup game, you'll get blocked nine out of ten time, right? But when you're just shooting by yourself, you can make time just hit him doc you ball up. Yeah ball up Yeah I'll grab boards. He's not great.
I played in Madison Square Garden before. So have we. Yeah? Where did you guys play?
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Chapter 3: How does the discussion shift to leg lengthening surgery?
The main stage, bitch! No, no, no. Like, for what? What the hell are you wearing? I was a plague doctor and I was gonna wear this but I couldn't breathe and you guys didn't send it to me fast enough so I'm just gonna hold it. Just show them. It doesn't matter. Shove it down your throat. I played on the court. What the hell? Sorry about that. Well, thanks for joining us today.
We really appreciate it. We're excited. Now that we know that you also play basketball, we're going to challenge you to a game of basketball one day. Hype. But we, in preparation for this show, we talk a lot professionally and somewhat argue stupidly. And we often pretend that we know the answers to a lot of what we're talking about when chances are one of us doesn't.
One of us is on a hot streak lately. He had one episode last week that he said like two things that were correct. In a row. What were the things? Well, one of them. You don't put this one to bed. You don't need to be a doctor to figure this one out. But he can't get an expression correctly. And he said, what was it? Which part? You know it. So here's the expression. Tell me if you've heard it.
Okay. The pen is mightier than the sword, but the tongue can lick them both. That's incorrect, bro. That's an insane thing. My only question here. What phase of your life were you hearing? And then what phase of your life were you repeating that statement? With the most confidence on this show. When have I repeated it? All faces. Every face.
As soon as I heard it, I said, wow, that's really good. He's a walking example of if you just say something definitively, people usually just get at it. Wow. You know what I mean? Well, hold on. Now you're painting me as some sort of psychopath here. What do you think the show is? I mean, you just did a video where you, well, not just did, but you talked to a bunch of like- Oh, surrounded.
Yeah, surrounded by like anti-vaxxers and stuff. Yes, yes, yes.
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Chapter 4: What are the challenges faced during medical procedures?
So you've probably dealt with people like Joey and I. We're like, we're going to say it. We're going to be confident about it. I'm not an anti-vaxxer either. Let me make that very clear. The generality of like we're going to say it, we're going to be confident about it, and we're not going to look up any truth behind it. Okay. Can you confirm that you've dealt with people like that?
I've dealt with people who were less interested in being immune to disease and more interested in being immune to logic and facts. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was honestly impressed with ā You're restrained. Dude. Watching that video. Dude, I would still. Why, you would fisticuff?
No, I would just be like, at a certain, because you were just so patient and nice with them that I'm like, at a certain point, because they are saying offensive things. Yeah. At one point, someone's like, no, because I actually read. And I'm like, you're saying offensive things. No, she goes, I actually read and study, which is wild. I mean.
Because I was like, are you discounting the decade plus of education? You thought I didn't read? So this is like a serious question that I have now. Oh. Oh, this one. Yeah. Like in your schooling. No, I do not lick swords. That's fair. Well, technically speaking, the tongue can lick both a pen and a sword. But like did you have to go through like ā
training on, like, how to deal with people, like, psychologically and stuff like that. Yeah, it's called medical school. No, no, no. I mean, first of all, why is everyone giving me so much credit for being patient? Are your doctors douchebags to you? Absolutely. Really? Kind of, yeah. Are they? I got into a fight at the hospital last year. I told you this. What? With a physical?
I couldn't get up. I was in the hospital for some stuff. Infections. That's things. That's the medical term. We need the plague doctor to come in and confirm. So a doctor came in to speak with me, and I was expressing my frustration with the facility, with my situation, and he cut me off. And he's like, listen, young man, consider yourself lucky that you're being treated.
And like, listen, I, I am very much so like when it comes to like customer service representatives and people dealing with people like that, I, I am very patient. But in that situation, like to sit there and just be like, you listen to like basically wagging his finger in my face. I was like, what the, so I got the God complex. I got, it was right. I got fucking heated.
And Becca, like my wife had to like put her hands on me. She's like, you need to chill. Wow. Okay. Frankie left a bad Yelp review after that. Oh, yeah. I'm not big on Yelp. I've never Yelped. I've never Yelped. But so we, in preparation for today's episode, wrote down a couple questions that we need help with. Okay. Personally. Well, no, no, no. Not personally. No, no, no.
Maybe one or two of them might be personal for me. I cannot confirm that all of them will be personal for any of us. Maybe Ant. I see at least seven on there that are specifically personal to you. So when we get to them. I don't like that. So I guess we can kind of start with the top one you brought up in one of your videos. Someone in this room has incredibly wet ears. That's not how you say it.
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Chapter 5: What are the key steps to perform CPR correctly?
He has a character. Cardiac arrest. We got a lot of daddy issues on this side of the set. I don't know.
Well, I've seen videos on social media someone's like a little bit out of it and they're giving them CPR I'm like no no if they're out of it That means their heart is still beating because they're moving right so you don't want to squeeze their chest when their heart's beating What um, I also like I don't know if this is true But I like saw something online that now with like CPR like the breathing into the mouth is not a thing.
I Yeah, so people used to not do CPR for people because they were worried, oh, I have to do mouth-to-mouth. So we said, forget mouth-to-mouth. The most important thing is pushing hard, fast, and center of the chest after you call for help.
And that means either you're calling for help or you're saying, you pink, neon pink scrubs, you call 911, and you have to say yes, and then I start the chest compressions. That's right. We do the rescue breaths in situations when a person has been down for a long period of time. So if someone drowned, for example, and you find them, odds are they don't have residual oxygen in their blood.
So you need to give them rescue breaths and then start pushing hard and fast. But if someone just collapsed, they still have oxygen in their blood vessels.
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Chapter 6: How can you tell if someone needs rescue breaths during CPR?
So you can start pushing right now. One more time. Do that one more time. And this isn't even good form. Sorry, this is good form. You got to get on top. You want to lock down elbows. This isn't a tricep extension. So lock them out. Lock them out because you want to use your body weight over them. So lock them out like this. That's hyper. Wait, can you do that again? That's a hyper extended.
Yeah, what's going on?
Chapter 7: What are common misconceptions about CPR techniques?
I have many skills you don't know about. Can you put your thumb to your forehead? No, my wife can, but I get pretty close. Oh, be careful. All right, good. You're good. I get pretty close. We're just checking you for... Why? Is that a bad thing? Well, it could predispose you to having a condition. And with him... You know I got it. I don't need this. I'm a hypochondriac.
It's going to be a long drive home for me. Be like, oh, Dr. Mike said I have a condition, babe.
Chapter 8: How does sleep quality impact overall health?
He referenced my sepsis a bunch of times. What else we got? Boy, how many times have you had sepsis? Just to clear that up. I've never been septic. Let me make that abundantly clear. I have been treated for I'm getting pretty close. Got it. Okay. We'll talk off air. You ever been septic? What are the requirements? Basically, there's SIRS criteria plus an infection source. Oh, so that's, yeah.
You many times, then. Who the fuck are you? We can pop up the SIRS criteria. Speaking of all Frankie's trips to the sepsis hospital here, Frankie, you're mentioning that hospitals have the same smell, you're saying? Yes. All hospitals I've been to smell exactly the same. And all casinos I've been to smell exactly the same. Are you sure it's just you're not smelling yourself?
Because it seems like everywhere you go, it smells the same. Let me finish the question. That's a great... That's probably it. I need to ask the question. You're like, every time I go here, it smells the same. Well, no. My question was going to be seriously, do hospitals like...
My casinos put like stuff through the vents in order to like, so it's like, Oh, how like the fancy hotels have their own unique sense. Yes. Do hospitals have like a specific air filtration system that like makes it so it smells a certain way? We do have HEPA filters for infection control purposes. We keep it low humidity specifically because it decreases infection. We don't pump scent, though.
That's not a thing. Would you say essentially smelling super clean air? Yeah, clean, yeah. Or I guess it's like a little rubbery. There's a little rub. Yeah, it smells like... There's a lot of equipment. It smells like the gloves. Yeah. What's with the paper? Why the paper? Paper's horrible. On the table, the sheet. Disposable.
But, like, can we... It's just because... Do you want to sit in someone else's butt goop? No, no, no. Goop. Goop. Goop. What goes on in your doctor's office? You probably said... I'm not saying I have no goop. Whatever. Let's make that abundantly clear. Human... I agree. Excretions. But like I'm saying, let's upgrade this paper. To what? To a comfort more. UV light. What about it?
Are you just saying words now? Yes. Whole milk. A whole milk bath that you can sit in that's been homogenized. the um never mind i know the answer to that question i was gonna say there's like a little box so basically what i'm smelling is what i'm smelling is just a combination of like cleaner air yeah probably you're smelling a lot of disinfectants as well we're cleaning things a lot yeah
oh that's definitely do they have have any hospitals or doctor's offices come up with like disinfecting like grenades so like they can just close the door to it off like a room and they throw something in and then it goes off and and like frank yes just i mean yes this might be a good business idea all right if you're looking to invest clean grenades But, like, made your apartment.
Definitely before this, saw a TikTok video where someone did that transition where they throw the grenade and the room got clean. He goes, I want that grenade. Well, like, if I were to take two Lysol cans and just stab them with knives and then throw them into a room. You'd go to jail. I'm not saying, like, where there are patients.
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