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Chapter 1: What humorous banter opens this episode?
welcome back to the basement welcome back to the basement yard glad to be glad to be here joe thanks for introduce you yet fuck we got frank alvarez on the show today well back up let me do it like welcome back to the basement we got frank alvarez on the show today hey glad to be here really appreciate it And we got Ant Prisco over there, too, in his nicest shirt.
Nice.
That is a really nice shirt. I actually do like that shirt.
That is a nice shirt.
What kind of material is that? I think it's knit. Take it off. If I come over there and I rub on it, am I going to get high? Rub on it, it's a weird way to say it. That's like a humping thing. I'm not going to hump you. This? I think you might enjoy yourself a little. Can I see? See what? The shirt.
I'm not getting up.
How are you doing today, Frank? I'm doing well. I really appreciate you inviting me here. Excited for what we got to unfold today. And boy, let's get right into it. Frank, it says you're working on a new project. I am, I am, I am, I am, I am. Yeah, so according... We fucked this up.
yeah um so do you remember last week and i said on the podcast that like greg said don't fuck it up it says don't fuck this up in bold and underlined at the top of this and this is these are the tour dates guess what we did fucked it up uh we weren't supposed to put it we weren't supposed to say it then you're supposed to say it today so we're doing it again joey walked in today and well was this why you said you were going to be a little late yeah
because i was on the phone and you were greg called me and he goes why are the tour dates out and i said what it's like what do you mean they're out yeah yeah i wasn't even thinking i don't even know how this happened to be honest with you but i mean listen he walked joey walked in and he goes that's on me guys yeah and and and he's like i'm like what what happened oh yeah and aunt didn't tell me because you're gatekeeping information for me i don't know what wants to be said if i'm told something
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Chapter 2: What project is Frank Alvarez currently working on?
Forget about hats. I want overall pieces of clothing. Like, uh, four. No, you don't. A lot, a lot. Five? I've seen way more than that. A lot. A lot of hats.
Chapter 3: How did the hosts mishandle the announcement of tour dates?
Six. Pieces of clothing? Six, six. Overall. You just went from two to six. I said four. Six. Seven. Maybe seven. Oh, my God. Just to be safe, in case you're forgetting, can we make it an even eight? Sure, why not? Just in case. What color is your toothbrush? White and navy blue. What about you? Red and white. Okay. I'm realizing now that I had no reason to ask that.
I got mad curious for some reason. It just like lit up in my head. And then I like asked you and I was like, Ooh, I got nothing. And then I went there. You're hoping that in our responses, there was something to jump off. I was just, well, what color is yours? Let's finish it. It's black. What an incredible, groundbreaking contribution to this show.
First of all, that was a racist look on your face. It's a black toothbrush. Big deal. Is that not weird? No. If anything, you thinking it's weird is very weird and racist. Why is it? Yeah, you're racist. What color are the bristles? White. They can coexist, Ant. I know how much you hate that. Is that not weird to have a black toothbrush? They're working together to get the job done.
That's a very normal thing. Why? Oh, do you think because it's like white toothpaste and it looks like shit? I've never seen a black toothbrush. It's like a... Yeah, a zippy. Oh, you got... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you got the manual going? Do you have a buzz? I got an electric toothbrush. I got a quip. I use that. Okay. And you got old school going? I got old school.
I transitioned to I'm going to do the one that you bite down completely and it goes right here. Give me a fucking break. Come on, brother. Just get fucking new teeth at that point if you need to do that. Get dentures. Maybe. The idea of having dentures is not terrible. Yes, it is terrible, dude.
But if you like... Bro, look at... Yo, take all my teeth out when you circumcise me and I'll never know any... What? What? What I'm saying is like... Hold on. Hold on. No, you hold on.
When you're a baby and you get circumcised, you're like, oh, I don't even know, but I'm circumcised. But if I could have the option of like, yo, just take all my teeth and let me get new dentures every two years, like a new lease on a car, and you got perfect teeth. Babies aren't born with teeth. I know. That's the problem.
Technically, they are. All right. Technically, they are. Technically, they are. Ew, do teeth grow in your face? Yeah, dude. Have you ever seen the x-ray of someone with no teeth? Pull it up. It's going to make Joey squirm.
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Chapter 4: What funny anecdotes do the hosts share about clothing and style?
It's so gross. An x-ray?
Not an x-ray.
It's like a picture of a skull, and it shows you what it looks like. Don't look at the TV. Look at me. I was going to ask you a question, but now I don't remember. We're talking about teethless skeletons right now. Oh, dude, the idea. I don't think you realize how much of your face is structured around the fact that you have teeth. If you lose that, then you look like just a toothless loser.
No, but I'll have teeth. What the fucking ass is that?
Baby skulls have so many teeth. Milk teeth and permanent teeth.
That's what a baby's face is? If that's real. Also, absolutely heartbreaking that they have a baby skull. I mean, I'm assuming. No, it's like a model. Oh, okay. I've seen, it's like this, because you lose the teeth and then they grow. Like, there's a lot of teeth. Ew, dude. This thing's looking like a fucking predator.
I think I saw something that like Japan has just like tried out an experimental drug where they can just like regrow teeth now. Sick. Just like anywhere you want? Like I get a tooth in my elbow? No, Joey. Ew.
I don't know.
There are people that were like in the womb if they were a twin and they resorbed their twin, they'll find like a mass sometimes on people that has like hair and teeth in it and stuff like that. Hell yeah. No. But, yes, so our mistake, we are a unit here. We, as a unit, accept criticism and when we're wrong. No, we will. I will ride with him. I will die with him. Bad boys for life.
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Chapter 5: What are the hosts' opinions on different types of food and condiments?
Well, we're seasoned. How would you want to be seasoned? Give me your three seasonings you want on you.
I'm doing a thing here, Frank.
Oh, sorry. Okay, forgive me for asking a podcast question.
We're doing a chimichurri, by the way.
Oh, but that's a collection of seasonings. Summer. It's a sauce. Summer? That's a... You're going to... Don't point at him. I'm not allowing you to laugh at him like that. I'm not even... Do you want me to defend you? No. What did I do? Nothing. Exactly. That's the point. He just victimized you on your own show. Yeah. Remember, you could fire him.
I could fire him, or we could force him to buy tickets on Wednesday, June 17th at 12 p.m.
Eastern. Ant said he's going to buy... At TheBasementYard.com. Ant said he's going to buy and give away a whole show of tickets. Imagine what does someone get if they go to every single show? What does someone get?
Yeah, let's say someone does it uh restraining order thing. No
um we actually met some people after shows and they had come to a lot i think one said seven whoa i was like whoa that's a lot of shows the one the one person that i specifically remember was she came to the very first show and we spoke to her and she's like i'm from alabama and she came to another show and she was like oh i i came to the new the the montclair show with my husband and i'm back here but we've since gotten divorced like
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Chapter 6: How do the hosts feel about the new mosquito project by Google?
What website do they go to? TheBasementHero.com. I said it first. You said it in tandem. Yes. So Ant said he's going to give away a bunch of tickets. Also, what does a person get? What are the parameters on what they get if they go to every single show?
which don't guys please we're obviously joking around because yeah don't do that what i was setting up was technically i'll be going to every single show so i would get whatever that you would say would be for them a knuckle sandwich oh put it in my knuckle mouth
Well, I don't know how to even interpret that, to be honest with you.
I meant sandwich. In my knuckle mouth. I'm not like sucking on fingers. Liar. Like to call my mouth my knuckle mouth. What? I just want to say that. You're not sucking on fingers? Not really. I mean, you do suck on your fingers. I've seen you eat a bag of chips. I don't think that counts unless it's the whole finger. If you get a little like a...
So then you suck fingers because I know you do this dip. Why do I do that? You'll taste something.
It was a pure guess. I don't do that. I don't suck on my fingers.
Honestly, I was taking a shot in the dark there. Yeah. You go down a few knuckles. Whoa. A few knuckles. Is this a knuckle? Oh. I don't know what that is. I don't know. I thought it would be a joint. That's boring. It's a first knuckle.
Yeah.
Mini knuckle. So you think I'm going... Two at least. I mean, I can. But I'm not. I swear. I mean, there was a very viral video of you shoving your whole hand in your mouth and not gagging. I was very surprised at the, you know. That was like eight knuckles. Yeah, you were down there. I think I was two. Bro, you were in your sarcophagus. Sarcophagus? You were in your esophagus, yeah.
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Chapter 7: What closing remarks do the hosts make about their experiences and gratitude?
It's so lowbrow because they would just find they'd be like oddities and it'd be like a woman who knows math and be like, grow up. Also, the ringleader. Who's this predator?
Yeah.
Chapter 8: What are the details of the upcoming tour dates?
What is this? What is your job even? I think it is like literally like they're just like this. the smoking like cigarette smoking like evil little fuck you know they got like twirly twirly mustaches like a staff brother you're not a mage you're not a man you'll never be a mage i'm not off the staff though to be honest with you you also would You would. No, I would not. But a cane.
Name one character in any form of magic or movies or TV that has a staff that's like, I don't like that. The old guy from Jurassic Park. You don't love that?
What is he?
He's a billionaire that opened a fucking park. Dude, he almost took the halls fucking out because of that. He didn't do that. That wasn't his fault, per se. But you started it. I mean, but it has the little fucking mosquito in the amber on the end of it. I know, that's cool. That's cool as shit. I have a cane. It has a duck head on the top.
What's it for?
it was gifted to me and and i had when i had like issues with walking as you know oh i had actually used it but it's cool and you're gonna tell me that if you got a duck head it's got a duck head on it what does that symbolize it was gifted to me i don't think there was i think it was the only one they were able to find the the only cane they could find had a duck head on it mallard yeah nice
You would love a cane and you'd love a staff, dude. Not at this age. You absolutely would. Not at this age. Bro, look at every, like, Gandalf? Moses? He's a mage. Moses.
Moses. Oh, yeah, he did have one. He's, like, part in the sea and shit like that. You know when shepherds have that big ass, like... With the hook? What's the point of that? Is that to, like, yank sheep by the neck or something?
Or if they're, like, bombing on stage. You know what I'm saying? Like, things are just not going well for them. Sly Cooper? Sly Cooper's a good one. He doesn't know who that is. What the fuck is that? There's literally no chance. Is this more anime? Not everything is anime. With you guys, it is. Whoa. With him, guys, it is. With me, it's video games. That's how you know it is.
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