Chapter 1: What military operation did the U.S. conduct in Venezuela?
Late last night and early today, at my direction, the United States Armed Forces conducted an extraordinary military operation in the capital of Venezuela. All right, folks, today we are going to check with our woke friends over at TikTok to see how they're taking the news that Nicolas Maduro, the communist dictator of Venezuela, has been deposed.
This video is sponsored by our friends at Policy Genius. They don't tell you that the majority of Venezuelans actually love Maduro and stand with him. Venezuelans right now are literally going out to rally for Maduro. And not only that, 91% of Venezuelans hold an unfavorable view of the opposition leader who literally called for Netanyahu to invade their own country.
That is why you should listen to Venezuelan people themselves and actually read about them. Or maybe the reason that that poll said what it said is because there's no freedom of speech in Venezuela and it's a controlled communist dictatorship. Oh my God, it totally is. It is. 100%. Oh my God. Maybe it's that.
You know what I can see is that the last several elections have had to be rigged by Chavez and Maduro in order to ensure their victory. Bob said the United States would be running Venezuela. Woo, a colony. Woo, imperialism. Woo. For what? So a multinational corporation can get profit. My goodness, that's just a horror movie.
You open the closet and that's just... Can't catch me, I'm the gingerbread man. Holy shit.
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Chapter 2: How do Venezuelans feel about Nicolas Maduro?
She seems, I gotta say, just by the look of her, like a charter member of GloboHomo. GloboHomo is a portmanteau of globalist and the slur homo. It emerged around 2016 and is used to allege a vast global conspiracy designed to destroy traditional culture and values and replace them with a single, corporate, progressive, and de-sexed worldview that promotes an LGBTQ agenda.
And I was informed that GloboHomo was behind the Missouri ouster. So I have been misinformed by someone. To every Venezuelan cheering right now, you do not want to be controlled by the United States. They will drain you of all your resources and then leave you in a worse state than you are right now. We're also under a dictatorship. Oh, my God. And now we are in charge of your country. Shut up.
United States citizens don't even want to be in this country. I can't. I can't. Then get the f*** out. We don't want you here. We don't want you here. You leave. Get out. No one wants you here. You hate this country so much from your iPhone with your septum ring? We want a revolution from our own country. You're not going to revolution anything.
The only reason we've taken over your country is to steal all your oil and resources and leave you as impoverished as possible because we're an imperial empire. Okay, first of all, best empire ever. Second of all, we're the empire that generates, you know, oil revenue for the people of Venezuela. 1999, $4,000 GDP per capita before Chavez takes over. Today, 27 years later, $3,000 GDP per capita.
Why? Venezuela nationalized its oil industry and made it totally ineffectual. They literally sliced their oil output by three quarters. They took one of the most oil-rich places on planet Earth and turned it into a hole. And this lady is here lecturing about how America is going to drain Venezuela of its resources. this whiny horse's ass. Get her out of here. Ridiculous.
You're turning me into Mark Levin. Get her out of here.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of freedom of speech in Venezuela?
Okay, now it's time for a reaction from the socialist dictator of New York, Zoran Mamdani. I called the president and spoke with him directly to register my opposition to this act. Can you imagine Trump on the other deadline? He picks up, he's got this little pissant calling him like, I'm really Wow. So smart. You sound so smart. It's like Donald Trump gets off flying.
Okay, Zara, now that you've said international law, get out of here. Get out of here with this shit. Being opposed to a pursuit of regime change, to the violation of federal international law, and a desire to see that be consistent each and every day.
Chapter 4: How has U.S. intervention historically impacted Venezuela?
Hmm, well, you know, I need to hear about consistency on international law from this terrorism supporter. I'm sure Trump took his call. Yes, I'm sure he was deeply involved in all the decision-making, Zoran Mamdani. What a ridiculous figure he is, goodness gracious. The holidays, it's a great time to spend time with family, with your parents.
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Quote, it's not about drugs. If it was, Trump wouldn't have pardoned one of the largest narco traffickers in the world last month. Okay, so first of all, I will point out that that narco trafficker that he pardoned is no longer involved in narco trafficking. So I was against the pardon, but that guy's not actually currently narco trafficking. It's about oil and regime change.
Okay, Trump literally said both those things, so no great revelation there. And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn't. They're not pretending. Trump literally said it's about oil and regime change.
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Chapter 5: What is the concept of 'GloboHomo' and its implications?
That's the beautiful thing about Donald J. Trump. Ain't no brain-mouth filter. Whatever he's thinking goes right out the front of that face. And then Alexander Ocasio-Cortez says that this is to distract from Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.
Yes, I'm sure that the best he could do to distract from Jeffrey Epstein was a magnificent military operation in the middle of the night to extradite the Venezuelan dictator. Oh, like, lady, I'm just going to point out that I'm not sure there will ever be a president as popular again with Venezuelans as Donald J. Trump is at this very moment. Uh-oh, it's Michael Knowles.
Oh, no, sorry, that's Rachel Maddow. Same difference. Cool. In your heart of hearts, when you think about what the United States just did, I think there are very few Americans right now who have any idea why the United States did this. What do you mean? I mean, we know precisely why the United States did this.
We're just a couple old men in from Dallas, and well, it's like a hound to give you something you want. Here's the thing. It doesn't take a gigantic, complex political analysis here. Maduro, bad. Maduro yelled at the United States for literally a decade, and none of your Democratic presidents did anything about it. Hugo Chavez was doing this since 1999.
I'm not sure, like, what's, make me the strongest case against that does not rely on a hypothetical involving things that aren't going to happen, like hundreds of thousands of American troops on the ground in Venezuela. Give me the hypothetical, seriously. Hands off Venezuela! Hands off Venezuela! Hands off Venezuela! This is a beautiful woman. President Maduro!
Gotta read the translation off Google Translate. I need to look up on Google Translate what I'm about to say. Would you trade Trump for Maduro? Yeah. I mean, I think Trump, I think Maduro was democratically elected. Probably, yeah. Sure. Okay, cool. More than likely, yes, of course. If there's a Nicholas Maduro out here who's going to bring us to revolution, I will support that movement.
I would rather have a bus driver in charge than a billionaire, okay? Let's put it that way. Nicholas Maduro could come and be our president? Oh, any day. Any day. Look, all the check marks are there. He's not white. Okay, he's a minority. Okay. He looks a little too much like Saddam Hussein, though. That's a fair point. That last part is true. But, okay, so here's my deal.
Okay, I keep hearing about this heritage American stuff. Like, okay, you have ancestors who come from the United States. Therefore, you're more American than people who are fresh off the boat. Okay, well, in a certain sense... kind of, a little, maybe, kind of, for the moment.
But I will just tell you, if those people in this video, the ones who are saying they'll trade Trump for Maduro, I'll bet you that some of these people have ancestors going back multi-generations in the United States, and I would trade them in one heartbeat for people who don't want Nicolas Maduro to run America. Go away. We should deport you. Go away. Revoke your citizenship. Go away.
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Chapter 6: How does Ben Shapiro critique the narrative of U.S. imperialism?
I just think this is a great one. Here we go. Hola, amigos. Yo soy su nuevo presidente. El seƱor Donaldo J. Trumple, your ex-presidente, el seƱor Maduro, is no longer your presidente. He kept talking shit, you know, around, though, and he ultimately found out, though. Anyway, we're going to make Venezuela grande again. Mucho grande. El bigger... Y el better than ever before.
We're going to drill baby drill. We're going to have a big, beautiful fiesta. All the tacos you want. Mucho mariachi, sexy mamacitas, and delicious margaritas. Y let's make el Venezuela grande again. Arriba el Venezuela, amigos. Can I just say that if Donald Trump actually went to Venezuela and ran on that platform, he would win.
It is hard for me to believe he would lose on that platform in exactly that Spanglish. Meco, greater. Macante. The wokes who like Maduro, they can go to a place like Venezuela under Maduro. There are many of them on earth, and I hope that they do. I hope they go there and they enjoy for two reasons. One, maybe their lives will be better.
Chapter 7: What are the economic conditions in Venezuela under Maduro?
Maybe they will get what they have sought all along. And second, I won't have to watch their TikToks anymore because there's no TikTok in these places because the government doesn't allow them to do this stupid stuff because the First Amendment doesn't exist in those places. All righty. Well, if you have more suggestions for people who annoy me, leave them in the comments below.
Es tu amiga, es tu mujer, es tu esposa y es...