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The Bert Show

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Episodes

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This Researcher Claims Children Need Only One Skill To Be Successful In Life

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This researcher has studied over 200 kids and claims if you teach your child 'just one skill' in life, make it THIS. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pr...

Ebuzz: Trending Now — The Cosby Show’s Malcolm-Jamal Warner Has Passed In A Tragic Accident

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ebuzz: Trending Now — The Cosby Show’s Malcolm-Jamal Warner Has Passed In A Tragic Accident  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more ...

Should He Let Visitors Sleep In His Bed When They Visit His One Bedroom Apartment?

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What's the etiquette for when you have a guest visiting your one bedroom apartment? Messy Mikey's girlfriend thinks they should let them have the bed....

Should He Break Up With Her For Ignoring Him On HER Birthday?

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Should he break up with her for her ignoring him on HER birthday? What would you do? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

His Kid Cost Him HOW Much Money After Destroying This Priceless Item?

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's a parental rite of passage. Kristin’s kid took a marker to the furniture! Between baby jimmy and this 5 year old went on a $3K shopping spree! ...

Someone In Studio Just Started ADHD Medication And Doesn’t Know How To Feel!

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

He needs some advice! Bert just started ADHD meds and he's not liking how he's feeling. Have you gone through this? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/pri...

She Called Out A Stranger On A Romantic Night Out!

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Kristin had to call someone out during her romantic date night! Here's what she said to them! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more informat...

100 Days Of Good Goes ‘Round: We’re Flying A Listener To Hang Out With Us!

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On today's 100 Days of Good Goes 'Round we're surprising one of our favorite members of #BertShowFam with a trip to #ATL to see The Bert Show Live Sho...

Should This Nosy Neighbor Butt Into The Neighborhood Drama?

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

He sold her bike on Facebook marketplace without asking! She's pissed even though she never used it! This nosy neighbor wants to get involved and help...

Should She Go On A Date With Someone Who Kissed Her Coworker?!

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Should Abby cancel a date she has this week? She just found out something that makes her want to BAIL! He's already kissed someone who works on The Be...

His Friend Is NOT Happy After He Laughed At Him On His Podcast!

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

They say DON'T put your friends on your podcast! Moe learned that the hard way...was he wrong to laugh when his friend said THIS on the record? Hosted...

She’s Applying For ANOTHER Reality TV Show And Needs Your Help!

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

She's applying to ANOTHER reality TV show but she needs YOUR help with the application! How should Abby answer this question before she submits? Hoste...

She Saw A Drunk Woman Do WHAT To A Saxophone Player?

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What's the drunkest shenanigan you witnessed while sober? Producer Keity saw a LOT go down at the winery...including a woman who crossed a line with a...

Why Do They Call Their Coworker “Bloody Mary”?

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

He's rich, but could have been WAAAAYYY richer! Do you think John Krasinski regrets making this financial decision before The Office ever aired?+ It's...

Is A Stranger Plotting To Break In?!

22 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

How do you know if someone is casing a place? She's house-sitting and doesn't know how to feel after a stranger asked her a weird question at the door...

Full Show PT 3: Monday, July 21

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 2: Monday, July 21

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 1: Monday, July 21

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Someone In Studio Wants To Know What You Would Do If You Heard THIS In Church!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What would you do if you were sitting in church and heard THIS? Bert shares what HE chose to do! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more infor...

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Coldplay’s Chris Martin Comments On THAT Kiss Cam Moment!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Coldplay’s Chris Martin Comments On THAT Kiss Cam Moment!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Mamas Got Into Major Drama At The Family Baby Shower!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Wanna step out on your man? Life's not a video game, but turns out there ARE cheat codes! Here's what women are saying is the surefire way to get away...

Were We TOO Honest Rating A Listener’s Looks?

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We asked #BertShowFam to submit pics of themselves to get RATED! We're talking to the new entries today! Are we planning on being a little more honest...

Couple's Court Update: She's Crashing Out About What He Wants To Bring To Their New Place!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

They're about to move in together and he wants to bring one bizarre item from his old place! She's begging him not to...whose side are you on? Hosted ...

Someone Ruined His Big Birthday Surprise!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

#Atlanta is officially the best city in the WORLD! Don't believe us? Listen here!A friend RUINED Moe’s 40th birthday! He shares what went down! Host...

She Bought A House Just To Make Her DOG Happy?

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Bert Show Fam confessed to spoiling their dogs! Did we just find the bougiest dog EVER? She bought a house, not for herself, but for her DOG! Hosted o...

Someone In Studio Was Under A Lot Of Pressure After Their S.O. Asked Them To Do THIS!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

He was asked to dog-sit for the first time this weekend and he had way more anxiety about it than he thought he would! Moe shares what went down! Host...

100 Days Of Good Goes ‘Round: Can You Help Us Clear This Teacher’s Wishlist?

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Miss McGoey is in her 7th year teaching at Pinckneyville Middle School in Peachtree Corners! As an 8th grade math teacher she teaches 120 students, ma...

Someone In Studio Thought She Was Getting Abducted By ALIENS!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Was Abby abducted by aliens? She definitely thought so and the culprit is surprising!+ A guest on Abby’s podcast this week believes her ex's best fr...

He Witnessed A Wedding Disaster That Almost Got MESSY!

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It was a wedding mishap that almost ended in a very MESSY disaster. Producer Jackson witnessed it firsthand after walking down the aisle! Hosted on Ac...

Would You Want Your Friends To Go If You Died On The Way To A Beyoncé Concert?

21 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

If you die on the way to a Beyoncé concert, would you still want your friends to go? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Full Show PT 3: Friday, July 18

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 2: Friday, July 18

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 1: Friday, July 18

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Has Months Of Training Finally Paid Off For Someone In Studio?

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Is she finally swole? It's been three months of strength training. Has it paid off for Kristin? We're gonna find out after her full body scan! Hosted ...

Is The New Superman TOO Woke?

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In honor of Superman’s takeover at the box office, Producer Rebecca is in studio with even more of our favorite superhero movies! Can you recognize ...

Ebuzz: Trending Now — The Coldplay Couple Who Got Caught Cheating Have Made A Statement!

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ebuzz: Trending Now — The Coldplay Couple Who Got Caught Cheating Have Made A Statement! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information...

Can You Help Clear This First Year Teacher’s List?

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

She’s 23, about to start her second year teaching, and she’s trying to make a difference in the school she grew up in! She needs your help CL...

Someone In Studio Is Commissioning Our Karen In Training To Hit Up Her Hairdresser!

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Should Producer Keity complain after getting her hair braided turned into a 12 hour event? Luckily we've got a Karen In Training in studio who's ready...

We’re So Proud Of Abby For Getting This Amazing Atlanta Honor!

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Big congrats are in order for Abby! Not only is she being featured as Atlanta's most eligible in Jezebel Magazine, she's on the COVER! Hosted on Acast...

Couple's Court: She's Crashing Out About What He Wants To Bring To Their New Place!

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

They're about to move in together, which should be a great time--but she's forbidding him from moving in with this ONE thing he wants to bring from hi...

The Bert Show Rated Listeners On Their Appearance! Are They Out Of Their League?

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to RATE #BertShowFam! They (willingly) submitted photos of themselves, so we're going to take a look and tell them exactly what league we th...

Lose Kristin’s Money: Can You Guess What Her Husband Is Complaining About?

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for Lose Kristin's Money! Can you guess what her husband is complaining about in this text? Click here to play along! Hosted on Acast. See a...

Someone In Studio Asked A.I. To Diagnose Why She Always Feels Like THIS In Public!

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

This week in AI therapy…Abby asked #ChatGPT to help her uncover a pattern she's noticed! Why does she always have this kind of reaction to small tal...

Is The Bert Show Smart Enough To Qualify For This Networking App For Smart People?

18 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There's a networking app JUST for smart people! The Bert Show applied to see if anyone qualified! Can you guess who got in? Hosted on Acast. See acast...

Full Show PT 3: Thursday, July 17

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 2: Thursday, July 17

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 1: Thursday, July 17

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Why Did Her Husband Text Her THIS Mid-Show?

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Why did Kristin's husband text her THIS mid-show? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here’s What Women Really Hear When The Men In Their Lives Say THIS!

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Dudes, what you're saying to her and what she hears you say are two COMPLETELY different things. The Bert Show is ready to prove it to you here: Hoste...

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Pete Davidson Is Expecting His First Child!

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Pete Davidson Is Expecting His First Child!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Someone In Studio Had To Go To Therapy After Getting Heated On Air!

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Bert got so HEATED on an episode of #BonusBS that he had to talk about it in therapy! He talks what he learned and how his past informed his response ...

Does Her Depression Meal Plan Sounds Delicious To You?

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today we're dining off the "depression meal plan"! It's been on the menu for Abby the past few weeks...what are you ordering? Hosted on Acast. See aca...

Why Does She Call Her Coworker “Warm Body”?!

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time to get stupid with Kristin! Can you guess what these co-worker nicknames mean? Like…what do you think ‘splinter’ does round the office...

100 Days Of Good Goes ‘Round: We’re Helping Her Celebrate Her Dad After The Passing Of Her Mom

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

For today's 100 Days Of Good Goes 'Round, it's Father's Day! Navita's mom passed in June, so she never got to celebrate her dad. He's finally ready to...

Did He Cheat On His Wife When He Danced With A Strange Woman?

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Did Moe’s homeboy cheat on his wife or was he just toe-ing the line? He heard him tell his story on air and wants to clarify a few things!  Hos...

Ye Olde Gossip: A Diamond Necklace Led To Marie Antoinette’s Death?!

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We all know Marie Antoinette, but do you know the true tea on what led to her death? Let’s talk the diamond necklace and scheming priest that put th...

The Bert Show Wants To Rate Listeners Based On Their Appearance!

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

He's stubborn...which is why Bert is coming back in studio today with yet ANOTHER bad idea! He wants to RATE listeners based on their appearance! Will...

Follow Up Thursday: Did She Break Up With Her Bestie Who Was Making Her Broke?

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

She was about to break up with her friend because she was making her BROKE! Was she able to salvage her friendship with her bougie bestie? It's #Follo...

Should She Go Against Her Husband’s Birthday Wishes?

17 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Should she IGNORE her husband's birthday request? He doesn't want to celebrate but Cassie thinks he needs it more than ever! What say you?  Hoste...

Full Show PT 3: Wednesday, July 16

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 2: Wednesday, July 16

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 1: Wednesday, July 16

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Should They Have Been Cancelled For KIDNAPPING A Celebrity For A Radio Bit?

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Should they have been cancelled for KIDNAPPING a celebrity for a radio bit? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Nicki Minaj Is Feuding With SZA!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Nicki Minaj Is Feuding With SZA! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Should She Tell Her Daughter What Her Future Son-In-Law Tried To Do?!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The future son-in-law, propositioned his mother-in-law to be! Does she narc on him to her daughter or not? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for ...

PT 2: Someone In Studio Wants To Rent Their Coworker To Be A Karen!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Cassie commissioned the Karen in Training to write her the perfect letter to hit back at this Etsy vendor that dropped the ball big time. What did Abb...

We Learned Why Several Were Injured In A Stampede At A Marta Station!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Several people were injured in a stampede at a MARTA station after Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter concert. We JUST learned what started the stampede and i...

She Introduced Her Boyfriend To Her Best Friend And He Fell In LOVE With Her?!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What's the wildest thing an ex said to break up? We found a list and it is NOT for the faint of heart! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more...

100 Days Of Good Goes ‘Round: The Bert Show Is Spreading Joy Internationally!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

For day 45 of The Bert Show's Good Goes 'Round we're taking it INTERNATIONAL! P1 Lisa all the way from South Africa has a simple ask...expendable inco...

Second Date Update: Why Did He Ghost After Their Perfect Date?

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When she planned a date inspired by ‘Ghost’ she didn’t think he’d take it THIS far! Why hasn’t she heard back from him after their perfect d...

Why Do Celebrity Golf Games Keep Having CASUALTIES?!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today Moe is going to tell you why YOU should care about sports! Looking to go watch some celebs play golf? Wear a helmet! Let's talk the casualties! ...

Something Surprising Has Changed Someone In Studio’s Life And He’s Not Sure How To Feel!

16 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are you one of those people that goes to #Disney every chance you get? Well, there's a new app for you and it might find you LOVE! Kristin will explai...

Full Show PT 3: Tuesday, July 15

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

071525 - FULL SHOW - PART THREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Full Show PT 2: Tuesday, July 15

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 1: Tuesday, July 15

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Beyoncé’s Unreleased Music Was STOLEN In Atlanta!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Beyoncé’s Unreleased Music Was STOLEN In Atlanta! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Second Date Update: Why Did He Ghost After Their Perfect Date?

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

When she planned a date inspired by ‘Ghost’ she didn’t think he’d take it THIS far! Why hasn’t she heard back from him after their perfect d...

Are These Registry Items For A Bougie Adult Or BABY?

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Bougie or Baby? Abby’s cousin's baby shower is this weekend and her registry is fancy AF. Can you figure out if these bougie items are for adults or...

He Needs To Come Clean After Making A Mess In Someone In Studio’s Bathroom!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Messy Mikey did something in Kristin’s bathroom that he needs to come clean about...at least someone needs to clean SOMETHING up! He'll explain! Hos...

He Accidentally Drove To The Wrong State While Hungover!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Calling all GPS challenged! How far did YOU go before you realized you were heading in the wrong direction? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for...

She Got Ghosted Over Her Mom's URN!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Cassie needs to rent a KAREN! Luckily we've got one on staff. Can @theabbymurphy write her a message to a vendor on Etsy who ghosted her over somethin...

Has His Friend Been Lying To Him About Her Love Life?

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Has Moe’s friend been lying to him? He was there for her while she was venting about her love-life and now she has some explaining to do! Hosted on ...

Let’s Talk About That “Bad Idea” That Almost Got Our Producer Arrested

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Let’s talk about that “Bad Idea” that almost got our producer arrested! Here’s why we had to scrub it from the internet. Hosted on Acast. See ...

He Checks His Girlfriend’s Messages Because He’s Jealous?!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today Bert’s is ready to confess! He checks his girlfriend's DMs...is she gonna be happy hearing this?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy ...

They Mixed Business With Pleasure And Are Paying For It BIG Time!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

There's the old cliche, DON'T mix business and pleasure! One of Moe’s friends did both and it ain't good! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for...

100 Days Of Good Goes ‘Round: Kristin Wants To Share Her Sparkle With YOU!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today’s 100 Days Of Good Goes ‘Round is coming from inside the house! Kristin is ready to share her sparkle with YOU! She thought she was being hi...

Is It Bad Juju To Get Married At The Same Venue As Your Divorced Friend?

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Are you superstitious? Is it bad juju to have your wedding where someone you knew got married and then DIVORCED? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privac...

He Almost Burned His House To The Ground On The Fourth of July!

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

His friend almost burned the house down on Fourth of July and it WASN'T from fireworks! Producer Jackson will explain! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/...

Why Is The Bert Show Feeling So Low This Morning?

15 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Why is The Bert Show feeling so low this morning? Is it just one of those days? Let’s talk about it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more...

Full Show PT 3: Monday, July 14

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 2: Monday, July 14

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

Full Show PT 1: Monday, July 14

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Help us give you a show you love! Will you please fill out this survey so we can get your feedback? http://bit.ly/thebertshow-survey Hosted on Ac...

She Totally Botched Telling Her Son About The Passing Of Their Beloved Dog!

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Learn from Kristin’s mistake! Here's how she botched explaining that their beloved family dog was passing to her son. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com...

Texting Tutor Update: Is Her Secret Admirer A Serial Killer?

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

He approached her as a secret admirer and still landed a date with her! How did it go? Is she still ALIVE?! We’ve got the #TextingTutor update! Host...

She Got The Ick After Her First Date Ordered THIS!

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

She got the ick after her first date ordered THIS! How do you feel about a grown man ordering a glass of milk for dinner?+ This very common first date...

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Did Hailey Bieber Throw Shade At Scooter Braun?

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Ebuzz: Trending Now — Did Hailey Bieber Throw Shade At Scooter Braun?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Someone In Studio Needs Help Figuring Out What Battles To Choose In Parenting!

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

 Parents, help! Which battles do you choose? Kristin is having a hard time deciding what she puts her foot down for and what she let Jimmy dictat...

100 Days Of Good Goes ‘Round: Can You Help Us Get These Rescue Dogs Adopted?

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Today we wanna give a shout-out to Bogey's Buddies, a non-profit animal rescue in Bartow County that aims to keep animals with their owners and f...

Update: Did Her Bestie Scam Her With A Fake Labubu?!

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Parents, can we all agree? The car is a lawless space. Just like the airport. Where else do you hand your kid and iPad for 10 hours and call it a day?...

Is Falling In Love At The Airport A Canon Event?

14 Jul 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Is falling in love at the airport a canon event? We have a PSA for all women! Don’t miss your connecting flight for a connection that’ll go NOWHER...

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