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Chapter 1: What challenges did Chris Olsen face during the Golden Globes?
They swab me and they go, they like jam it up my nose. And I'm like, gorgeous. Wrong hole. Five minutes later, it's positive.
I just start bawling because I'm like, I was talking to everyone so close. I was just inside breathing Andrew's family. I'm a fucking super spreader. Oh my God. Everyone's going to die because of me.
Hi, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Comment Section Show starring me, your fave, everybody knows me, who cares about me? On to the guest. Today, we have another iconic All-Stars episode. He's already coughing into the mic. That's so gross. Thanks a lot. It's better than putting it in my mouth. He has come back, and he's better than ever, Mr. Chris Olsen! Chris Olsen!
Woo!
Hello, high studio audience. Thank you guys for coming. Welcome back, King.
Oh my god, we've just been, I feel like we had a podcast episode before this began. We did, we were keying for an hour before this. We were yapping. We were yapping. We have more than enough yap in the two of us. So much. Two yappy girls. So much, especially after the year we've been through. Girl. Two well-rested, recently on breaks, tweens. We have tweens. We're both 17.
We have the glow of people who have taken breaks on the internet. And you text me when I took my break, and you were saying that was the best thing you could have done for yourself. How have you been feeling since the break? A little better. Everyone still wants to call me ugly, but I feel pretty. It's okay. Me too. Yeah, right. Right. Which, as I was saying to you, when someone calls me ugly...
For some reason, our Lord and Savior decided to not let that affect me that much. When someone calls me ugly, I'm just kind of like, is that the worst? That's the most you got? You're telling me. Baby, I'm happy when I look in the mirror, and that's what matters. And that's what matters also to most of you who are calling me ugly, especially some of maybe the other gay men. Say it to my face.
You said twin. Or do you want to kiss?
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Chapter 2: How do breaks impact mental health and creativity?
I'm fucking ugly. Now what? What do you want to do about this? What should we do now, Kiss? Why is this so upsetting to you? Right. What does this say about you? Because it actually doesn't say much about me. You're the one who's so upset by my ugliness that you want to talk about it and you want to say that it makes you want to vomit. Like...
The people who just want to rip their eyes out every time they see one of my glam bots, you care about my glam bot more than I do. Girl, get into it. Also, thank you for making five million compilations of it. I end up on every single one. Maybe it's the worst, but my glam bots have gone viral. Can I tell you something?
When you were posting about your glam bot, because I didn't see any hey videos about you, about the glam bot specifically. I didn't see any. And then I thought, well, maybe he did a glam bot I didn't see because the one I saw I thought was awesome. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, body tea. Body is tea. Body tea served. Sorry. House down. Sorry. I love a giggle from Video Village.
I've had a good time. I said this in a comment response. I was like, I enjoy all of my glam bots. I've had fun making them.
They're fun.
Who cares? There was a moment during the shirtless one when a lot of people were really attacking me. But then I would always click on their profile and... See what they look like. I'd get mad too. Yeah. If I look like that and then I saw your glam bod, I'd get mad too. Yeah. Yes. But you know what I always do?
I might not do it this year because I think I have to stop giving so much meaning or power to these people. But anytime I see someone make a hate comment of me, I screenshot the comment. I screenshot their page. And then I screenshot anything else I can find.
Mm-hmm.
So if they ever make it big, I have it. I have it. Well, one of these people, one of the top comment on that, like the opening the jacket glam bot was like, someone needs to humble this like gremlin or something like that. Clicked on him.
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Chapter 3: What experiences shaped Chris's journey in the entertainment industry?
Right. And so am I. Yeah. But I like the way I'm mentally ill versus yours. That's a scary one. Mine's different. And good luck. And try to get into therapy. Right. But also, yeah. Also, I can say too, I've never done the glam bar, but obviously I've been to many carpets where I've seen it. Get in front of that camera, baby.
Oh, girl, they give me, I told you, they give me a vest and they tell me to start valeting cars when I get there.
Gotcha.
I will say. The line's too long, honestly. And honestly, I'm late every time. So that's why I miss the window. You're doing your glam. Right. You're getting the glam perfect. I will say for little TikTokers like us, for little tiny girls, we get one shot. That's true. They are moving you along. Cole and I know each other a little bit now because he has seen every time one of these pops up.
um so i think if i begged for it he would give me another shot but i just don't care enough no they're they're very one and done with us right they really are and i my point in saying that is the glamba is very intimidating and she moves fast as fuck and then they're like and then they're like all right go back to fucking serving trays thank you go pick up an hors d'oeuvre tray and get to work right
Like, as soon as you do your thing, they're like, okay, put this badge on so people know not to shoot you. Go ahead. Okay, bottom. Climb back down the stairs if your legs still work. I've never done one, though. I've never done the gun. I'm honestly kind of afraid. I think you would eat the fuck down. I hope so. Also, my first one, people were not.
When you do your first one, it's a win for the culture. As soon as you've done your seventh or eighth, you're like, get the fuck off our screen. You know what I mean? It's like, God, we've seen this bottom glam bot too many times. What's next? Position 28 or something? Put the legs in the air. I'll say, speaking of glam bot, we were both at the Golden Globes. We were. We were. We were.
And we had a time. We did. And you met Miss Ari. That's my friend. That's my girl. That's my sister. That's my blood. That's my girl. We were talking this morning. No, we weren't. But I met... That was crazy. Yeah. Which I said to her as well, which it was crazy that I was even able to like get out all of my words in a relatively normal fashion. I was speaking so quickly, but I was... I said...
basically all of the things I would have wanted to say in a two minute interaction with one kind of little stray, but that was okay. But I told her, I was like, you have been in my life for basically my whole life because she's been my girl. I was a victorious girl. I was a 13, the musical girl.
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Chapter 4: How does Chris Olsen handle online hate and criticism?
This is my girl. And then, I'm so glad I was introduced to her in the era that she's currently in the, like returning to her theater roots era, the wicked era. She seems so happy. She seems so healed. Yeah. I know a lot of the time people's like criticism of what's happening now is she's so different. She's changed. I hope we all change and are always changing.
Like if she were the same, y'all would say it's getting old. If she didn't change enough, that were actually, that's, I was about to repeat myself, but because she's changed, Also, all of that content, all of that music from that era is available for your consumption. For real. Go watch it. For real. If that's your favorite era, listen to the music.
It's also a very painful time in her life where she was creating art that people love, which is like beautiful for you. Right. Traumatizing for her. Right. Which is I always think I'm like, she's been through a lot. So. So much. Like, publicly. Publicly. And it's horrifying. And I know she's a cancer. Right. Oh, man, I can't imagine. She's feeling it. And I'm a Capricorn, like Cynthia. Yeah.
So we had that connection immediately. Yeah. I'm saying, like, God is a ā Oh, and she's thought about me ever since. And I guarantee she'll never forget me. No. Touch me with everyone. And she'll never forget. Well, I brought up how when I went to the honeymoon tour ā
like 10 years ago she did an opt-up while she was singing tattooed heart that night and i've never found a video of her doing the same opt-up and i was recording it and so i brought that up during our interaction and that one like really shocked her and she was like you're hardcore and i i walked away from that being like that was a little random of me but i do think it was memorable
I do think it, because that was weird and a little creepy, but more than anything, she'll never forget. At the end of the day, I, I, I, if I run into her again, I'll say tattooed heart opt up mama. I remember you freak. But I, I, I was like, I'm glad I said something kind of like that because I'm sure she's heard wicked was amazing. And I'm a theater kid all every day because she, because it is.
And like, and, and I think all theater kids are kind of living for that moment. But yeah, I, it was just a very full circle moment because I really have loved her forever. And I, That's how I felt about meeting Beyonce. When I met her, that's how I felt. Because she's been in my life. And I'm also 100 years older than you, Chris. I know you can't tell. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.
We're like one year apart, honey. No, we are not. Yes. How old are you? 27. Girl, I'm going to be 30. Okay, I'm three years older than you. Right, babe. Exactly. Whatever. But did you get words out for Beyonce?
No.
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Chapter 5: What insights does Chris share about sleep paralysis?
Thank you so much, Beyonce. Beyonce, that means a lot to me. Thank you. Thank you so much, Beyonce. Beyonce knows how to thank you so much. Beyonce. I was so overwhelmed because I really did not think I was going to meet her at all. We kept saying, there's no way. When I go in there, they're going to pull a lever and a trap door is going to open. And that would have been fine with me.
Or it's going to be an imposter. It's going to be like a really good impersonator. Or they're going to tell me to start serving again. I don't know. And I was cool with it either way. But she was in there just waiting for us. That's fucked up. I know. And I I talked a lot for Brittany because Brittany was really overwhelmed, too.
So I told Brittany, like, tell her you're from Houston, like you guys are from Houston. Thank God for thank God you had each other. I know. We think about it. We talk about it all the time. We're like, oh, thank God I could have never done it alone. Like and I was and it was so random and everything. But that's how I felt.
And I wish I got to tell her what I really wanted to tell her, which is when I was in college and Lemonade came out only on Tidal.
i um didn't have title money i was still listening to pandora with ads so i literally overdrafted my bank account so i could listen to lemonade and i was in the red for a while yeah and i was like it's only like 25 didn't matter i had no money but i did and i was like i would go in the red for you any day any fucking day any day if you told me to kill myself in front of you i would that's what i wanted to say i'm glad i didn't yes that's what i wanted to say but you got some good words out
Yeah. I just told her, I hope you're just incredible. I've looked up to you my entire life. I never thought we would ever cross paths. It's so hard because, like, just what do you say to her? One, that you feel like is maybe a little different than what other people have heard. But two, that, like, feels as meaningful for you as it could to have some meaning to say to her.
Because Beyonce is a crazy one. Beyonce is a crazy one. I, like...
half met her when we were at the um iHeart Awards with Megan yes and Megan and I were walking down the hallway who we love we both are sister wives of Megan Trainor yeah and I will defend her down me too I'll defend her harder than I'll defend myself me too someone can be like you're fucking ugly and I wish you were dead and I'll be like okay and then they'll be like and Megan too and I'll be like
You should send me an address immediately. Drop your location immediately. It gets me more angry when people say shit about her. I agree. Regardless of what it is. Because I'm like, y'all are fucking miserable. She makes little self-love bops. And you're mad. And you're like. Why are you so fucking mad? Like, oh, my God. Like, she literally, she is the cutest kids in the world. Yeah.
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Chapter 6: How does Chris's relationship with his family influence his career?
People have been tearing her up for years about the craziest of things. From her early 20s till now. Yeah. Bass came out when she was like 19. Yeah. And people continue to call her a one-hit wonder when it's like, okay, and then you're singing...
the five other songs from the album after that that were amazing right and then if you ever go to her house which none of you will ever be lucky to a lot of you won't be lucky to but we have and in one of her bathrooms the entire all of the walls are covered in every hit she's ever written for other fucking people yes exactly she's been working her ass off for years i say that all the time i'm like i'm a megan trainer stand till i die bitch i'm gonna fuck yeah you know what's funny is a lot of someone people love her like they love megan trainer because she's a vocalist
Like that bitch is talented. Perfect pitch. Right. Perfect pitch. That's what I'm saying. She's unbelievably talented and so nice. Yes. And I've watched her build a song before. One, she can write a song in like 30 minutes. I believe it. She has a notes app full of words or phrases that are a song idea. And she's like, oh, today is I'll just use me too as the example. Yeah.
Today is if I were you, I would want to be me too. And then she just can put it together and not only like write it, she's layering her vocals. It's kind of like similar to the way there's a viral video of Ariana putting together all these vocals for positions. Yeah.
And they're obviously two very different artists and make different art, but they're both very similar with that kind of vocal work ethic. They know exactly how to cut their vocals. And she has a computer in her recording studio to do it because she's like, I know how to cut my vocals faster than anyone else. but people don't care to look into that process all the time.
So they say, Oh, her songs sound the same and she's annoying. And it's like, okay, great. She is still living observation. I appreciate that. She's still living in the most gorgeous house in the world with also a beautiful family who, and a husband who will die for her. She has more than most, like most people will ever have in her life. And that's not based on money. She has in her life.
And it's like, it really is beautiful. Um, And I like that your working relationship turned into a real relationship. Truly. I love that. Well, that's because as we said, like from day one, when I pulled up to that house, her whole family was waiting on the front step for me.
hello i was like hello i know i was really overwhelmed with how sweet and inviting all of them were in a wonderful way everyone and when we did the music video right we were both in her music video made you look yes shall we tell the story of what happened that day yeah i would love to you go first Oh, my God. Okay. So Made You Look music video. Yes. Supposed to be one day. Right.
Supposed to be a one day shoot. Gorgeous house on the hills. Yeah. You, me, Remy Vader, Jojo Siwa. Who else was there? I think there was a few other people. Yes. Obviously, Megan, her whole family. Yeah. There's someone I'm forgetting. But it was like basically all her friends. Yeah. A lot of dancers. Like really, really fun concept. Yeah.
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Chapter 7: What does Chris say about vulnerability and strength in public life?
But at the end of the day, it's a music video shoot. I think that was probably my first music video shoot I had ever been on. I don't know about you. And so I was like, okay, crazy, but like, I'm excited. Same. You could tell Megan was a little stressed, but like I think on any shoot day, no matter how perfect.
Now that I've done a few music videos with her, even just being there, I'm like, yeah, music video is stressful to do because usually you only have one or two days. And this one was one day.
Yeah.
And it's around the time that there was no like COVID flare up, but we were still doing testing at the start of every shoot.
Yeah.
And so everyone gets tested. But because it's not a flare up and everyone was testing negative, it was like, do your test and then head inside. And we'll just handle the rest of it out here. I'm talking with the girls. We're all hanging out. We're like, it's a little hot in here, but it's gorgeous. We're talk, talk, talking, yap, yap, yapping, breathing on each other.
I get a call from one of Megan's managers.
you come outside really quick oh my god sure i would love to i would love to go outside go outside your test came back um inconclusive and then they ran it again and it's positive so it's probably a mistake we're just gonna test you again mind you it's my first music video shoot so i'm like oh my god well i want to be here but got it also i had seen megan i could tell she was stressed um
So I go back out. Then they swab me and they go, they like jam it up my nose. And I'm like, gorgeous. Wrong hole. And so they put it up, test it. Five minutes later, it's positive.
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Chapter 8: What are Chris's plans for the future and upcoming tour?
Can someone please move that? Right. And she's taking it down and she's moving. She's doing props. She's doing costumes. She's doing everything. And then she's doing direction, producing. And then at one point when she's moving, she goes, no, it's okay. I'll fucking do it. In this dress, I'll do it. If someone could help me, that'd be great.
Right, because she's in like the tight, the skin tight dress. The tightest dress alive. Yeah. And is...
the singer of the song and that made me laugh when she said no it's fine i'll fucking do it it's okay that made me laugh i laughed and that made other girls laugh but the crew which is mostly men they were like annoyed at her right but i'm like she's it's her video also we're all like everyone was fucking hot and yeah and it was she's like it's also so hot in here and everything and i text her after i left after i finished my scene yeah
I text her when I left. I said, hey, thank you so much. Because I brought my whole family. Because we were going straight to the airport after. Because I had to fly to Florida for work. So I was like, hey, I'm so sorry. It was for Playlist Live.
Let's chill out.
Hot. Yes. Yeah. And so, like... I text her and she, she texts me back this long thing and she's like, I'm so sorry that like it was so unorganized and it was so hot. I'm so sorry. And she was like, I've been crying about it. I just feel so embarrassed and I felt so bad. And I told her, honestly, she goes, I'm sorry you saw me that way.
And I told her, girl, I watched, I watched a celebrity who loves her shit and cares about people working and being in hot conditions. She's trying to get everybody out. And I said, I saw her yelling at other grown men. I thought that shit was funny. That you're like, that was my dream. I said, I've never had more respect for you in my life. I was horny in there. Like that was perfect.
I said, Hey, you got a fan in me. Yes. Yes. And at the end of the day, like we've seen videos of Beyonce directing her videos of so many. Oh yeah. Pop star women in power doing these videos. And like, Being assertive. And I can't stress this enough. She was never rude. No. Never. Because she never has been. No. Like maybe in her entire life. No.
I think of her the same way I think of you, which is I think you guys need to be ruder. I think you guys need to be meaner sometimes. And sometimes that's the truth. I tried being in a clapback era for a second and I ended up crying.
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