Chapter 1: What did Bryan spend his father's money on?
So you've loved, you've lost, or had some along the way. Life gives you lots of lacks, but you're in your own way. You take the good and the bad, but you don't ever win. That's because God hates you and you are full of sin. We love our T-C-B-T-V We love our T-C-B-T-V
So you've played by the rules You did it all right But you're still in the basement And alone all night You've paid your dues You've cleaned your room But your mom still makes lunch and you sleep till noon. So grab your pants and take a seat. It's time for TCB TV. Oh yeah, TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love RTCB TV! We love RTCB TV! Turn on TCB TV. Gotta have TCB TV. We love our TCB TV.
We love our TCB TV. We love our TCB TV. We love RTCB TV. On this episode of the Commercial Break.
Chapter 2: How did Bryan's father react to the phone bill?
And when my dad got that phone bill a month later, he fucking flipped his shit. And all charging privileges on the phone were taken off. I couldn't call collect. I couldn't call 411, which I think you at some point became a charge service like 50 cents to call 411, which was the early search engine for telephone numbers and other information. It was literally called information.
That's what you would call. So all of that is blocked. All of it. Okay. So I got in trouble with that. That cured me quickly of wanting to call anybody and spend any money. I should have called the sex hotline is what I should have done. Yeah, I know. I'm surprised you didn't do that one. I didn't.
I was too afraid to do that because I think I knew that my dad got the bill and that I would be busted. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah. Cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. So much to talk about today. We've got 3i, the comet that is a comet or question mark spaceship that is traveling around the solar system right now, hiding behind the sun. Doing things that no one else has seen a comet do. And now we're getting our first pictures, apparently.
I'd like to... I have seen them all over the place, but I have yet to verify it from a reputable source. So there's a lot of pictures. It looks strange to me. It's traveling at 137 miles per hour. per hour, 137 miles per second or something like that. It is big, it is weird, and it will make its appearance on 11-11 of this year for 88 minutes. It will be able to be seen and then it will be gone.
No one knows. No one knows. Not even... Even the people who study this stuff understand why it's acting the way it's acting. And it's interstellar, meaning it came from somewhere in our galaxy and now it's coming to our solar system and then it's gone. It's hiding behind the sun. Its tail is facing the sun instead of away from the sun, which is not how a comet usually acts.
Usually the tail is burning off in a different direction. I don't know. Spooky. Could this be it? I don't know. If it is, let us all go down peacefully with love and joy. And Nikes. And Nikes. That's right. And nice shoes. May we all go down with nice shoes. Baby, get the kids some new shoes. Even though we can't afford it, buy them. Because you know what? 11-11. That's our day, kids. 11-11, too.
I know. That's pretty crazy. Well, that's funny because last night I was, you know, because of the meteor showers going on right now. Yeah. And I really wanted to see it, but I'm in the city. Yeah, you're in the city. You can't see it. The light pollution. So I was outside looking for it last night. I was like, damn, there's too much light.
So I pulled out my app, my Night Sky app, which I love that app. Okay, I love it. I'm on it too. And so I'm pointing it around the sky, and I see the asteroids. They're shooting everywhere, you know, beep, beep, beep. Yeah, yeah. And then I see the comet thing. And I was like, what is that? Oh, you saw it? That's wild. It popped up on my The Night Sky app. But it's behind the sun right now.
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Chapter 3: What is the significance of the comet mentioned in the episode?
My grandfather was too. You know, he loved all, I mean, forever. It was cooking, all the cooking gadgets. Yeah. The choppers and the cookers and the boilers and the steamers and the what, anything and everything. And yeah, he ended up having a whole closet full of all of these gadgets. And I ended up taking some of them when we moved him out of his house. to go to the retirement home.
I ended up taking some of them. They were great ideas, a lot of them. They were just cheaply made for mass production, so they didn't last long. Agreed. But he had a whole graveyard full of them. Listen, millions of Americans must have, because in my research for TV psychics, I went down the 1-900 craze and the infomercial craze rabbit hole also, and it still remains a billion-dollar business.
It's got to. The thing is, is that those kitchen gadgets, when they work, can be really cool. They work. They save you time. They make food that you like, whatever it is. I mean, there was that lady who was selling all kind of kitchen gadgets and cookbooks. It was like an air boiler. An air boiler? What the fuck is an air boiler?
I made nacho cheddar cheese shit yourself potatoes with my air boiler. Look at this. Yes. And they show these beautiful pictures of his food, and then you get the machine, and you never know how to work it. Just a piece of junk. You know, the George Foreman grill made that guy so wealthy.
He was a heavyweight champion of the world, but Don King took all his money like Don King took everybody else's money. He was broke until the George Foreman grill took over the world. I think my grandfather had like four of those. Oh, yeah, we had a bunch of them. It's unbelievable. I took one to college, yeah. So... This is kind of interesting because we're talking about this.
Last night, my youngest, who's just now, you know, she's a toddler. And she's communicating pretty well. But she's also in that, like, terrible twos, terrible threes stage. So at any moment, she turns into a nightmare. At any moment. They can flip. Absolutely. You know, it doesn't matter. The carpet isn't green. I can't paint the walls. Why does my foot look like that?
All this stuff just sets her down a path and it can go on. This can last for half an hour, 45 minutes. You probably heard some of it in the background of the show. Right. When it happens, it's loud. And, you know, as a parent, you learn to deal with it. But it can be frustrating.
So last night, just trying to get to the finish line, just trying to get to 7 o'clock when it's time to put her to sleep, right? I'm just trying to get there. It's dinnertime. Everything's going well. And then all of the sudden, she sees apples. And she goes, fucking bananas, right? Bananas for the apples. She wanted them? I want manzana. Manzana, daddy. Manzana, manzana.
And I'm like, holy shit, kid. Okay, manzana. So I go and I'm washing it. Astrid's sitting there. I'm washing it. And I'm like, goddamn, I hate cutting apples, but I guess I'm going to go cut apples. And I go to take out a knife. It's better than candy. This is absolutely true. So thank God for small favors. I got to take out a knife. And she, no! Not the knife! Don't do the knife!
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Chapter 4: How is the White House being transformed under the current administration?
It's the Xfinity White House. Yes. And the White House has like digital billboards and they're all like flashing signs are like 7-Eleven and McDonald's. That's what's coming next. That's how you want to live. Cool, dude. But that is the sign of a failing democracy. You probably, Donald, Mr. Trump, you probably, Mr. Trump, I'll give you the respect you deserve.
Mr. Trump, you probably could have gone in front of a commission and said, these are the changes that I want. We need a ballroom. Yeah. I don't deny a ballroom. I mean, it sounds great, I guess. Cool. I mean, where were they throwing the parties before? I don't know. There's no party space? Right, exactly. I've seen a lot of episodes of West Wing and it seems like there's plenty of party space.
Dancing space. I know. Yeah, they're always at a party. Where do they host all these people that come? Like when a whole, you know. And he just had Andrea Botticelli or whatever. Yeah. Where did they put him? Yeah. In a three foot by three foot closet? Like what was going on there? I don't know. The White House seems pretty big. It doesn't seem like we need 90,000 square feet.
But, you know, I guess when you get all those Trump coin buyers inside of the door, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe that's what set this off. I didn't have enough room for all my Trump coins. Yeah, the people that are spending money on it. Yeah, listen. Listen to me. Go have a conversation with somebody and let's talk about it. And then if we need a ballroom, maybe we can do a ballroom.
But it shouldn't be a one-day process. Today I announce it, tomorrow it's gone, and I'm now building something. I don't know. He's been planning it for a little while. Wasn't he like up on the roof a while back looking down? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, what are you doing? He was pointing here and pointing there. Yeah. I don't know. He's in a game of Minecraft.
He's just building on his own. He's certainly breaking norms. That's for sure. Let's build it here. Build it there. Tear that down. Turn this down. Put another flag up here. Let's – I don't know. I don't understand. And by the way, this is the thing I am least concerned about right now. No, exactly. That's the thing. With what's going on with this administration. Yeah. I mean –
Let's get the Marines out of our cities first, and then we can go from there. But, you know, hot take. I don't think Donald Trump should not be allowed to do things at the White House, make renovations. See, everyone got all, you know, up in arms about him gold plating, gold painting, essentially, the inside of the Oval Office. I did not...
I do not like it, but I did not take as much of offense because it's his Oval Office, at least for the next four years. Yeah, he can decorate it however he wants. Okay. If you want to, you know, spray paint it. It's not my taste. Yeah, if you want to spray paint it gold, cool, dude. All right. It is not my taste. And when you see pictures, it just looks so ridiculous. I know. It really does.
I know. But okay, cool. All right. That's fine. But demolishing an entire wing of the building, it's just like a whole different thing. It really is. I mean, I don't think... I think even... Most people with common sense can agree with that. And just saying that it's cool to own the libs Yeah, all right.
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