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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Trump Enters War on Showers & Kristi Noem Takes "Photo Shoot" Literally | Bowen Yang

Fri, 11 Apr 2025

Description

Desi Lydic tackles Trump's cabinet of ass-kissers, his war on water pressure, and Kristi Noem's viral gun photo-op. Plus, Troy Iwata breaks down the White House’s top issue: temperamental showers. Michael Kosta dives into America's mad money problems in the face of Trump's tariffs: panicked shopping on the rise, price hikes on everyday toys and goods, and the uncertainty around those precious iPhones. “Saturday Night Live” star and “Las Culturistas” co-host Bowen Yang sits down to discuss his new rom-com, “The Wedding Banquet.” He shares the process behind his portrayals of hilarious “SNL” villains like JD Vance and George Santos, whether his pop-culture podcast has changed over the years, and why his new film feels like a “warm hug of a movie.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Audio
Transcription

Chapter 1: What is Trump's latest controversy involving his cabinet and border policies?

32.34 - 66.528 Desi Lydic

We've got so much to talk about tonight. Kristi Noem does border cosplay. The tariffs might make you rich. And Trump declares war on water. So let's get into another installment of Trump 2.0 coming for the White House. I'm sorry. I don't know why we keep playing that. We're not gonna show that clip anymore, okay? Let's get into the big story today. Donald Trump had a rough week.

0

66.688 - 85.798 Desi Lydic

His beautiful economy crashed because some dum-dum came and tariffed every country on the planet. He tried to save it yesterday, but the markets are still crashing today because, again, some absolute moron keeps ramping up a trade war against China. But in moments like this, there's one thing a serious leader does.

0

86.238 - 90.419 Desi Lydic

Gather up all your closest friends on your payroll and make them say nice things about you.

0

90.919 - 93.48 Donald Trump

Thank you for your leadership and thank you for everything you're doing.

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93.62 - 96.281 Donald Trump

Your leadership at the border, absolutely remarkable.

96.301 - 104.923 Donald Trump

I want to thank you as well for the shipbuilding. I want to thank you for standing up to the Chinese Communist Party. What you're doing now, I think, is a great service to our country, but ultimately to the world.

105.063 - 116.474 Donald Trump

You are overwhelmingly elected by the biggest majority. The US Americans want you to be president. Your vision is a turning point and an inflection point in American history.

119.817 - 121.438 Desi Lydic

Wow. What do you even say to that?

121.458 - 122.78 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

I'm going to come.

Chapter 2: Why is Kristi Noem's gun photo-op going viral?

144.058 - 156.331 News Reporter

Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is taking heat today for her latest viral video. Here we are with Michael and She's posing with two federal agents pointing a gun right at the agent's head.

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158.432 - 193.215 Desi Lydic

Wow, give it up for Friendly Fire Barbie, everyone. To be fair, this is Kristi Noem, and these agents were wearing dog tags. You know, I'm starting to wonder if maybe she actually shot her dog by accident while taking a family photo. Fido, Fido, get in here. Oh, never mind. Just people. So Trump's cabinet has been very active.

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193.415 - 214.685 Desi Lydic

At today's meeting, Tulsi Gabbard said she's going to stop election rigging. Pam Bondi said she'll seek a 20-year prison term for someone who vandalized a Tesla. And RFK Jr. announced that he'll get fluoride out of the water. So congrats in advance to your dentist on his new Bentley. But don't worry, they're leaving the big issues to the president himself.

0

215.126 - 219.738 News Reporter

The Biden administration launched what you've called a war on showers.

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223.188 - 245.243 Desi Lydic

Yes, the war on showers, a fight Steve Bannon has been on the front lines of his whole life. Now, most people probably didn't even realize we were in a war on showers because no one in the Biden administration ever accidentally added a reporter to the war on showers group chat. But in all seriousness, I know the war on showers very well, okay?

245.303 - 254.935 Desi Lydic

My uncle actually lost his leg from stepping on a bath bomb. It's... It's never been the same. But luckily, that war is now coming to an end.

255.475 - 267.599 News Reporter

Certain regulations that basically killed the water pressure of showers and other water appliances. With this executive order, we're effectively going to be reversing that set of regulations.

267.859 - 279.723 Donald Trump

In my case, I like to take a nice shower to take care of my beautiful hair. I have to stand under the shower for 15 minutes till it gets wet. It comes out drip, drip, drip. It's ridiculous.

283.587 - 305.442 Desi Lydic

It takes 15 minutes for your hair to get wet? Are you sure you're not standing in the pantry? The water pressure is terrible in here and we're out of Cheez-Its. But if you're as big of a Trump head as I am, you know that water pressure is not a new issue for him. He's been passionate about this crisis for a while.

Chapter 3: What is the 'war on showers' and how is Trump involved?

305.939 - 333.948 Donald Trump

Take a shower and water comes dripping out. It's dripping out, very quietly dripping out. Sinks, right? Showers. You take a shower, the water doesn't come out. It's the shower, it's the sink, and you know the third element in the bathroom. People have to flush their toilet 15 times. 10 times, right? 10 times. Turn on the shower. Ding. It goes drip, drip, drip, drip, drip.

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333.988 - 338.03 Donald Trump

Please, come out the water. Come on water, come out baby.

0

339.891 - 348.135 Desi Lydic

Come out baby, please. Come out, come out for daddy. Has he ever said anything more embarrassing?

0

348.155 - 349.216 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

I'm gonna come.

0

351.937 - 373.306 Desi Lydic

Stop doing that. Stop it. But guys, guys, we did it. We found the one issue Donald Trump has stayed consistent on. It is literally the dumbest issue ever, but we'll take it. But this is still a major announcement, which is why Fox News deployed its most sophisticated journalism technique, talking to old people at a diner.

373.886 - 379.13 Diner Man

Your thoughts about your chance of having water pressure strong again in the shower?

380.071 - 387.637 Donald Trump

That's just fine with me. I think you should. I think it ought to blow the skin off of it if you want it that way. We don't want to blow the skin off.

387.657 - 389.078 Diner Man

The epidermis is quite vital.

390.499 - 420.033 Desi Lydic

All right, hold on, kill me. Don't act like that guy is the weird one. You're the one walking around a diner going, tell me what you do in the shower. By the way, why are you talking to the men in here? You gotta talk to these ladies. That's a group of ladies excited about a stronger shower head, am I right? Yeah, they get it. They get it.

Chapter 4: How is water pressure affecting Americans and what changes are being made?

428.691 - 435.673 Diner Man

So tell me about what you picture now that water pressure will be great again. I have to sit there, stand there for two or three minutes for the water to even get warm.

0

437.993 - 457.738 Desi Lydic

Yeah, that's a different thing. This is not just an open forum for general shower complaints. The water's too cold and I don't like how it tastes. It should taste like Hawaiian punch. Is there anyone in this diner Brian Kilmeade can have a normal interaction with?

0

458.298 - 458.919 Diner Man

How old are you?

0

459.379 - 459.539 Desi Lydic

I'm 12.

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460.579 - 465.122 Diner Man

Do you even remember the way it used to be in 2008 before Barack Obama came in? No.

472.814 - 500.698 Desi Lydic

Kill me. Dude, he just told you he was 12. Do you even know what year it is? Excuse me, little boy. Where were you for the moon landing? A kid was born in 2012. He doesn't remember Obama as president. He's probably like, Obama, is that the guy who puts out the Spotify playlist? For more on these executive orders, let's go live to the White House with our very own Troy Iwata.

509.401 - 511.883 Desi Lydic

Is water pressure really what Trump's going to be focusing on?

512.163 - 532.856 Troy Iwata

Absolutely, Desi. And it's not just water pressure. A few minutes ago, he passed another executive order that says, a shower faucet can't do that thing where you turn it and it's cold, cold, cold, but then super hot. There has to be a warm middle. If that makes sense, you know what I mean. Best wishes, DJ T.

534.414 - 535.175 Desi Lydic

Best wishes?

Chapter 5: What impact do Trump's tariffs have on the U.S. economy and consumers?

832.971 - 838.153 Michael Kosta

Despite a 90-day pause for other countries, tariffs on China are still sky to the high.

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838.573 - 862.774 News Reporter

me oh jesus u.s tariffs on chinese goods soared to 104 on everything from clothing and shoes to toys it could soon be much harder to get your hands on tonka trucks care bears and even the new nintendo switch 2 that's out this summer with companies opting to pause shipments to the u.s swiss watches and x-ray tubes for cat scans could also be impacted with the tariff wars

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864.302 - 889.536 Michael Kosta

Oh, sorry, kids. These tariffs are affecting all your toys, Care Bears, Nintendo Switches, X-ray tubes for CAT scans. Now, you're never going to know what's going on inside of your Care Bear. Well, until... until puberty, am I right? Up top. But seriously, these are just the kind of sacrifices we need to make to get the economy back to where it was 10 days ago. So, with toys...

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890.569 - 916.378 Michael Kosta

With toys in the red, that means I'm buying up children's tears, okay? These things go for $10,000 an ounce on the streets of Silicon Valley. What do you think Mark Zuckerberg fills his cold plunge with, all right? That's how he keeps it so Zuckerberg. So Daddy T's tariffs are going to be affecting some shiz that we don't care about, like child's happiness or your estranged grandma's 401K.

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916.578 - 941.007 Michael Kosta

But who cares? Because you weren't getting that money anyway. Not since your ex-wife told her about what you did in Sarasota during a crypto conference. And even though you agreed to counseling and couples therapy and you deleted all the dating apps from your work phone and you swore you'd never be caught with $5,000 cash and a Costco-sized bottle of amyl nitrates ever again... It wasn't enough.

948.071 - 958.857 Michael Kosta

It would never be enough. So you, grandma. But that doesn't mean Papa Trump's tariffs aren't gonna impact things that we do care about, like iPhones. Hit me.

959.377 - 963.78 News Reporter

Apple's seeing a wave of panic buying for iPhones as higher prices loom due to Trump's tariffs.

963.86 - 967.702 Bowen Yang

An iPhone 16 Pro Max, already $1,200, could jump by another 350 bucks.

970.043 - 975.569 News Reporter

When it comes to Apple, they were finding as many 747s as they could to get iPhones out of China.

Chapter 6: How are tariffs affecting toys, electronics, and iPhones in the U.S. market?

981.415 - 990.344 Michael Kosta

That's right. That's right. iPhones are flying here. Business class. So Apple can make a little business cash. But refugees fleeing. Wicked, wicked.

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990.684 - 1014.645 Michael Kosta

war they're not gonna make it are they so that little shiny rectangle in your pocket is now worth a whole lot of money which is why i'm bullish on unsupervised coat checks okay these rooms are teeming with tariff free phones all it takes is a cater waiter uniform and you'll be harvesting apples like a family in autumn you're no longer allowed to see anymore hey

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1015.686 - 1045.934 Michael Kosta

Hey, Siri, how much green gravy did I just make off this iPhone tariff crisis? This phone has been reported stolen. Calling police. Oh, yeah. Oops, clumsy me. Right in a cup of coffee. Looks like I'm going to have to dry that out in what? A bowl of Sensei Costa's toilet rice. Yeah, baby. Now available in the third stall of the men's bathroom at the ETH Rutherford Whole Foods.

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1046.234 - 1055.4 Michael Kosta

Now, for those of you that have a working iPhone and your favorite app for watching trad wives make slow churn smoothies, it's about to get a new owner. Hit me.

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1055.902 - 1062.128 Donald Trump

The president announced he was extending by 75 days the deadline for TikTok's owner to find a non-Chinese buyer.

1062.228 - 1066.513 News Reporter

There are a number of interested parties who have said they would be willing to acquire the app.

1066.533 - 1070.937 Troy Iwata

The founder of the adult content site OnlyFans has also submitted a bid.

1072.479 - 1088.91 Michael Kosta

TikTok, it's money o'clock, and I'm betting on OnlyFans. Hell, I've been putting money into that site for years, but... I can't pull anything out because Mistress Victoria tells me I'm not allowed to. Well, at least I put two of her kids through Northwestern. Let's go, Wildcats.

1092.331 - 1116.094 Michael Kosta

But no matter who buy, buy, buys TikTok, do not worry because it will not be banned in the U.S., and that's a Costa guarantee. TikTok is simply too popular. The American people love it, and for some, it's the only workaround we have to communicate with our kids. Hey, Skyler. Hey, Brandon. Do you guys want to go see the Minecraft movie this weekend? Sound off in the comments. Your mom sucks.

Chapter 7: What is the status of TikTok's ownership and potential sale amid U.S. regulations?

1214.201 - 1216.162 Desi Lydic

I'm sure it was very fancy and very elite.

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1216.302 - 1236.809 Bowen Yang

It was very fancy, very elite, but I, like whatever. I have tunnel vision at those things. I don't look in the periphery. Because I'm like, I don't know who I'm going to like, you know, get into the crossfire with. But like you, I turned to you and it felt like there was a star shower behind you. I was like. Desi like is right there and God, I love her.

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1237.089 - 1239.31 Desi Lydic

Oh, you're so sweet. I travel with a ring light.

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1239.43 - 1239.63 Bowen Yang

Yes.

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1239.65 - 1247.833 Desi Lydic

And I have an intern. And you're backlit? Yes, I'm always backlit. That never works? I hire an intern to follow me around. It makes you think it's a moment.

1248.273 - 1248.533 Unidentified Speaker (Brief Interjection)

Yes.

1248.653 - 1264.919 Desi Lydic

No, I felt the same way. I was like, I need to corner you and make sure that you come on the show to see us and then I can snag you. Yes, and snagged. And we did it. We did it. I love all of the characters that you play on SNL. You've played George Santos.

1264.979 - 1269.601 Bowen Yang

Yes. Oh, there he is.

1269.641 - 1271.902 Desi Lydic

The very handsome George Santos.

Chapter 8: Who is Bowen Yang and what does he share about his new movie and SNL roles?

1364.153 - 1387.645 Bowen Yang

It was. Oh my gosh. You really are grilling me. We'll get to the terrace. I love it. I love it. No, you know what? I worked with... You guys are going to roll your f***ing eyes. I worked with like an accent coach. We had to find the middle between... We had to find the middle between like... Appalachian, but Ohio. Like we really had to like find the right. Yeah.

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1387.705 - 1406.872 Bowen Yang

And like, I was like, I don't want to screw this up. Like I have, I have such an uphill battle here. Like I've got my almond eye. I like this and they're everyone in America is gonna be like this Asian guy's playing that guy. Like I was like, I really got to nail this down. And I, and I'm just telling you guys I'm doing my best. Okay.

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1411.673 - 1427.121 Desi Lydic

It is so far beyond that. I love hearing that because your presence on SNL is like, I can't imagine the pressure cooker it must be. And you always look so calm and cool and relaxed. So thank you for sharing that you work really hard.

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1427.141 - 1427.341 Bowen Yang

Yeah.

0

1427.361 - 1428.542 Desi Lydic

And you hire an accent coach.

1428.582 - 1432.644 Bowen Yang

And I'm not even on ketamine. It's amazing. Oh. Yet.

1432.945 - 1433.305 Desi Lydic

Yet.

1433.325 - 1433.646 Bowen Yang

Yet.

1434.606 - 1452.845 Desi Lydic

I want to talk about your podcast, Las Culturistas. Pop culture has been a huge part of your life. You started doing that in 2016 before SNL. How has your perspective changed over the years, being someone who observes and is passionate about pop culture, to then becoming part of the culture?

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